A/N: Here it is finally! I had the worst writer's block with this chapter. So I apologize for the delay. I hope you all like it. Don't forget to let me know what you think! Thank you to everyone that has reviewed!

Chapter 4

At the sound of the door being opened five pair of eyes shot up towards the sound. She stepped through the door and set Abby down by the door. She didn't say anything; she just let her presence speak for her. Everyone except the captain went white and gasped.

Alex was the first to recover. She stood up and walked over to Olivia. She raised her hand to Olivia's face as if to verify that she was really there and she wasn't dreaming. When she verified for a fact that Olivia indeed was real and not a ghost she grabbed her and gave her a bear hug and burst into tears. "It's so good to see you. I can't believe you're really here. But then again who am I to talk, right?"

Up until this point Olivia it hadn't realized just how much she'd missed her friends. There really was no place like home. "It's good to see you too, Alex. I'm glad you're home." She choked out with tears streaming down her face. She hated people seeing her cry but right now she really didn't care at the moment. Besides it didn't count when you best friends were crying too, right?

By this time the others had come out of their state of shock. Casey screamed and then with tears running down her face ran to hug Olivia as Alex stepped back. Somewhere behind her she thought she heard Fin mutter "Holy shit." She then heard Munch state "I should have known she wasn't dead." She glanced up over Casey's shoulder and saw Fin and Munch standing back with looks of disbelief and shock on their faces. She could see that the usually stoic, tough-as-nails cops had tears in their eyes. They stood up and walked over to her. Both gave her bear hugs and kissed her. It was an amazing homecoming. All the fears that she had this morning were wiped away in an instant. How could she ever believe that these wonderful people wouldn't be happy to see her?

It didn't slip past her that Elliott hadn't moved since she walked in. She looked over to where he was still sitting. He was just staring at her. Before she could say anything to him Casey grabbed her hand pulled her over to the table. "Sit down. This is so...I don't even know what it is! Oh God we thought you were..."she couldn't finish the sentence, it was too painful to think about.

Olivia couldn't say the word out loud either. She just nodded. "I know. But as you now know there was a very good reason." She wiped the tears her eyes and continued. "Look I just want you guys to know that I'm so sorry for everything that..."

Munch sitting next to her took one of her hands in his and gently cut her off. "Liv, you have nothing, and I mean nothing to apologize for. None of this is your fault and no one here blames you. You did what you had to do and what you thought necessary."

Fin who was standing behind her placed his hands on her shoulders and looked down into her face and spoke. "For once I'm going to have to agree with my partner. You did what you had to do. God, the horrors that you went through! For once you thought of yourself first. You made the right call. What matters now is that you're safe and your home."

From his side of the room between to the one-way mirror and the door Cragen spoke up. "Olivia?"

She turned around in, "Yes sir?" Some habits you just can't break.

He gave her a small smile. "You forgetting about someone?" He turned his gaze down to the floor.

"Oh my goodness we totally forgot about your daughter!" Casey exclaimed, turning her eyes to the car seat that Olivia had set on the floor.

Olivia stood up and walked over and picked Abby up out of the car seat. She couldn't believe she'd forgotten about her daughter! 'Sorry baby, mommy didn't mean to forget about you. She just got caught up in the moment with her friends,' she silently apologized. Turning to the group she said "Guys meet my daughter Abigail, or Abby as I call her. She's four months old and the love of my life." Through this Abby had been sleeping. As if sensing the new attention she blinked her eyes, and woke up.

"She's gorgeous. Looks just like you." Fin observed.

Just then she let out a huge wail. Olivia looked down at her watch and figured it was about time for dinner.

"Sounds just like you too, or at least when you're mad," commented Munch

Olivia sent him a glare that would make most people squirm, but John only laughed. He knew she didn't mean it. Going to the door she opened it and picked up the diaper bag that she'd left outside. Bring it in she set it down on the table. She pulled out a bottle that had pre-measured water and a container that held pre-measured formula. She opened the formula and bottle and mixed the two one handed all the while holding Abby with her other arm.

She turned to Casey who she knew loved kids, especially babies, and had been eying Abby since Olivia had picked her up. "Here you go Case. Your first babysitting job." With that she put Abby in Casey's arms and handed her the bottle before Casey realized what happened. Abby's cries ceased as soon as the nipple was in her mouth.

"Wow, thanks." Was all Casey could utter. She stared down at the infant in her arms.

"Smooth move Liv." Alex called out with a smirk on her face.

"Hey I now have six automatic babysitters. Might as well start getting used to it." The friendly banter and joking came back without even trying. It was almost as if she had never been gone.

"Wish we could get you to calm down that fast when you're in one of your moods." Olivia threw a look to Munch that said 'stuff it.' He just laughed.

Olivia glanced over at Elliott. He still hadn't moved other then to lower his head so he was looking down at his lap. She apparently was going to have to do something to get some sort of reaction from him. She figured that he was going to be the one the most affected, she just didn't think that he would be in so much pain that he wouldn't do anything when she came back.

Slowly she walked around the table and sat down in the chair next to him. She carefully placed one of her hands on his knee and with tears in her eyes and a catch in her voice she softly called his name. "Elliott? Would you look at me, please?"

All he did was shake his head. That was something at least.

She took her other hand and brought it up to his face and put her hand on his chin and gently forced him to raise his head and look at her. With the pain that she saw there it took everything that she had not to start crying again. She did the only thing that she could think of to try to comfort him and show him that she was really there. She pulled him into her arms and held him close. It must have triggered something inside of him because she felt his shoulders start to shake and he grabbed her even tighter and began to, what she could only describe as, weep, into her shoulder.

The others, witnessing Elliott's breakdown, knew the two of them needed to be alone. Without saying word to one another they left the room. Alex and Fin grabbed the baby stuff, while Casey left with Abby who was still drinking her bottle. Munch closed the blinds and turned the microphone off and sat down outside the viewing room to make sure that no one disturbed the emotional homecoming between two special friends.

Back inside the interrogation room, oblivious to their friends' departure, Olivia held onto Elliott as he purged all of his pain, anguish, joy and relief through tears. She tried to keep her own tears at bay but she soon found it was next to impossible. She rubbed his back and offered what comfort she could by being close. No words were needed, and wouldn't be welcome should they be uttered. Slowly his sobs began to subside. After a few more minutes his tears stopped completely and after a few shaky breaths he raised his head from her shoulder.

Looking embarrassed, he stood up, tucking his hands in his pants pockets and walked away from her. She let him go, missing the warmth of the contact, but she knew he wanted a moment to compose himself. She needed one too. She wiped her own tears away. A moment later he turned back around and walked back to the chair and sat down. She gave him a warm smile. "Hi."

He reached up and gently wiped a stray tear off of her cheek and gave her a small smile. "Hi."

"Ah, so he does speak."

"You're funny Liv."

"I try."

"So...you're..."

"Yeah."

"Wow."

"Talk to me Elliott."

"I don't really know what to say. My mind isn't really able to form a coherent thought at the moment."

" I understand that, more than you know. I really do but you have to give me something." She was beginning to get frustrated.

"Geez Liv. You just show up out of the blue after being presumed dead for a year. What do you want me to say? 'How've you been' just doesn't seem that appropriate."

She closed her eyes and counted to ten. Getting into an argument was not how she envisioned her first conversation with Elliott. Maybe she was being too hard on him.

"Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. It's just you haven't said anything and you can barely look at me. I feel like you hate me. Well don't because I hate myself enough for the both of us. I hope you don't think this is easy for me because it's not. In fact it's one of the hardest things that I have ever done in my life. I can't tell you that I know exactly what you are feeling but I do know what I am feeling and I'm sure that if we compared notes we would find a whole lot of similarities. So I'll start. I missed you."

He brought his hands up to enclose hers and he leaned towards her. She saw his eyes soften and knew she was forgiven. "I'm sorry too. I could never, ever hate you and I'm sorry that you thought that I did for even a moment. There is nothing that you could ever do that would make me hate you, not even being missing and presumed dead for a year. I missed you too. More than you will ever know. I'm sorry I snapped at you. I didn't mean it, it's just this is a lot to take in at once. One minute I'm missing you with an ache the size of the Grand Canyon, and then the next you walk through the door, alive and well with a baby. You just have to give me some time to process this."

She squeezed his hands in understanding. "I'm sorry that I caused you pain. The one thing that I regret about this entire ordeal is that I caused my friends pain. I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for that. As for the time to process, take all the time you need, because honestly I'm still processing it. I didn't mean to rush you through your feelings."

"Hey, don't do that. Remember what John told you? None of this is your fault and he's right you know. So don't blame yourself. You went through hell and had your life turned upside down. You're alive and you're here now and that's all that matters."

To hear him tell her that was a balm on her heart. She decided to change the subject to help lighten the tension and she couldn't help but tease him. She let go of his hands and sat back in her seat. "Ah so you were paying attention. I wondered."

He grinned. Here was the Liv that he knew. "Smart aleck."

She smirked at him and gave him an innocent 'Who me?' look.

"So. When do I get to meet your daughter, anyway?"

For the first time Olivia looked around and realized that they were alone. She wasn't surprised. She knew her friends so she knew that'd left to give her and Elliott privacy. She also knew Abby was fine but suddenly she missed her. She stood up and headed for the door. "Come on and you can meet her now."

They passed John in the viewing room. He didn't say a word and just nodded at the pair, following them out in to the bullpen. Thankfully the only people around were her friends so Olivia didn't have to worry about being recognized. She wasn't ready for the questions and publicity that she knew would come with 'coming back from the dead.'

Walking up to the group, who were gathered around Munch and Fin's desks she saw that everyone had their attention focused on her daughter. She hadn't been back 24 hours and already she had them wrapped around her finger. Alex, currently holding Abby, noticed the trio first. "Hey guys. Everything okay?"

Olivia glanced at Elliott and answered honestly. "Not yet, but it will be. How's my baby doing?"

Alex nodded at the answer and change of subject. She understood what Olivia meant better than the others so she didn't push. "She's been an angel. Casey finished feeding her and burped her. Since then we've just been taking turns holding her. You want her back?" Alex didn't really look like she was ready to give up the infant but wasn't going to get between a protective mother and her daughter!

"Nah, but I do know someone who would like to meet her. El?" Elliott had been hanging back a few steps but at her call he stepped next to her. Alex, immediately understanding, gently placed Abby in his arms.

Elliott had held babies before. He'd had four of his own. There was something different about holding someone else's. Especially when that someone was your best friend and partner. Especially when the child belonged to Olivia. He looked down at the tiny miracle in his arms and felt a tug at his heart and fell head over heals in love. "She's beautiful."

She never got tired of hearing it and inwardly preened at the compliment but only murmured "Thanks." She didn't want her friends to think that she had an over-inflated ego when it came to her child. Though she thought it was something every mother felt.

As Elliott continued to hold Abby Casey turned to Olivia. "What are your plans now?"

Olivia ran her hand though her hair. Exhaustion was beginning to set in and in response her body reminded her. She let out a huge yawn. "Sleep."

Before Casey could ask anything else Cragen spoke up. He knew that Olivia was wrung out, physically and emotionally, and could see she was about to fall asleep on her feet. "All right everyone that's enough for tonight. It's getting late and we all have to be here in the morning. I'm sure if you ask nicely, Olivia could be persuaded to come back tomorrow. So go home!"

Casey, Alex, Fin and Munch gathered their stuff, hugged and kissed Olivia and of course Abby, and filed out. Cragen left a few minutes later.

"Look Elliott, as much as I know you want to hold Abby all night, I've got to get her packed up and someplace to stay tonight. I know we have a million things to talk about but could they wait? I'm beat and would really like to get out of here." Cragen had told her that her apartment had been rented to someone else and that they guys had put her stuff in storage for. They hadn't been able to get rid of it not know for sure if she was dead. Thankfully they'd held on to it but none of it was going to do her any good for tonight.

"Why don't you stay with me? There's plenty of room and it would be more comfortable than a hotel. In the morning I can bring you back here." He buckled Abby in to her seat as he spoke.

She was grateful but didn't want to intrude. "Are you sure? Abby will be up at least two more times. I don't want to disturb you."

"If I didn't want you there then I wouldn't have offered and you won't disturb me. I raised four children, two at once, remember? I'll be fine."

Knowing that he was right and that it did make more sense she relented. "Okay. Thanks. We'll try not to be in the way."

He laughed. "I don't think that's going to be a problem and even if it were I'd welcome it. I've missed you." His expression had grown serious. Before she could come up with a reply he glanced around and noticed other than the car seat, diaper bag, coat and purse she didn't appear to have anything else with her. "Is that all you have?" She nodded. "Where's your stuff?"

"The Morgan's are holding most of it until I get settled. I have a bag in a locker at the bus station. We'll need to swing by there so I can grab it."

Elliott glanced at her as he grabbed his coat and keys. He then picked the car seat up. He could see the exhaustion in her face. "You're dead on your feet. How about this instead? We go back to my place so you can get some rest and on the way back here in the morning we'll pick up your stuff. I'm sure that I have something that you can use tonight."

Stifling a yawn she picked up her purse and diaper bag and nodded. She let him gently push her out the door, too tired to argue.

Once they were are his apartment he showed her to one of the spare bedrooms. It had two twin beds, two dressers and a nightstand. "This is the room that Maureen and Kathleen use when they come to visit. It's not much," he said apologetically.

"It's fine, Elliott. Thank you."

"I'll go see if I can find something for you to change into. Be right back."

Once he left Olivia practically collapsed on the bed and ran her hands through her hair. What a day. As tired as she was she also felt something else. She was restless. She got up to pace. Looking around the room she saw small reminders of Elliott's two oldest daughters. In the years she'd been Elliott's partner she'd gotten to know his children. She'd been there for them as much as possible especially when Kathy filed for divorce. How would they react when they heard the news? Would they be able to understand why she didn't come home right away? Maureen and Kathleen would understand better than the twins, Dickie and Lizzie. They were only twelve. Would they just think that she'd abandoned them? A tear slipped down her face. She quickly wiped it away. She hated to cry and had done enough in the last year to last a lifetime. She also didn't want Elliott to see her like that. It was hard though. Maybe she made a mistake not coming home sooner. Hell, she could've sent a letter, picked up the phone...something. She'd been selfish. She'd only been thinking of herself when she'd decided to wait to come home. Julie had begged her to let her friends know that she was okay but she'd said that she wasn't ready. Had it been just an excuse?

Elliott stood silently in the doorway and watched Olivia walk around the room. She looked so sad. He wondered what she was thinking about. He was still amazed that she was here. He'd never given up hope that she was still alive, but there had been nothing to go on. He hated the men that did this to her, to all of them. They'd taken away a year of her life that she would never get back. He was glad they'd been caught and jailed. He knew what he wanted to do to them. He personally wanted to make them pay, but he knew that Olivia wouldn't approve and he didn't want her to hurt anymore because of them.

Just then Olivia turned and saw him standing in the doorway. She wondered how long he'd been standing there. "Hey."

He cleared his throat and stepped in the room. "Here's a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. They belong to Maureen so they should be about the right size." He handed her the clothes.

She took the clothes from him and set them on the bed. "Thanks. Let me change and then I want to talk to you about something I just remembered. It won't take long."

"As long as you're sure that you're not too tired." He could see the dark circles under her eyes.

"I'm fine. I'll meet you out in the living room in a few minutes, okay?"

"Okay." He turned to the door and when he got there he turned back. "Welcome home, Liv." With that he shut the door quietly behind him and went to get ready for bed.

A few minutes later she wandered into the living room. Elliott was already there waiting for her. He was standing by the window looking outside. He turned around when he felt, not heard, her come into the room. He was a little surprised that even after being away from one another for a year he could still sense her presence. He shouldn't be too surprised; they had worked together for seven years. They knew each others nuances, moods and could even finish each other's sentences. They had been in that tune with one another.

She watched him turn from the window and sucked in a breath. He was wearing the same thing as she was, sweats and a t-shirt, but somehow looked sexy in them. She smiled inwardly. 'He looks good' she thought before she could stop herself. She gave herself a mental shake. What the hell was she doing checking out her partner? 'Get your thoughts under control, Benson' she scolded herself as she sat down. She really did need sleep if she was thinking about Elliott like that! She was glad that he couldn't read her mind.

"So, what's up?" he asked.

"I was just thinking about your kids. I don't know how they took my disappearance but I think that you should tell them as soon as possible. This will probably hit the news tomorrow, and I don't really want them to hear it second hand."

"I got so caught up in everything I almost forgot about the kids! You're right though. They should hear it from you or me. Maureen and Kathleen will understand, but the twins I think will have more questions." He looked at the clock. It was just after eight. Thankfully the next day was Saturday. "Look, I can call Kathy now and ask her to drop the kids off at the station in the morning if you want. I'd have to explain why, but I think that she'd understand. Then I'll call Maureen and ask her to come by too, that way we can tell them all at once." He looked at Olivia to see how she felt.

"Are you sure Kathy won't mind? She already hates me as it is. I don't want to piss her off more."

"Actually, you'd be surprised. Your disappearance hit the kids pretty hard and she had to help them through it. I could only do so much, added that I was having my own problems with it. So that softened her some of her feelings that she felt towards you. Also, she's dating again, some guy named Nick whose a CPA, and from what I understand he makes her happy. She's lost a lot of the bitterness and anger towards me, my job and even you. She and I can actually have a conversation without getting into an argument. So, no I don't think she'll mind. She knows you care about the kids and that the kids care about you."

Olivia let out a sigh of relief. She was glad that her partner's ex-wife didn't hate her anymore. It was one less thing that she would have to worry about. "Okay you've convinced me. Go ahead and make the call." Just then she heard a small cry from the bedroom. She stood up. "I'll go check Abby. Just let me know what she says." With that she turned down the hallway and left Elliott to make his calls.

Half an hour later Elliott hung up the phone. The calls had gone better than he'd thought. Maureen asked her dad what was going on but relented when he told her it was something that he had to tell her in person. Kathy had been surprised to say the least, but she was glad for him. She knew how close the two of them were. She promised to bring the kids by in the morning. She even said that if he wanted he could spend the day with them even though it wasn't his weekend with them.

As he walked down the hall to the guest room he didn't hear anything. He knocked on the door and when he didn't get a response peeked in to see if they were okay. He had to grin at what he saw. The two of them had fallen asleep. Olivia was sitting up against the headboard, gently, but protectively holding Abby to her chest. He softly went over and gently lifted Abby out of her grasp. For a moment he just held her close. Not wanting to wake her he gently laid her down in her car seat and strapped her in. He made a not to ask Olivia when she would be getting the rest of her stuff. Abby was probably getting tired of always being in the car seat. He looked over at Olivia. He didn't really want to wake her but if she stayed like that she would feel it in the morning. He walked back to the bed and gently touched her shoulder and lightly shook her. "Olivia? Wake up."

"What? Where's Abby...?" she asked as she rubbed her eyes.

"I put Abby in her car seat. Don't worry, she's still asleep. I just wanted to let you know that everything is set for tomorrow. Kathy's dropping the kids off at eight. I also woke you up so you could get more comfortable."
She crawled under the covers already falling back asleep once she knew that Abby was safe. "Thanks. See you in the morning Stabler." With that she was out. He walked to the door and turned the light out. "Sweet dreams, Liv," he whispered as he shut the door.