Chapter Seven

It was quiet. He liked it. It gave him a time to be alone and shift through the memories that had returned in the week he had been at the Avengers Tower. He wasn't James Buchanan Barnes yet, but he was getting there which made him have faith.

Bucky was sitting in the living room in his and Steve's floor of the tower. He just sat there staring out the window at the buildings outside. It was early afternoon and the sun shone through the window casting a glow on the wooden floor. He looked up when he heard Steve's bedroom door open. He saw his friend in a pair of sweat pants, T-shirt, and running shoes.

"Hey, Bucky," Steve said, walking over to him. He raised an eyebrow seeing as he had left his friend sitting on the couch since after they ate breakfast. "How long have you been out here?"

Bucky shrugged. "…I haven't really uh gotten up."

Steve chewed his cheek for a minute before opening his mouth only to be interrupted by the elevator doors opening up. Barry and Sam walked off, both in similar fashion to what Steve was wearing. They greeted the two with smiles and hellos, Steve returning them with a smile while Bucky gave a quick nod. The brown haired man gave a small smile to the two. After living in the tower for a week he was slowly getting used to being around so many people. He wasn't as comfortable with them as Steve was, but he was slowly getting comfortable.

"You ready, Steve?" Sam asked. "I've been meaning to get back out since DC."

"Why? Eager to have me lap you?" Steve questioned with a grin.

Barry snorted. "Seriously? Weren't you a soldier or something, Sam?"

"Hey, you try racing this guy," Sam defended.

"Excuses, excuses," Barry said with a chuckle, waving his hand dismissively. He turned to Bucky with a smile. "You wanna come running with us, Bucky? I think Steve could use someone to keep up with him from what I've heard."

Sam glared at the light brown haired man next to him. "We'll see how well you do running against them. I'm pretty sure Bucky can tag team with Steve and out run me and you."

Steve laughed as he turned to Bucky. "What do you say?"

"Bucky hesitated, looking at one man to the next. "I uh…I don't really feel like…going out," he said, looking down at his lap when he finished.

Steve pursed his lips. "Alright. We'll be back in thirty minutes or so. Will you be fine by yourself?"

Bucky let out a small chuckle. He was grateful for Steve's help. After everything he did for Steve when they were growing up it was his turn to take care of him. "Yeah…I'll be fine."

"Just make sure you don't throw a wild party while we're gone," Barry joked. "That's Tony's job."

"Yeah, isn't that the best idea," Steve said, rolling his eyes.

"Speaking of Tony," Sam said, looking at Bucky, "he's upstairs if you want to hang out with someone. I'm sure he'd like the company."

Barry laughed. "He'd like someone to distract him from going to a meeting with Pepper. She was looking for him earlier. Oh and there's also Bruce in the labs. He might be a better choice if you want quiet company."

Steve shook his head with a smile and turned back to his friend. "We'll be back soon. See ya, Buck."

Bucky nodded and waved as the elevator closed. He sat in silence once more, staring at the metal doors. He would have gone with them, gone out and gotten some air. However, after yesterday's relapse he was scared. He didn't want to hurt anyone. He had hurt Steve back in DC, he hurt Tracey, almost attacked Barry when they first met, he hurt Bruce, and now Dave. He felt he needed to be away from people for a bit. Although, he knew that staying away and hiding wouldn't help his recovery.

He sighed and ran a hand down his face. He couldn't sit around any longer. He needed to move around.

He ended up wandering around the tower. In the week he had stayed there he hadn't seen anything but his and Steve's floor and the top floor. On his walk around he had discovered there was a gym on the bottom level, a garage with plenty of cars (most likely Tony's he thought), then there was the lobby. He had gone through it the day Steve and Tracey took him around New York. He avoided that area. He didn't want to see anyone who came and went. Other floors were either offices or extra floors for guests or other people who lived there – i.e. Happy.

Eventually he made his way up to the top floor. There he saw a head of dark hair at the bar and heard them call out to him.

"Buckster!" Tony called, a grin on his face. He stood behind the bar, pouring himself a drink.

Bucky stood where he was, shifting from one leg to the other. "Hi," he eventually greeted.

"Want a drink?" the billionaire asked, holding up his glass for emphasis.

Bucky shook his head. He watched as Tony shrugged in acceptance and made his way to the kitchen where he sat at the counter. Bucky stood there, staring at the man across the room from him. Images began to flash through his mind again.

There was a car. Gun fire. A crash. And a familiar face.

He took a step back, eyes wide. His breathing became rapid. Tony raised a questioning eyebrow at him.

"You okay there?"

Bucky continued to stare with wide eyes as the scene replayed in his head.

It was a memory. A memory of one of his missions. He knew the face of the person he killed. It was a friend from the forties. It was Howard Stark.

He remembered Steve had said that Tony was Howard's son. He had killed Tony's dad. He remembered the entire mission. He could picture and hear the crash. He cringed. How could he face Tony? Does he know?

He looked up at Tony and again Tony gave him a raised eyebrow.

"Seriously. Are you okay over there Bucksicle?"

Bucky nodded his head quickly and rushed over to the couch. There he did what he had done on his and Steve's floor: stare out the window. But this time instead of reliving multiple memories he was reliving only the car crash over and over again.

He clenched his hands, squeezing his eyes shut, hoping to get the images out of his head. It was futile though. The memory was even clearer when he closed them. He peeked over to Tony who was pouring another glass for himself. How could he live in the same house as the son of the man he killed? The man he once called a friend?

His and Tony's head snapped up when the voice of JARVIS broke the silence.

"Mr. Stark, Miss Potts needs you in the meeting with the new clients in an hour. She says it's important."

Tony sighed. "Alright. Tell her I'll be down in five." He tossed back the last of his drink. "I'll see you around Bucksicle," he said, giving a salute before heading to the elevator. "Didn't really feel like changing into a suit today," he mumbled as the doors closed.

Bucky sat in silence once more. The scene continued to play in his mind. He hated it. He wanted to scream. Punch something. He wanted it to stop.

Maybe he could watch some TV to get his mind off of the memory. He looked up at the giant TV on the wall across from him. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. Technology has changed since the forties. Things were bigger, brighter, smarter. He looked down at the remote on the coffee table in front of him. There were basically a thousand buttons on it. He remembered back in the forties televisions didn't have remotes. It was just a few knobs you had to turn. He grabbed the remote and stared at it. He was confused. He had no idea what to do with it. He got up and examined the TV. There weren't any knobs, just more buttons, and they were on the underside of the it. He huffed. He sat back on the couch and continued to stare at the remote. With his brow furrowed he pressed a random button. Nothing happened. He pressed another and yet again nothing happened. His brow furrowed even more. He wasn't in the mood to figure out how to work this on his own and with Tony gone he had no one to ask for help. He continued pressing more buttons, but still the TV remained black.

He was close to throwing the remote through the window when he heard someone speak up.

"Need some help?"

Bucky turned around and saw Tracey standing a few feet behind the couch, Dexter at her heels. She was wearing a pair of jean shorts and a simple tank top. In her arms she carried her laptop.

She smiled at him as she made her way to the other side of the couch where he sat. She placed her computer on the coffee table and plopped down on the couch next to him. The puppy jumped up between them and put his paws on Bucky's thigh, barking to be petted. The super soldier chuckled lightly and scratched the pup's ears receiving a furiously wagging tail and Dexter licking his hand.

Tracey looked at him, smiling warmly at him as she waited for him to answer. When he didn't say anything she spoke again. "You're not the only one to feel dumb and helpless when it comes to turning on a TV. First time I was here I had no clue how to turn it on. Heck," she laughed, "in high school whenever I babysat. I always sat in the living room until the parents came home. I never knew how to work their TVs and didn't want to break it or something. These days they make turning a TV on so much more complicated than it needs to be." She gently took the remote from him. "For this TV you just have to press this button," she said, pointing to a button at the top. "And this one," she pointed to another one two over from the first. She pushed both buttons and in an instant the TV screen was glowing. "There you go!" she said with a smile, handing Bucky back the remote.

Bucky nodded and gave her a small smile. "Thank you."

"Not a problem," she said, smiling back.

She grabbed her laptop and placed it on her lap. Bucky watched for a second as she turned it on and began to type away at the keyboard. He turned back to the television and stared curiously and befuddled at the show that was on. He looked back at the remote, trying to figure out how to change the channel.

He turned back to the blonde female next to him. "Uh…Tracey," he said.

"Hmm?" she hummed, looking up from her computer.

"…How do you change the channel?" he asked hesitantly.

She smiled again and pointed to another button. "This one changes the channel," she pointed to a similar looking button across from it, "and this one is the volume. But an easier way to see what's on right now is the guide. This one." She pressed a button and the TV changed to a new image of a grid full of names and times. "Tada!" she grinned.

"Thank you…" he said again. "Um…do you have any suggestions?"

Tracey laughed. "Bad question to ask me. There's tons of shows I watch. Although a few that wouldn't be your taste. There is one that I think you'd like. It's called Enlisted." She took the remote again and scrolled down the guide. "Perfect, it's on! It's basically a comedy show about people in the army. It centers around three brothers and the people in their platoon. It's really funny and has its heartfelt moments."

Bucky nodded his head and turned to the screen. Seeing the soldiers on the show he had flashes to this time on the front line and with The Howling Commandos. There were dark moments, moments that he feared for his life, moments where they lost comrades, but there were moments that were filled with joy. Moments where the 107th had down time and he, Steve, and the commandos sat in bars and talked and laughed at stories. Those were memories that made Bucky smile. He missed the commandos, but he at least had Steve with him in this strange new world. He prayed that hopefully one day when he got his memories back that the people here he could call friends. Maybe family.

As he watched the show he would let out small chuckles at the jokes. Some things he didn't understand. Past his time obviously. He made a note to ask Steve what Donkey Kong was, maybe Barry or Sam. He sat silently watching the show, the only sound coming from the television and the clicking from Tracey typing. Dexter at one point had crawled onto his lap and curled up there. Bucky stiffened at first, but relaxed. He smiled fondly down at the dog, petting it's head as he laid soundly on his lap.

Looking at the puppy he remembered how one time he and Rebecca had found a stray when he had walked her home from school. His sister was desperate to convince their mom to keep it, but they eventually found the owner. He smiled lightly at the memory. A sunken feeling filled his chest as he thought of his family and how he wouldn't be able to see his sister again.

He stared blankly at the dog in his lap, zoning out in thought. The silence was broken by Tracey speaking.

"You know," she began. "I kind of know how the war can affect people. I can't imagine how it affected you when you joined…" she trailed off seeing him stiffen a bit. "But um…I do know how it affects those with loved ones who went off to the front line. Barry and I…our dad was in the war in Afghanistan and had died in action. He died when Barry and I were in high school, our sophomore year."

Bucky stared at her with a solemn expression. "I'm…I'm sorry."

Tracey smiled lightly at him. "Thank you. It was hard when it happened, but I know he wouldn't want me to go on with life sad. He'd want me to live my life the way I want to. I've learned to enjoy even the smallest moments and live every day to the fullest."

Bucky looked down at his hands in his lap. What Tracey said was a good way to look at life. He clenched his hands before relaxing them. He had to look at the bright side of things, know that he will get his memories back. He knew it would be a hard road to recovery, he knew that from the start. But with Steve by his side to help him through he knew he could get through the tough times. Even Tracey was there for him he realized. Yesterday when she helped him with his arm. He looked back at that moment and remembered how she had grabbed his arm. She only hesitated when she waited for him to allow her to touch it. She didn't hesitate out of fear. She didn't look at him like the monster he thought he was. He smiled to himself. Maybe he could find friends with the people here.

"Thank you…for everything," he said, smiling lightly at her.

She smiled back warmly. "Of course. We're all here to help you, Bucky. What you did through the years was never your fault. I hope you know that. I know that for a fact," she said, the smile growing slightly bigger to reassure him. "When I first met Steve and began talking with him, he'd tell me stories of growing up in the forties. He mentioned the war with the Howling Commandos, but he'd always talk about growing up in New York and you." She laughed. "You know, that reminds me. My dad told Barry and I, a few times, that growing up he always loved hearing about the Howling Commandos."

Bucky raised an eyebrow in interest as Tracey began to tell him the story. "He-he did?"

"Yeah," Tracey said with a grin. A chuckle escaped her mouth. "He told us that he had learned about Captain America and the Howling Commandos in fifth grade. From there he would check out any book on you guys from the library. He would play soldiers with his friends. He looked up to all of you." Her grin grew wider as she laughed. "Actually," she said, holding back a smile, but failing. "You were his favorite Commando."

Bucky blinked and stared back at her. He was her dad's favorite? "I am?"

"Yeah," she said with a giggle. "You, then Dugan."

Bucky chuckled. He remembered Dugan. He never backed down from a fight and always had a smile on his face. It hurt to know the Commandos were gone and he and Steve were still alive, but Steve had said a while ago that the men wouldn't want them to mourn and to just keep living (even if it was in the twenty first century).

"Yeah, my dad joined the army because you guys inspired him to help protect those he loved and everyone around him. He wanted to make a difference," Tracey said, reaching over and scratching Dexter.

"Yeah…" Bucky muttered, lowering his head.

"Hey," Tracey spoke up, making him look back at her. Her face wasn't the happy look it had, it was serious. "Bucky, you are a good man. Everything that I've heard about you proves it. What you did in the past wasn't your fault. Remember that, please."

Bucky stared at her for a moment, her eyes almost pleading. Eventually he sighed and nodded. "I'll try."

"No you will," she said, poking his shoulder. She smirked at him before going back to her computer and pulled her hair up into a messy bun.

He smiled. "Alright."

"Good," she smiled. "If you ever need to talk you can talk with me. Just so you know. Everyone is here to help."

He smiled lightly down at his lap where Dexter had fallen asleep.

Everyone is here to help.

It kept echoing in his head. He had to remember that. Steve wasn't the only one here who wanted to help him. Since he got to the tower everyone he met treated him like a friend. He needed to open up more, be less reclusive and let people in other than Steve. He had to if he wanted to be rid of the Winter Soldier.

"Hey, Mona Lisa!" Tony greeted as he walked off the elevator. Both occupants of the couch turned around to see his smiling face. "How's the apartment?"

"Pretty good. Quiet without you around," Tracey teased.

Tony's mouth fell open and he covered his heart. "I'm hurt. I thought you cared about me."

Tracey laughed as she shook her head before going back to typing.

Bucky stared at Tony as he made his way over to the arm chair next to the sofa. The billionaire grinned at him before turning on the TV.

Bucky continued to stare. The car crash replayed in his head again. If he wanted to let people in he'd have to start somehow. Although, he feared how Tony would react.

"Tony…"

Tony turned his head to the super soldier. "What's up, Buckaroo?"

"I…I don't know how…how to say this," Bucky started, his hands shaking.

Tony raised an eyebrow; Tracey looked confused as the two waited for Bucky to continue.

"Your…your parents." He took a deep breath. "I remember a mission. It was w-when your parents died." His eyes widened when he saw Tony stiffen. "I'm sorry!" he blurted. "It-it was me. I was the one who killed your parents. I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I never knew and-and your dad, he was a friend from the war. I'm so sorry…"

Tony held up his hand, stopping him. "Bucky…" He rarely ever used people's names, always nicknames. "It's fine. I forgive you."

Bucky stared wide eyed at the man next to him. "Wh-what?"

"I forgive you," he repeated. "I know what you're feeling. I know what it's like to be used as a weapon. I was forced to make weapons for a group who captured me. They're the reason I have this," he pointed to his arc reactor. "This glowing piece of tech is what is keeping me alive. So I know what you're feeling towards that arm of yours and what you're feeling reliving that mission. Don't let that arm hold you back or make you fear yourself. I used the arc reactor to help create the Iron Man suit. I used what was put in me to help others and fight against my enemies. You can too."

Bucky took a shuddering breath. "Thank you…"

"Any time." Tony smirked at him. "Plus we have you on our side now. We can use 'the weapon'," he said, air quoting, "HYDRA thinks it created against them. Time to put that arm to use, Buckster."

Bucky smiled lightly and nodded. Hearing that, he was more determined to recover. "Right."

"Now," Tony said, standing up and patting his shoulder. "How about that drink?"

"Uh sure."

"You know it's nice to hear you speak for once." Tony grinned before making his way to the bar.

Bucky smiled. He was relieved Tony wasn't mad and that there was someone here that knew a bit of what he was feeling. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Tracey smiling at him.

"I told you, everyone is here to help."

He smiled and nodded. "Thank you."

She smiled back and went back to her work.

"Whatcha want, Buckster?" Tony called out.

"Uh…" Bucky said. He eventually got up and went to the bar to see the large quantity of bottles full of liquor.

He was relieved. He was gradually getting back to his old self and he was surrounded by people he could call friends. Steve was right. Everything will be okay.

DEDICATION! I am dedicating this chapter to my twin sister. She is a HUGE Marvel fan whereas I am the DC comics fan, so we have a friendly sister rivalry. So far DC is failing me and Marvel is pawning butt. I'm dedicating this to her because her favorite character is Tony and she had asked me if Bucky would ever tell Tony that he was the one who killed his parents. Originally I had the idea in mind, but never knew when to bring it in, but I thought this would be the perfect chapter. It's not too early and it's not too late. It also shows Bucky's development as he's recuperating. And without her catching small grammar and spelling errors and her help with Tony I wouldn't be able to write for him haha.

Anyways, here's yet another chapter! I am actually surprised I got this out a lot quicker than chapter six. I actually have to thank my friend Darkargo for that. We were talking on the phone the other day and I had said I had the ideas for this chapter, but no motivation to write. That is until she came up with this idea.

She is working on her own fanfic (a fire emblem one so go check it out it's REALLY good!) and said that she has the idea for her next chapter just like I had the idea for this chapter. She made a contest to see who would finish their chapter first. If I won she'd make me a playlist of songs for Bucky and Tracey (because she knows some great songs that I've yet to hear) and if she won I'd be buying the candy when we go see Guardians of the Galaxy haha.

So thank you so much Darkargo! You're the best! And I won ;)

Ask the Avengers and Madison twins tumblr: winter-is-ending

I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I wanted to show a bit of development for Bucky and wanted to develop Bucky and Tracey's friendship along with showing a bit more insight on Tracey and Barry's background with their family. Just a little, more will be revealed eventually.

I honestly have no idea what I'll do next for chapter eight. I have a vague idea, but I'm not sure how it will get written out. Fingers crossed that it will come to me.

Thank you for reading and I again I would love to hear any inputs and critiques!