A/N: Thanks so much to Ana and Ki for sending me the emails about Lockhart's book and other werewolf ideas! You may have completely changed the outcome of my fanfics!

CHAPTER FIFTY

Misery

The snow was blowing outside, but Harry didn't bother to button his coat. Instead, he just kept putting one foot after the other, heading back towards the Ministry. He could hear Eva's soft footsteps behind him. She didn't speak. Harry could feel her wounds in the air. She was hurt and confused. He was afraid that if he spoke, he'd say the wrong thing. He was in no condition to comfort her at her darkest hour.

"My scarf!" she cried suddenly. Harry turned around and saw her searching her bare neck for it. Her skin was already red from the cold. "I left it in the pub." She turned around and started heading back down the street.

"Maybe you should leave it there," Harry muttered. He didn't think she heard him, but she did. She turned on her heel and threw up her hands in frustration.

"What is the matter with you!" she shouted, her temper flaring. There was at least ten feet between them on the deserted street, but it felt like she was yelling in his ear. She rushed forward with her index finger outstretched and poked him in the shoulder. "Do you mean to tell me that you, the famous Harry Potter, never kissed a girl before me?" she whispered hoarsely.

Harry felt his heart drop into his stomach. The guilt made him blush. Of course he'd had his share of romance. And he had kissed girls before Eva. He was being ridiculous. He was acting like a child.

"You never went on a date with a girl?" she continued, her voice growing louder. "You never bought her flowers or chocolates or scarves to seduce her? You can't fool me, Harry. At Hogwarts, you are a hero. You're a seeker. You're a Triwizard Tournament Champion. You're a leader. You are the heartthrob of dozens of girls." She took a step back from him and caught her breath. He thought he could hear her counting to five in her head, trying to calm down. "Aye, there may have been a time when I thought David was the one for me, but I learned real hard and real fast that we weren't meant to be. I'd rather not dwell on it, but if you want me to tell you every single thing that happened between us, I will. I'll do it if that's what it takes to convince you that you are the man I love and not him."

Harry gulped. "That's not necessary. I just…wish you would have mentioned it earlier."

Eva stared at him, her eyes piercing through the night like daggers. "I just thought you would have trusted me," she whispered, more hurt than angry. "Lord knows that I have faith in you. Now are you going to come with me to go and get that scarf or do I have to go alone?"

"I'll go," Harry replied quietly.

This time it was Eva who led and didn't look back. Harry felt foolish about the way he acted, but he couldn't help how he felt. He was just waiting for something to go wrong in their relationship, for all of the happiness she brought with her would disappear. It would be worse than death.

He could tell that she was still holding her tongue by the time they made it back to the pub. There were so many things she wanted to say to Harry but the guilt she felt about not telling him about her past with David kept her temper corked for the time-being. He was grateful.

Eva slipped back into the pub, hoping not to be noticed by Aunt Mae, who was whipping up a storm of drinks behind the bar. Harry had kept his hands shoved into his pockets because he'd forgotten his gloves back at Hogwarts and took them out to breathe on them in the cool night air. When he did, the Moon Guide rolled out of his pocket and fell to the ground. It was only a shade whiter than the snow, and he would have missed it if he hadn't heard it hit a bare part of the sidewalk with a quiet clank.

He was just too cold to pick it up. His hands were freezing, and he was wishing that he'd gone into the pub with Eva because at least he could have warmed up a little.

"Accio Moon Guide," he said quietly, carefully keeping his wand hidden in his sleeve and holding out the palm of his other hand. The small ball flew off the ground and into his hand, and then slipped it back into his pocket. Eva came back out of the pub with the scarf draped around her neck.

"I think the temperature's dropped," she muttered. Harry accepted this statement as a sign of peace between them. They walked next to each other, though still not touching, yet civil.

"Are you really going to lose your job?" Harry asked her in the darkness.

"Afraid so," Eva replied. "I… I still can't believe what happened. He… he knows that there is such thing as magic. I mean, before I met you, I'd had my share of experiences with wizards that I wasn't aware of. But thinking back, David's had even more."

Harry digested this for a moment. Was there really a Muggle who had never been touched by something unexplainable? Some small detail that kept them awake at night? Or did they all walk around knowing that things weren't quite what they always seemed?

"I know I shouldn't be admitting it," Harry said into the quiet night, "but I'm glad it didn't work out tonight. I know that you'll be out of a job and that everything you've worked so hard for will be gone, but at least you're safe."

Eva stopped in her tracks. Immediately, Harry knew he should have just kept his mouth shut. "Is that why you didn't say a bloody word through the whole thing? Because you wanted it to fail?"

"Not exactly… I…"

"You wanted me to fail, didn't you? You wanted this whole operation to fall flat on its face so that I would be safe!" She threw the word back at him like it didn't mean anything. "You think you can protect me? Keep me safe? I don't want to be safe, Harry! I want the world to be safe! I want Muggles to be safe! I want Nora to be safe!"

Harry sighed. "Eva, I'm sorry. I can't help it; it's the truth." He tried to put his hands on her shoulders to reason with her, but she pushed him away. She glared at him with those piercing blue eyes and spoke harshly.

"You need to learn that I don't need you to keep me out of trouble. I may have to put up with your arguments about how Muggles can do nothing against Voldemort, but I refuse to put up with the argument that I cannot take care of myself. I am deeply offended that you think I was some stupid damsel in distress before you came along. I was fine before you came into my life. I supported myself, I supported my little sister, and I was safe. I'm afraid you are mistaken if you think that you are my knight in shining armor."

"But I don't think that," Harry replied. "I just think you're naive. You don't know what you're up against. Reading about Voldemort and his minions in a Ministry report or a newspaper isn't the same as fighting him face-to-face. You don't understand."

"I do understand, Harry. I understand perfectly." For a moment, he thought she was hiding something from him, but it must have been his imagination. "I've just had the worst night of my entire short career at the Ministry; I've lost my friend, my integrity, and apparently my honor in your heart," she said, bringing up Harry's delightful bit of untrustworthiness of David. "And now you're saying that you don't believe in me."

Harry didn't know why she making this into an even bigger argument about something totally unrelated. "Eva, that's not it at all."

"Yes, it is." She started walking swiftly towards the Ministry. Harry tried to stop her, to pull her around so that she would look into his eyes and see that he was merely worried about her. He could see hot tears falling down her cheeks. She just wouldn't look him in the eyes.

"Until you decide to have some faith in me," she said, "I don't want to see you."

Stunned, Harry stopped in his tracks. Eva said nothing more and hurried over to the phone booth to get into the Ministry. Did she just break up with him? Did she really just say that she didn't want to see him?

He felt physical pain in her chest as he watched her small figure disappear inside the phone booth. It was so quick… was it really an end? He didn't even know what she meant. He didn't know what she wanted from him.

Harry let the fury rise inside of him because it was better to feel angry than to be hurt. Fine, he could stay away from her. He didn't need her. He may always be in love with her, but she was wrong. It would only be a matter of days before she realized what a huge mistake she made and come crawling back to him. Maybe just a few hours.

He could tough it out. He had faith—lots of faith. He had faith that he was right.

He was wrong. It only took one night of restless sleep to realize how wrong he was.

Perhaps he was under the illusion that he had saved Eva a few times. But the truth was, she never needed saving. When she battled that bough of Devil's Snare, even Mr. Weasley said that she kept her head and was quite competent saving herself. He'd tried to "save" her from the white knight's kiss at the Royal Realm, when she didn't need his help at all. In fact, he'd done nothing but mess up her life from the moment he walked into it. The most recent example being that he didn't help her at all with her confrontation with David.

But he also realized that sometimes, it wasn't because he didn't have faith in her that he wanted to keep her safe. It was just because he loved her so much that he couldn't help but do everything in his power to keep her out of danger.

The first week without her, he had kept himself under the illusion that one morning he'd go to breakfast, and Hedwig would deliver him a letter from her, whether it was an apology or more fighting words. But no words came at all.

The second week he began to think of ways to win her back without admitting that he was wrong. Maybe if he overwhelmed her with gifts or some kind of forgiveness potion she would come back to him, no questions asked.

The third week he spent one entire dinner period making a list of all the ways he could show her that he believed in her.

Ways to Win Eva Back

1. Stage a situation where I need to be saved, then let her save me, and finish with an outstanding, "I knew you could do it," kind of speech.

2. Apologize over a candle-lit dinner where she's only allowed to wear the scarf I bought her.

3. Just tell her that I really do have faith in her, and that I'm sorry I doubted her for everything, especially about accusing her of kissing David and not knowing what she's up against.

4. If none of the above work: beg, plead, and weep for forgiveness.

"What are you doing, Harry?" Nora sat down next to him, setting a satchel of books next to her on the bench. She studied the paper Harry was writing on.

"Nothing," Harry replied quickly and rolled up the parchment.

"Look, I know that you and Eva are fighting right now," she said, pushing her dark curls out of her eyes. "But I also know that she loves you and she's miserable without you. Just as miserable as you are without her."

"Is it that obvious?" Harry questioned.

"Kind of," she said. "Sorry." Harry gave a loud sigh. "Don't worry, I know it's not over between the two of you. She'll come around eventually."

"You really think so?"

"I know so," Nora declared. "I've got faith in her."

Harry's shoulders slumped. That was the whole problem. "And how, exactly, do you show her that you believe in her?"

Nora hesitated. "I'm not sure. It just sort of happens naturally. I mean, she's my big sister. I know she'll always be there for me. It's the same way she has faith in you. She knows that you'll always be there for her."

So how could he show that he knew she'd always be there for him?

"Harry, have you ever read Wandering with Werewolves by Guilderoy Lockhart?" she questioned in a low voice.

"Yes, actually," Harry said. "Lockhart was the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher during my second year." He recalled the professor painfully, and a bit sadly for his current condition at St. Mungo's. "It's a load of rubbish—why do you ask?"

"Well, in the one chapter, he mentions something about a cure for a recently-bit village werewolf."

Harry could see where she was going with this. "Nora, I really don't think you should get your hopes up. Lockhart was a fake. He didn't really do any of the things he writes about. He was really just a master of memory charms and a manipulator."

"I know, I know. I've read all of the articles about him. But Harry, don't you see? Someone must have done it, or else he wouldn't have put it in his book. It must be true."

"Not necessarily. He was a liar. He could have made the whole thing up."

"But we could try what he says in the book. And if it doesn't work, maybe we could find the village where it happened, or even the witch or wizard who did it…"

"They wouldn't even remember it," Harry interrupted.

"But there have been cases where the spell has been performed wrong, or the memory charm has left holes in the person's mind. Maybe there would still be something there. Some hint or clue that could lead to a cure for Eva."

"I doubt it," Harry replied. "It would be like looking for a needle in a haystack."

"But still worth a shot!" Nora exclaimed. "Harry, don't you want her to be cured? Don't you want her to be normal?"

"Of course," Harry said. Although, he was pretty sure that Eva could never be a normal Muggle again. "I just don't think that the key to her cure is in one of Lockhart's unreliable best-sellers."

Nora looked positively hurt by Harry's conclusion. She picked up her satchel of books and got up from the table. "Eva's right," she agreed bitterly. "You really don't have faith in anyone at all." Stunned, Harry watched as the first-year marched over to the other end of the Gryffindor table and sat next to Dennis Creevey.

Harry slammed his head down on the table. Now both the Finnigan women were mad at him. What had he done to deserve such punishment?

By the night before the full moon, Harry still made no move to makeup with Eva. He'd started dozens of letters to her, but none were especially convincing, and they were usually either filled with fake remorse or angry things he wished he would have said that night they fought.

"Something's a bit off about you tonight, Harry," Neville said at the end of the D.A. meeting that night.

Harry didn't bother to deny it. He'd been quite distracted and would have been surprised if his friends would even be able to perform half the charms they'd practiced again. He would definitely have to have a review at the next meeting.

"It's a girl, isn't it?" Dean said. "You can tell by the sick look in his eyes."

Harry's roommates, who had stuck around after the meeting because of his obvious lack of enthusiasm, were now crowded around him, shaking their heads.

"It's that Muggle girl, isn't it? The one from the paper?" Neville asked.

"Hey, that's me cousin you're talking about," Seamus interrupted. "And if I know anything about Eva, it's that she's a handful." The boys laughed.

Harry couldn't join in. They spoke of her like they knew her, or knew of others like her. Ron practically read his mind. He clapped Harry on the back. "Some girls are just too complex. Too much of a handful. They're not worth it, Harry."

He shrugged Ron's hand away. "How would you know?"

"Yeah, I hear Luna's got you wrapped around her finger, doing her homework for her and all," Dean laughed.

"We're just friends," Ron said stubbornly. "And trust me, it's going to stay that way. I've learned my lesson. Girls are all bad news."

"Say, let's have a guy's night tonight," Dean said suddenly. "We'll stay up late and break out the butterbeer and talk about Fleur Delacour and how she totally blew off Ron when he asked her to the Yule Ball."

"But we've got class tomorrow," Neville reminded him.

"So what? I think this is just what Harry needs right now," Dean said with a mischievous grin.

"What do you say Harry? Are you up for it?" Ron asked.

Harry grinned. A guy's night. Maybe Dean was right. He was sick of all the drama and heartache that so many girls brought with them. But tonight was the full moon. It was his chance to see Eva in person and apologize to her.

But why apologize when he could have a night of fun?

"I'm in. I've got to go take care of something first, though."

Using the Marauder's Map, Harry made sure it was safe for each one of the Gryffindor boys to make it back up to the tower. Then he made sure that no one was in his way as he scurried down to Dumbledore's office.

Because of the D.A. meetings, and probably because of Eva's arrival at Hogwarts, Dumbledore stopped keeping him for Legilimency training on the nights before the full moon. He felt a little guilty for not taking advantage of this time to spend it with Eva, but he didn't think he was ready to go and apologize to her. Just one more night in a silent argument wouldn't hurt.

But part of him felt incredibly guilty thinking that Eva would have to go through her transformation thinking that he didn't care about her.

However, he stood firm in his decision not to see her. He told Dumbledore that he wouldn't be going down to the kitchens that night. The headmaster's eyes were sad as he nodded solemnly. "As you wish, Harry," he replied. Again, Harry felt guilty. Dumbledore didn't know that he wasn't visiting Eva because he wanted to have a night of fun with his friends.

By the time he made it back up to Gryffindor Tower, he felt like the dumbest person on the planet. What was he thinking? Eva would be worried about him by now. Or maybe she didn't expect him to show up at all. Maybe she didn't even want him to show up.

This kind of thinking only led Harry into an ignorant stupor. For hours that night, he joked around with the guys and was under the illusion that he could be out of love with Eva for the time-being. However, after consuming nearly a gallon of butterbeer and experiencing a definite sugar high, he realized that all he was doing was numbing the pain. Truly, he was miserable without her.

When he and the other sixth-year boys crawled into bed as the sun peaked over the horizon, he found he couldn't sleep. Neville's snoring was overpowering, and Ron was having a very heated discussion with Hermione in his sleep. All he could do was lay and think of Eva and how stupid he'd been. How could he sleep knowing that she was at Hogwarts and they weren't together? Could she still love him after all these weeks they hadn't spoken?

He didn't really think he had a problem with faith before. There had been a number of instances where he relied on others when his life depended on it. He showed his faith in Dumbledore during his second year while fighting the basilisk, and was rewarded with Godric Gryffindor's sword. He had faith in Ron and Hermione, trusting them with his deepest and darkest of secrets. He trusted Sirius with his frustrations of school and Voldemort and girls…

But Sirius wasn't there for him anymore.

He realized with a start that since Sirius had disappeared, he'd only relied on himself. It wasn't just because Eva was a girl that he didn't trust her—it was because he loved her so much and he knew how much it would hurt if she wasn't there for him one day. If something happened to her and she was ripped from his life forever, he didn't know how he could go on existing. He'd already been through it with Sirius; he couldn't do it again with Eva. Not when she meant so much to him.

And now all the faith that she had placed in him was dwindling. Even though she said she didn't need a knight in shining armor, that didn't mean that she didn't have one in him. Perhaps she'd been waiting for him to show up all night, alone and in pain on some cot in a room off the kitchen, doubting him. Cursing him.

No, Eva was stronger than that. She wouldn't be sitting around, waiting for him. She was stubborn and smart. He had faith in her.

He really did.