Well, here's the next chapter. Sorry that I haven't updated sooner, but Christmas is sooo fun and this has been quite a hard chapter to write…. It's a bit of a big step, for me anyway but you'll all probably hate it, knowing my luck! Lol. I got my first flame, well sort of, it was criticism, the whole thing, so thank you RonWeasley is MY King! Hehe.

The Bell and the Black Dragon: Wow, my longest review. I'm glad you came through it all, that's always the best part and I'm glad you're working it all out. If you ever want to talk, feel free to email me. I LOVE Something Corporate and bands like Greenday, Offspring etc.

Aticia: I have taken your advice, hope you like this chapter!

None of the Above: You'll have to excuse my grammar, never was my strong point. Hope it's better in this chapter though… Feel free to go about it, if you keep reading that is until I get myself sorted!

Charl1e: Thank you for your continuous support!

Shiny-misS: As per usual, thank you soooo much, you don't realise how much I appreciate your comments. Thank you, thank you. 

Well anyway, on with the story….

Chapter Ten – Caught.

Harry entered the Great Hall on the 1st December, not noticing the stunning Christmas decorations that adorned the Hall, including 12 14ft Christmas Trees covered in gold and silver decorations and studded with little white lights, topped off with a moving angel or shooting star at the top. Each houses banner was decorated with tinsel of its house colours and the floating candles above the tables had changed colour to red, green and white – just like the peppermint canes (sweets). Also the tables had placed down the centre, table decorations of red with green candles. Everyone was laughing and chatting, the idea of going home for Christmas was the topic of the majority of people's conversation.

Harry walked to the Gryffindor table, his head hung, looking at the ground. His eyes were dull and empty, there were bags under his eyes from the recent lack of sleep. He hadn't He hadn't eaten anything either, since the last time he saw Remus, he just appeared at meal times so not to arouse suspicion. Remus had tried to talk to him but Harry had just shut himself away, it was now as if he was an empty shell walking around the school. The scars on his arm were showing more now, as he kept cutting them open, night after night; they were becoming harder to conceal.

Harry arrived at a seat, not too far away from Ron, Hermione and the other sixth year Gryffindors. There was a sudden silence when he sat down but after that they continued with their conversation. He managed to capture some of the conversation between Ron and Hermione. Ron was saying…

'So Mione, you going to come home with me for Christmas?

'Really! You really want me there!' Hermione sounded surprised.

'Yeah, well you're my girlfriend and I want to spend a fun and happy time with you, also……' Ron trailed off, Harry could tell Ron was looking at him. They continued their conversation in whispers.

0000

The next evening Harry was back up in the bathroom looking down at his arm and the thin red scars that ran along them. He decided that if he was going to continue doing this then he was going to have to do it properly. Harry's hand reached out to the scissors and his wand, he wrapped his hand round them both.

Harry transfigured the scissors into a shard of glass. 'This is the way to do it, to cause the greatest amount of pain. I have to do it, I need to know why, why this has happened to me and if there is really a chance of finding out who I truly am, deep down inside of myself. I'm Harry James Potter on the surface, but what about inside? Who resides within me? The true me? Does that person even exist!' Harry contemplated to himself.

Without any further hesitation he took the piece of glass gently into his hand, not caring whether it cut into his skin and just held it there for a few seconds looking at it, the pureness of it and how it his nothing, it was possible to see every line and contour of Harry's hand – there was no chance to hide. Then in the next few seconds it was covered in Harry's blood as he pierced his creamy, white flesh – the pureness damaged and it became translucent, you could see some of what resided on the other side but obviously not all of it. He cut again and again, plunging the glass down onto his skin – more and more blood poured onto the floor. The cutting became more and more frenzied and disarrayed; it didn't follow a pattern as before, this time the cuts appeared randomly. Harry was just blindly cutting his wrist and forearm closer to shreds.

Harry paused for a while and took three very deep breaths, taking in the air seemed like it was cutting his throat, it felt dry and sore. The piece of glass changed hands and Harry began to etch into his skin a question he had been asking himself for the past month. First the W, then the H and Y. Harry continued and inscribed the M and the E, finishing off with the ?. Each line of the letters caused him excruciating pain, as the blood seeped out onto his skin, but it wasn't necessarily because it hurt but because of the memories that haunted him, that never went away. Gradually Harry's eyes shut, he knew his robes were drenched with his blood but knew it made no difference. That was when he heard the toilet door open and someone walk in.

'Fuck!' exclaimed the voice.

'The name's Harry, Malfoy.'

'Shitting fuck.'

'We're getting closer, but you're still not quite getting it right. It's Harry – H A R R Y.' Harry said slowly.

'For Gods sake Potter!'

Harry heard Malfoy rush into one of the cubicles his feet hitting the concrete swiftly. The next thing Harry knew, Malfoy was tenderly removing the shard of glass from his limp hand.

'Didn't know you cared,' Harry leered at Malfoy.

Malfoy didn't even bother dignifying this with an answer. Harry opened his eyes to see Malfoy dabbing carefully at his am but no matter how much he dabbed and covered the cuts the bleeding didn't stop.

'Idiot, idiot, idiot,' Malfoy mumbled.

'Why thank you,' Harry replied.

'I mean me,' Malfoy said pulling out his wand.

'Oh no you fucking don't!' Harry shouted.

Malfoy looked at Harry as if he had gone completely and utterly insane, which at the moment was probably true.

'What?' Questioned a disbelieving Malfoy.

'I said, no you fucking don't.'

'I heard perfectly well what you said, I may be many things Potter but being deaf isn't one of them.' Malfoy snapped.

Harry shook his head, 'It's complicated.'

'Like bloody hell it is. Look, at least let me make sure they're clean and then wrap bandages loosely round……' he trailed off.

Harry glanced at Malfoy, wondering where this sudden concern for his well being had come from.

'Fine, if it'll shut you up.'

So Malfoy did just that, they were bandaged loosely which didn't stop them from bleeding, but it prevented the worst. So after about 5 minutes of silence between them there was a red patch beginning to appear on the bandage.

Malfoy finally spoke, 'Why Potter, why?'

'Dunno. It felt right, I needed a release and this happened to be it.'

'Well it's bloody stupid if you ask me.'

'I didn't.'

'You didn't what?' drawled Malfoy.

'Didn't ask you.'

'Oh stop being so fucking smart.'

'You asked for it.'

'Didn't.'

'Metaphorically speaking you did.'

'So come on then, explain…' Malfoy said seriously.

'I needed to feel further away from the perfect boy I'm so thought to be. I needed to try and forget, move on. I needed to let out all the stress and jealously that has been building up inside of me out. Ok? Happy now?'

'No, firstly Potter, you're not perfect……' Malfoy was interrupted.

'I know I'm fucking not. God, don't you think that I of all people would know that? Hmm? What do you take me for? Actually don't answer that, Dumbledore thinks I'm going to win this battle, the whole entire shitting Wizarding World is relying on me, wait, not just them the Muggle World too, they just don't know it. Then there's my 'friends' who have very kindly seemed to have misplaced me in their lives just because I'm not the person I have been for the past 5 years. So all this shit has been building up, and therefore I felt I deserved a relief of a kind, which became this…… And I have no idea why in all this fucked up world, I am talking to you of all people about it,' Harry practically shouted the majority of this small speech, while gesturing to his arms.

'Well Potter, I think about half the castle knows about your most inner feelings.' Malfoy smirked.

'Well maybe that's a good thing Malfoy because then they all may GIVE ME A BREAK!' Harry screamed and banged his fist hard of the concrete floor, causing tears to come to his eyes, which he promptly removed with the bandage on his arm.

'What would you do if Weasley and Granger found out about this?' Malfoy questioned.

'They wouldn't,' Harry said shortly. 'They will never find out and neither will anyone else for that matter. I don't think I could take their pity.' Harry paused. 'I am so fucking messed up, first I complain about how they're not taking any notice of me and then I'm saying that I don't want them to. Buggering hell.'

'Yep, you're screwed up all right Potter.'

'Sod off.'

'What? I'm just agreeing with you Potter, I must say there really is a first time for everything.' Malfoy smiled to himself and then continued, 'Why did you get those tattoos?'

Harry didn't speak for awhile and just pondered the totally out of the blue question Malfoy had posed him with.

'Why did I get them? I was feeling rebellious, I was feeling spontaneous and generally I have always wanted some. Shit, I really should stop talking to myself, inside my head, Malfoy's waiting for an answer and I don't have one.' Harry thought.

'I guess, it was all to do with being different I suppose…… standing out for being me and not Harry James Potter, the-boy-who-lived.'

'There's a difference?'

'A big one.'

'Care to elaborate on that point?' Malfoy asked.

'No.' Harry said bluntly.

'Well that does wonders for this productive conversation of ours.'

'Why did you stay?'

'What!' Malfoy said sharply.

'Why did you help? Why did you talk to me? Why did you stay?' Harry looked at Malfoy.

'Fuck knows. I couldn't really leave you here to bleed to death because if you died it would probably end up with me getting the blame anyway. Plus we can't have Wonder Boy dying on us before he defeats Voldemort can we?'

'And the real reason is?' Harry enquired.

'What on earth are you on about Potter? That is the real reason. Nothing else to it.' Malfoy got up and began to pace the toilet with a troubled look on his face.

'Oh.' Harry sighed and his eyes looked downwards to his bandaged arm that was now stained almost completely red. Harry began to remove the bandage and winced silently as he detached the bandage from his cuts.

'What the sodding hell do you think you are doing!' Questioned a shocked Malfoy. 'Potter, no one goes against a Malfoy or what they have done and seeing as I did those bandages you DO NOT undo them. Plus they are the only thing that is going to stop the bleeding seeing as you won't let me heal them.'

'Malfoy, be quiet. I can't take it anymore listening to all your random bullshit.'

'You fucking ungrateful git. You do realise I could have left you here, alone.'

Harry muttered something that Malfoy didn't quite catch. 'Sorry?'

'I SAID MAYBE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA!' Harry shouted back.

Malfoy moved so quickly that before Harry could stop him – he and Malfoy were face to face. All that Harry could see were the never ending pools of silver, and all he could feel was Malfoy's hot breath upon his lips – Harry could tell their lips were centimetres apart.

'Don't you dare speak like that,' Malfoy hissed quietly to Harry, causing his lips to brush slightly against Harry's own lips, but nothing more. On each word Malfoy tightened his grip on Harry's arms so that the cuts started to bleed severely again as pain shot through Harry like a bullet. This was something Harry couldn't take from anyone especially a Malfoy, so using all the strength he could muster Harry brought his arms out from under Malfoy's weight with Malfoy still holding them. Then pushing with his left arm on Malfoy's right shoulder and pulling with his other hand on Malfoy's left shoulder he spun the smaller young man away from him and across the toilet floor.

'Finally putting something Remus has taught me into action.' Harry thought and smiled, then turned to Malfoy, 'You ok?'

'Yes.' Malfoy got up and brushed himself down. 'I can't believe you did that though.'

'Well I now know a way to make you quiet, which will be good for future reference.'

'Your arm is still bleeding. I dread to think how much blood you've lost.'

'Yeah well.'

'Do you not care? About something, anything, yourself? Or is it all a big lie or joke to you? Life, your life? A life that you have rebuilt over the past 5 years – that is now your own and no one elses?' Malfoy asked.

'Ah but do you not see, it isn't my life – never has been – it's how Dumbledore wants me to be now. For the first 11 years of my life, except one I was a nobody and now the last 5 years I have been a pawn in a game, to prevent something. Not much difference there really, so it is a lie isn't it?'

'Not if you don't want it to be.' Malfoy grabbed Harry by the shoulders. 'Not if you don't want it to be.'

'Shut up Malfoy, shut up, just stop being right and did I mention…… shut up.' Then Harry blacked out into darkness.

0000

Well that's the next chapter – I'm not too sure about Malfoy at the moment. I need to sort his character out I think. Hopefully it'll get better over the next few chapters…… Also I'm sorry if you are a great Harry/Draco fan and are disappointed that there hasn't been any 'action', well I'm being realistic and it just wouldn't happen yet, so please, please be patient with me. Love you all lots. Please review, press that little 'Go' button, you know you want to really…..!

Lelimo