"That there are many things that we can't past. The bad things that happened and we become afraid of what might happen in the future. It's okay to be afraid. but we have to keep hoping and believeing to keep hoping and trying our best to be good and do good. Even when we're afraid."

― Nafisa Haji, The Writing on My Forehead

December 2,1988

She couldn't get out. The car door was locked. A bunch of spiders were crawling up her back. A clown was in the back of the car watching her as her family were covered in blood.

She turned her head and sitting next to her in the driver's seat was a version of what Joey believed was her when she was older.

"You did this!" The older Joey yelled at her and then suddenly the car drove into the bottom of the ocean.

"Daddy!" Four year old Joey cried out for her Dad while sitting up. Mike ran into the room and took Joey into his arms.

"What's wrong?"

"I had a bad dream." She told him as she buried her face into his chest.

"Again?"

She nodded her head at him. He picked her up and then took her into the kitchen. "What are we doing here?"

"We are making pancakes," Mike told her. Joey tilted her head at him. "But it's not even breakfast time yet."

"That's the fun part, Joey." He told her as he put her on the kitchen counter.

"Daddy you are crazy sometimes." Joey said to him while rolling her eyes.

Mike said nothing as he started to cut up the bananas. "You still haven't told me about the dreams you been having." He said to her.

"I had a dream that involved spiders crawling up my back in the front seat of our car. While you, Mama, and Bessie were killed in the backseat of the car by a big scary clown. However, this didn't leave me completely alone because then an older version of myself started to yell at me telling me it was my fault that you all were dead. Then we drove into the bottom of an ocean."

Mike looked up at his daughter and stopped what he was doing. "Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" He whispered.

"I was scared if I would have said something it would have came true," Joey whispered.

Mike took her in his arms and just held her there. "Here is the funny thing about life baby girl. It is scary and those things you just described to me are just fears trying to haunt you. It is one of the worse feelings in the world."

"What are fears?"

"It's something you are scared of."

"Do fears ever come true?" Joey asked while she softly played with his earlobe.

"Sometimes if you allow it to play in your mind too much. But Joey. Your mama, Bessie, and I will always be here for you because we love if something did happen to us,we will always be right here." Mike said as he pointed to her forehead.

Joey looked at him and smiled. He then put his nose on her nose. "You are my baby girl and no matter what happens, I will be there for you and your fears."

He then hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. "Want to help me make those pancakes?"

Joey nodded her head and he put her back on the counter as she helped him put the flour in the bowl as much as possible without spilling it everywhere, they cracked the eggs, poured the milk, and then whisked it all together.

Joey then would watch her Dad as he would tell her stories that he had made up in his head. Then he showed her how to pour the mix on the pan as well as flipping the pancakes. She would laughed as he made a bunch of funny faces while he flipped the pancakes. She felt as if she could trust him and that she was loved by him but most of all she felt safe. As if nothing was ever going to harm her.

As she was eating the pancakes, he read her the Alexander Fairy Tale book. She listened as his voice would change to act out the characters.

He then would carry her to bed and read more until she fell asleep. When she would wake up the next morning, he would still be right there. No matter what time she would get up he would make sure to not leave her side till she woke up.

November 2, 1990

Seven-year-old Joey stared up at the ceiling as she watched the shadows come along the walls. The patterns creeped her out and she was terrified over every little thing. She turned to Dawson and started to shake him awake.

"Dawson."

Silents.

"Dawson," Joey repeated louder than before and then shooked him harder to wake him up. "What?" He mumbled. "Did you hear that?" She asked. Dawson sat up and turned on his light. "Do I hear what?" he said as Joey grabbed the ET doll from the floor.

Dawson got up from the bed and went to check outside the bedroom door. "Joey there is nothing there?" He said as Joey cuddled against the ET doll.

"I am pretty sure there is."

Dawson laid back down as he smiled at Joey. It was the first time she had ever slept over and he found this amusing to watch.

"Scaredy-cat."

"Shut up," Joey whispered.

It was quiet as she started to shake in fear again. "Sorry, do you need me to get you a night light?"

"Dawson Leery."

"Before you moved here, Pacey and I had only had one sleepover at the house. We normally just go into the woods. So it's nice that you are here with me. It took us a long time to do this. But I am glad I met you during the summer."

Joey turned to face him. "I am glad I moved here, my old town was kind of boring before. I had friends but nobody was like you."

"Now you are less lonely with Me, Pacey, and of course ET"

Joey laughed at this but then made a face at the thought of Pacey Witter. He was constantly pulling her hair, made fun of her, and just never seemed to act like he knew Joey had feelings.

"Pacey is so rude to me."

Dawson let out a laugh. "Yeah, he is a little mean, isn't he?" Dawson whispered. "The first time I met him he pulled my hair and made fun of my name," Joey said. Dawson laughed at her expression as she started to hide a little more into the ET doll.

"I have a feeling one day you two will be friends."

"Please," Joey scruffed.

She then turned to face him. "What food makes you the happiest?"

"Food?"

"Yeah."

"Probably bacon," Dawson said.

"Mine would be my Dad's pancakes."

"Are they good?"

"They are too good to be true, just thinking about it makes my mouth water. He makes them so fluffy and soft that I feel the comfort that I never knew I needed. Daddy makes them whenever I am having a bad dream, he will pick me up and we will go into the kitchen. He then will let me help him measure the cups and pour the batter onto the pan. Then by the end of it. I forget every bad thing that was ever in my dream."

"So, they bring you a lot of comfort?"

"Yeah, they do. It makes me feel safe. Mama says that when I grow up and get married, she hopes I can find someone that can cook for me just like Daddy."

Dawson smiled up at her. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"I think maybe a writer. I love to write. I know we are only seven but every time I pick up a pencil and start writing it's like everything inside of me that once felt bad just simply goes away. I also want to be able to go to college. Mom says she hopes I go and Dad said he hopes I go as well. Nobody in our family has ever finished and I want to make them proud."

"That's how I feel about filming. It's like no matter what it is the one thing that will never betray me. When I get older, I want to go to LA and become a film director. I know I can do things nobody else can do, you know?"

"Yeah, I do know what you mean."

"What are your dreams about?" Dawson asked her. Joey sighed as she started to play with the ET's arms. "I dream I am trapped in this car and I am at the bottom of the ocean. I can't get out nor can someone save me. Everything I fear is in that car. Clowns, Spiders, and my family that is killed in the backseat. This older woman is sitting in the front of the car with me and she just looks at me and says you did this. You killed your family." Joey explained all of this and then looked at Dawson to find him asleep.

"And I can say the older woman is me," Joey whispered. "Daddy says that I am scared over nothing. But I don't know why I have those dreams every night but sure enough, I been having them for years." Joey said as she hugged ET harder and a tear started to fall down her face.

Suddenly she felt Dawson's finger wiping away her tears. "Well, I am not going anywhere. I will be by your side tonight if you have those dreams." Dawson whispered.

"Can you leave the light on?"

"Yeah. Sure. Goodnight, Joey."

"Night Dawson."

August 1, 2001

Joey Potter sighed as she stood in front of the B&B, as she felt like her heart was skipping when she saw Dawson sitting on the steps waiting for her as he was playing with an ET doll.

Ever since twenty days ago when she had punched Dawson in the face, she had begin to let her pride and stubbornness get the best of her. But at the same time Dawson also had never come to the B&B which cause her to believe she wasn't the only one who had let her pride and stubbornness get the best of the emotions.

"Hey." She said as she sat down next to him. Dawson then looked over at her and smiled.

"Hey."

It was quiet for a moment as the silence followed by the hey got awkward. "For many years, We would talk about our future. I would go into film school, you would go to the most top proceed college, we would move away from this town but somehow manage to be together and we would support one another no matter what. Just like day one. But when you told me you were pregnant, I realize that the vision I had in my mind wasn't as real as I would love it to be."

Joey's eyes started to tear up as she bite her bottom lip and stared deeply into Dawson's eyes. "My first reaction was that I am going to lose the only girl I have ever had my eyes on. Our movies nights, the way we would spend the nights talking about nothing to everything, but most importantly, what makes us Dawson and Joey is our time together."

"Dawson." Joey started to say. "I remember the moment your mom died and you ran up to me and just cried for hours. I remember when you and I first met and I saw your smile for the first time. I remember in second grade when you kissed me on the cheek and Pacey told me I get cooties so I wiped it off in front of you. But most of all, I will always remember how we watch E.T together for the first time, I watch you as you watched the ending telling me it was the best movie you have ever seen while crying."

"I mostly remember how our first sleepover went that day. It was the first day you saw me cry," Joey whispered with a smile.

"We haven't left one another then and I refuse to leave you alone now. It is my fault for acting like an ass to you. I am truly sorry for that. It shouldn't matter if we are across the street or across the world from one another. You will always be my soulmate, the one I am constantly thinking about."

"I am scared that you are just saying that but you are leaving to go to LA in less than twenty-four hours Dawson. We talked about this for years, you will find some girlfriend and she will be gorgeous then you simply forget about me."Joey said.

"No, I won't," Dawson said.

"Yes, you will. Every time I think someone is going to be there for me they always leave. My mom when she died, my Dad when he got arrested, Pacey when he had left for sea after we broke up, and then you when you refused to talk to me for weeks after finding out about Pacey and I. You have the choice to run, Dawson. You get to leave but I chose to keep this baby that is inside of me but Dawson if you want to leave then you are allowed to. You realize that, don't you. You don't have to be the hero in this scene of whatever movie is playing in your mind."

"I am not trying to be the hero. But somehow you just have to let me in again. You did it before, I haven't left, and despite what I said before about Pacey hasn't left either, right."

Joey looked down at the ET sitting on Dawson's lap. "Right," Joey whispered. "And where is he right now?" Dawson asked.

Joey thought about this morning since Pacey had been living in a room at the B&B, he had been cooking for the guests. This morning he had told her that he had a job interview for Culinary down in Boston and that he was going to grab the newspaper. So that they could maybe find a place and job down there for her since she didn't want to be in the dorm rooms due to the pregnancy.

"Having a job interview," Joey answered him. "And where am I?" Dawson asked her. "With me right now."

"You said earlier that Pacey and I are always leaving but the truth is that we haven't gone anywhere. That somehow despite everything Pacey and I disagree on you are the one thing that we can somehow agree on when we are disagreeing. That no matter what happens Joey, you have to always wreck our world. You just never seemed to see it." Dawson said as he set the ET doll on Joey's lap.

"When you feel like the world is against you take this ET doll. Let this doll bring you the memories it did when you were little and didn't know what to expect. But I remember you looking at me after the movie and saying it was the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. Remember that feeling because every time I think of how wrong I was about Pacey and refusing to let my pride go and say I was wrong, it was every day I just made the movie I had in my head worse. Mom looked at me and said life doesn't work as a script but you have to go create the new one together. I don't care if I am three thousand miles away and no matter how I look or don't look I want to join your movie. Let me join this movie."

Joey was in shock, she heard Dawson talk about so many things since they were seven. She seen him had countless meltdowns or fantasies in his head but not,once has she ever seen him like this. Now as they were seventeen and he was somehow accepting that new part of her life.

"I supposed in this movie, this E.T will be able to come home to stay with me?" Joey whispered as she smiled at Dawson. "Unlike the E.T from the original movie, I will come back," Dawson promised her and then held up her finger and Joey put her finger against his.

She laughed then put her head against his shoulder. "I remember the first time I saw you. You had your film camera in one hand and used your other hand to talk. I remember looking at my mom and just wanting to talk to you. Then you came over and played with me." Joey whispered.

"The first time I saw you you were laughing about something your mom had said to you. I will never forget every first time that we had together."

Joey sighed as she turned her face into his shirt to cover her eyes. She felt the tears threatening to come out. Don't cry. Don't do it. She told herself.

"Did you bring the doll because of the first time we slept over in your bedroom?" Joey whispered. "Yeah, I remember that day like yesterday," Dawson said.

Joey lifted her head to look at him. "Of course you do." She teased.

"You were scared of a shadow that had crept into my room."

"What can I say I was a scaredy-cat."

"You still are," Dawson said with a laugh.

"Oh, shut up." She said with a giggle.

Dawson put his nose against his and brush it against hers. "Dawson." She whispered as he got closer. She couldn't kiss him it didn't feel right.

He pushed his lips back but left their noses together. They then sat like that for a few minutes.

Finally, Joey cleared her throat and turned her head to look at the door. "You want to watch E.T with me?" She asked.

"I would love to," Dawson said with a weak smile. She took his hand and then dragged him to the B&B doorway.

It was an hour after Dawson had left for the airport and Joey was laying across the couch in the empty B&B as she cried while watching ET and cuddling with the ET doll. In the beginning, she told herself she wouldn't cry over something so silly. However, after Dawson had left and then she was alone. She could feel the tears running down her face as fast as a hare running past the tortoise.

Suddenly she heard her name be called by Pacey but she had no energy to straighten herself out to make it look like she was even ok. She looked over at him with her chin on the E.T doll's head and her arms wrapped around it like it would go away forever if she let go of it.

Pacey kneeled in front of her and softly took the doll out of her arms and pulled her up to go into a hug. When she reached the warmth of his body it felt as if all the lights had come through in her body. She had been telling herself the whole time not to cry when Dawson was about to leave but instead of hiding her fears from Pacey, she allowed it to come out.

She felt Pacey's hand run across her back. Up and down, up and down. She knew she couldn't hide all those feelings that were slowly burning inside of her as her emptiness had begin to pour out in a flood of uncontrollable tears.

"It's ok." She heard Pacey say through her ears. "You are ok." He whispered as he continued to calm her down she begin to take in deep breaths. Finally when she felt as if she was done crying she bit her lip and pull herself out of his warm embrace.

She sat down on the couch and hug the ET doll as Pacey sat down next to her. "What happened Jo?" He whispered. "It's stupid." She whispered as she shook her head at him. "Joey, it's not stupid even if you are simply crying over the end of the ET movie it would never be stupid, well maybe it would be a little bit funny-" Pacey started to say but had stopped himself as she gave him a look.

"Ok, it will not be funny," he said with his hands up in the air. Joey chuckled as she gave him a weak smile.

"Dawson came to the B&B before he left." Joey started to say. "Was he rude?" Pacey asked gently but as Joey looked over to him she could tell there was resentment in his eyes. "No, actually it was the opposite. He said that he will stay and he is ok with this new part of the life, and he would love to be apart of it." Joey said as she nervously played with the doll.

Pacey looked at her confused, "That's great-" Pacey started to say. Joey put the E.T doll next to her and stood up. "Ever since I found out about the pregnancy my mind has been racing, like what if I can't complete school. I mean would a school like Worthington want me-" Joey said as she started to pace on the floor but Pacey got up.

"Whoa,whoa,whoa. Joey. You don't think my mind isn't racing as well?" He said.

"I mean I know you promise me, but how do you know the school would even want me now? How can I complete everything now? I mean nobody going to want to be around me when I become this huge hormonal woman that can't deal with her feelings , there is the studying, Pacey. You know how I am about my grades, it took a lot of scholarships to even get into that school, and even then that wasn't enough. Dawson had to help and all the-"

"But you got in," Pacey said as he took her hand. "You, Miss. Joey Potter got into the college of your dream. Because you worked hard for what you wanted. You are going to get looks, and you are right you may not get the full picture of your dream. But did you think I wanted to give up my dream on that boat? No, I didn't."

"Then why did you?" Joey asked as he sat her down on the couch. Pacey let out a deep breath and then looked at her.

"When we first had sex, I had a moment where I wasn't just some horny teenager that wanted sex all the time without thinking. Yes, I repeated myself over and over about the sex but in a way, I have known you practically my whole life. I have seen you cry in tears of frustration when your grades weren't perfect. Even with a ninety-eight, it was hard for you to accept how amazing you are.

I remember the first time you got your period, and I had to give you my jacket. You were embarrassed, but I am so used to things like that because of the women in my household. I was there at your mom's funeral, and I held you for just a few minutes but in my eyes that felt like a lifetime."

He then let out a sigh and a small laugh. "I remember when I first met you, it was in classroom and I took one look at you and fell for you. But instead of being nice to you and telling you were beautiful, I pulled your ponytail and told everyone you had cooties." Pacey said with smirk.

Joey laughed and rolled her eyes. "And that's the moment I hated you."

" But Jo, in my mind, it was the moment that I noticed you are different from the other girls. So much that I kissed you three times, and still never lost hope. So, when we started to have sex, I thought about the future. I made a promise to myself that if you happen to get pregnant I would stay by your side. Helping you, loving you, and supporting you whether we are together or not. But most of all showing that kid, that parents can get along. I will be a father who will support this child no matter what you and I's relationship is ever like. When I heard that you were pregnant, I didn't know what to say. When I heard you were in the hospital from Doug, I dropped everything in hopes that you were ok.

I told you this four years ago when we first worked on that science project together and I will tell you this again right now. You will make it, and that Jo, hasn't changed. I will help you study. On September first when you walk into that building and someone makes a single comment about you. You can just tell me. Because nothing is going to stop me from letting you give up your dreams. I can let go of mine but no way in hell will I allow yours to leave. Do you hear me? We aren't together as a couple but I have always had high hopes for you. You just have to let me in."

"I hear you, Pacey. I am just scared if we are doing this all-" Joey started to say but watched as Pacey got up from his chair and grabbed a stack of papers.

"Here are all the apartments that are around Worthington. Here are all the jobs that are hiring even pregnant woman like yourself." Pacey said as he sat down next to her again while handing her the papers. "I did this when I left the I got it by the way."

"You did?" Joey asked while looking up at the papers to look at him. "Yeah, I start Monday but I was thinking about this. We rent an apartment together. You will be on one side, I will be on the other side. We don't even have to talk to one another. We split rent with each other and someone else, we are both broke at the moment but I still have some money that could get us through the first rent. We both work, and if we do decide to keep the baby. I will stay with you till you want me out."

Joey looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "You would do that?"

"Yes, I would. I will do whatever you need. There are plenty of cheap apartments, it could be a fixer-upper with some. However, I am pretty sure we can handle that after our long list of fixer-uppers. But if you don't want to do this-"

Joey shook her head at him. "Are you kidding? That is a great idea. Thank you, Pace."

Joey looked through the papers and felt as if the pregnancy was becoming more real. She had this strong feeling that the start of adulthood was most definitely not going to be easy. As she was flipping through the paper, she let out a chuckle.

Ten years ago if someone looked at Joey and Pacey and told them this was going to happen to them when they were seventeen and eighteen they most certainly would run away from them screaming. But here she was listening to him speak about how he wasn't going to leave. She had to force herself not to kiss him at that moment. It took all of her not to say I still love you. She refused to say those words to him, to mess with something that could easily be left undone.

She looked up at him as he had his papers, and flipping through it.

"Pace?"

"Jo."

"Thank you. I don't know what I would do without you."

Pacey let out a small chuckle and looked up at her. "You wouldn't be pregnant if you were without me."

Joey gave him a look as he laughed. "That's not funny." She said as she bite her bottom lip from laughing.

He smiled at her and then looked down at the paper. "Is this weird to you?" Joey asked. "What you mean?" Pacey asked her.

"I mean four months ago we were in high school, dating and wondering where life was taking us and now we are sitting here trying to figure out what this whole pregnancy will bring us. I mean is this ok?" Joey explained to him. "I mean we got to do, what we got to do. It just kind of sad, we have to do it this way." Pacey said.

"Are you ok with this?" Pacey asked her. Joey sighed as she didn't look up at him.

"You know, part of me thinks we can prove a lot of things to this kid if we aren't together. I seen my parents not work out and they had a baby at a young age, I think we were made to be together at one point in time but maybe it was never really meant to be."

"Yeah. I guess you are right." Pacey said as he looked down at the newspaper. "This isn't as expensive as the other ones," Joey said as he pointed at a place.

"Yeah, I looked at most of them while I was down there," Pacey said. Joey let out a small smile, "Tell me about this place." Joey said.

"Well, there is a woman named Flora who originally rents it, she wants to split the cost. She is twenty and she has a three-year-old but he only lives there on the weekends. The Dad walked out but she is trying to fight for full custody but she needs the money to take care of her son. So, she wants to split the cost with other now, there is just her and her sister Audrey,who is around our age, living there."

"And is that the only place you have gone to?" Joey asked. "Uh, no. I went to five different places but that was the last one. All the other ones were either way too pricey or in a trashy neighborhood." Pacey said.

"Well, we should look at it," Joey said as she closed the newspaper. "Um, Jo, I think we are forgetting one part that we haven't talked about," Pacey said as he nervously picked at the thread of his sleeve.

"Which is?"

"Well, you talked about adoption, and I think it is an idea. But we need to know if we are saving our money for a baby, and how many jobs should we get now?"

Joey gulped and started to feel nauseous and for the first time since telling Dawson about the pregnancy, she felt as if it wasn't due to morning sickness. She then crossed her legs and turned to face him. "I want to keep this baby, Pace. But what if we weren't meant to be parents. When I first found out I was pregnant. I was scared to death but after my first doctor's appointment. I heard the little heartbeat and everything that I felt just went away. But you are asking me what I want but isn't it about what you want as well? Do you think we could handle a kid, Pace?"

"You don't think I am not scared as well?" He whispered. "I am terrified of our doctor's appointment that is in a few days. But I lay awake at night daydreaming of every little thing, and it just makes me want this baby more and more. I want to be a father, and yeah. I don't know what the hell I am doing but man wouldn't it be amazing if we just let our fears go and tried? Forget about our past and just took care of this baby with the love and kindness that it deserves?"

Joey felt her tears running down her face and her mind started to go to different places. What if he is right? What if we can do this? But what if he is wrong? What if we can't do this? She then looked up at him and saw him have tears in his eyes as well.

"I want this baby too, Pacey. But if we do keep this baby promise me one thing?"

"Anything."

"Promise me we will both stay. I feel like my mind has been spinning from all these fears. Will he not come back? Will he realize he doesn't want this baby with me and leave? Will he realize that his dreams are still out there and we are still young?"

Pacey then pulled her into his arms. Comfort. Security. Warmth. All those feelings made her feel like she was important in this world. One of the best feeling that she has so gracious have not lost yet.

"I promise you. I will be there. To answer those fears, I would come back. The past will haunt you one day or another and by leaving you now it would be very cowardly of me to come back to this and just leave you and this child."

"So we are both keeping this baby?" Joey asked softly. "Yeah, I guess so," Pacey whispered.

"But, um. We should probably tell your family." Joey said nervously. "Well, they like you more than me," Pacey said.

"Yeah. Pacey, I went to those Sunday dinners with your mom for at least seven months and I bet she is going to take one good look at me if we go over there and be like hey Josie."

"Better than a failure." Pacey scruff as he folded the newspaper and put it on the table. "I mean we could always not tell them, Jo."

"No, No, No," Joey said with a teasing smile

"Or we can go to a different country and act like we have no lives here."

"You are trying hard to get out of this aren't you?"

"Yeah, is it working?" Pacey said with a wink.

"Nope because there are some people in our lives that already know," Joey said with a laugh.

"Well, damn."

"As much as we are going to regret this, just call your mom. But it helps I'm scared to tell my Dad."

Pacey smiled at her and squeezed her hand. Joey knew how she felt about her Dad, the relationship over the years hasn't gotten any better. But never really felt like he would want to see her, he would of course write her letters and she would write back at times. But the relationship had broken years ago.

"How about this?" Pacey said. "I will tell my family and you write to your Dad about the pregnancy."

"You know, moving away sounds like a good idea right now," Joey whispered.

"Well, like you said half the family already knows."

Joey smiled at him and then thought about her Dad. Pacey was a lot like him, the way they loved to cook, the comfort they can give others, their smiles lighting up the room, but mostly how they can easily calm her nerves.

"I never told you this but when I was little my Dad would come in whenever I had a bad dream. It was always the same dream over what I feared over. I would wake up screaming my head off, and my Dad would comfort me. Then we would make pancakes, his pancakes are like yours. Soft and fluffy, but when he put chocolate chips and bananas in it. One thing it has in common is the warmth it gets it. Now, I miss his pancakes and I would do anything to go to him and have me make them."

Pacey got up and went into the kitchen. "I will make some now. Keep talking."

"I wonder what my mom would say about all of this," Joey said with a laugh. "Probably would yell at me."

Pacey said nothing as he started to make the batter.

"When I was little I was scared of a lot of things," Pacey whispered. "I was told to hold in my feelings but, one day I remember my Dad running for sheriff, and I had to wear a suit and a tie. The tie was too tight, and the people were making me anxious. I remember my stomach was hurting so much I just fell to the floor. I was only seven but I had embarrassed my Dad that night for not being the perfect son. For not being the way he wanted. That was the first beaten, I had ever gotten. It was over something so stupid but it was also the night I viewed my Dad in a different way."

Joey let out a sigh as she walked over to him and grabbed a banana and started to cut it up. "I remember when my mom died, I walked into the room and found her cold. She was so lifeless and then Dad got back into drugs. The rumors started to go around fast and it felt like my whole world was falling behind me. That's one of the main reasons why I am excited to get out of Capeside in September. Even if I come back, about living here. I just care that I don't live here."

Pacey turned to her and let out a chuckle. "Maybe that's why we are so scared to be parents. It's funny because when you are little you view your parents as someone who can never hurt you. Then when finding out that they can hurt you it's like this pain comes over you no matter how old you are."

Joey looked up at him and smiled at him. "I think I am going to write that letter. But I can't wait for the pancakes, it's the first thing in weeks that don't sound disgusting."

"Well, since you are doing that. I will call Ma."

Joey then walked into her bedroom and got out a piece of paper and pen. She stared at the two items for what seemed like a lifetime till she started to write.

Dad,

Hi. It's Joey. I didn't know when I could be able to tell you this or even if I could but I feel like I should somehow let you know this.

I'm pregnant. I have been so scared over what people will say. I mean I got into Worthington then I get pregnant that summer. But I feel like somehow I still need you.

Bessie has been nice about it which is surprising. But sometimes it pains me to be in the same room with her. As for the father, it is Pacey Witter. We aren't together, but we are planning on raising this baby together. I think we will turn out alright but sometimes I just wish it would be easier. I just want to make everyone proud in so many ways but it is harder now knowing that this expectation is going to hold over me.

I miss you, Dad. I wish you were here and I wish things were easier on us. But I hope that I can do right by this kid. I think some days it is hard to understand why you did what you did. Granted I am not even a mother to this baby in this world yet. But I think I understand why you did what you did. In ways, you were lost and didn't know where to go.

A lot of the time, I feel trapped. Like I am in this bubble and I can't breathe. But I also feel like if this is what adulting is then can I go back to being four where my only problem was making chocolate chip pancakes and watch you read to me. Because I would give anything to give those moments back. Wouldn't you?

With Love,

Joey Potter

Joey folded up the letter and put it into an envelope and then stare at the white blank envelope. Her thoughts then got interrupted by Pacey talking.

"Yeah, Ma." She could hear him say. "Great, we will see you next Sunday. Bye."

Joey walked out of her room and watched as Pacey put his head on the kitchen cabinet. She could see the pain he was trying to hide and she watched as he threw away a burnt pancake and started over.

She saw the tears coming down his face and he muttered something under his breath as he used a spoon to scoop for another round of pancakes.

She watched how gently he placed the mix onto the pan. "Pacey get over yourself." She could hear him mumbled under his breath.

Joey then said nothing as she walked over to him and turned off the stove. She put him in her arms and just simply without any explanation hugged him. "Joey." He whispered. "Pacey, you don't have to do this." She whispered to him.

"I feel like I do." He whispered. "No, you don't," Joey said loudly as she put her forehead on his.

"I just want to make you proud because I… um…I am the one that got you pregnant. I owe you that much."

"No, you don't. Pacey don't you see it? I don't want anything except for you to be happy and present. College, my Dad, jobs, apartments, or even the questions of what-ifs don't matter to me if you aren't in this with me."

"Do you think it's wrong of me to have this pain of guilt when I just called my Mom?"

"No, I understand that. This is just us having to deal our feelings. But, Pace. Even if they say something rude about you and me. You don't let it get to you. And another thing is you don't have to be the hero. I said to Dawson today and I will say it to you. You don't have to feel like you have to be nice or fun to be around just because you are here or even moving in with me. You still have your life, what happened in the past stays there but you have to make your path right now. Nobody is stopping you from anything."

Joey softly wiped his tears away with her thumb as he let out a breathy laugh. She wanted so desperately wanted to kiss his lips. She wanted to so desperately take their jokes seriously and to go somewhere else and never look back.

She wanted to wake up with him and hold his hand throughout the pregnancy and everyday after it.

But instead, she smiled at him and backed out of their hug. She gave him a weak smile, and went to her bedroom to only shut the door behind her alone.

AN- Fanfiction made it where there is some missing words but in AO3 and when I edited this it wasn't like that. So I do apologize over that.