Kiss THIS!

Fridays are my weak-days, so if I miss a few Fridays…well, I's sorry.

This is humorous and horrendously out of character for Aang, but I got it from Anonde's Rebuilding last chapter and my own trouble writing from the little bald dude's point of view.

You can also think of it as the Unmatchmaker's Wedding, if you so choose.  In fact, I may go back and add this to a chapter in Unmatchmakers, because it fits the humor so well.

Rocks Fall (Everyone Dies)

"You know what," the Avatar, now a boy of seventeen, growled to his lemur. "Screw it. Rocks fall, everyone dies."

This was, perhaps, not the smartest thing to say given the present company. The future Fire Lord, his sister, a Master Waterbender, her brother, and an earthbender with pretty hair all stared at the Avatar as though he had grown an extra head.

"Aang," Zuko asked tentatively. "Are you okay?"

Aang buried his head on the table. "No, no—I'm fine now. I've just figured out the solution to everything: Rocks fall, everyone dies."

Katara clicked her tongue. "Listen, Aang, what's wrong?"

"People are what's wrong!" The Avatar yelled, jumping up from his seat, his face turning red from anger. "If it isn't the Earth Kingdom, it's an assassination attempt. If it isn't the Water Tribes, it's still an assassination attempt. And if it isn't an assassination attempt, it's a damn rebellion within the Fire Nation!" Aang roared, tripping over a chair as he paced through the room. "Why can't everyone just get along?"

"Is there anything we can help you with?" Zuko asked, placing a comforting hand on Aang's shoulder.

Aang looked up, wide-eyed and perhaps a little desperate. "Yes, actually, you can help me." He pointed from Zuko to Katara readily. "You two--get married. Start making babies." The pair in question just blinked at him. "Right now! We aren't getting any younger here!"

Identical blushes and stammerings found their way to the pair, each coming up with excuse after excuse as the airbender frowned. He was not going to hear it!

"And you, Azula…Marry him." He grabbed Haru and forced Azula to hold his hand. The earthbender blushed. Azula scowled and let go of Haru's hand instantly.

"Why, exactly?" She growled at him.

Aang sighed. "Because if you do, the Fire Nation Royalty will be connected to all other living nations. No more assassination attempts!"

Sokka raised an eyebrow. "There were assassination attempts?"

Aang pointed to Zuko furiously, who was still blushing and trying to come up with a good excuse. "Three on his life this morning alone!"

"Can you not try to make peace between the nations?" Katara asked, still trying to swallow a blush that seemed permanently stuck to her face.

"I have!" Aang screeched. "Nobody listens! Apparently, marriage is the only answer!" He paused, thinking it over. "Well, unless you want to go with plan A, which was—"

"Rocks fall, everyone dies." Azula said shortly. "Sounds good to me! Because I am not marrying some filthy, no-name, penniless…"

Aang rolled his eyes. "It's him or Sokka." He shifted his thumb towards Sokka, who looked as though he was going to kill the Avatar for even suggesting such a thing.

"…Handsome, strong, and powerful earthbender with the most gorgeous hair." She grabbed onto Haru fearfully, as though the mere thought of being stuck with Sokka for all eternity was enough for her to change her mind. "How could I have ever gotten so lucky? Thank you and I'll take your blessings, Great Avatar." She grabbed Haru's hand and began dragging him out of the building.

"But wait! Aren't we suppose to—" But then Azula gave him a glare that said "if-you-don't-agree-to-marry-me-I'll-kill-you-and-eat-your-liver", then he immediately felt better about his new wife-to-be.

Sokka blinked. "Thank. You. God." Was all he was able to utter.

"Right, so the Earth Kingdom will be well off." Aang noticed before turning his attention back to Zuko and Katara. "Now, you two…will you marry each other?" There was a childlike innocence still left in the Avatar that leered beneath his eyes as he looked to his two old friends in desperation.

"I-I suppose." Zuko whispered slowly. "It's just, I wasn't expecting—"

Aang brushed him off. "The only reason I ask is because you're my friends." He blinked. "And royalty, of course, but friends still. What do you think, Katara?"

She blushed, wiping her cheek musingly. "I guess if Zuko is willing to do it, then so will I." She felt a warm hand grasp hers as she looked up, seeing the firebender smile back at her.

"Excellent!" Aang cheered, before turning his attention to Sokka. "Sokka, hand me that book. I've got a wedding to perform and—"

"You mean now?!" The recently engaged pair asked, staring shocked at their friend.

Aang rolled his eyes. "Of course I mean now! The sooner the---hang on." He ran to the window and threw it open. He lifted his arms and soon a wave of fire spread down the roof, burning the evil ninja assassins who had come.

"Sorry about that. Anyway, yes, we're doing the wedding right now. I'm a monk, that makes me fully qualified to perform weddings. Sokka can be the witness." The air boy snapped. He opened the book in his hand and began reciting from memory, never noticing that the book was titled "Top Three Reasons Why Multiracial Marriages Don't Work," but that wasn't the point.

Actually, the book may have been "Appa and Momo's Road To Tru Lurve." But that wasn't really the point, either.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to wit—you know what, screw it." Aang threw the book over his shoulder. He grabbed his friends by the hand and looked at them, pointedly. "Do you, Zuko, take Katara to be your lawfully married wife?"

This has got to be the craziest wedding I've ever been involved in. "I do."

"And do you, Katara, take Zuko to be your lawfully married husband?"

This has got to be the craziest wedding I've ever been involved in. "I do."

Aang smiled. "Good—I now pronounce you husband and wife. Go. Make. Babies. Now. World needs heirs to prove that the union happened and all that jazz."

Judging by the kiss that followed, Aang had a feeling that 'making-babies' was not going to be a problem at all.

(It might even work better than if rocks fell and everyone died.)

XXX
END

Yes, that was crazy and random, but oh-so-fun. Aang is hilarious when you want him to be.

On another random note: This is how you know you are an Avatard:

My friend asked me to make an icon for him, one that said: "First, there was Zuko. Then, Momo. Now, hippies." I laughed and told him to write it down for me so I'd remember.

Well, my mom found the note he wrote. She came bursting into my room, screaming, "IF YOU HAVE TO PASS NOTES, WHY DON'T YOU WRITE SOMETHING THAT MAKES SENSE!"

My sister and I giggled.

Jak