Quick Author's note before I get back to sharing. I just want to think the people who favorite and follow it was really hard for me to get back to this story but then I saw how many people have favorite and follow and it encourage me to get back into it. I have a big plan for the ending but the beginning without Pacey and Joey being together is a little harder to write than how I had it in my head. So please be patient in me and don't give up on me. With my grammer I do my best but I am mostly looking reviews based off the idea of the story if you don't like don't discouraged me. Follow and favorite so you know when I post. Thank you and enjoy!
No, you know what, Uncle Phil? I'm gonna get through college without him, I'm gonna get a great job without him, I'm gonna marry me a beautiful honey, and I'm-a have me a whole bunch of kids. I'll be a better father than he *ever* was. And I sure as hell don't need him for that, 'cause there ain't a *damn* thing he can ever teach me about how to love my kids! - Will Smith The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
August 16,2001
When Pacey was six he was hit for the first time with a beer bottle. He can still remember it clear as day. His Dad was drunk and Pacey of course, did something John Witter didn't like which cause him to throw the beer bottle at his cheek.
He remembered the day after that because his teacher asked him what happened and Pacey being scared to death his Dad would do it again decided to tell her he fell when he was getting a plate out of the cabinet.
The teacher of course call to see if this was true, and when Pacey got home he wished he had never said anything. He got slapped across the face and for a very long time that's how his life was.
Sometimes he wished his Dad would get hurt on the way home, not kill or randomly dies but he wished for a little while his Dad felt his pain.
Now, at eighteen Pacey sat in the hospital waiting room, waiting for his Dad to wake up. His mom was across the room crying while Doug and Gretchen sat on either side of him. They all had been there since five o'clock yesterday and there was barely any news of his Dad.
Joey then walked in and slowly made her way around the corner. She gulped as she saw Pacey's family but she should make sure Pacey is ok. After all that was the right thing to do. But her mind was just buried with the thoughts of what Pacey's parents said to her.
Joey slowly walked over to Gretchen and Doug who smiled at her while Pacey's feet were tapping and he was watching television. Gretchen elbow him and Pacey looked up to see Joey there.
He smiled slowly at her, he knew she had a job interview today and she said she was going to unpack today as well. They unpack most of their things at the apartment till Pacey's Dad had a heart attack.
"Hey, Jo." He whispered as he stood up for her to sit down however Joey shook her head because she could see Pacey's mom glaring at her from the other side of the room.
She knew all of them had been sitting there since last night so she smiled at Pacey as she gave him a quick hug.
"Hi." Joey whispered nervously. "I was wondering if you want to grab breakfast at the cafeteria, you know just to get out of the waiting room." Joey whispered as she nervously glance over at Mary who was glaring at her. Pacey noticed his mom and nodded his head and then he shook his head at his mom to stop.
"I'm sorry," he said as the two walked to the cafeteria. Joey looked over at him a little confused on why he was saying sorry to her.
"Why are you sorry?" Joey said as she grabbed a cup of orange juice and a pancake. Her morning sickness has die down but the smell of eggs and even bacon was making her nauseous again. Pancakes and orange juice was her safest bet.
"I mean my family was an ass to you and yet you still came over here to the hospital. And my mom still glared at you..."
Joey turned her head to look at him and shrugged.
"I know what it is like to fear over losing a family member and I just… I just don't think you should be alone, Pacey."
Pacey grinned softly at her as they moved up in the line
"So how are you doing?" Joey asked after a moment of silence and then Pacey smiled at her.
"I'm fine." He said as he pay for their meals.
The two then sat down at a table and for a moment it was very quiet. The two only really spoke every so often, and even then it was only because they had to about the apartment or future plans with the baby.
"So, your job interview is today?" Pacey asked as Joey picked at her food.
"Yeah, I am kind of nervous." Joey whispered.
"You will do great." Pacey said. He out of habit took her hand and held it for a second til he then saw Doug coming into the cafeteria.
"Pace, he is up." Doug said as he walked over to them. "He asked for you." He added with bitterness in his voice.
"I have to go, anyway. Promise me you will keep me updated?" Joey asked as she stood up.
"Yeah." Pacey said as Joey gave him a side hug and a small wave at Doug who smiled at Joey.
Joey walked into the small restaurant in Boston as she felt her hands shaking. Jesus what was wrong with her? She felt worry to the point where she felt sick.
She then saw Flora working and Joey suddenly started to feel better. Finally someone she knows.
Joey walked over to a man with tan skin and brown hair.
"Hi," Joey said as she walked over to him.
"Hey," He said, not even looking at her. Joey stared at him for a few seconds, he was around her age. Maybe a little older, he looked annoyed as if her talking to him somehow disturbed him.
"I'm Joey Potter. I'm here for my interview."
The young man once again didn't look back at her as he pointed towards the back of the restaurant at a woman.
"Jasmine is the owner." He said and then looked at her. "I'm just a worker. You need to go back there."
Joey gave him a glare as she thank him and went to Jasmine. She already felt like working with him was going to be terrible but then again it was restaurant. People were always rude to her, no matter if they are a customer or not.
She went to the back of the restaurant and stood there for a moment. Now was her chance to run but then she reminded herself she needed the money.
"Excuse me?" Joey said and then she saw her; the same pregnant woman from the hospital the one who made her and Pacey take care of her daughter for a moment.
"Yes?" The pregnant woman said as she turned around.
"I'm here for my job interview."
Jasmine nodded her head and smiled. "You are that woman from the hospital, right?"
Joey nervously nodded her head, scared that they wouldn't want someone pregnant to work there.
"Yes."
"How far along are you?"
"Almost 16 weeks."
"Follow me." Jasmine said as she led the two inside an office and Jasmine sat down in her office chair.
"You said in your application you were seventeen?"
"Yes, I turn eighteen in a couple weeks." Joey said as she sat down in front of the woman. "Is that a problem?"
"No, you have plenty of experience. Most people don't have that, you had an family restaurant growing up. You worked for years, you had an BB and another job your senior year. You showed me how good you are with others at the hospital."
"We are low on staff and from the resume, I assure you, you can work here soon… But Joey let me ask you, what is your plan after the baby is born with work or even before?"
"I plan on taking time after the baby is born and I plan on working as much as I can while pregnant."
Jasmine raised her eyebrow. "And you are sure you can handle that, because Joey it doesn't get easier."
Joey smiled at the woman. "I just want to make as much money while I am pregnant."
Jasmine smiled as she wrote something down.
"Can you come in next Wednesday? We can start with every Wednesday Thursday and Saturday." Jasmine said as she looked up to see Joey nodding her head.
"That's perfect." Joey said.
"Alright we will see you then. Have Toby up there, show you around. I have to go pick my daughter up from daycare. My husband is out of town, again." Jasmine said.
Joey nervously walk out the room to Toby who was still looking down.
"Excuse me…" She said as she folded her arms. Only silence was followed behind her words.
"Toby?" She called and that's when he looked up. He had light blue eyes and thick eyebrows. He was definitely the man that most ladies would fall for. But he had this scowl on his face that made him somehow seem unattractive.
"Yes?" He said as he raise his eyebrow at her.
"Jasmine said to tell you to give me a tour." Joey said in a firm tone.
Toby sighed as he wave his hand over for her to follow him.
"And your name is?" He asked her.
"Joey." She said as he shook her hand. He smiled at her, his smile was big and his teeth were definitely white.
"Well, over here we have the kitchen, the orders will be place right here. It's super busy so a lot of time it will seem piled up. From right here, you can see who is annoyed. Like that lady over there looks annoyed by not getting her check. A woman over there has been fighting with her husband the whole time she has been here. It helps sometimes to stand here so you know who to rush to."
Joey chuckle a little as he led her to the bathrooms.
"Bathrooms are right over there and supplies to clean up and the supplies are mostly in the storage closet. That's it nothing else for you to really know.
Toby then led her to the table he was at before.
"I was trying to get this book due for my class in a couple weeks, I apologize if I seem like I didn't care to help you but in other way that's exactly how I felt."
Joey laughed because this is how she had always been at the Yacht club and the Icehouse.
"No I get it, that's how I always was when I was in high school."
"And now you are in?" Toby asked.
"College in a few weeks, I'm going to Worthington."
"Same here."
Before the two could say anything else, Joey's phone started to ring and she saw it was Pacey. Guilt started rising in as she thought about how badly this phone call could go.
"Excuse me."
Pacey walked into the hospital room to see his Dad's face looking very pale. He somehow look peaceful but sick all at once. He had breathing tubes coming up his nose.
"Hey, Doug said you wanted to see me?"
"Yeah sit down." John said as he tried to sit up.
"I um, I wanted to apologize to you."
Pacey could feel his face wrinkle as he tried not to laugh.
"I have been an ass to you and Joey but especially you. Your whole life I had been. Nothing but terrible to you. I apologize for that. You don't have to forgive me but um,"
John then started to cough to the point where he couldn't breathe. He finally caught his breath.
"When Joey called me a dick, it woke me up. Then last night after my heart attack it made me realize how much I don't want to leave here without apologizing in some way. Um, Pacey they found what was wrong with me and the surgery has a very small chance of working. I am just going to let it pass and then take it from there."
"What do you have?"
"An enlarged heart, it's a Heart Failure. I could put myself through chemotherapy or whatever else… But they only gave me a few weeks or a year. I don't… they said if I have another heart stroke like I did last night. I could die. But listen, Pacey you aren't going to work at a fast food place for the rest of your life or whatever I may have said. And you are going to be a good Father."
"Dad…" Pacey said as he shook his head
"I mean it Pacey. You are the man, and if you want to be a cook go ahead. I am not going to say anything. I will not waste my time anymore telling you how to live your life. But I do ask you to do something for me."
"What's that?"
"Can you get Joey for me?"
Joey picked up her phone. She could feel her hands shaking from being scared of what Pacey is going to say.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Jo. Well, I um, I got some news and I'm not sure if it is good or if it is bad."
Joey gulped but then turned to the door with a wave to Toby.
"Is everything ok with your Dad?"
"Yes and no, you see he uh. He um, he has cancer and they gave him a certain amount of time but he wants to talk to you?"
"To me?!" Joey practically screamed through the phone.
"My reaction was about the same as yours Potter. I don't what drugs he is on but You don't have to come-"
"I'm coming." Joey said as she started to race to her truck.
When Joey got there she felt as if someone had been stabbing her and the knife is just simply stuck in her body. She took a breath as she walked towards Pacey who was waiting for her. She needed to be calm not for herself but for Pacey.
"He is in there. If he says anything stupid all we need to do is just walk out. They must have jacked him up with so weird medicine or he is going to say something that you don't want to hear because that's what he does best. You seen how my family is, Joey. This could go so many different ways-"
Joey grabbed Pacey's hand and gave him a sheepish smile. "Pace. It's ok. I can handle him. I mean I already called him a dick once. That's one of the many reasons why your mother hates me at the moment."
Pacey nodded and then walked her into his Dad's room.
She saw John with breathing tubes out his nose and his eyes closed. He looked lifeless. If Pacey didn't mentioned earlier that John was waiting on her, she would have thought he was dead.
Joey walked towards John as he slowly open his eyes and started to let out a deep cough. He didn't look great, in fact he looked terrible.
"Joey. I'm glad you are here. There is something I want to say to you and Pacey." John started to say but then let out another big cough.
Pacey felt like he was going to roll his eyes but he watched as Joey walked over to him and sat down. She was so understanding after what an asshole his Dad was to the two of them which was weird because normally she wouldn't allow people to act like this.
"I uh… I wanted to apologize to the both of you. You are going to be great parents better than what I ever was. You see raising kids sounds easy. I mean what harm could it be? You feed them, bathe them, watch them grow, pay for whatever they need. You know little things. But nobody warned me about the emotions behind it. Nobody warned me that being a parent you have to emotionally attach to them. Pacey, you out of all people should know I am terrible at my emotions. And you know.. I uh I'm sorry about everything I have … done to both of you especially you Pace. I tried to be this big man but the truth is you are going to make a good Dad and you will be a better man than I ever was."
Pacey stood there in shock for a minute. Maybe his Dad didn't mean it. This was John Witter after all it was the man who had beat him, screamed at him, embarrassed him, and made him feel like he was never good enough. Now he was standing right here as he watched and listened to his father apologize to him. He must be really sick in order for him to apologize to him.
"Uh… It's ok, Pop. I appreciate you saying that." Pacey said as he uncomfortably shift his feet.
Joey looked up at Pacey and smiled. She knew it meant a lot that his Dad said that to him even if Pacey would never accept his apologies there was something about the way he look when he listen to his father.
"Anyway, I blame your mother for the heart attack part. She got herself this new cookbook Bacon makes world go round." John said as he let out a small weak laugh.
"I guess that's not the worst concept I ever heard of." Pacey said as his father gave him a look.
"It is when the bacon goes on top of the apple crisp."
Joey let a small chuckle. She was starting to feel uncomfortable but she told herself she had to stay for Pacey.
"Thanks for coming, Joey. Knowing my wife she probably gave you a lot of looks when you came a few minutes ago."
"Actually, I came when I heard this morning for Pacey. But you are right-"
"She always gives these looks like she thinks nobody is looking or something." John said as he imitated a look to Pacey and Joey.
Joey laughed as Pacey shook his head at his Dad he must have felt a little better if he was joking around about his wife. Suddenly a knock on the door came in a nurse came in.
"All right Mr. Witter we are going to run some more tests on you now that you're up."
Joey got up from her chair and quietly walked over to Pacey.
"All right Pop. I will see you soon."
"Yeah." John said as the nurse got ready to draw his blood. Pacey started to walk the door when John stopped him.
"Hey,Pace."
"Yeah?" Pacey says he turned around.
"I'm really proud of the man that you are becoming. I'm proud of you son."
Even if his dad was on drugs something in the this moment may Pacey want to cry ugly tears.
"Thanks, Pop." Pacey said and then Joey and him walked out the room.
Later that night, Pacey was getting ready to go to bed when he softly heard a knock on his door. It was the first real night of sleeping over at the apartment and knowing Joey was sleeping a couple doors down made him extremely nervous.
When he opened his door, he was surprised to see Joey standing outside his door. She had his attention that's for sure. She was only wearing a long T-shirt with her chocolate hair up in a messy bun.
"Hey." He whispered and then he saw the tear rolling down her eyes. Without a word he pulled her into a hug. "What's wrong?"
"All this topic of being sick… I guess it's just really mess with my emotions today."
Pacey let a small chuckle as he held her there for a moment not really for her sake but for his. He needed her even if it was for a moment longer than necessary.
"Do you think… do you think I can stay with you, tonight?"
"Yeah, sure."
It was quiet as the two went into bed, Joey's back was faced away from him as Pacey stared up at the ceiling.
"Hey, Jo?"
"Yeah?"
"Today was the first day my Dad ever said he was proud of me."
Joey then turned her body towards him and watched as Pacey took a deep breath.
"For years my Dad has verbally and physically abuse me, and today I listened as he apologize to not only to me once but twice and then to you about everything. And then he tells me he is proud of me. I don't get it, Joey. I don't get how he can just so calmly say those words to me."
"Maybe you aren't supposed to get it, Pace. Maybe the universe doesn't want you to get it." Joey said as she watched his eyebrows furrow together. "I mean you don't have to forgive him whether he dies or not. He of course wants you to but you have that decision to make whether you want to or not.
You can remember all of the bad things that your family has done for the rest of your life. But what would that even do to your mindset Pacey? Would you still beat yourself up like your father does with his words but instead of being his…it's yours. Because holding onto those words that he had said will only make your life harder, and you have a choice to let go of it."
"But what if I can't?"
"Well then it's going to be a hard life, Pacey."
The two were quiet for a moment as Joey studied Pacey's reaction to all of this.
"When my mom got sick again and I found out my Dad was sleeping with the waitress I thought I would never forgive him. I still have that stupid letter of me telling him I'm pregnant. It's not easy, Pacey. One minute you think about all the reasons to hate them and never speak to them again… and then they are gone. You can't tell them off, you can't let them know how pissed off you are at them for whatever they did or the fact that they are gone.
If he is gone tomorrow, or in a week. Just know that those words I'm proud of you, son. Will be his last words to you. If he lives and you and him talk again don't let him control your emotions. Easier said than done, I know. But maybe just maybe, he is changing."
"Maybe you are right…" Pacey said as he turned his body to her. "You haven't told your Dad about the pregnancy?"
Joey shook her head. "I was waiting til I couldn't throw up all over him, but now that I'm better. I still don't really want to tell him. Is that wrong?"
"Like you said one day they will be gone and the last words will be your last but what if they aren't. What if it turns out the way you least expect it, Joey? It's not wrong to feel what you once felt years ago."
It was quiet for a second as Joey picked at a loose string on a blanket. "I got a job today with that lady from the hospital."
"You did?" Pacey asked surprised.
"Yeah, I mean until the baby is born…"
Pacey looked up into her eyes and gulped a little. Every time they brought up the baby it just felt weird.
"I think your Dad was right about you being a good Dad. I mean you always been amazing with kids. But I guess it is different when it's your kid."
"You think so?"
Joey wanted to say that's one of the reasons I fell in love with you. But she knew it would be wrong to say that so instead the words that came out of her mouth were.
"Yeah I do but I need to um, go to sleep. So goodnight."
Pacey watched as she turned her body away from him and suddenly wished he could pull her close to him. But instead he pulled a pillow close and fell asleep.
August 19,2001
First step of grief is denial
He was dead. His father was gone. Pacey suddenly didn't know what to feel. He didn't feel angry, or glad over the death but he simply felt numb…
Pacey went into his apartment with a box of things his mom gave him. He didn't want to see what once killed him on the inside.
He got the call five hours ago and by the time he went to the Witter house every one of his siblings was there. Even his oldest sister Elizabeth was there for support.
Elizabeth is thirty-nine she moved out well before he was even born. He only met her on rare events but she only never came home because of how his Dad treated her. She still call their mom ever so often but he knew the day his Pop died was the day she would come back home.
When he got to the house he knew he had lost his Dad at eighteen. He thought about what Joey said to him You can't tell them off, you can't let them know how pissed off you are at them for whatever they did or the fact that they are gone.
Suddenly he got what she meant. The emptiness he was feeling inside made it hard to focus, made it hard to think. The fact for years he wished his Dad would die but now he was dead.
He went to his room to find a note on his bed that said Let your thoughts run free now. -Jo
He didn't really know what that meant. Wasn't she the one who reminded him to not let it get the best of him?
Pacey shut his door and then got in bed. After a long day of deciding what to do with his Dad which was now to bury him in a casket. He knew it was going to be a long day with his family during the funeral on Tuesday and he probably should have stayed with his family. But two days in the madness of his house would drive anyone insane.
He closed his eyes slowly as he took a pillow and hugged it. He felt lonely, he felt terrible. The more his eyes closed the less he thought and the more that he allowed himself to sleep.
August 20,2001
Pacey looked at the casket that was now buried into the ground. He felt Joey and Gretchen's hand holding his but he felt the same he been feeling for a couple days which was nothing. A lot of people had been walking up to him telling him how great his Dad was but John Witter was never a good man to Pacey. He was a great man to those in their community but to his family he was a toxic person.
Now was his turn to speak and Pacey didn't even know what to say. He thought about the last words, and as much as Pacey hated it he had to be kind in front of everyone if not for his family's sake, for his own.
Pacey walked up to the podium without a word and nervously started to speak.
"Uh, Pop was a… good man to his community. He knew what responsibilities were and he took it as his own. He always try to do right by Capeside and I know my brother Doug will do a good job in taking his place. At home… he was something else. He had very high… expectations for his family that sometimes were hard for us to meet. But the last words that were spoken to me from him were I'm proud of you, son. I had never heard him say that before. I don't think any of us really had but I am glad that is the last words I heard from him because if it was another sentence I don't think I would say the words I would say today. But we will miss him in a lot of ways."
Pacey then walked over to the shovel to dig his Dad with the dirt. He felt the mix of anger and sadness but mostly just felt numb throughout it all.
At the dinner that the town threw for the memorial, Pacey started to shut his feelings out. He shook everyone's hand but really just wanted to scream inside. It was in a church down in town hall but really Pacey felt like this bastard didn't need to be celebrated in a church. However he shut down the feelings even when he reach his friends at the table.
Dawson was laughing at something Jen had said as Joey watched Pacey walk over. The black dress she was wearing showed a little bit of her belly it wasn't a lot but for the first time he could kind of see it. He of course wouldn't say anything but he was more stunned that it was there.
"Hey," Pacey said as he sat down next to Dawson and Joey. "If I have to shake one more hand I think I will be the next one buried." Pacey whispered as he could see Joey giving him a look while Gretchen nodded her head who was sitting across from him.
"It's almost over,Pacey." Jen reminded him.
"When Tim died it felt like a chore more than a memorial. Like I am so sorry about your brother. I would go I am too." Jack said.
Joey softly rubbed Pacey's back which secretly made him feel worse than better.
He knew now he had to be the change no matter how hard life got because he had a baby on the way.
In January, he will have to do a better job at taking care of his son or daughter. He will treat it with the respect and the love he never got. He just had to get past this day in order to get there.