Scars- Chapter 30- Hope Fades Into the World of Night

Disclaimer: All characters within this story are the property of J.R.R. Tolkien. No profit is being made from this story. It is being written for enjoyment only.

Author's Note: Forgive me! I don't know what else to say. I have not abandoned this story, I just lost some of the spark it took to write it. Real life has been busy and filled with many various tasks and responsibilities. In the months that this story has been on hiatus, a birth, an illness and a death have taken place in my extended family. We've experienced both the highs and lows that life has to offer us. I love this story, however, as I assume many authors feel towards the words they write, but I just could not write it while lacking the inspiration needed to continue. I have found that inspiration, however, I hope. It has come through a song (as usual) from which I took the title of this chapter. It will come into play more next chapter which is a companion to this one. At first I planned to write the two together, but I wanted to get this one out so the need to finish it did not haunt me in the upcoming week. I hope to get the next one out shortly as well. My goal is next week since the ideas behind it are fresh in my head. Many thanks for those who are continuing to read this story and for your many kind words. :)

Scars Chapter 30- Hope Fades Into the World of Night...

"The rushing wind that drifted past the raven-haired Elf, as his galloping steed continued soaring onward, served to dry the stream of tears which ran down his ageless face, allowing none to become privy to the dark thoughts which still haunted him.

For, his was a wounded spirit, much like his brother, Estel's. Through the tragic events of the year past, his soul had sustained damage that was beyond reparation.

MWMWMWMW

Elladan was shaken from these troubling memories as he noted the hand that he held within his own had grown much colder and lax during these last, few moments spent within the past. Frightened, his long fingers curled around Aragorn's wrist feeling for some sign that life still coursed beneath his brother's chilled extremity. His eyes likewise flew towards the Man's once vibrant countenance only to be greeted by the waxen mask of death.

Taking stronger hold of the Man's limp hand he beckoned desperately, " No, Estel, it is not time! There is still so much I have to say…so much I have left to tell you….that which I have yet to answer for... "

Shaking his head in grief, Elladan's tears flowed freely as the Elf went on to elaborate, " I could never speak of thus before… I could never put into words the totality of the guilt and shame I felt towards my transgressions…Regret and remorse have been my constant companions…Though as time went by… as our everyday lives moved onward, I was able to relegate the power they held over me to the farthest reaches of my memory, but still their shadow lingered on… within my heart…my soul... It has haunted me ever since .. I have never been able to fully tear myself free of its strangle hold upon me…blot out its existence. Regret is a bitter tonic to swallow…"

"At first, Father tried to help me to do such, but I opposed him. He pushed at me…encouraged me to make my remorse known to you… to unburden the guilt I felt for having abandoned you to such a fate. But how could I trouble you with my grief when your own was so much more overwhelming? So instead, I kept mine to myself…allowed it to grow within me…to fester… until at last it was easier to push it aside than deal with its enormity… to pretend that it did not exist, hence the distance I kept from you, especially during those early days… Foolishness of mind was mine, I know this now and cowardice as well…" Elladan finished with a sob as he attempted to draw a steadying breath.

"But I could not bear its weight, Estel, just as I cannot bear the pain of your leaving me now, especially when we are to part company with such a misunderstanding still looming between us… our last words spoken said in anger… No, my last words spoken to you said in anger. Forgive me, brother! Never have you disappointed…never have you failed me… I have only but loved you for whom you are, though the love and understanding, you have given me unconditionally in return, have been unmerited… You are blameless…The guilt is mine alone. Never was it yours, little one! My shortcomings have been great…They have caused a rift between us, and now I've come to understand just how my continued silence has furthered this divide… adding additional pain….Never was that my intent, Estel! Make no mistake! I should have confronted these emotions long ago…should have put into words all that grieved me…let you know that I never held you in the slightest contempt for what had happened…"

"I had ample opportunity to do so…both in Rivendell and abroad…If I had only done so that day when I found you upon the mound," Elladan choked, "It was covered over with Galanthus much like the area now surrounding us…Never had I thought that you would return to the location of Berior's fall, believing the memory of it to be too painful for you to bear…"

"I had felt very much the same myself when I traveled These Lands leaving Rivendell and my guilt behind me…Yet something hearkened out to me... would not let go of me… nagged at me…Perhaps I could not leave all of my shame to the past…perhaps I was being given one last chance to affect some remedy towards this awful tragedy the Orcs had enforced upon you… given the opportunity to rectify one of the wrongs left behind by this grievous misfortune. So, I returned to the site to bury what remained of our gift to you…Never did I truly realize the treasure that Berior would come to give usuntil Elrohir approached me with the details in the days following your attack…He tried to share with me the events of that day… tried to relay to me the true facts…that it had not been my fault…but I brushed his words aside, because I knew differently. For, even a mere beast had the ability to provide you with the comfort, aid, and protection that I could not…"

"I wept when I found him as well… what remained of the once proud stallion. Then I prepared a mound and laid his worthy sacrifice to rest…He was our gift to you, brother, though we did not realize at the time of his acquisition what true riches were his to bestow upon us…"

"I was as surprised as you many months later to find his grave covered over with Galanthus…Their fragrant aroma rising up to perfume the air like a balm which restores the soul….If only you could breathe in their fresh scent now … If only you could see again how their once proud, yet humbled heads have pushed through the earth's cold crust to let the world know that hope can take hold even in the darkest of places…that all is never lost when hope abides…If I could fill your soul with this knowledge, but alas, I have waited too long to speak… the opportunity is no longer mine…"

"NO! All is not lost!" Elladan shouted arguing against the despair bearing down on him, "It is never lost to us completely!" Immediately the raven-haired Elf gathered his feet from beneath him and struggled to rise. Standing, he dashed off to cover the distance between him and his perceived goal. Even in the muted rays of the moonlight, he was quick to find one of the many white blossoms which only short moments before he had spoken of to his brother. Pulling it free from the ground, roots and all, he held it fast within his palm as he hurried back towards Aragorn.

Kneeling beside the Man again, he took quick possession of his brother's cold hands, rolling Legolas closer to them as well in the process. Transferring the newly attained slip into their custody, he brought them finally to rest upon Aragorn's chest. The tall, green shoot lay in stark contrast to the bulky, white bandage, which covered his brother's waist and chest, and to Legolas' golden hair, which now spilled upon the Ranger as his head found rest against the still comfort offered by his friend.

Staring at the impediment of his Silvan friend, Elladan was loath to break the bond that the archer had established hours earlier. There would be time for that later he surmised, hoping now that through the comfort of their continued touch that Legolas would be able to commune with Aragorn's departing spirit. Returning his eyes towards the hearty blossom, Elladan noted how it reached upwards as if to tickle his brother's slack features; its white bloom falling just short of the Ranger's once strong chin.

Elladan's own hands then went on to cover those of his Human brother as he worked to keep the flower in place, before lowering his dark head towards Aragorn's until the smoothness of his cheek touched against the bearded stubble of the Ranger's face. The Elf's tears fell to mingle with the lingering heat left over from fever that had consumed his body…its powerful effect still present as at last he spoke out his final grief.

" Galanthus, Estel. It spoke of hope then….even in the depths of grief and despair, it let us know that life continues on…that no force, no matter how dark or great…can keep that from us…I will not let go of this truth, brother, but will carry with me as a legacy to you until I draw my very last breath…"

Finishing the Elf moved forward to place one final kiss upon his brother's cooling cheek. Turning his head, his grief stricken eyes noted Elrohir sleeping just a short distance away, acknowledging as well that Halfdan lingered somewhere in the vicinity too, but the anguish of heartache and exhaustion now inhibited him, and he had not the strength or the desire to move from where he lay. "Forgive me, brother." He whispered to his twin before turning his dark eyes back towards Aragorn and allowing them to drift shut as his head dropped down towards the ground beside him.

TBC

Author's Closing Notes: Well if you have reached this point, then thank you for reading Chapter 30. The next chapter will be a Legolas one…oh and of course Aragorn too. Until then! Sue a.k.a. Quickbeam 1