New Light
An insight into Hinamori's state of mind. Written from a dream I had a few nights ago (I DON'T OWN BLEACH) Hope you like. Spoilers up to chapter 224.
Hinamori's eyes squinted in determination as she attempted the see the top step on the large staircase. These stairs seemed longer to her than they once did and she noted this as she hurried her pace. 'Taichou is waiting.' She thought, finally seeing where the stairs cleared. Hinamori glanced behind her from the top step and saw the previous floor clearly. It was if she was hallucinating…. She had to have been walking longer than that. She shrugged it off, though, and continued. The longer she waited here, the longer it would be to see Aizen.
She told herself to hurry; it wasn't much farther now, only a hundred feet at most. She finally slowed s she reached the door to the 5th division's office. The door seemed bigger than usual… Again, she dismissed this; she must not have slept long enough. Her hand was placed firmly on the door and she slid it sideways. Aizen sat at his desk, glancing up at her as she entered. "Ah, Hinamori-kun, you've arrived."
She bowed, "I'm sorry it took so long." Hinamori walked across the office to his desk. He stood, grinning at her in a fashion she found odd. "Where's Hitsugaya-taichou?" He asked, his voice more distant. "W-what? I don't know." She answered, confused by such a question. She gave him a look. "So you haven't found him yet?" "No, was I supposed to be looking?" He simply pointed behind her.
Hinamori turned and her eyes widened. "S-sh-sh-shiro-ch-ch—" Again, Aizen's voice chimed in, "He was just too troublesome." He sounded right behind her, his breath in her ear. "Like you."
Hinamori jolted up from her bed; sweat dripping down her face along with tears and whatever else she could muster. She must've screamed because her door was opened within seconds and a guard was asking her if she was all right. She was in shock. She sat strait up, stiff as anyone could be. Her eyes were hollow. The guard placed a hand on her shoulder. "Hinamori-fukutaichou? Are you all right?" She placed a hand on her forehead and nodded. "Yes. Just a bad dream." She said in a tone that told the guard she needed to be alone. She fell back on her bed, brushing the sweat from her forehead. Why was she having these dreams? Why of her captain… and why was her Shiro-chan… She couldn't even think it, but her dream had shown her the scene so vividly that she couldn't push it from her mind.
Hinamori hadn't seen Hitsugaya since she had spoken with him over the monitor a month or so before. As far as she knew, he was fine. They did keep her updated on the situation on earth. But still… this dream had shaken her up quite a bit and suddenly she was worried about him a lot. She told herself that her taichou would never do that. But what did she know anymore… It wasn't like either of them were really 'hers' anymore, Aizen-taichou had never been and Hitsugaya had grown up out of that role.
She forced a sigh to subside the ache in her chest but it barely helped. Her eyes focused on the pale wall in front of her. Waiting here was becoming painful. She still looked worn, even after a month. She couldn't sleep and therefore couldn't make the dark lines under her eyes fade. She was aware of this, but still tried. She wanted to improve her condition. She didn't like that while everyone was preparing for war; she was struggling to gather her strength. Again, she sighed, slipping the covers off her form. That was enough for tonight. She knew she wouldn't get to sleep again. She had no one to comfort her back into that piece of mind any longer, when she was a child, it had been Hitsugaya and up to recently it had been Taichou. She would have to grow strong on her own, not just as a shinigami, but also as a person. She would stop leaning on others, she would stop being a burden. That was the girl… woman she wanted to show to Hitsugaya when he returned, and that was the woman she wanted show Aizen in the war to come.