Thank you to the people who commented and have followed this! This is my first time ever writing fanfiction, so if you get that feeling reading this it's for a good reason ha. I have not beta'd this, mostly because I'm not really sure how to go about that so if anyone is interested at all definitely let me know as I'm a few chapters ahead here! I'm thinking that this will end up being about 17 or 18 chapters at this rate. And to the person who asked in the comments if this is gonna be a Ron/Harry fic, that's the ultimate goal. It's not my usual go-to pairing, but I read a fic recently I really loved with them and figured what the hell I'll give it a go. This isn't exactly a romance and isn't going to be smutty at all, but there should be a slow burn vibe that will be easy to pick up on. After this chapter the POV is going to switch back and forth from Harry and Ron, and I'll be posting the next chapter before the end of the week. Anywayyyy thank you all!
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Ron ran through the plan in his head for the umpteenth time that night. It was simple enough, but knowing the ramifications of it still left him feeling more worried than he ever had in his life. When Ron first saw the burnt, tall, red headed corpse and forged assignment he began to wonder how long this had all been in development, and more so what exactly the plan was if he were to have said no. Would they just have quickly found someone else? He shuddered as he suddenly imagined Robards looking through a pile of multi-colored haired corpses to choose from.

He would be leading several members of his team to an abandoned London warehouse where they had 'received a tip' of possible dark magic activities. They would search the building, with Ron heading to the top floor and entering the back room alone. The door would automatically shut, and Ron would announce the presence of another magical bomb. After urging his team out of the building, he'd use the device given to him by Robards to blow up the top floor of the building, where the red headed corpse was currently being hidden somewhere on the floor under an invisibility cloak (luckily for Ron he didn't have to try to find the damned thing as the cloak would be obliterated in the blast). Before the explosion he'd use a portkey to immediately be sent to Australia, where two aurors were on hand waiting for him.

As Ron walked towards the building with his team, he had to fight against the burning desire to simply run home. Not being able to tell his family that he was really alive made this mission almost unbearable to do. He knew deep down that his family would be ok, and the darkened insecure part of himself that had been re-emerging recently even suggested they'd be better off. Still, he knew it would tear his mum apart, and even if he wasn't exactly his siblings' favorite person at the moment, he saw the devastation that losing Fred had on the family. Losing another brother wouldn't be easy. Hermione would definitely be upset too. Despite their split, they still had love for each other he knew, even if it wasn't romantic. He had hoped with some time they'd go back to being friends. He'd have to wait a little longer now it seemed. And lastly, Harry. Leaving him again hurt the most, for multiple reasons. He was his best friend, his former partner, his family. And, as he had to come to terms with at the end of his rocky marriage, the person he loved more than anyone else.

Hermione said she began to suspect this early on in their relationship, but she had ignored it out of hope that it was only imagined. But as time went on, it became clear to her that Ron was more focused on his other friend than he ever could be on her.

"I think you need to spend some time figuring out what you want, Ron. Because it clearly isn't me," she had told him tearfully in their last fight. At that point all the anger that started this row had drained out of her, leaving only a deep sadness to her words. Reaching the same point himself, all Ron could really say back was a quiet "I know," a vast deviation from the bitter denial he had given her up to this point. And with that last admission, she was gone, and Ron was left alone to sit with the shame of the relief he had felt when he realized it was really over. He truly did love Hermione, but as time went on, he realized it wasn't the love she wanted or deserved. That love only existed for someone else, and unfortunately for the both of them that was their mutual best friend. Who, Ron bitterly reminded himself, was currently engaged to his sister.

Shaking his head to pull himself out of the spiral of self pity he had yet again found himself in, he turned to his team to let them know the plan of entry. Perkiss, his number two, would be following him to the top floor. The others would be checking rooms in teams.

"Alright, as a reminder, if you find anything you immediately inform the rest of the team. We have no idea what's in there, so stick to your training, and listen to your partners. If you're told to duck, you duck, if you're told to stand your ground, you stand your ground, and if you're told to get the hell out" he waited a breath to look over his team "then you get the hell out. Understood?"

Murmurs of agreement hit him. It wasn't quite the assured certainty he was looking for, but being as it was currently four in the morning he assumed that was about as much as they had to offer. He briefly felt concern that his exhausted team might not all get out of the building in time for his plan to work out, but he reminded himself that this group had been hand selected by him for a reason.

"Alright then, move it!"

Ron led the way through the building, feigning trepidation at every turn before moving his way up to the top of the dilapidated building. Perkiss was moving far too quickly, checking each door in succession, so Ron had to briskly step past him to get to the final room on his own. Once he stepped in, he turned in time to see the peeling door slam shut on Perkiss' shocked face.

"Sir? Sir? Ron! What's going on, the door won't budge!" He heard the sound of polished shoes grinding on the hardwood floor "Shit! I can't seem to apparate in, can you get out?"

The doorknob continued to turn ferociously along with the sound of muttered spells, but he knew they were pointless. Still, he needed to do this quickly, partially due to the time constraints, but also to keep his own resolve.

"Perkiss. Perkiss! Listen to me, stop trying to open that door! There's another explosive in here… it looks just like the ones we found in Sheffield."

Perkiss' panicked voice shot back "What? How! We got those bastards. What is one doing in London?"

Ron pulled out the tiny device from his pocket that Robards had given him, as well as the empty soda can that would soon be taking him to his faraway destination. The device his boss had constructed wasn't nearly as powerful as the explosives they'd found weeks before, but it was strong enough for the purposes he had tonight.

"I'm not sure, but that doesn't really change the fact much does it? Listen Perkiss, I'm gonna try to contain it, just like we did in that last building. But I need you to get the rest of the team out of here. I have no idea what the radius of this is going to be."

Silence. "But then how are you going to get out?"

Ron started to fumble with the device, trying to remember how the timer on it worked. "I'm not. Look Perkiss, stop! Stop!" he shouted as he heard his subordinate starting to talk over him. "This thing has already started to expand, we have about three minutes before it goes off on its own based on what we've seen before. I'm ordering you, get the rest of the team and leave!"

More silence. Then, "I- Ok. But isn't there-? Fuck! Fuck, ok."

Guilt started to creep through him then. He supposed his 'death' would be affecting a few more people than just his family. "Perkiss. I'm sorry. And…. Can you pass something along for me?" he asked in a suddenly choked voice.

"Of course" came the quiet voice on the other side of the door.

Ron took a deep breath, and said what he'd been rehearsing in his head all evening. "I need you to tell my family, and Harry and Hermione something. Tell them…. Tell them that I'm sorry. Really, properly sorry. For everything I did and everything I didn't. That I wish things had been different and ended differently. And that I hope one day they can understand why I had to do this." He felt the warmth of tears rolling down his cheeks at this admission. It was all true. He really did hope that one day, if he lived through this, they would understand.

"Ok" Perkiss said in a wavering voice. "I'm going to get the team out Ron, just… just give me 30 seconds to get off this floor."

"Thanks" Ron choked out. He had thought he might have to fake an emotional response here to really sell things, but found that it came quite easily to him. At thirty seconds, he set the timer to one minute. When the timer hit ten seconds Ron activated the portkey before dropping the device on the floor. He wasn't sure if it was the suction of the portkey or the sound of the explosion that filled his ears when he felt the tug on his navel, but within seconds the only sound he heard was the crash of ocean waves. Spluttering, he fell to his knees on a beach, somewhere in broad daylight.

"Mr. Weasley! Ah good, so it worked! Nice to meet ya, I'm Auror Daniels."