Minor spoilers for the Swamp. If you haven't seen it yet, you suck and are probably a hobo.
But I love you anyway. :)
Jak
Long-Distance
30Kisses Challenge 2: News/Letter
Dear Katara,
I thought about you today as we were heading into Earth Kingdom. Of course, I think about you all the time so that really isn't all that surprising—just thought I'd let you know I miss you.
I'm also bored out of my mind. I forgot how much I hate sailing. The blue of the water, though, reminds me of your eyes.
Your loving husband,
Zuko
p.s. Hope you and baby are doing well.
p.s.s. Write me back unless you want me to go insane with boredom.
Dear Zuko,
Please stop trying to be romantic. It's becoming increasingly difficult to laugh at you when your hundreds of miles away. Honestly, the 'blue of the water reminds me of your eyes'? Please, sweetie, I didn't marry you because you were romantic. Stop it--it scares me.
Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. I've just been busy running your country while you're gone. When I'm not doing that, I've been trying to figure out a clever way to have your advisors assassinated. Would you mind so-terribly-much if I showed Advisor Ling exactly how strong a female waterbender can be? If I have to take another one of his insults I may just punch him.
I am sorry you are bored. Don't worry—when you finally get to Omashu, it will get better. King Bumi is awfully entertaining.
Missing you horribly,
Katara
p.s. Babies. Doctor seems to think its twins. I don't know if he's joking with me, trying to scare me, or if he's being serious.
p.s.s. I might have to kill him, too.
Dear Katara,
If you absolutely have to kill my advisors, wait until I get home. I would love to see that. Nothing would give me greater joy than to see you kick his ass. Except, perhaps, you being here. Why aren't you with me again?
Babies, huh? Well, that's…I don't know what to say about that. I guess it's a good thing. Do you think it's two boys, two girls, or a boy and a girl? What are we going to name them!
Love you (and babies),
Zuko
p.s. Alright, I get it. My sense of romance sucks. I still love you, though.
p.s.s. You lied. King Bumi is not entertaining—he's insane.
Dear Zuko,
Iroh came and visited me today. He also brought your baby pictures. You were an adorable baby. Azula…not so much. You were far, far cuter.
I'm hoping it will be a boy and a girl, nice and even. As far as names go, it's tradition in my tribe to name the first born son after the grandfather, so if it's a boy we can name it either Koda or Ozai, your choice. Girl names, though, I haven't a clue. What's a traditional Fire Nation girl name?
I know your sense of romance sucks, love. I married you anyway. And King Bumi is too entertaining, just in an insane sort of way. You'll get use to him.
Hugs and kisses,
Katara (and babies)
p.s. Advisor Ling seems to have broken his nose recently. I have no idea how it happened. Poor dear. I may send flowers.
p.s.s. White Dragon flowers are poisonous, correct?
Dear Katara (and babies),
Sorry this letter is short; I'm in a hurry.
Name my son Ozai and I'll divorce you. Try maybe Iroh instead.
Kita is a girl's name, and so is Lian.
Azula was a fat baby.
I'm sure Advisor Ling would enjoy whatever flowers you send.
Miss you,
Zuko
p.s. White Jade are very nice flowers. Ask Uncle, he'll tell you all about them. He has...experience. I'm sure they'll fit your…purpose.
Dear Zuko,
I was kidding about naming him Ozai. I would never do that. Iroh, however, is a nice suggestion. We might have to use that. Koda Iroh, that's a nice name, don't you think? And if they're both boys, we can name one Koda and the other Iroh. That's one problem solved.
Speaking of Iroh, he brought me a book of baby names. What a sweetheart! Your uncle dotes on me too much.
I felt the babies kick again today and now I swear I have a bruise on the inside of my stomach. I blame you.
Love,
Katara (and babies)
p.s. Advisor Ling has an awful rash all over him. Poor dear. Thanks for the flower suggestion again, I may have to send him some more.
Dear Katara,
King Bumi insists on showing me all of Omashu and the surrounding areas. Today we visited a swamp, and I met some people who claim to be your kin.
Are they?
Your very terrified husband,
Zuko
p.s. For the love of all that is holy please tell me no.
Dear Zuko,
At least you haven't run into the hippies yet. :)
Babies are making me sore. They like to kick too much.
Kat
Dear Katara,
We happened to run into some 'nomads' today on our way back to Omashu. You jinxed me. How many other psychotic people have you met?
Love,
Zuko
p.s. Sorry babies are making you sore. We set sail to return home tomorrow. I'll kiss it better.
Dear Zuko,
Only your family and friends.
Katara
p.s. Miss you terribly, get back soon. Doctor is afraid I'll go into labor early.
Katara,
You better not. I am on the ship home right now. I'll be there in less than a week. No babies until then.
Zuko
Nephew,
You are a little too late. I am holding one of your daughters right now. Two bright eyed baby girls. You must be proud.
Katara is asleep, but she and your daughters send their love.
Uncle
Uncle
(or Katara)
(or baby girls),
F--- it!
I'll be home tonight at earliest.
Tell Katara I am sorry.
Give her and the girls a big kiss for me, will you?
Zuko
XXX
END
A/N: Well, this is a little odd, but I hope everyone enjoyed it? Happy Easter, people.
BTW, this story is a ZUTARA story. I have had a few Kataang people review me, and so far everyone who's been from a different ship that has read this has been really nice, except for yesterday.
No, I will not stop writing zutara and start writing kataang. Zutara is my ship, it's what I like. I don't review your stories telling you to write zutara, leave my story alone.
Also, for all that is good and holy in the world, learn how to spell. My brain cells died from reading that review.
I apologize to any and all other kataang fans who read this. I mean no offense to you or your ship. I'm sure zutara has our fair share of trolls, too, but I'm just easily annoyed. (Have I ever written anything other than zutara? Does my summary not say that the story is zutara? GRRR!)
:sings kumbya: Can't we all just get along?
Jak