Well I've finally managed to get my act together and write another chapter. Sorry it's been so long, I really am terrible in comparison to those who update every week. Anyway, no more random ramblings from me, I shall just get on with the story, this chapter is quite descriptive, not a lot of talking, so if you don't like I hope you'll forgive me! Getting closer to Draco and Harry actually doing something about one another…..! Read and I hope you enjoy.
Chapter Fifteen – The Valentines Day Ball Part 1
'Ahem,' Harry cleared his throat. 'Do you think I could speak to you for a minute?' There was still no reply – 'I know what I said but this is very important.'
Hermione finally turned around, Harry saw on her lap details about the Valentines Day Ball, which was looming up fast.
'I thought Harry Potter didn't grace us with his presence any longer?' She said spitefully.
'I deserved that.' Harry admitted to which Hermione shrugged her shoulders at him and look expectantly up at him. 'But, well, it's about that,' he said pointing to the piece of parchment on her lap.
Hermione's eyes shone, giving away her real feelings but suddenly she began to blush. 'Oh, um, Harry?'
'Yes?' Harry questioned confused, he was supposed to be speaking.
'You see, I would love to normally, despite everything but, well, I am Ron's girlfriend and so I th…' Hermione was cut off by Harry's laugh.
'You really thought I was asking you to the Ball! Amazing, utterly amazing. No Hermione, I'm not, not even to cover the fact that I'm gay. I was going to apologise but now I'll tell you straight. I'm not coming.'
'WHAT!' Hermione screamed as the redness in her cheeks turned from embarrassment to anger. 'After all this, I have tried to make this the best ball Hogwarts has ever seen and you're not coming! You don't have to talk to us, Ron and I, I can live with that. However, not to come to something that means a lot to me, well Mr Potter that's just disrespectful and down right rude. Surely our 6 years of friendship meant more? You know what, never mind, do what you like, I don't care anymore.' Hermione ran up the stairs to the girl's dorm.
Just as Hermione had finished her lecture, Ron walked into Common Room.
'Oh fuck.' Harry muttered.
'To provoke that kind of reaction you must have said something bad. She's worked really hard on this Ball, it might be dire but she's organised it.' Ron sighed. 'Hermione's been worried sick about you and there's nothing I can do to make it better. Come for her, one more thing before you desert us completely.'
Harry looked at Ron and Ron looked directly back at him with pity written all over his face. Harry didn't know what to say, Ron turned and went to talk to Ginny.
'I deserved that I suppose, but why can't Hermione see it from my point of view? I'm an outcast now and would not be welcome there, so why doesn't she understand? I don't belong, not anymore.' Harry thought exasperatedly. 'Well, she leaves me no choice.'
0000
Harry sat at the Gryffindor Table in the Great Hall the day before the Ball and opened yet another one.
'Dearest Harry,
I would be delighted if you would go with me to the Ball.
Love Susan Bones'
'She's left it a bit late,' Harry smiled wryly to himself. That was the 26th letter or request he had received from girls who wanted to go with him to the Ball and he had turned down each and every one of them. Susan Bones' would be no different. He was tired, so tired and fed up, why couldn't this year just come to an end?
He looked right down the table and saw all his fellow class mates laughing and chatting about something. 'I would have been there in the past, the past.' Harry looked around him; a half eaten piece of toast and a glass of pumpkin juice were his only companions. He didn't even know when he had stopped thinking of them as his friends. Everything rolled into one, his life, this year, he wasn't sure when anything had happened now, He didn't know when his extra lessons had finished, nor did he realise that he had done his homework, it was just done and that was that. No one spoke to him unless they had to, even Remus, good old Remus was giving him a wide berth. All of it was becoming pointless.
An owl flew down and dropped a letter in front of him; Harry didn't recognise the owl but opened the letter begrudgingly, expecting the worst.
'I know what you were thinking Potter, you thought this was yet another soppy request. Hate to burst your arrogant ego but no it isn't.'
Harry laughed; it was a laugh of relief rather than joy. However the note turned a little more serious.
'Can you please (do you notice I said please) destroy those letters once you have finished with them. I never want to see them again Harry, I would also be grateful if you would destroy this. It would ruin my reputation if anyone else found it, which you may enjoy to see, I on the other hand would be crushed with embarrassment. I did have the idea to make this self destruct in your face, which I would find amusing. However, I decided against that because you probably wouldn't and I trust you to get rid of it.
Well here's to the Ball (you're supposed to raise your glass) and all the bloody fun time we'll have there. Oh sodding Merlin.
D'
Harry shook his head with dismay and thought of the letters upstairs in his bedside table, just sitting there containing some of the information he needed to know. He would burn them as Malfoy asked, Malfoy's wish was his command but he would never let Malfoy know that. 'That would be complete social suicide.'
Harry folded the letter and placed it on the table. Quickly he looked around to make sure no one was paying particular attention to him and muttered, 'incendio.' The letter burst into flames which danced across the table and the letter was gone. Harry's head shot up and his eyes gazed across to the Slytherin table where Malfoy gave a slight nod and Harry raised his glass. This nod indicated the link between them as acquaintances and that was all, no more on Malfoy's part, Harry thought.
'How I wish I could hold him and protect him from his Father. Although if I tried to do that I'd probably spend the rest of my life as a toad.' Harry chuckled. 'I wouldn't put it past him nor do I plan to test it. Don't think my constitution could stand it.'
0000
Harry managed to get through yet another day and was now in the safety of the Room of Requirement practicing and keeping in shape. He had spent the last hour practicing all the illegal and difficult spells he'd learnt from Remus. Now he had a punch bag and kick boxing bag in the room along with towels, bottles upon bottles of water and the most important thing – a CD player. The CD player was blasting out music at full volume while Harry hit, whacked and punched the punch bag. Then he would kick and smash his legs into the kick boxing bag as he sang to himself in his head.
'Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness,
Because I can't hold on
When I'm stretched so thin
I make the right moves but I'm lost within,
I put on my daily façade but then I just end up getting hurt again,
By myself,
I ask why but in my mind,
I find I can't rely on myself,
I can't hold on.'
Harry paused and leaned against his bag, panting. His hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat and his grey t-shirt was nearly all dark grey with sweat. Harry glanced at his watch and realised he had been here for nearly 3 hours. 'Unbelievable, how time flies when you have something to take your anger out on.' Harry smirked and looked down at his arm. There were fresh cuts across it, all blood red and angry, some reaching to burst open with pain, others releasing drops of blood onto the floor due to the strain he had submitted his arms to. He grabbed a towel and a bottle of water and lay on the floor staring up at the blank ceiling.
Harry sat up and removed his t-shirt, rotating his shoulders as he did trying to banish the knots in his muscles. Hermione had always been able to massage them away but then was then and this is now, no Hermione. Harry's tattoos gleamed with sweat; it looked as if the snake was emitting tears from its black eye. Harry jumped up and moved to kick box, he stood in the stance that Remus had taught him and went for it, released his anger. His leg slammed into the bag making it vibrate, swinging the leg back down he brought the other up and made fast contact with the bag causing it to indignantly swing in the opposite direction. This continued every time Harry hit the bag he saw red, he saw anger, he saw Voldemort, Dumbledore, Hermione, Ron, Remus, Draco, Sirius and even his parents.
'How.' His leg smacked the bag. 'Could.' The bag made contact with his shin. 'They.' He jumped. 'Leave.' The other leg hit the bag full on. 'Me.' He landed on two feet like a panther and slumped to the floor letting two pure tears mingle in with the salty sweat.
0000
It was here. The Valentines Day Ball. This was it and he still didn't know why he was going, it wasn't as if he had neither a date nor anyone to go for. As he had thought earlier, it was bloody pointless.
Dinner had been cancelled as food was included at the Ball so this meant Harry didn't have to eat. In turn he would have more chance in being able to prop up the drinks table once he had severely attacked the punch. What he needed was Fred and George Weasley to crack a few jokes and make some rude but harmless comments about Ron to make him laugh through this. However, that was not to be, they too had stopped bothering with him really due to failing in being able to withdraw a word from him.
Harry sat himself down on the side of his bed with his dress robes laid neatly out next to him. His idea of a perfect evening would be to go into the Common Room place his dress robes on the fire, come back up to his dorm and read himself to sleep. Owing to the fact that he was severely trapped, this would not occur much to his disappointment.
'Maybe I could make an appearance for half an hour, so Hermione would see me and then leave.' Harry pondered. 'No one would miss me, no one will want a dance with me and no one will honestly be expecting me to turn up.'
Harry continued to think about his plan and the possibility of him achieving this goal. The more he thought about it the more appealing an idea it appeared to be. It had a lot of benefits and the only problem would be if Hermione noticed then he would never hear the end of it. Although, he could lie – something he was becoming particularly good at now. All in all Harry came to the conclusion that this was a plan to be put into action.
He took his dress robes from his bed and started to change. All the others in his dorm had gone to meet their dates about 15 minutes ago, leaving him alone and to arrive alone and late. Quickly he shot a glance at the mirror and felt surprisingly pleased with himself. He was in black, black trousers, black shirt, with a black set of tails and with his jet black hair falling over his face in its usual 'style', he thought he looked presentable. He opened the top button of his shirt partly because he was overheating and partly so he could breathe and wouldn't choke. Harry had bought himself a white bow tie, which he draped round his neck and left untied.
'Why am I even bothering?'
0000
He descended the stairs into the main entrance and shivered. Harry looked to his right and saw that the main doors were open, which seemed relatively odd. He made his way to the doors to push them closed when he saw the first sign of snow that year fall from the sky and land on ground in front of him. It began to fall faster and faster in the snow flakes almost as big as his fingernails. Harry stepped round the door and out into the snow. He stood there letting the snow touch his hair, his face and his clothes tainting them all. The cold began to get to him gradually and he had to move back inside to the warm. This however, didn't stop him from watching the snow fall to the earth for the next 10 minutes.
Harry smiled to himself as he saw the snow cover the earth like a blanket, keeping it warm and safe from harm. 'How ironic and quite an oxymoron. If only this was true and possible but unfortunately it can never be the case,' Harry thought bitterly to himself. With this thought at the front of his mind, Harry entered the Great Hall.
For the second time the night Harry was stunned and surprised. Hanging from the ceiling were white fairy lights mixing with the candles, all underneath a silver canopy that peaked in the middle of the middle of the ceiling and then hung down attached to the outer walls of the room. There was seating and tables full of food placed precisely around the room, while in the centre there was a large space for a dance floor.
Where the teachers table normally was there was a jazz band which was in full swing and a table for drinks. Harry observed it was managed by Snape who looked as if he'd rather die and McGonagall who obviously thought any student who touched the alcoholic punch was a spawn of Satan. The Great Hall was full of laughter and merriment, Hermione had obviously made it a great success. Harry saw the first few couples tentatively move out onto the dance floor and begin to move round the space, some elegantly, others definitely not so elegant.
Harry went and retrieved himself a drink, which provoked a surprised but knowing look between Snape and McGonagall. He went and stood to the side of the dance floor and placed the drink on an empty table, watching the dancers. The crowd ahead of him parted as they moved their separate ways, some for drinks others to dance, which provided him with a scene he did not want to see.
Draco Malfoy, all in black, creating a stir wherever he looked or moved to. The girls swooned and the guys looked on with pea green jealousy. Then with him was a very gleeful Pansy Parkinson, which made matters five million times worse as she was lapping up the attention she was receiving for having gained Malfoy as her date. Harry thought her choice of wear was disgusting, it made him want to puke. Her dress, if you could call it that, was very short, very pink and repulsively sparkly adorned with a rather large purple flower attached to the front. Harry was pleased Malfoy was looking everywhere except at Pansy to avert his eyes from such a hideous thing. As Malfoy continued to look round the room, Harry thought that he may actually be searching for someone while averting his eyes.
A couple moved from in between Harry and Malfoy leaving the gap between them completely empty and that was when it was evident to Harry that Malfoy had found who he was looking for. Malfoy had been searching for him. As soon as they made eye contact – silver and green, Malfoy began to close the space between them as he moved towards Harry with a definite purpose.
Harry then decided this was the time to put his plan into action, he had been here long enough. Harry made a quick and silent exit from the Great Hall, very much like his entrance and he didn't look back.
0000
Well here's the end of this chapter, hope it was worth the wait and not too boring for you all. The song was 'By Myself' by Linkin Park - I thought was very appropriate. Well that's that from me for now on this fic. I will do my best to try and get another chapter up asap, I won't promise anything cos I know I won't keep it. Sorry but it's the truth, love to you all. Please review, I do love reading them. And thank you to all my reviewers so far, love you all! Lelimo