A/N: Sorry it took so long to get this out. I had the story written in a notebook and as I typed it out it completely veered off in another direction. I had to chase it down and I'm still trying to figure out where it wants to go. So updates might take longer now. It's not great in the beginning but gets better by the end. Or so I think. Let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: SVU and its characters do not belong to me. Abby does though. That's all.

Chapter 5

When Olivia woke in the morning she was pleasantly surprised at how rested she felt. Abby had only woken once in the night and once fed and changed she had fallen right back to sleep.

After her shower, she grimaced at her reflection in the mirror. Once she'd gotten out she remembered the only clothes that she had with her were the ones that she'd worn the day before. Pulling them on she wished she had persuaded Elliott to take her to get her bag. Just then there was a knock at the door.

"Come on in Elliott."

He came in with a pile of assorted clothes in one hand. "I thought that you might want some clean clothes. I found some more of Maureen's in the laundry room."

She breathed a sigh of pleasure as she started to look through them. "Thank you. I was just cursing you for not letting me get my stuff. So for this I take it all back and forgive you."

He flashed her a grin. "I appreciate it. Finish up and Abby and I will meet you in the kitchen for breakfast. I fixed your favorite."

Her eyes lit up. "Chocolate chip pancakes?"

Sometimes it was really easy to make her happy. "Yes, coffee's ready too so get a move on."
"I will as soon as you get out."

"Yes ma'am!" He threw a salute to her and shut the door.

She threw his words back at him from the day before. "Smart aleck!" She heard him laughing as he left.

She quickly redressed and then met him in the kitchen. He handed her a cup of coffee just the way she liked it and they sat down for a quick breakfast. Olivia soon found out that though she was hungry she couldn't eat much because of the butterflies in her stomach. Finally it was time to leave and they gathered Abby and headed out the door.

It didn't take long to get to the bus station and grab her bag and soon they were on their way to the precinct. As they get closer the butterflies multiplied. By now she figured her news was all over the station. Yesterday wasn't so bad because she had been hiding and then she just saw her closest friends. How would everyone else react? As if sensing her thoughts and nervousness, Elliott reached over and squeezed her hand. "It'll be okay."

She laughed. "What are you a mind reader now?"

"No. When your nervous you chew on your bottom lip. And if you don't stop you're going to start bleeding."

Once they got to the station, she saw that she was right about one thing. The news had spread. Even at almost 8 in the morning there were several dozen reporters out front clamoring for a shot of the woman of the hour. Several officers were keeping the crowd back from the street and others were guarding the front doors. Olivia groaned.

Elliott had expected this and drove past the crowd never being spotted. "I'm going to drive around to the back. I'll bet that the captain made sure that they wouldn't be allowed back there." Thankfully he was right. It was quiet until she got inside. The reporters weren't being allowed inside the building; but that didn't stop her fellow officers and coworkers from crowding around her. It took awhile to get to the SVU squad room. There was no better. She was embarrassed at the attention but she took it all in stride. Olivia knew that her story was big news. It wasn't everyday that a NYPD cop came back from the dead. With all the reporters outside she figured she'd have to give a statement at some point.

Cragen and her friends were waiting when they managed to break away from the well wishers.

"Ah, the lady of the hour!" Munch greeted.

"Shut up John." Olivia said trying to keep a scowl on her face. She failed and grinned at the group. "Sorry about the circus captain."

He waved her apology away. "Not your fault. But the Brass would like you to give some sort of statement if you feel up to it?"

Though she was expecting it she still moaned. "I sorta figured. Could I go ahead and get it over with?"

"Yeah, actually they're waiting for you. Don't worry I'll go with you. You can leave Abby here."

"We'll take good care of her." Alex promised as she lifted her out of her seat.

"Okay, just give me five minutes to change." She grabbed her bag and headed to the bathroom.

When she got back she scanned the room for Elliott. She knew his children would be there soon and she wanted to know what his plan was for when they showed up. She spotted him at his desk talking to a uniformed officer. She walked up and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Elliott, can I talk to you for a moment?"

He stood up and excused himself. They walked over to a relatively quiet corner.

"Everything okay?"

She nodded. "I just want to know what you're going to do about your kids. They should be here by the time I get back."

"I just talked to Kathy. They're on their way here now. She's coming in the back way so they don't see the press. Kathy will wait with them upstairs until you get back. Then the rest I guess is up to you."

"Olivia? Are you ready to go?" Cragen asked walking up to the pair.

"Yeah. Let's go." After taking a couple of steps she turned back to Elliott and smiled. "I'll meet you back here and we'll tell the kids. See you in a little bit." With that they were gone.

Walking back to the squad room Olivia let out a breath. She was so glad that she'd gotten the press conference over with. Telling the world that she was alive and why she'd been missing for a year had been tough. Thankfully the Brass had been very supportive, which had been a surprise. All she wanted to do now was find Abby and then tell Elliott's kids. Once they knew then she could get on with living her life. Stepping into the squad room she spotted Elliott immediately. He must have been keeping an eye out for her because he saw her and walked up.

"How'd it go?"

"Fine. The Commissioner kept it short. I guess he could tell that I didn't want to be there all day. Are your kids here yet?"

"Yeah. They're upstairs with Kathy. They're confused as to why they're here though. They know something is going on but not what. You ready for this?"

"Uh, honestly no but I need to do this. By the way where's Abby?" She looked around and didn't see her and began to worry.

Elliott laughed and Olivia wondered what she'd missed. "She's in with 'Grandpa Cragen.'"

"Grandpa Cragen!"

"That's what I heard him tell her. I could barely believe my ears. He knows the kids are here, but promised that if she needed you he would send someone up to get you."

"Okay let's go." For support she took her hand in his as they walked up the stairs. When they got to the door to the crib he squeezed her hand and then let go. She stepped back so he could go in and talk to them first. He left the door cracked so she could here what was going on.

"Hey dad."

"What's going on? Why are we here?"

He was greeted enthusiastically by his kids. Kathy gave him a smile to show her support. He sat on one of the beds and motioned for the kids to sit down.

"Well you're here because I have some news to share and I wanted you to hear it from me and in person. First you have to know that I didn't find out about this until yesterday so it's was complete surprise to me too."

Kathleen interrupted him. "Dad! Just tell us. We can handle it whatever it is." Suddenly a thought crossed her mind and she got a horrified look on her face and gasped. "It's not about Olivia is it? Did they find her? Kathleen looked like she was about to burst into tears. He quickly reassured her and the others who looked just as shocked at the thought.

"It's okay guys. The news is about Olivia, just not what you think. See for yourself." And before they could react to that statement the door opened and she stepped in. The kids gasped. Even Kathy, who knew she was alive, looked shocked. The twins recovered first and jumped up and hurled themselves at her. Maureen and Kathleen followed suit. The five of them were laughing and crying with the kids throwing out a hundred questions at once. Eventually the kids' tears stopped and they let go of Olivia enough so she could sit down. She went and sat down next to Elliott. Kathleen and Lizzie sat next to her on the other side and Maureen and Dickie sat on the bed across from them. Kathy stood up and cleared her throat. She knew that Olivia would be uncomfortable with her there. "I'll see you guys later tonight. It's good to see you're safe Olivia." And with that she was gone.

Olivia was surprised at the other woman's grace. A year ago Kathy would have had a much different reaction. There would have been some sort of confrontation with screaming and yelling. Maybe Elliott was right, maybe Kathy had mellowed some.

Once she was gone the kids turned back to Olivia. "Where were you Livvie? We missed you so much!" Lizzie exclaimed as she hugged her hard.

She hugged the young girl close. "I missed you guys too. So much. I'll tell you what I can but understand I don't want you to know everything. Not because I don't love you guys, because I do love you and there are some things about what happened that you just don't need to know." They all shook their heads in understanding so she continued.

"The day I disappeared, on my way to work I was grabbed by two men. They took me out of state. I was there a long time. I wanted to come home really, really bad. I missed all my friends, work and you guys. Then I got hurt and for several months I didn't remember who I was so I didn't know where home was. Once I remembered who I was I came home as soon as I knew was safe. So here I am."

She knew that the details were vague but the children didn't need to know the horrific circumstances. Looking at Maureen and Kathleen she saw the understanding in their eyes. They could read between the lines and knew there was more. Lizzie and Dickie were just happy to know that their friend was safe and home.

"So what are you going to do now? Are you going to be dad's partner again?" Maureen asked.

"Uh, well I'm just taking one day at a time right now. I haven't talked to Cragen yet. But there is one more thing that you need to see. Hang on and I'll be right back." She left the room and went downstairs to Cragen's office and knocked.

"Come in."

She opened the door and smiled at the sight before her. Abby was asleep resting comfortably in Cragen's arms. "I just came to collect my daughter. I have some people upstairs that need to meet her."

He stood up and walked around the desk and handed her over. "No problem. She's been an angel, just so you know. How did they take the news?" He had seen Kathy come in with the kids and knew why they were there.

"Good. They don't know all the details of course, but have accepted what I told them. Maureen and Kathleen may have more questions later but I won't tell them everything, just because they don't need to have that in their minds."

"Understandable. Olivia--"She paused at the doorway and turned back to look at Cragen. "If you need anything else my door is always open."

She gave him a smile. "Thanks captain. See you later."

When she got back upstairs she heard the kids peppering their dad with questions about her, where she'd been, and what the big surprise was. He was fending them off as best as he could. She smiled down at Abby and pushed the door open. Four heads swung to the sound of the door creaking open. Again, the kids were silent for a moment, and then rushed over to see Abby.

"You had a baby!" exclaimed Kathleen.

"Awesome!" This came from Dickie.

"Wow she's so tiny!" Maureen said.

"She's beautiful." Lastly Lizzie chimed in.

Olivia sat back down and the kids crowded around for a better look. As they cooed over Abby her thoughts wandered. She'd never thought she'd feel so content as she did at that moment. She had her best friend back, with his kids, who loved her and now Abby, unconditionally, and accepted her in their lives without a thought. She had Abby, who she loved more than she ever thought she could love a child. She'd never thought that she would have kids. She didn't think that she should pass down the genes that coursed through her. Now that she had Abby she couldn't imagine not having her. Sure there were moments she wondered if she would screw up. But from talking to other mothers she knew that was a common fear in new mothers.

"Olivia?" She realized Maureen was trying to get her attention.

"Sorry. My mind was wandering. What did you ask me?" She focused her attention on the girl.

Maureen grinned. "We were just wondering what her name was. Dad won't tell us." She threw him an evil glare. He just grinned back at her.

"Oh! Sorry. Guys this is Abigail, or Abby. Maureen would you like to hold her?" She saw that look on her face. She desperately wanted to hold her but was afraid to ask.

The young woman's face lit up at the question. "May I?"

"Sure...Support the head...there you go."

Just then Lizzie asked the one question that Olivia had been dreading. "Whose her dad, Olivia?"

She froze. She didn't know what to say. The truth would be detrimental. "Uh...well..."

Elliott seeing the look in Olivia's eyes knew that there was no easy way to answer that. Especially to a twelve year old. It was something that she just didn't need to know right now. He spoke up providing a distraction. "Hey guys? Cragen gave me the rest of the day off so what do you say we get out of here. I was thinking we could go to the park and hang out, maybe have a picnic. What do you think?" He glanced at Olivia who mouthed 'Thank you.' He just nodded. The kids readily agreed. Olivia was still sitting silently. "Sound like a plan, Liv?"

She forced herself to focus on Elliott. "Yeah. That does sound good. I just need to grab my stuff from downstairs."

They trooped downstairs, collected her things, said bye to everyone and walked out into the sunshine. They decided to take the subway because there wouldn't be enough room in the car for all of them. Once off the subway they grabbed sandwiches at a deli and headed into the park. It really was a beautiful day for romping in the park.

Everyone had a great time that day. By the end of the day everyone was exhausted. Happy but exhausted. Later that night back at Elliott's apartment, Olivia's thoughts wandered to earlier that day. She knew that Lizzie hadn't meant to upset her. She was just a curious child, not able to understand the all ways of the world just yet. She also knew until she came clean that question was going to haunt her. Lizzie had been the first one to voice it, but since she'd return she'd seen the question in everyone's eyes. And with the question she saw the one thing that she didn't want. Pity. She didn't want that. To her, Abby was a blessing. A tiny, beautiful blessing. And neither one of them deserved pity from anyone.

Elliott interrupted her thoughts just then. "Hey, are you okay?" He stood in the doorway of the guest room.

"Yeah, just thinking about some things." She glanced down at Abby who was asleep. She didn't want to wake her up.

He sensed her hesitancy. "Let's go sit in the living room and we can talk."

She followed him out to the living room and sat down. This was starting to become a nightly ritual.

"What's on your mind Liv? Ever since you saw the kids this morning you've been quiet. You put a mask on but I know you better than you do sometimes, you can't fool me. Is this about what Lizzie asked you? Becuase you know she didn't mean it, right? It doesn't matter who her father is. Your her mother and that's enough."

"I know. But..." She didn't know how to continue. She could turn everything upside down with a few words. Would it be worth it? She was just terrified of the reaction that she might get.

"But what? Liv, look in the mirror. Despite who your parents were look at how you turned out. You're a wonderful person. You have helped more people in this city than I can count. You have friends that love you. You are not your mother or your father."

"Elliott!" She had to stop him. He was making this too hard as it was.

He was mildly shocked at her outburst. He looked over and saw unshed tears in her eyes and was immediately contrite. He didn't want her to cry. "Dammit. I'm sorry, Liv. I just want you to know that you and Abby do matter."

She hated the tears that threatened to fall. "I know. In the last year with all the not knowing I've come to accept things in my life. I can't control where my DNA came from but I can control what I do and how I feel. I'm happier now then I've ever been. So please stop with the lecture. I don't need it anymore."

"Then why the brooding and the tears?"

She knew what she had to do and now was the time. If she didn't do it now then she would lose her nerve completely. "There's something that I need to tell you about Abby's father..."

A/N: I hate cliffhangers, but I needed to stop this chapter at some point and this seemed like a good place. If you want to know what happens stay tuned...Oh and please review.