Spoilers for Return to Omashu. If you haven't seen it yet, you suck and are a hobo.
But I love hobos, so it's all good.
OoCness too, like a lot, but that's to be expected when I write humor.:) Inspired by an icon I saw somewhere.
Jak
Sokka's Lament
30Kisses Challenge 4: Our Distance (and that person)
Sokka should have known it was bad whenever she began to make that awful hamster-sounding noise.
"Squee!" She squealed with delight as she held the round lump that was the Evil Fire Nation Baby™. The baby did not seem to mind Katara's large hugs; in fact, he seemed to enjoy them.
"Who's the cutest baby in the whole wide world? That's right, you are!" The baby giggled in her arms as she squeezed him tightly. "Who's a cutie pie? Who's my sugar-booger? Yes you are! Oh yes you are the sweetest baby! Aw, look at that smile…"
Sokka could not help but roll his eyes. Pitiful, really. "You do realize that's an Evil Fire Nation Baby™ right?"
She scoffed at him. "But he's so cute."
"And evil. Can't forget the evil part."
She rolled her eyes before she placed the baby off of her lap, placing instead her hands on her hips. "Honestly, Sokka, does this look like an evil baby to you?"
The baby, of course, chose this very moment to blow a bubble of spit through it's nose, increasing his cuteness tenfold. Katara awed; Sokka grimaced.
"Yep, pure evil alright." He lifted his nose out. "And smelly, too."
"Hmph!" She repicked the baby up and sat him on her lap. "I think they're cute." She brushed the baby's hair softly with her fingers before coming with a revelation.
"I want one."
Sokka almost died.
"Y-you what!" He held his hand to his heart in fear. Katara did not just say—did she?
"I want one." She repeated, bouncing Tom-Tom on her knee. "They're just absolutely adorable, don't you think? Not now, of course, not until I'm older or married, but still." She hugged the baby tightly before spinning him high up into the air, the baby giggling in response.
Sokka's jaw dropped. "You—you want---you…"
"I could always adopt one, I suppose." She continued. "I mean, there's bound to be Fire Nation orphans looking for a good home somewhere, you know? After the war, I bet there will be several more, too. I could always raise one myself." She paused, thinking it over.
"Or I could always marry a Firebender."
Sokka almost died.
Again.
"YOU AREN'T ALLOWED!" Sokka bellowed. "NEVER! YOU HEAR ME? NEVER!"
Tom-Tom squirmed. Katara continued as if she hadn't heard him. "Of course, then it would be a fire and a water baby…hmm…do you think that sort of baby would be cute?"
Sokka's mouth gapped open like a fish. "IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT WOULD BE CUTE OR NOT BECAUSE IT'S NEVER HAPPENING, YOU HEAR?"
Tom-Tom began crying. Katara began to rock him in her arms, giving Sokka a bad look as she did. He scowled.
"Besides, where are you going to find a Fire Nation husband? You're a waterbender, you know?"
Tom-Tom stopped his wailing and began cooing softly at Katara.
"Prince Zuko, of course."
Sokka was pretty sure his sister had finally gone insane. "And why on earth would you want to marry Zuko?"
"Well, for one, he's a Prince. That's got to count for something, right?" She set Tom-Tom down and begun to play with her hair. "He's handsome, too."
Sokka blinked. "Katara, he has a huge gigantic scar on his eyeball."
"Scars are sexy." She retorted. "Not to mention I bet he has some sort of dark, forbidding past. Don't you think? I mean, you don't get those sort of scars for nothing, you know?"
Sokka had no words; only felt that he should mention the fact that a piece of his soul just died.
At her last thought, she blushed. "And I bet he's a great kisser, too."
As the last piece of Sokka's soul died a slow horrible painful death by the mental images of his sister and Prince Scarface and their possible offspring, he wished he could just let her keep this Evil Fire Nation Baby™ rather than endure these horrible, painfulmental images any longer.
XXX
END
A/N: Right, I was in a hurry yesterday (and today, and tomorrow, too, most likely. Busy week. Busy month. Next month doesn't look much better, either) so I forgot to mention this, but yesterday's drabble, Peach Fuzz, was inspired by a piece of fanart by Fruitsexual. If you look at my deviantart account (link in profile) it's on my fav's list.
I'm in a hurry again, so see ya!
Jak