Silence
By Maddy

Summary: Yes, she would miss the silence.' BA
Rating: PG for the angst and implied stuff
Spoilers: Shanshu
Timeline: In the future, I don't know when so don't ask
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, blah, blah, Joss and Co. do, blah, blah…
Distribution: If you have permission to have any of my other stories, go ahead and take it. If not, just ask. I promise I won't say no
Feedback: Yes, please. You know you want to. Lol
Author's Notes: Just a very short little ficlet that just popped into my head when I was going over the last part of 'I Dream Of Kites And Carousels.' Angsty, but not overly. Enjoy!

His heartbeat was loud and intrusive. It resonated in her ears like a church tower bell. With her Slayer hearing it was almost deafening. It reminded her of when she would lay her head on Riley's chest. His heart beat loudly too.

Angel shifted his weight in his sleep, Buffy tried not to wake him as she sat up, pulling her arm from underneath his body. The former vampire mumbled incoherently, but didn't wake. She let out a sigh of relief; it was hard to watch someone sleep if they woke up. She placed her hand over his heart; she could feel it better through the ribs, muscle and skin. He was alive, he had Shanshued. That word meant almost nothing to her; she could care less about an ancient prophecy saying that the vampire with a soul would Shanshu. As Angel had put it: live to die. He had explained in depth how he found the prophecy, how at first they believed Angel was going to die. How Wesley figured out he wasn't. He explained that Spike getting his soul messed it all up, no one knew which vampire with a soul it referred to. But Spike had died in the battle against the Black Thorn and Angel had Shanshued some years later.

Buffy had welcomed him with open arms, unable to keep her eyes free of tears. She remembered how scared she was that this was nothing but a dream. She remembered what it was like to first feel Angel's heart beating within his chest. That was the defining moment in her life, she was faced with a life-altering choice: would she let this man back into her life? The moment she asked herself that question, she had realised there was no other answer but yes. Of course she would. They finally had the chance to make each other happy, to love each other like normal couples could. They could grow old together, have children and live in a house with a picket fence.

He turned human yesterday; he arrived at her house the morning after. They spent the day talking, kissing, caressing and making love in nearly every room of her apartment. She remembered Dawn's shocked face when she knocked on the front door, only to have it opened by a topless Angel. A topless human Angel. Soon the rest of the Gang was at her home. Giles baffled at the prophecy, asking if he could actually see it. Willow wouldn't stop smiling and Xander acted like an older brother and told Angel that if he hurt me again Xander would happily kill him, even though he was now human. It was perfect, it was wonderful, and despite Xander's words he had fully accepted that Angel was back in her life. She remembered having to force them to leave, with Angel promising Giles he could look over the prophecy and Wesley's notes. Willow was still smiling.

They fell asleep in each other's arms, Buffy professing that this was what she had always wanted: to fall asleep in the arms of the only man she loved more than anything. But hours later, Buffy awoke. His heart had woken her up. At first she couldn't understand why; Riley had never woken up her, neither had any other man she slept with. But Angel's heart did. Buffy's eyes had filled with tears, and for a moment it was no longer perfect.

The fact was that she was used to hearing nothing when lying in Angel's arms. Now there was no silence, there was a steady thump, thump, thump, thump. In a heartbreaking instant, Buffy realised she would miss the silence, the literal peace she found when being in his arms. That was lost to her now. Forever. Being in Angel's arms, or even in his presence, would never bring her the peace she so badly craved. She loved that man more than anything else in her life. And in the next. This was new, and her soul knew that his heart had never beat before, and although Angel being human was everything she ever wanted she wasn't going to get used to it instantly, she would still jump up when he would walk through a patch of sunlight, she would still draw the curtains and still expect his skin to be cool.

His heart beat loudly in the otherwise silent room; she wiped her cheeks free of the few tears that had fallen and pressed her lips onto his warm skin, just above where his heart was. She whispered that she loved him, kissed him briefly on the lips before she once again curled up next to him. His arm went around her instinctively, his heart beat loudly in her ear.

Yes, she would miss the silence.

The End

Okay, very short but I would still like to know what you guys think. I would have uploaded it earlier but it wouldn't let me.
Thanks, Maddy