"There's nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you finally see what goes on underwater, you realize that you've been missing the whole point of the ocean. Staying on the surface all the time is like going to the circus and staring at the outside of the tent."― Dave Barry
November 24, 2006
Pacey woke up with a loud bang through the apartment he groaned as he rubbed his eyes but as he shortly remembered Daisy was with him. He shot up as he felt her cuddle against him. Her toes were right in front of his face as the rest of her body was on the other side of the bed with her mouth softly out.
He laughed at this as he gently pulled her feet out of his face hoping to not wake her up. Then got up to see what the loud bang was. As he walked into the kitchen he saw a coffee cup scattered on the floor with Jack trying to pick up the broken pieces. Pacey sighed as he picked up a broom hoping it would be clean by the time Daisy woke up.
"Geez…" Pacey said as he bent down to pick the glass pieces up.
"Sorry for waking you up."
"I'm just glad Daisy didn't wake up and step on the glass."
Jack winced clearly thinking about that situation and not liking it. But right when he looked like he was going to apologize over the broken glass. Daisy walked out with her Cinderella PJs and her hair a wreck.
"Sorry" Jack mouthed to Pacey who quickly went over to Daisy who was standing out of the doorway.
"Hey, baby." He said as he watched his daughter's blue eyes sleepily starting in the distance. He pushed her hair off her face. Daisy looked just like Joey but with his eyes. She had her nose, her smile, and her chin. But she had Pacey's eyes and curly brown hair that was always a mess no matter how many times he brushed it. Joey could get it perfect but Pacey will always struggle with it.
But not only did she have the perfect combination of Pacey and Joey but she had the personality to go with it. She was stubborn just like Joey but she was wild just like Pacey. She wasn't a morning person just like Pacey. And she was always challenging someone with her words just like Joey does.
Daisy softly rubbed the beard Pacey had been growing for the past couple of months. Daisy and Joey hated it but really he didn't want to shave it back off and the reason he didn't really know. He kind of felt like he was lucky with how everything was going since he started growing it. He got a new job and he wasn't ready to lose that feeling of achievement.
"What happened?" She asked as she stared at Jack.
"Jackers was clumsy and dropped his coffee cup."
"Which is now cleaned," Jack said as he threw the glass pieces away and put the dustpan away. Daisy gave Jake a silly smile as he held up his hands for her to hug him. She ran to him and hugged him.
"There is my hug!" Jack said as he spun her around and put her on the ground. She grinned at Pacey who was patiently waiting for his hug. Daisy smiled at her Dad as he still waited. She ran to him and jumped into his arms. "Oh, wow. That's a big one." He said.
"Daddy when is mommy coming?" Daisy asked. Pacey looked at the clock in the kitchen to see it was almost time for Joey to come. She was going to be here in ten minutes.
"Uh well in ten minutes," Pacey said as he put her on her shoulders and he heard the giggles from above him. He got her and himself dressed and put two pig tales in Daisy's hair. Daisy wasn't in kindergarten yet but she did go to pre-k twice a week. Pacey would take her when she goes but when she didn't go she would spend the day with Joey.
A knock on the door told Pacey that Joey was here. He sighed as he watched Daisy run out of the bathroom and to the front door to meet Joey.
"Daisy, don't run in the apartment," Pacey called as he grabbed her bag and her shoes and quickly raced off her to make sure she didn't fall over. Pacey never knew why he was so protected over Daisy; he guessed it was because he still viewed her as his baby girl. He didn't know when that would change if it ever will.
He slowed down and saw Daisy in Joey's arms as Joey kissed Daisy multiple times as the little girl was laughing hysterically.
That was when Pacey saw it. The red puffy eyes that Joey had. He frowned as their eyes met and she put Daisy down and rubbed her fingers through her hair. She gave Pacey a weak smile as she took the princess bag and shoes from his hands.
"You alright?" He asked in a careful tone.
"Yeah, I'm just well… It's been a long night." She whispered and then bent down to put Daisy's shoes on for her.
Ever since Joey had moved on with Dawson, Pacey did his best to stay out of her business. He didn't ask questions when Joey and Dawson moved in together or when Joey looked like she had been crying or when she looked a little too happy in the morning it wasn't his business to know. His business to know was when Joey came to pick Daisy up after night school that Daisy was going home to a safe environment.
He knew that it wasn't his business and they weren't in the type of relationship to ask and tell. When Pacey and Audrey got together. Joey knew but she smiled at him and said nothing. She also said nothing when the two broke up three months later. Pacey was grateful for that because he wasn't ready to talk about why they broke up because the reason was Joey. He loved Joey and Audrey knew that and quite frankly wasn't very happy about it. But the more time went, the less painful it was for him to see Joey and he knew that one day there would be someone else just like how Joey found her someone else.
But this morning Joey's eyes were tired and looked as if she had been crying all morning. He watched as Daisy told Joey about Jack breaking a coffee cup. Joey glanced at Jack who was on the couch and was looking very embarrassed that his mess from this morning was exposed to someone outside of this apartment. Pacey tried to hide his laugh as Daisy grinned at Jack knowing he didn't like it.
"Alright well give Daddy a hug and then we gotta get going."
Daisy nodded and then jumped into Pacey's arms who made a fake groan to make her laugh. Pacey held Daisy tightly as he knew his office job was going to be a lot of work. Audrey got him this job a couple of months ago after he quit the cooking job since his boss Danny had left and the new boss Alex wasn't really the best at her job. He grew close to a lot of the workers there and although Audrey and Pacey weren't dating she would do almost anything for him since they ended on good terms. So, Audrey called her Dad and Pacey went for an interview and got the job. Of course, marketing wasn't his thing and he missed cooking but it gave him something to do when Daisy wasn't there with him.
Daisy put her head on her Dad's shoulder and Pacey kissed her head. He loved these types of hugs. It was one of those hugs that made him never want to let go and hold on to her all day.
Daisy looked up at Pacey, kissed his cheek and he let her down. "Bye, baby girl. I love you."
"I love you too!" Daisy said as she held Joey's hand.
"Bye Daisy!" Jack called from the kitchen.
"Bye Jackers!" Daisy said and blew kisses with her hands to Jack and Pacey. Who of course couldn't let the four-year-old down and blew kisses back.
And just like that Daisy and Joey were gone and the emptiness he felt was once again there when he wasn't with his daughter. She had filled the hole in his heart and every time she was gone the hole reformed back to the hole.
Joey walks back to her apartment after a long night of work and classes to find her whole world completely messed with. She got off earlier than normal about an hour earlier. She had planned to cook herself breakfast and maybe take a shower if she had time. She knew Dawson was home for the week and so she was excited to hang out with him.
Ever since Dawson and Joey decided to move in together after a year of being together. Dawson would still go down to film school during the weekdays and come on Friday to spend the weekend with Joey and Daisy. Then when he graduated he spent less time in LA and more time in Boston. That was until a couple of months ago, he started to direct a new movie with Tom and he spend more time in LA. He would skip the weekend visit and would be more bitter to Joey. The silence between them two got more and more comfortable and the more time they spent apart the more Joey seemed to not mind the short phone calls, or the time apart from one another because it started to become more of a habit than anything else.
But little did Joey know that the whole time she became comfortable and content with herself. The more time Dawson became happy with late nights with Natasha Kelly and the more he felt his life grew with her the less he wanted a life with Joey. And this surprise visit on a Monday morning as Dawson waited for Joey to come home with or without Daisy. Joey was about to receive news that was going to change her whole world.
Joey walked into her apartment with a coffee cup in her hand and started to turn on the lights to find Dawson sitting there at the kitchen table with his hands folded and his bags on the floor.
Joey jumped in surprise and nervously laughed as she saw him there. "Dawson, you scared me. I didn't know you were going to be here."
She walked closer to see an envelope and a key beside it. She looked at the floor to see not just one bag but multiple bags. Bags that look as if they can hold all of his belongings.
"What is going on?" She said as she looked at his expression which was bitter and guilty. He rubbed his hands on his forehead and quietly said. "I am in love with someone else."
Joey blinked at him and felt tears coming up through her eyes. She barely heard Dawson as he explained what happened. He and Natasha met a year ago and had a hookup after drinking too much. He thought she was a one-night stand but then the two continued seeing one another to hook up. A few months ago it had stopped but then he realized he loved her. When he went to tell her, a month ago he had found out she was pregnant and it was with his child. He kept thinking he was going to tell Joey but he didn't know how and it hurt to figure out a way since he loved Joey and even Daisy. He didn't want to ruin what they had.
Joey looked up at that last part. She felt more tears coming down her face as she shook her head at him. "You don't love me."
"Yes I do, Joey," Dawson said to her. "I love you so much-"
"No, if you loved me you wouldn't be sleeping with another woman for the past year, Dawson."
Before Dawson could say anything Joey went to the bathroom and locked herself in the door.
"Joey, come on. We need to be mature about this."
Joey was quiet as she slid her back on the door. She put her hands on her face as she waited for him to leave.
"Joey, please let's not end it like this."
"Go…" Joey whispered and she could hear a thump on the door.
"I left money on the table along with my key. Joey, I will always love you so much. You are my best friend and I hope you know that just because I love someone else doesn't mean I can't love you too." Dawson whispered. Joey opened the door and gave Dawson a look. She felt anger throughout her as she grabbed his bags and threw them out of the apartment.
"I said Go," She yelled and took his money envelope and threw it out of the door as well. "Joey come on."
"No, stop. Please. I don't want to see you for a very very long time." Joey yelled and pushed him out the door and before he could use his words against her. She slammed the door and ran to the couch to cry.
When she got home with Daisy, she felt numb to her pain. She did everything she normally would do but in a way it was different. She let Daisy eat cereal in front of the television as she lay on the couch. She felt her tears come down but Daisy never noticed. Joey kept replaying the conversation in her head. He loves someone else. It was that simple to move on for him.
She remembered when she was first told Audrey and Pacey were dating that she felt her whole heart stopped for a few minutes. But she had to remind herself that she was the one who walked away. She was the one who told him they couldn't get together after Daisy was born. She was the one who chose to move out and run away when her feelings became too much. How could she possibly be mad when she chose Dawson to be rather than be with Pacey.
Now, she knew it was wrong to go for Dawson. He came back into her life, somehow swept her off her feet away, helped her raise Daisy when needed, and yet he still left. He still loves someone else. She didn't know who Natasha was or what made her better than Joey. But Joey suddenly felt her whole life go out of order. She realized it has been like that for a long time. That for the past few months, she had been dealing with her crappy professor's daughter, Harley again only because he refused to change her grade from a C to B and she wasn't happy about it. She at first thought that the kid was about five but then she only turned out to be fourteen with a sassy attitude.
But she got paid fifty dollars an hour so who was she complaining to and even now the kid wasn't so bad. She was really sweet, just a little challenging sometimes. She noticed lately she had her boyfriend Paul over and that caused some problems with sneaking around. He hasn't come over that much but once in a while, she would see him in her bedroom.
Sometimes, Joey would have to bring Daisy when Pacey spent overtime in the office on a Friday night but most of the time Pacey would take Daisy for the night, and then Joey would get her in the morning.
But now as Joey looked at her life she felt as if she was failing her. She felt as if she couldn't do it anymore. The more Joey laid on the couch crying over the boy who always ended up hurting her. The more Joey felt like she was failing at giving Daisy the life she deserved.
When Pacey was about to knock on Joey's apartment door to come to get Daisy. He saw an envelope on the ground with a bunch of money in there. He looked around and then peaked more inside to see a note in Dawson's handwriting.
Joey,Please take this and use it. I know I messed up but I need you to do this.Love,Dawson
Pacey put the note back in the envelope as he then knocked on the door. He normally was greeted by his daughter but to his surprise, he was met with Joey who had a messy bun and a tank top on without a bra on. She looked exhausted when she looked at him and she gave a fake smile at him.
"She is almost done, she is eating her dinner," Joey said.
He pulled her on her arm before she could turn away so he could look at her. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong now?" He gently asked which caused Joey to cry even harder than she normally would. Daisy looked up with concern from her mother's sobs but the nod from Pacey. She knew she could go to her rather than watch this.
He pulled away and softly wiped her eyes as she looked at him. He smiled at her which caused her to smile back but not the smile he was used to.
"What happened?" He whispered.
"He moved on, he got another woman pregnant." She whispered. Pacey then shut the door as his mouth was wide open.
"He did not," Pacey said, suddenly getting mad. He felt the anger bubble that was in him that he had forgotten that was there. Dawson literally took everything that Pacey once dreamt about Joey, his daughter, and the love that could build a family to just destroy it all.
Joey nodded her head as he pulled her in a hug again. He softly kissed her on her head as he rubbed her back. As he thought about the first time he held her on the dock when Dawson broke her heart and Dawson told her not to leave alone. But now this was different, the two had a kid and they were co-parenting at twenty-two and they were standing there as she cried over the same boy that she did at sixteen. He didn't know when this was going to change or if it was ever well. But he did know one thing that he has known since forever that he was going to hold her till it didn't hurt anymore.