E2: Blah. Edited, etc.
Ahem. Read, review- and I sincerely hope you enjoy.
Chapter Thirteen: Almost.
Tenten's mind began to swirl, aching with the amount of information that was being filtered by her brain. She could sense emotions, lives, thoughts, dreams, movement in the seemingly stationary night, apart from the rain.
"Tenten!" Sakura sprinted up the stairs, two at a time. She knelt by the chair and placed her hand on her forehead. It was cool and clammy along with the rest of her skin. Sakura sighed and picked up her friend from the bench.
A few minutes later, Sakura entered the Uchiha household with Tenten in her arms. Sasuke felt them enter and quickly instructed Chikako to find some towels and warm water.
"Sasuke!" Sakura gasped, placing Tenten on her bed in the guest room.
The Uchiha gathered up some blankets from the linen closet and placed them on the foot of the bed. Chikako entered the room with the towels and a servant behind her carried a bucket of warm water.
"She's burning up," Sakura said, placing a hand on Tenten's forehead.
"But she feels so cold!" Chikako said, rubbing her 'aunt's' hand.
"Mmm… that's because she stayed out in the rain for too long without shoes and an umbrella," Sasuke said, his arms crossed as he watched the two.
"It's something more than that," Sakura muttered.
"What do you mean?" Chikako asked.
"There's something wrong with her… chakra. It's cloudy, like there are too many things everywhere."
"Cant you fix that?" Sasuke asked.
"I have an idea," Sakura replied, smiling grimly.
----x----
A few minutes later, Hinata and Ino walked into the guest room. Sakura stood up from the chair she had been sitting in and Chikako protested sleepily. Sasuke, muttering that it was no time for her to be awake, picked her up, carried her to her bedroom, and read her a bedtime story.
"What's wrong with her?" Hinata asked.
"I was hoping you could tell me," Sakura replied wryly.
"What happened?" Ino took a seat at the foot of the bed.
"She ran out into the rain and I found her half an hour later. Her skin was cold and clammy. Now her forehead's burning up, and she's not responding to any treatment that I apply," Sakura explained, rubbing her temples.
"There's some abnormality with her chakra," Hinata commented softly.
"It's cloudy. I sensed that, too," Sakura sighed.
"I'll try and see what I can do. Watch over my body for me…" Ino said, quickly forming seals. She slumped over moments later and the other two kunoichi sat and waited.
----x----
Ino was lost in a cacophony of colours and it was making her head ache. Worse still, she could find no way of making Tenten's body wake up and respond to her commands.
"Tenten? Are you still in here?" Ino called out to the swirling mass. She heard someone crying and turned towards the sound. Tenten sat in (literally) the corner of her mind, crying.
"Why are you still here?" Ino asked kindly.
"Why are you here at all?" Tenten looked up, wiping her tears away.
"We were worried about you," Ino replied. "Why is your mind like this?" she gestured to the colours.
"Because… I'm here," Tenten whispered, and shuddered.
"I know- but what does that have to do with anything?"
"These people… the memories in my head…" Tenten paused. "There's conflict- I'm Tenten… and I'm Miyako- the woman who was a part of the Hideaki Clan. I can't control anything and I'm starting to receive information… about people all over Konoha… and it just hurt me so much, and I wanted to just curl up and hide until it all went away."
"Why are you doing this?" Ino demanded angrily. "The Tenten I knew would not give in to the pain! She would stand there and bear it, and fight it!"
"That Tenten is gone," Tenten looked up at her with soulfully dark eyes that glimmered with some unidentifiable emotion. "She is gone… without him," she whispered, and turned her head away from Ino. "Leave me," she said, and vanished.
Ino warily took a step back. This was getting way beyond her abilities. Hopefully, Tenten would wake up- and remember nothing.
----x----
Nara Ino woke groggily, her vision still spinning. She sat up and looked around. Sakura had slumped down on to the bed by Tenten's right hand, and Hinata by her left. Tenten herself seemed to be sleeping perfectly fine. She was no medic or Byakugan-wielder but somehow, she knew that Tenten had healed herself- at least enough for now. The entire process would take many years. She had seen victims of amnesia in her lifetime and sometimes, they never regained their memory so they were only a mere shell for someone whose soul had died.
She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was seven o'clock. At that moment, Chikako ran into the room, and pounced on Tenten, waking everyone else up in the process. Tenten sat up and drew invisible weapons, then the dreamy veil fell away from her eyes, and she registered the child sitting on her lap.
"Good morning, Chika," she smiled, and looked around. She frowned, as if remembering something, and looked Ino directly in the eye. Ino met her stare and a mutual understanding passed between them. Neither would speak of the incident to anyone.
"Chika!" Sakura said sharply. Chikako climbed off the bed and stood still, her shoulders drooping. "It is very rude to wake people up like that. What if Tenten had been injured? You scared her half to death! What if she had been hiding weapons, and really stabbed you?" she reprimanded her child and sent her away to "think about it". Hinata checked the chakra flows in Tenten's body, noting nothing abnormal, and Sakura performed a quick check-up. There was no sign of a fever or cold- the kunoichi seemed now preoccupied with something else.
"Thank you all… for caring. But I think I'd like to be alone for a while," Tenten smiled and the three women returned the expression of gratitude and left the room. The kunoichi left the bed and walked into the adjoining bathroom, and stared into the mirror. She looked no different on the outside, but she knew that something on the inside had changed. It wasn't her body either- it was her mind and soul. She had changed- but she was serene. Everything would be fine- she'd found her place between Miyako and Tenten, becoming both and merging.
Tenten distractedly left the room and walked to the garden, her thoughts traveling to the moon and back. The kunoichi sat down on a rock and tried to empty her mind.
Thinking about thinking… heard everyone's thoughts again- like she had with Emi. It seemed like everyone had locked their minds from her on the island. She stood still for a few moments, listening to her heart beat, slowly breathing in and out. The world around her turned still and black. A rush of words entered her mind and she tuned them out, trying to find a certain person's thoughts. It was similar to reading chakra signatures, and she came across a single line of coherent words that felt like they belonged to Sakura. Indeed, there seemed to be two streams twisted together- but they spoke one at a time.
Tenten bit her lip and withdrew from the trance like state she had been in.
There were obviously some moral issues that came with her… gifts and she knew she'd have to train. Maybe she could ask Neji for assistance- he and Hinata could somehow read each others thoughts, and the Byakugan's insightful abilities could read thoughts, memories and emotions. Maybe that would help. Maybe she was just thinking that to try and find a way to see him again.
Sighing, Tenten got up and entered the house once more. It would be busy for the next few weeks.
----x----
Neji woke from strange dreams and looked down at the sleeping figure beside him. It was their final day here. They would be leaving after lunch and arriving in Konoha around sunset.
"Emi," he said softly, propping himself up on one elbow. "It's time to wake up."
Emi rolled over, into the curve of his arm.
"I don't want to leave," she said sleepily. "It's been so relaxing to just stay here and not have to do anything…" she rubbed her cool cheek against his smooth skin and Neji abruptly sat up, moving away from her. Emi sighed and lay on her back. Neji was not comfortable with her touch- even after that night. He hadn't touched her since.
There was also another reason why she did not want to return to Konoha- Tenten would be there. Tenten was a threat and close to Neji's heart. That made her a danger to her carefully laid out plans. No one else had expected Tenten to return. Emi had hoped that she would never see her face again, but alas- Fate had another cruel twist in store for her.
----x----
Life went on, a semblance of normality settling around the kunoichi of Konoha. Tenten found a beautiful terrace house. It had three levels- not including the flat roof that had a filthy glass panel in the centre, which she knew she could just sit and gaze at the stars on summer nights. Lee, Kiba, Shino and Chouji had all helped her move her new possessions into the house, and everything was now in place.
A trip to the bank a few weeks ago had told her that her bank account (with compound interest) now contained a hefty sum- one that raised her eyebrows and sent tingles of joy shooting through her body. She, Sakura, Hinata, Ino, Oki and Chikako had all gone on a house hunt, and they had come up with a unanimous decision- the terrace house was the right way to go.
It was inconspicuous at first and almost boring. Upon closer inspection, the six females had entered the garden, finding a wild kind of beauty in the garden. Inside the house was another story. It was dusty and cluttered with old furniture that had been covered with white sheets. Some of the rooms, such as the lounge, opened up with sliding rice paper screens- and the strange combination of both modern and traditional features of the house appealed to the kunoichi, so she signed the cheque and the house was hers.
It had taken a week to move everything out of the house, air out the musty smell, and clean both sides of the window in the roof. They had decided to keep some furniture and throw out some other bits. Tenten had planned everything out- the ground floor would be the kitchen, laundry and living area (the bathrooms were already installed), the first would be her "study", like her old apartment- but bigger and even better, and the second would be her bedroom and bathroom. The garish and girly wallpaper had been stripped, revealing a smooth whitewashed wall beneath but it was quickly painted over with a colour called "Vanilla Frost". It was slightly neutral but brightened up the entire room in the light. She liked it.
She had pulled all of the weeds out of the garden, replanted some newer, brighter plants and (with the help of the others) given the outside of the house a new coat of paint, along with the shutters.
Tenten sighed and stretched out on the mat on the floor, slowly twisting and turning her body into elaborate shapes. She had found that yoga helped to meditate – rather than just sitting there and doing nothing. As she moved, she felt energy course through her body and moved serenely with the flow. Her mind seemed to stretch and grow as she stared unseeingly at the surrounding area – in her head, she only saw blinding white around her that faded back into black and she could sense other people nearby, combined with reality so she could envision these people in their homes, going about their daily lives. It was the strangest sensation she'd ever felt. It was like there was just too much to absorb, but somehow… not enough. Maybe, she thought, this was what it was like to have the Byakugan- to be all seeing and all knowing in an instant of everything around you. Omnipotent.
Bathed in the light of the afternoon, she continued her exercises for an hour until she suddenly felt a few new presences enter her mind- it was Emi and Neji. Curiously, Tenten drew closer to the source, finding that they were at Neji's apartment (she couldn't bear to think of it as their) and Emi was feeling tense and worried about something… to her shock, Tenten realized that Emi thought that she was a threat.
Guiltily, Tenten turned her attention to Neji. She could visualize the pair in the apartment and Neji was reading her note. He turned, looked directly at her, and activated his bloodline limit- he knew that she was there. Tenten quickly focused her eyes and stood still, focusing her mind as she closed her eyes.
Tenten? What are you doing? Neji asked, obviously puzzled.
I'm not sure.
What? Why not?
It's something that happened… to me- will you meet me in the park?
I don't think that would be possible…
Tenten felt that Neji was referring to Emi.
Tonight, then. Tenten sent what she hoped was the mental equivalent of a smile, and withdrew from his mind.
----x----
That night, at around ten o'clock, Tenten lay back on her cream coloured blanket as she stared out the window at the moon, visualizing a second one beside it. She then looked down at the photo frame in her lap and traced her finger over Neji's face. After a few moments she fell asleep, and mentally woke in a kind of misty park. It was Neji's dream.
"Neji?" Tenten called out. "Are you here?"
Neji stepped out of the shadows, seeing Tenten clothed in a pale green, gossamer-like dress, and the mist seemed to cling to her skin. Her hair was long and lustrous once again and it was almost like no time had passed between them. Almost.
"Tenten," Neji breathed, and his breath came out in a cloud, causing Tenten to shiver lightly.
"Couldn't you dream of something else?" Tenten asked wistfully. It was very cold here. She, of all people, knew how real the dream could be to the mind.
"No," Neji said softly. "Watch." He instructed, and pointed. Tenten stood at his side and waited. Suddenly, she saw herself emerge from the mist, holding hands with Neji. She looked at the real Neji, who had a faraway look in his eyes, and felt the familiar ache of tears.
"Neji," the old Tenten said. "I love you," she said, as they stopped walking. She leaned into his shoulder, and smiled serenely.
"Tenten…" Neji said softly. "Will you marry me?" Tenten looked up into his eyes, knowing that he was deadly serious. "You… complete my life, and I could not have it any other way."
Tenten jumped into his arms, her kiss every answer that he wanted to hear, and he slid a ring onto her finger.
They faded away, and Tenten's tears fell into the dewy grass. Neji drew her close, and she stood silently in his arms. They held on to each other, and it was almost like the time when they had been together. Almost.
"What was it you wanted to tell me?" Neji asked, his voice rumbling like thunder in his chest.
"So… many things," Tenten sighed.
"How about we start with where you were for the past three years?" Neji suggested, and they began to walk through a completely different landscape where they had been only moments ago. Tenten looked around with interest and with a pang in her heart, she realized that they were in their training grounds in an eternal afternoon kind of sunshine. But she knew that it was only within his mind- and heart, too. She bit her lip as they sat down on the ground in the shade of their favourite tree. Neji remembered every detail of it- down to the feel of the bark, and the smell of the sap.
She rested her head on the trunk of the tree, careful not to touch him. The fact that he was still engaged loomed between them and the silence seemed to stifle her senses and her mind.
"You still haven't answered my question," Neji said casually, but Tenten caught the underlying thoughts in his mind. He was also thinking about something else- but she could not read past the first layer of his mind. He was obviously making an effort to not think about it consciously, although it still troubled his mind.
"I was… married…" Tenten said slowly, and Neji froze.
"Who was it? Why did you leave him?" Neji said, and she could feel the anger rise to the surface of his mind.
Tenten was silent and looked away. That was all the answer he needed.
"Tell me," Neji said softly. It was similar to the calm before a storm. "Tell me who it was, and I swear I will make sure he will never see the next light of day."
The heat from his anger seemed to scorch her mind. She could taste it and smell it- it tasted and smelled like acrid, burning metal, and made her throat ache.
"I already have, Neji," she lied, surprised at the pain in her voice. "He no longer walks in our world."
"He? Who was it?" Neji asked again, grabbing her shoulders as he pulled her to face him. Tenten stared into his eyes, and it was every answer he had not wanted to see. She couldn't tell him with words- it was too painful.
"How long?" he said, his words barely audible.
"It was… three… years."
His chest heaving, Neji placed his forehead against hers, and whispered gently, "I'm so sorry, Tenten."
"What for?" she mumbled, her heart fluttering.
"I… it was my entire fault. If we had never-"
"You told me once," Tenten interrupted, "that if you had never met me, you would not have lived long enough to become the man you became. Look forward and travel through life with no regrets, Neji," she said firmly. She shrugged his hands away and turned back around, leaning against the tree once more.
Neji slid his arm around her shoulder and moved closer to her. Tenten bit her lip and turned her head away.
"It's been too long, Tenten," Neji said, and his breath was warm on her skin. "It's been too long without you here with me. Just stay like this, and we can…" Neji stopped.
"Pretend?" Tenten finished for him, plucking the thought out of his mind. She also saw the memory of a conversation he and Emi had, based around the same word. "Pretending is not good enough- and it's not right… not like this," she said, sighing. But she did not move away, and they pretended that it was just like old times. But they knew it was only, and almost, a dream.
Neji fingered the ends of her hair.
"Why is it like this?" Neji asked, curiously.
"Because it is how I want it to be. I don't want it to be a constant reminder of…" Tenten shut her eyes and Neji rubbed her shoulder gently, soothingly.
"How come… you can come to me like this? Are you…?" Neji tensed, and Tenten read the thoughts streaming through his mind.
Tenten shook her head.
"It's not like that… when I was …" Tenten deliberately skirted the word. "He trained me. He opened up my mind, made me capable of doing things I had never dreamed of before."
"Tenten- do you have any idea what the mental repercussions on that is? You could have developed a complete split personality. Your mind is obviously fragile and shaken since returning to Konoha and you can talk about it so casually? Why do you open your mind up to others?" he demanded, tilting her chin so she stared into his eyes.
"Don't you think I don't know that?" she slapped his hand away and stood up, backing into the light once more in the middle of the field. "I know it hurts- and it almost kills me sometimes! I know the aftershock and everything else that comes before it! I try and I try- but nothing can take it away!"
"Why?" Neji said, softly.
"Because it takes away everything. There is no longer any Tenten- there is only one mind out of many and I have the power to help them," she said, averting her eyes.
"Why? Why do you want to help them?"
"I don't know."
"Why? They don't understand you- I can see that. There is so much pain and doubt in your eyes, Tenten, and it hurts to see you like that…" Neji trailed off as he stood up.
"Everyone else thinks that I should just move on with my life, and everything will settle back down like it had three years ago, but it won't! It never will be the same again, not for me!
"The entire village- they just think it's such a big coincidence or it's just so unfortunate, but they avoid me anyway, like it was such a big disease. I've become a outcast and no one cares anymore!
"The girls are all busy with their kids, and everyone else is settling down, and finding that one special person that they will spend the rest of their life with- and don't you think I want that? I want it so bad that I cry over it, every night because I know you're with her, and counting down the days until you're married and I know I can do nothing about it! Even when I saw you- you smelled like sex- you'd slept with her that day, I could even taste her on your skin!
"And then…" Tenten took a deep breath, and did not notice the sky rapidly darkening with clouds. Neither did Neji. "And then I feel so sick of crying! And I ask myself time and time again why I just can't stop these stupid tears, and then it all comes down to the fact that I fell in love with you- and it has been the hardest thing I have ever had to do to just to think about you, and seeing the way that girl looks at you!" Neji walked up to her, wanting to just do something to make her stop talking, ripping his heart to pieces every time she said a word.
Tenten shrieked and slapped him away yet again. The rain began to fall from the sky and it was shockingly cold.
"Neji …" she sobbed. "I am so sorry… I can't- we can't do this. It hurts too much and we both know it! But know this… please, Neji – just stop loving me, okay? It would be the best thing to do…" the rain was soaking her clothes, and her hair clung to her skin as she turned away. Neji grabbed her hand, and tugged her to him.
"What about you?" he asked gruffly, his breaths coming out in small white puffs. "What will you do?"
Tenten was crying again and she stared defiantly up into his eyes.
"I don't know what I will do," she said weakly.
"Just promise me one thing," Neji said strongly.
"Anything…" she whispered in reply and Neji kissed her.
It was just the same as the one they had shared on the beach and in the house on that last night. Everything rational in their bodies screamed that it was wrong but they only knew one thing- the fierce, sensual feeling of their tongues just dancing in a terrifying battle that combined with the feeling of their over heated and over sensitive skin in the cleansing, pure rain…
They pulled away and Tenten pulled herself out of his grip, placing one hand on her heart and the other on her mouth. Neji could see that her eyes were clear with anguish, and sorrow that matched his own.
"Promise me that you'll be happy?" Neji pleaded.
"I can't," Tenten's voice broke. "I can't promise you that," she backed away and disappeared, fading out of his mind, and into the real, waking world.
----x----
Tenten rolled over. A stray tear rolled down her cheek as she opened her eyes.
"Neji," she whispered.
----x----
Neji woke and Emi rubbed his arm. She had heard him struggle in his sleep and knew that his dreams were very troubled indeed. Neji slapped her hand away as he bolted up in bed, his eyes seeing only Tenten's eyes, filled with misery and despair, and he rubbed his hand over his sore eyes, and left the bed without an explanation to Emi.
They both stood in front of the window and touched the glass pane, looking out onto the world outside, and knew that no matter what they said or did, they had just lied to each other. Tenten knew perfectly well that Neji would never stop loving her, and Neji knew that no matter what, Tenten would never be completely happy with the new life that she would lead- the path that he would not be able to walk beside her.
I just realized- this story is the biggest telegrapher I've ever read! I mean, it seems like everything's just mapped out from the beginning, you just might as well shoot them anyway… geez.