Disclaimer: Now matter how many times I wish upon a star, Loveless never becomes mine. Ah well, I'll just borrow the characters. I'd also like to state that I am not a psychologist, so anything in this fic dealing is psych stuff comes from one Wikipedia article or my own head.

Chapter Three: Amnesialess

Ritsuka sipped his chocolate milk and watched Youji-san and Natsuo-san carefully. His picked up his fork and pushed his pancakes around his plate discontentedly. The chocolate-chip pancakes had sounded like a good idea, but they had really been too sweet. He supposed that was what came of eating Western food for breakfast.

Either that or his tastes had changed in the five years he had missed.

Speaking of which…

"So, what's up with me and Soubi-san?" Ritsuka asked. He kept his voice relaxed. He wasn't an idiot. He may be…well, he supposed he wasn't actually ten anymore. But he did have a pretty good idea of what he and Soubi-san were.

Though maybe he had been jumping to conclusions…

"Sacrifice and Fighter," Natsuo-san answered.

Ritsuka gave him a blank look.

"Of course he doesn't know about that, Tsuo-chan," Youji-san informed his friend. He turned to Ritsuka. "The easiest way to say it, the way Soubi-san himself would say it, is you are Master and Servant."

"I'm his servant?" Ritsuka asked incredulously. There was no way in hell he was going to be someone's servant.

Youji-san shook his head, almost violently while Natsuo-san just burst out into laughter. "No, no, you've got it backwards!" Youji-san told him. "You're the Master. Soubi-san, the servant."

"Why would he take orders from a ten-year old?" Ritsuka asked. He glared at Natsuo-san who finally stopped laughing at his question.

"That's because you're the Sacrifice," Natsuo-san told him.

"Actually, Tsou-chan. Ritsuka-san isn't the Sacrifice. Soubi-san is the Fighter. Ritsuka-san can be whatever he wants," Youji-san told the red-head sitting next to him.

Natsuo-san shrugged. "Whatever. It still amounts to the same thing."

"What is a Sacrifice." Ritsuka was getting annoyed now. He wanted answers, preferably coherent ones.

"We'll let Soubi-san explain that to you…" Youji-san said. "We can't…"

"Actually, we can," Natsuo-san interrupted. He looked at his lover, an evil glint in his eyes.

Ritsuka looked up at the older boys, more than a little alarmed by Natsuo-san's sudden eagerness for something that Ritsuka did not know.

"And Soubi-san would kill us. No, Tsou-chan. We are not challenging Ritsuka."

"But its been so long, Ji-chan…" Natsuo-san was actually whining.

"I said no." Youji-san's tone became sharp.

To Ritsuka's surprise, Natsuo-san stopped his begging, even though it was clear he didn't want to.

"A Sacrifice and a Fighter are a team," Youji-san explained. "That's the most simple explanation. I'm sure next time the situation calls for it, Soubi-san will explain the rest to you.'

Ritsuka nodded. Master and Servant, Ritsuka could deal with. Especially if he was the Master. He supposed he would figure out how he got a servant later. "What happened to my memories of the last five years?"

Youji-san shrugged. "Don't know. I guess you'll have to ask your psychologist about that."

"Psychologist?"

"Yeah, you go to her every Thursday. 'Course, we're not really supposed to know that," Natsuo-san said. He seemed to have forgotten his earlier disappointment.

"We can take you to her after you finish eating," Youji-san said.

Ritsuka noticed the other two were already finished with their food. Reluctantly, he picked up his fork and picked at his pancakes. They really were too sweet.

"Why do I have a psychologist? Ritsuka asked between bites.

"After your brother died…"

"How did he die, anyway?"

The two boys looked at each other. "Later," Youji-san said. "Much later."

"Finish eating already," Natsuo-san said.

"What happened to my mother?" Ritsuka asked. She had been such a kind, nice woman…

The boys shrugged. "No idea. Not our business."

Ritsuka frowned. "Would Soubi-san know?"

Natsuo-san nodded. "I'm pretty sure. Soubi-san knows almost everything about you."

Ritsuka frowned. Had he told the blond everything about him? Or did the blond have some other way of gaining information? He supposed after his visit to the psychologist, he would have to visit Soubi-san and figure it all out.

Heh. Master and Servant. No wonder Soubi-san was uncomfortable with the honorific. For some reason, the thought of an uncomfortable Soubi-san pleased Ritsuka.

Ritsuka pushed his plate away. "I'm finished. How about we go see the doctor now?"

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Soubi couldn't decide if his world had ended had merely been put on standby. Ritsuka, his Ritsuka, was gone, probably for ever. The boy who had replaced him was a completely different personality from the boy Soubi had grown to love.

Soubi had always known that this would happen some day. Known, and feared.

After seeing his brother 'dead' in his chair at his elementary school, Ritsuka had entered a state of shock-induced amnesia. A completely new and different personality had been constructed to deal with the shock. One the stressor was removed, it only made sense that Ritsuka's original personality would return.

And now that Seimei was dead…

Soubi chocked back another sob. He had things to do today. He had put his life on hold for two days now. He had deadlines to make and paintings to finish.

Soubi let his head fall forward into his hands again. It was useless. Truly, it was. He would get nothing done today. He just wasn't going to muster the energy.

Physical pain, Soubi could deal with. He had dealt with it all his life.

Emotional pain was another matter entirely. He had survived by living for one person. Seimei.

And then, Ritsuka had replaced Seimei so completely that Soubi had begun to learn what it was like to live for himself. Soubi loved Ritsuka above and beyond his love for Seimei. He had consciously made the decision to leave the battle and let Ritsuka have his way with Seimei.

Still, he was glad that Ritsuka had not been the one to kill his brother.

Ritsuka.

Ritsuka-kun.

Ritsuka, his Ritsuka, was gone. As good as dead.

Soubi had known it would happen, had prepared himself emotionally for it.

That didn't change the fact that it still hurt like hell.

No matter how much it hurt, Soubi knew he could never bring himself to leave Ritsuka, just as he could never bring himself to leave Seimei. There would be no violet-eyed boy to rescue him from himself this time.

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A/N: Methinks I just made Ritsuka a bit…darker…than I had intended. Well, we'll see where this goes. For now, my original super-secret ending holds.

Also, is down so I can't check who reviewed. So just know that I appreciate all reviews muchly!