Kiss THIS!

This…this is crack. I'm sorry, it's just pure crack. You have my deepest apologies.

OMFGIALMOSTHAVESIXHUNDREDREVIEWSOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGSQUEESQUEESHOWTHEHELLDIDTHISHAPPENOMGOMGDFJLAS;42398SJDFHW!12131231!21!

No offense to anyone who actually likes the pairings I make fun of in this chapter, I'm just being silly. I'm actually a multishipper myself (though Zutara is my OTP) it was just way too easy to make fun of the others.

And if Mike and Bryan (The Creators) ever really read this (I doubt they do, but still): OMGILOVEYOUHAVEMYBABIES!

Jak

Jakia's Fairy Godfathers

The girl of seventeen looked blankly at the two men in front of her.

"Well?" One of the guys asked. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

Again the girl stared. "I thought I was suppose to have a fairy god-mother."

"That's a stupid generalization and a sexist comment. We'd appreciate it if you'd stop that." The other guy, this one bald, said plainly. "Be grateful you have us."

The red-haired girl scowled. "Sorry for being sexist. Does this mean I get a cookie?"

The first fairy godfather tilted his glasses. "Cookies are later, if you behave yourself." The girl straightened up instantly.

"Sweet. Anyway, I have a list for you," She pulled a rather long and dangerous-looking list out of her back pocket. "First off, I want millions upon millions of dollars. I don't really need it, but it all looks so pretty that I just have to have it! I also want a pony, an X-box 360, hundreds of thousands of adoring fans, another pony, a sexy pool boy (preferably Orlando Bloom or hotter), a pool of jell—"

The bald one held up his hand to stop her. "Listen, we can't give you all of this stuff."

The girl scowled again. "Why not? Aren't you my fairy godfathers?"

The browned haired one with glasses (I really ought to give them names) frowned. "We are, but not like that. We can only grant certain things."

"What sort of things?"

The bald one looked down shyly. "Well, actually, we can only give you one thing."

"Screw you, then!" The girl huffed, and began to turn around towards her computer. "Cheapskates!"

The other one rolled his eyes. "Look, we're only doing this for you because you've almost gotSIX-HUNDRED reviews, or else we wouldn't bother!"

The girl peered at her computer wordlessly. "Six-hundred reviews? Really?"

The pair stared at each other as if they weren't for sure what they were doing. "Uh, you didn't know that?"

The girl paused, contemplating what they said. "I guess I did, I just didn't realize it…wow, six-hundred reviews! I guess they must like me or something!"

The bald one hit himself; the brown-haired one did the same. Really, they could have just hit each other. It would have been more interesting in the long run.

The girl started to cry. "I've never gotten this many reviews before! What am I going to do?" She sniffed loudly. "They like me, they really like me!"

"Woman, you get like nearly-twenty emails a day on average from review alerts! Does that not tell you anything!" The pair sighed heavily.

"THOSE DON'T COUNT!" She continued to cry. "Oh my God, they like me!"

The bald one let out a heavy breath. "Just make a damn wish already."

"You haven't told me what I can wish for yet!" The girl complained.

The other one smiled, and put his hand on the girl's shoulder. "Wish for your absolute favorite pairing on Avatar, and we'll make it come true."

"Really?" The girl asked with wide eyes.

"Yep, really." The pair smiled. "But be kinda vague about it. We can't make things too obvious, you know."

"Hmm." The girl mumbled, a million and one ideas coming to mind. She knew what she had to do, though. "I wish for the child of fire and the child of water to get together." She said, knowing good and well what pairing they would give her.

"Seriously?" The bald one asked, a curious glint in his eyes.

The brown one frowned. "Well, I guess we can make it work—yeah, yeah, we can make it work." He twirled his sparkly wand around and made a nice poofy noise. "Come this time tomorrow, Jakia, you're OTP will be canon!"

The girl, Jakia, just grinned. "I look forward to it! Can I have a cookie now?"

The bald one waved his wand and gave her a cookie before turning to his partner. "Finally, Bryan! We can get out of these pink—things."

XXX

The next day, Jakia watched Avatar with double the excitement.

Zutara's going to be canon, zutara's going to be canon…

"What are you so excited about?" Her sister asked.

Jakia rolled her eyes. "Brand spanking new Avatar, what's not to be happy about?"

"Avatar doesn't come on Tuesday nights!"

"It does now!" and the two girls sat down on the couch with the intention of watching a zutara-filled episode.

XXX

"Oh, Sokka…I…"

"Don't worry, Azula, everything will be alright, I promise."

"I love you, Sokka."

"…I love you too, Azula."

The two began to make-out almost instantly.

Jakia began to cry. It wasn't fair, damnit, it just wasn't fair!

Two spinney bobs landed in her room. "Hey, Jakia, what's—Oh no, what's wrong?" Bryan asked, looking at her curiously.

"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!" She cried.

"Er, believe it or not, we don't." Mike said shyly.

"MY OTP ISN'T CANON! YOU SAID YOU'D MAKE MY OTP CANON!"

"Yegads, girl, lay off the capslock! You could kill a guy with those things!" Bryan called out.

"And what do you mean, your OTP isn't canon? You said a child of fire and a child of water—can't get more fiery and watery than Sokka/Azula!"

The girl just glared. "Think a little more on it and surprise me for real, tomorrow."

XXX

The very next episode had Iroh and Gran-gran getting it on.

XXX

"…So, did we get it right this time, Jak?" Mike asked tentatively.

"I HATE YOU!"

"…I take it we did something wrong?"

"GO TO HELL!"

"Yep, we screwed up."

"GO FIX IT!"

"Will do. See you tomorrow!"

XXX

"Egads, my friend, what are we doing wrong?" Bryan asked, a ball of torn paper in his hands. "We've thought of every pairing possible! What's left?"

Mike looked down at Bryan sadly. "Maybe we're thinking too much in the box. Maybe we gotta look out of the box."

Bryan's eyes went wide. "You don't mean…you can't mean!" Mike nodded.

"I do…My friend, we're going to have to do…" He took a deep breath before saying this.

"Slash pairings."

XXX

"Oh, Azula, I have never loved anyone so much as you…"

"No, Katara, it is I who is so deeply in love with you…"

Jakia gagged.

"MIKE! BRYAN!"

"…what the hell did we do this time?"

("The caps-lock, girl, the caps-lock! Turn it off, turn it off!")

"YOU STILL HAVEN'T FOUND MY OTP!"

The two began swearing profoundly.

XXX

The next episode had Sokka and Zuko mud wrestling naked.

"There, is this better?" Mike asked, exasperated.

Jakia eyed the TV closely. "It's…it's better. Much better, but it's still not my OTP."

Bryan sighed. "I give up. What's your OTP?"

The girl rolled her eyes. "Zutara, of course."

Mike and Bryan stared. "Are you…are you serious?"

"Of course. What else would I ship?"

The two let out a sigh of relief. "Oh thank God."

"Why didn't you just say so?"

"I did! You told me to be vague!"

"Child of fire and child of water---that could be anyone!"

"You're an idiot!"

"ALRIGHT!" Mike yelled, breaking the two from fighting. "We get it. Zutara in the next episode."

Bryan growled. "I wish you would have just told us that. Do you know how many spare zutara episodes we have locked in the basement? Honestly, we cut so much zutara stuff it isn't even funny…"

XXX

The next episode had Zuko and Katara kissing.

Everyone was happy.

Except for the people who ship other things, but they kinda enjoyed it, too. (but never admitted it out loud.)

And the people who read this rather than an actual chapter, they were kinda pissed too. They wanted a drabble, not a stupid self-insert chapter about nothing.

But Jakia just wanted to say one thing:

THANK YOU FOR SIX-HUNDRED REVIEWS!

XXX
END

No, seriously, thank you! I've never had this many reviews in my life, all together! It's…amazing! I hope you aren't mad at me for a filler chapter, but still, I had to say something! I'm just in awe…You guys, though, you really are the best. I love putting up a chapter right before I go to school or work, because I come home and there are so many reviews! It's just amazing that someone who lives in Nowheresville can get so many people to like a story just because I update everyday! Hell, I wouldn't even say I'm creative, but man, you guys make me feel so good about myself…when ff isn't working, it's like my ego dies because I'm so use to getting feedback from you guys.

I love you, all of you. Each in your own special way.

:kisses:

Jak