"Ranma! I kill!" Shampoo challenged as she bust down the wall.

Ranma, I'll kill you.

"Sha-shampoo!" Ranma-chan stammered. "What are you doing in Japan?"

"KILL!" Shampoo shouted as she attacked Ranma with her huge clubs.

I'm here to kill you.

Ranma jumped over the clubs, still holding onto the blanket that was warming her. "You're the only person," she said as she ducked under another volley of clubs. "I just can't deal with!" With that she threw the blanket at Shampoo, temporarily blinding her. By the time Shampoo had tossed aside the blanket, Ranma-chan had disappeared.

"Ranma!" Shampoo challenged. But when no Ranma popped out to answer Shampoo's call of death, the purple haired hussy got frustrated.

"He's gone," Akane said pointing out the giant hole in the wall Shampoo had made.

"BAD!" Shampoo yelled, hitting a locker with her club and charging out the hole in the wall.

This isn't good.

Akane shook her head and handed Jhim Pchan, walked over to the destroyed locker and pried open the door to reveal Ranma-Chan.

"Care to explain?" she asked dryly.

"It's a long story," Ranma said.

"We've got time," Jhim said.

Ranma-chan looked my way and shook her head. "We'd better not. Rizu looks kinda sick."

Everyone's eyes turned towards me. "Rizu?" Kotori asked. "Are you alright? You look kind of pale."

"A SENTENCE MUST HAVE A SUBJECT AND A VERB! IT JUST DOES!"

Silence greeted my outburst as everyone in the room stared at me in shock.

I smiled happily. "Well I feel better."

After the match it was just Ranma, Akane, and I as everyone else had to do some errands or something of the sort. Jhim said that he and 'Pchan' were going to the store to buy something to celebrate Ranma and Akane winning the match and would meet us at the dojo.

"So what the story with you and that girl?" Akane asked again on the way back to the dojo. "Awfully cute wasn't she?"

"Are you crazy!" the now male Ranma exclaimed. "She's trying to kill me!"

"What'd you do to deserve that?" I asked offhandedly. "Stand her up on a date?"

Akane took a swing at Ranma who dodged it easily.

"WHAT! No way!" he yelled at me.

"Of course not!" I said teasingly. "You probably left her the bill after the date and then never called back."

"That's not true!" Ranma yelled as he dodged another attack of Akane's book bag attacks. "I never went out with her!"

"Well then what did you do?" Akane accused, her voice implying that she'd better like the answer or else.

"I didn't do anything!" Ranma protested. "Look, it happened like this. Pop and I were out training one day when we found this village full of Amazons!"

"Like Wonder Woman?" I said.

"Yeah, only Chinese and no superpowers. Anyway, they were having a tournament there and the girl Shampoo won," he said.

"What does that have to do with you?" Akane said.

"Well see, Pop and I had eaten her winnings and so she challenged me."

"Wait, let me guess," I said. "You won?"

Ranma smirked triumphantly. "Of course! Why wouldn't I?"

"Is that why she's after you?" Akane asked.

"Well sorta," Ranma said. "After I defeated her, she kissed me…"

Ranma didn't get any further before Akane tried to kill him. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! I was a girl at the time!" Ranma said.

"So?" I said. "A kiss is a kiss."

"Not this one!" Ranma disputed.

"What made that one any different!" Akane accused.

"Be-cause," Ranma said exasperatingly. "It was a Kiss of Death!"

"Ah, the Kiss of Death!" I said dramatically, throwing my hands into the air. "The final seal for the death of the heart at parting with such a great love!"

"WOULD YOU CUT THAT OUT!" Ranma yelled. "She wants to kill me! The guide said…" Suddenly Ranma brought out a little hand puppet that resembled the Jusenkyo guide. "Amazons have very big pride. Loosing to outsider is worse shame than death! Kiss of Death is promise to chase you to ends of earth and kill!" Putting away the puppet (thank god) Ranma nodded. "And when they say ends of the earth, they mean it!"

"And now she's followed you to Japan," Akane said. "Amazing isn't it?"

"Amazing isn't the word," I said cheerfully.

"Well at least she's cute right?" Akane said to Ranma.

"Would you cut it out?" Ranma said unhappily.

I snickered. "You have a stalker, I don't, you do, you're gonna die, I can sleep at night, ha ha ha ha ha!(1)"

"Shut up."

"Hello Ranma!" Kasumi said cheerfully as we walked in. "You have a guest."

Sitting at the Tendo table was Shampoo calmly sipping tea next to a not so calm panda. Ranma had a heart attack.

"Uncle Saotome brought her," Kasumi said.

She followed me! the panda's sign read.

"Are you insane pop!" Ranma hissed, grabbing Genma by the collar.

While watching this ever-so entertaining bit, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see Jhim standing behind me, his arms crossed over his chest. "Hey Jhim," I said cheerfully. "Didcha get the celebration stuff?"

"We need to talk," he said in a dead-pan voice. "Now."

Oh great, now what did I do? Two scoldings in one day; that was a record for me. I followed Jhim into the kitchen where there was pot of hat water on the stove.

"So what's up?" I asked.

"I talked to Ryoga today, explained to him why we knew about his curse," Jhim said.

Oh man, this couldn't be good. If Ryoga, or anyone for that matter, found out what we really were Jhim and I would be in such trouble. "What'd you tell him? Did he buy it?" I asked nervously.

"I told him the usual 'it's not that hard to figure out' and he bought it," Jhim said.

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Aw man, you almost scared me to death!" I said. "Is that all you wanted to tell me?"

"No." Jhim looked just a little annoyed with me. "Ryoga told me that you know about Ranma's curse as well."

"So? You already knew… Oh," I said, suddenly realizing why Jhim was pissed. "You're mad because I didn't tell you that I told Ranma that I knew?"

Jhim nodded. "Do you know why I'm mad about that?"

"Because we agreed we'd do this thing together?" I said nervously.

"So can you tell me why you didn't inform me of this small detail?" Jhim asked.

I smiled nervously and scratched the back of my head. Oh man, he wasn't going to like this. "Because I told her after Kuno told her that he loved her."

Now, I expected an outburst, a heavy sigh, a scolding, anything but Jhim bursting out laughing. "That's it?" he said after he stopped laughing. "God, from the way you were acting I'd thought you'd pushed him in the spring yourself!"

"Wait a minute," I said. "I thought you'd be mad."

"You're right, I would've been," Jhim said. "But there isn't much I can do about it now, is there?" He looked at me and laughed again. "Man, you looked so scared!"

I crossed my arms in a huff. "No I didn't."

"Yes you did, you looked like you were gonna pee in your pants!"

"I did not!"

"Aw, is widdle Wizzy afraid of big ole Jim?" Jhim teased.

"No way!" I said. I took a swing at Jhim and he blocked it easily.

"You can't get away with that," he said. "I've been practicing."

I smirked. "Oh really?" I pretended to punch him in the stomach which he blocked easily. While he blocked my punch I reached up with my other hand and popped him on the head.

Or I would've anyway if it weren't for the fact that Jhim just a bit taller than me and he hadn't blocked it. "See?" he said. "Practice. Something you need."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Well if you're going to be continued to be attacked like you have lately you'll need to learn how to defend yourself."

I opened my mouth in protest but Jhim cut me off. "Without blowing things up," he said flatly.

Suddenly a shrill voice came from the other room. "WHAT IS THIS!"

"Uh-oh," I said. "We'd better get in there."

Jhim nodded and we walked into the family room to see…

"Oh boy." Shampoo was giving Ranma a rather passionate kiss in the middle of several confused or angry people. Ranma was so shocked that he didn't put up much of a fight, which didn't help his situation any.

Akane calmly picked up the broken head of Shampoo's club and chucked it as hard as she could at Ranma's head. It did what it was intended to (if it was to kill Ranma or break the kiss I'm still not sure) and because Shampoo was a little upset at having her… um… partner knocked out, she and Akane commenced a glaring match like none I've ever seen.

"Uh guys…" I said nervously. "Could someone explain what's going on?"

"Indeed," Mr. Tendo said as he charged into the room.

"Oh father!" Kasumi exclaimed. "Well… I'm not sure but it seems that Ranma's girlfriend from China has come to get back together."

"You don't know what you're talking about!" A suddenly revived Ranma protested.

"It seems Kasumi's hit it on the head," Ryoga said as he picked the club off of Ranma's battered (and incredibly durable) head.

"She's never seen me as a guy!" Ranma yelled.

"You're little Shampoo gave you quite a kiss for a first meeting!" Akane said angrily.

It seems Ranma had had enough by now. "Now listen Akane…" he yelled as he confronted his fiancée. Akane slipped into a fighting stance quickly which made Ranma pause. "Forget it. If that's how you all see me…"

"It's hard to see you any other way," Mr. Tendo said as Shampoo attached herself to Ranma again.

Akane was shaking with anger as she rounded on the happy couple. "Ranma! As far as I'm concerned our engagement never happened!" And with that she broke down the screen door and stomped away, leaving little holes in the floor as she went.

"Oh my," Kasumi said in a worried tone. "I hope she's alright."

"I'll go check on her," I volunteered. Maybe I could persuade Akane to be a little less angry if I got to her now instead of later.

"Thank you Rizu," Kasumi said as I ran out after her sister. It didn't take long to find the girl; all I had to do was follow the holes in the ground.

"Akane," I said as I walked into the dojo. Surprisingly she was already in her gi and setting up a dummy. "Uh, do you wear that thing under your uniform or something?" I said.

"No!" Akane yelled as she walked past me, a dummy under her arm. "God, that stupid, stupid, stupid idiot!" she yelled as she slammed the post into the hard ground. "I can't believe him!"

"Are you alright?" I asked nervously.

"YES!" she screamed as she punched the dummy which probably resembled Ranma in her mind. "I'm fine!"

"Well you don't seem fine," I said.

"Of course I am!" Akane yelled. "Why should I care if stupid Ranma," she grunted as she punched the dummy. "Kissed…" Another punch. "That stupid…" Kick to the stomach area. "BIMBO!" With the final word Akane broke the post.

"Whoa," I said while Akane whipped her face.

"I'm gonna get another dummy," she said.

I stepped out her way quickly as she stormed past me into the dojo. "Actually hon, the bimbo kissed him."

"Same thing!" she spat. "Stupid storage closet… unorganized…"

"It's not the same thing," I said. "It's like when Mikado tried to kiss you."

"It's completely different!" Akane shouted. "I actually stopped him before he kissed me."

"No, Pigtail did," I said.

"He did not!"

"Yes he did!" I yelled. "I was there remember!"

Akane was silent as she heaved out another dummy from the closet. "So what if he did? I would've stopped Mikado if he did."

I sighed. Man, this girl could be so bull headed sometimes! "Okay, I will admit Pigtail didn't fight much. But come on! He was expecting a Kiss of Death and that's defiantly not what he got."

Akane snorted. "No kidding."

"Look, if you should be mad at anyone it should be Shampoo," I said. "She's trying to take your man after all."

"HE'S NOT MY MAN!" Akane screamed.

I rolled my eyes. "Ok, you know what? You can go on being angry and miserable. Fine. But I'm telling you, things would be so much better if you just talked to him."

"I don't need to talk to him," she said. "I already know what he's gonna say."

"Oh really?" I said.

"Yeah, he's gonna say something like 'stupid tomboy' or 'you're so uncute' or something like that," Akane said with as much bitterness as she could manage.

Ouch. Who could argue with that? "I still think you should talk to him," I said. "You might be surprised."

"Look Shampoo," I heard Ranma say from around the corner. Akane and I turned to each other and gave each other a look that said 'what's going on?' "Get up to-date!"

I looked at Akane and she nodded as we crept closer to listen better.

"Some law that says if a woman beats you, you have to kill her or if a man beats you, you have to marry him is pure stone-age!" Ranma said to an attentive if oblivious Shampoo.

"Law?" Akane muttered. I just found it amusing that a boy in an arranged marriage was preaching to another girl about 'stone-age' traditions.

"In other words," Kasumi said from behind us.

"It's a pure case of a woman trying to trap a man," Nabiki finished.

"Wait, when'd you guys get here?" I asked.

"Shh, listen!" Nabiki scolded.

"You get it Shampoo?" Ranma said flatly as Shampoo jumped up and gave him a hug. "I don't think you get it."

Shampoo purred something in Chinese and stroked his face.

"That means darling," Nabiki read out of a Chinese translation book.

"Now listen!" Ranma yelled. "I'm not going to marry you! Ever!"

"Aww, he's standing up to her," Kasumi said.

"It's about time he got a backbone," Nabiki muttered. I nodded in agreement but the nasty feeling I had was getting stronger.

Shampoo was violating some serious personal space while she continued to utter Chinese phrases.

"That means 'I love you'," Nabiki helpfully informed us.

"Would you shut up?" Akane snapped.

"So… so you s-see," Ranma stuttered as Shampoo came closer to him (although I'm still not sure how that was possible considering the almost non-existent space between them already). "G-getting married… because… I mean… well…"

"Some backbone," I muttered. Akane was seething.

"So we… we… we…" Ranma stuttered. "We should get to know each other better!"

"Oh my, what a weakling," Kasumi stated plainly.

"Are you following this Akane?" Nabiki asked the possibly catatonic and/or homicidal sister.

Suddenly Genma ran up with his sign (reading 'listen to yourself dolt!') and smacked Ranma into the lower atmosphere.

Nabiki stood up and stretched. "Well that saves him from humiliation for now," she said. "I'll be seeing you girls later."

Kasumi nodded. "Oh! I need to make dinner!" she said. "Rizu, are you staying for dinner?"

I shook my head. "Uh, no I think I should head home," I said.

Kasumi nodded happily. "Akane, would you ask Miss Shampoo if she wants to stay for dinner?"

Akane looked like she had just swallowed an entire bowl of her own cooking with toe fungus sprinkled on top.

"I'll do it Kasumi!" I volunteered quickly.

Kasumi smile cheerfully. "All right then. I'll see you later," she said.

I waved goodbye as Kasumi happily walked off to the kitchen. Turning to Akane, I smiled nervously. "So…"

"I don't care," she said. "He can do whatever he wants."

"Alright Akane, let's take a moment and calm down…"

"I AM calm," she growled. "Don't I look calm?"

Whoever said 'the truth is always the best answer' was never confronted with a sixteen year old martial artist with a temper. "O-of course you do!" I laughed nervously.

"Good." With that Akane brushed past me angrily.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to see Jhim. "Where's she going?" he asked.

I shrugged. "Probably to go find Ranma."

"Shouldn't you have stopped her?" Jhim asked.

"Are you crazy! You go stop her!" I exclaimed.

"Good point."

I sighed. "Ready to go home?"

"Yep."

It was a good morning for me. I had gone to the salon yesterday and had gotten my hair fixed. I had actually asked them not to do too much to it, going for a more… abnormal style. The bangs and the front part of the hair had remained its original length, trimmed up to frame my face but the same. The rest of my hair had been cut close the base of my skull, the layers getting shorter as it went up. All in all I thought I looked pretty damn good.

With a new hairstyle I felt refreshed and dressed up for the new look with a low neck yellow tank with black fish-net sleeves and a dark green button-up shirt over it. A pair of denim flares and my clonkers and I was set.

Grabbing my purse I headed out the door happily to meet Jhim on his way out. "Nice hair cut," he said. "It suites you."

"Thanks," I said happily. "Well today should be interesting shouldn't it?" I said as we made our way to the stairs.

"And you get a front row seat," Jhim said.

I nodded morbidly when I heard something I really didn't need to hear that early in the morning.

"Hey Rizu!" Kurizu called, standing next to Kotori at the bottom of the stairs. "I like your hair cut!"

I froze mid-step, a bad idea when walking down stairs. If Jhim hadn't been there to catch me, I would've seriously hurt myself. As it was, I only slightly hurt myself when Jhim lost his balance too and we tumbled down the stairs.

"Ow…" I whined as I slowly sat up. It wasn't that bad though, at least I had landed on something soft.

"Ouch…" Jhim's voice came from beneath me. "My back…"

"Rizu! Are you alright?" Kurizu exclaimed as he quickly pulled me off of Jhim and onto my feet. "You're not hurt or anything are you?"

"Uh… I'm fine." I said. It was true too, after all the slap-stick experiments I'd pulled on myself, it took a lot more than just a tumble down the stairs to mess me up.

"Are you sure? No broken bones? How many fingers am I holding up?" he asked frantically.

"Kurizu, you're not holding up any fingers," I said nervously. "Besides the fall wasn't so bad…"

"Speak for yourself," Jhim muttered as he slowly stood up.

"Are you alright Chimofu?" Kotori asked.

"I'm fine," he said. "Thanks for asking." I had a nasty feeling that comment was directed at me. "You want to introduce your friend Rizu?" he said.

"Uh, sure," I said. "Guys, this is Kurizu…"

"It's nice to meet you!" Kurizu said cheerfully. "I'm in the ninth year and I'm a member of the newspaper club!"

I smiled nervously. This was way too weird for me and that's saying something considering where I lived. And I still wanted to know how the hell Kurizu found out where I lived.

"That's… great. And this is Chimofu and Kotori," I finished. This kid was creepy, the less he knew about me and my friends the better.

Jhim shot me a weird look while Kurizu beamed. "So you're Chimofu," he said happily. "I've heard a lot about you. But don't you go by Jim?"

"No!" I said hastily. "His name is Chimofu!" Well there goes my plan of keeping Kurizu in the dark.

Kurizu smiled. "Well it's nice to meet you Chimofu," sticking out his hand. Jhim took his hand warily and shook it. "And I've already meet Miss Kotori," he said.

"Yeah, by the way," I said. "How'd you find out where I live?"

"Well I ran into your friends yesterday and Miss Kotori told me that you two lived in the same apartment building!"

"Isn't that great?" I said as I shot Kotori a withering glare. "Say, don't you have to get to school?"

"Of course! That's why I'm here! My school's on the way so I thought I just might as well stop by."

"You know you don't have to do that," Jhim said threateningly, still angry about the fall.

"He's right!" I said. "I mean, I don't want to be any trouble or anything…"

"Nonsense!" Kurizu said. "It's no problem, I promise."

Needless to say, the walk to school was a bit awkward. Jhim talked to Kotori while Kurizu monopolized my attention. I never noticed the length of time from seeing the school gates and actually reaching them before today.

"I'll see you later Rizu!" Kurizu called as he headed towards the junior high.

I sighed in relief as he disappeared and rounded on Kotori. "What insanity drove you to tell him where I live!"

Kotori laughed nervously. "He bought me ice cream, what was I supposed to do?"

Jhim snorted. "Quite the little playboy isn't he?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Don't mind me," he said. "I'm just Chimofu remember?" Before I could say anything else he turned on his heels and walked into the building.

"Well… I… argh!" I yelled. "What the hell was that!"

Kotori just chuckled. "Come on Rizu, let's get to class."

Lunch time arrived too soon for my taste. Akane had been giving Ranma the cold shoulder all day and frankly it was getting annoying.

"Akane, have you talked to Pigtail yet?" I said as we settled down for lunch in our usual group.

"Who? I don't know anyone named Pigtail," she said bitterly. "And if you're referring to someone named Ranma, I don't know him either."

Now that was just childish. "Come off it! You live with the boy!" I exclaimed.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Akane snapped.

I rolled my eyes. Today was just not my day apparently.

"And speaking of stalkers," Sayuri said off-handedly. "I hear Rizu has one of her own."

It took me a while to stop choking on my food. "Wh-what are you talking about?" I protested.

"That creepy little junior high kid," Yuka said. "He bought us ice cream yesterday just so he could ask about you."

"ARE YOU KIDDING!"

Sayuri shook her head. "Nope. He said he was with the school paper but when he asked if you were seeing anyone I figured there was another reason."

"What'chall tell him?" I asked.

"Everything," Yuka said plainly. I glared at her and she shrugged. "He gave us ice cream, what were we supposed to do?"

I groaned and put my head on the desk. "Great, my best friends sell me out for a cheap dairy treat."

"Actually, the price of three ice cream parfaits are kinda expensive theses days," Yuka said.

I lifted my head to glare at her. "You. No more talking. Just, no more."

Suddenly I heard a low rumble vibrating the desk. "Hey, can yall hear that?"

The girls shook their heads just as a huge crater appeared in the wall right behind Ranma.

"What the…" Sayuri muttered when Shampoo burst forth from the crater.

"Male Ranma!" Shampoo exclaimed happily. Well, at least she could tell the difference now without patting his chest.

"Uh Shampoo," Ranma said in a flat tone. "What are you doing?"

"Wife make lunch!" she said in that high pitched, anti-grammar tone of hers as she presented Pchan on a sliver platter… literally.

"Pchan!" Akane exclaimed as she grabbed the unconscious pig off the platter.

"Not girl lunch!" Shampoo yelled. She snatched Pchan from Akane and served him to Ranma on chopsticks.

A disturbed Ranma plucked the pig off the chopsticks and tried to revive him by lightly slapping him.

Now I imagine that Ryoga waking up to Ranma's still disturbed face wasn't a pleasant thing but I still don't think it was absolutely necessary to chomp down on his arm.

"PCHAN!" Akane shrieked. "THANK GOD YOU'RE OKAY!" Shampoo, who was probably kicking herself for not taking the time to actually cook Ranma's lunch, slipped her hand under Akane's chin and kissed her on the cheek.

"Oh my god!" Yuka gasped. "What is she doing?"

Akane smiled grimly and slid back into a fighting stance. "Fine! I accept your challenge!"

"Hey! Wait!" Ranma protested nervously. "The pig's alright so…"

"Shut up!" Akane yelled when punched him out the open window. Turning to Shampoo she said "You and I are going to settle this here and now."

"A slow chick like you," I heard Ranma yell from outside the window. "Has no chance against Shampoo!"

Akane walked over to the window calmly and slammed it shut as Ranma was about to jump through it. "Who's slow!"

"Violent Girl fight?" Shampoo asked superiorly.

Akane glared at her. "Let's go." Before anyone could stop them, Shampoo broke through the opposite window and Akane followed her.

"Oh my god Rizu," Yuka said. "Something bad could happen to her!"

I nodded and was about to leave when Ranma crawled through the window. "Akane!"

"They left through the window!" I said.

"What!" Ranma shouted. "Where'd they go?"

"How should I know?" I said. "They jumped out the freakin window!"

Ranma bounded out through the window, yelling Akane's name frantically.

"Sayuri, Yuka, let's go!" I said. The girl's nodded conformation and followed me down the stairs quickly (oh yeah, like we were gonna go out the window too)

By the time we reached Akane she was already awake and, wait she was talking to Ranma? There was something I was forgetting, I know it…

"Rizu, who is this guy?" Akane asked, pointing to Ranma.

Oh yeah, now I remembered.

(1)Neurotically Yours: Secret Admirer

The Liz... is in a really good mood. Probably has something to do with the three Pop Tart packs and the never ending supply of Coke.