Maturin, may him and his harem ever be fertile and blessed, had left me with many blessings. The Mark of Maturin on my shoulder had shielded me from an unfair difficulty spike, and would later grant me a fraction of the power my allies in Clownland gained from defeating cosmic horrors. I was somewhat resistant to certain magics and mind control in a way beyond the gamer's mind which even at max level was not proof against divine mind control.

The greatest blessing was the improvement in the game's in built sound system. Now, don't get me wrong, there was some very solid Saw music, but the first two films didn't have the best of them. Zepp Eight? Amazing music, from Jigsaw, I jogged to it many mornings. Be surprised, great spooky music, Saw 3. Saw 3, Baptism, amazing. The original movies didn't have bad music, but it got better.

With my new system I could pirate music I heard. I had abused my power to get, among other things, every Queen song I could find. Queen was my favourite band, and most listened to back in real life, and very good for singalongs. I needed that razor focus now because I had a big task.

I turned on Don't Stop Me Now, at max volume. I had a plan. I was going to kill John Kramer. It had a sweet reward, and this seemed like the perfect time to try it since I was in video game lala land with no consequences.

I paced over to the mirror, running my hand over it. I could feel the indents, the little places where more stress had been applied and less. I slammed my hand into it, ripping out a pair of pieces of glass.

Rare glass shard. 4/4 durability, 4 armor, 10 damage. An especially sharp shard of glass with impressive durability.

I'd selected for extra damage and durability for my common and uncommon powers. My skill was rank 3, which meant I automatically got a common and uncommon blessing for scavanged items, and at level 28 had a 28% chance of a rare quality. This one was superior above the norm, with a rare quality of toughness and 4 armor. There was only a 1/3 chance of that. Lucky me.

Uncommon glass shard. 6/6 durability, 1 damage. A very tough shard of glass.

No extra luck on that one, but that was fine. I took a few more shards of glass.

Working the two shards of glass together, I worked the uncommon shard into a crude screwdriver, and head to the TV. It was time to build a Jigsaw killer.

I pulled the plug out, and began unscrewing the base. This would be delicate. Ideally you'd have wire cutters and a desoldering bulb and pliers for this since the components were held in with bits of tin lead alloy. I'd have to make do with glass tools. And amazing music.

I got to slicing wires, and sang along to the music as I sliced.

"Don't stop me now..."

I didn't have a battery in here. I needed some way to store power. Old tvs had a lot of capacitors and the crt itself often held a nice charge. If I touched this I would be a shooting star smashing into the wall as I convulsed.

I sliced the wires leading to the crt, the electron gun board, and some coils of wire. No shock yet.

I carefully unmounted the circuitboard after unscrewing it and began popping the capacitors out, storing them my screwdriver glass.

I carefully sliced out the solder around the flyback transformer. This was the most valuable part of this. These could produce a powerful voltage which I could use to power a bunch of effects. I levered it out.

I yanked out out all the other junk. Resistors, transistors, transformers, copper wire, diodes. Useful for electrical projects. In normal life these were junk you could buy cheap from china. Maybe worth 1 cent for each part. Honestly, other than the capacitors, most of an old tv was junk. You'd get more from the non electric frame. But, I did not have the privilege of ordering a bunch of parts from China to deliver to me in Kramer's murder dungeon.

"I am having such a good time." I said, as the song line came up again.

Yanking out the seat under the mannequin, I made a very crude new circuitboard, threaded with wires.

The basics of this device was that I would push the capacitors together. They'd give anyone they touched a nasty shock when they hit. There was a thin layer of wire above all the electrical stuff, which would make a circuit. It would burn out after a hit, but it would give me a nice edge.

Crude taser. 1/1 durability. 100 damage. Adds debuff, shocked. A crude taser you have built out of scrap you found, which will give enemies an electrifying ending.

I then equipped Pipeslayer, and felt the rush of knowledge. Formally the title gave me a 100% increase in damage, but it wasn't really just some magic. It was more a knowledge. With this title I knew hundreds, thousands of brands of pipe, I knew their life cycles, I knew where they were made and what the quirks of each were, and on average, I could damage them 100% better on average. A really well made pipe with no flaws, I wouldn't do any extra damage.

This one though? Yeah I could break it easy. I yanked out an old pipe from the wall. Using some of my clothes around the blade, I made a very crude spear.

Crafting success! Glass spear. 4/4 durability, 4 armor, 30 damage. A pipe and some glass can be very dangerous in the right hands.

Awesome, I got the journeyman buff on that. Extra damage is amazing.

I triggered packhorse. Behind a toilet I found an old backpack, which I strapped to my back. That perk let me find an uncommon storage device, and people might well leave backpacks in toilets.

I did need shoes, but I didn't see an easy way of making them.

I took the tape from the TV. I needed that for later. I started working on crafting more glass spear heads as I walked around the toilet, slicing off bits of glass to make sharpened blades.

I was pretty sure I was meant to solve this puzzle by closing the toilet doors and reading it, but I was a contrary person who followed no laws but the laws of nature.

I knelt by the combination lock and turned it, listening for the click as each number went in. 437.

I popped the lock and added that to my backpack, and headed on.

Some big pipe thing was in front of me. Lotta pressure in the heating system. I tapped it, and my hand almost burnt. I turned right, kicked an old bin as I went past, sending the metal rolling off and climbed up the stairs. Boarded up door to my right, assorted trash on the floor. Paper stuff. I scouped some up. Never know when you're gonna need some paper.

Ooh, another TV. I quickly dismantled this one as well, doubling the power of my taser. There was a camera hidden up watching the tv, which I avoided, yanked out, and started dismantling. To kill Kramer I needed to not be spotted.

"Adada. Daaa da da da daaaa" I said as the song ended.

Bohemian Rhapsody next.

I headed forward into the next room. This map was very linear. C- grade at best. Work harder game designers.

I headed forward into the next toilet, and glanced around. Bomb, TV and-

I heard something through the song words real boy. A man lunged at me from my left. I quickly responded, lunging with my spear, stabbing through his neck, slicing open his artery.

34 damage done! Enemy slain. 10 exp.

Blood splattered me as he slumped on the bars dividing our two rooms.

"Creepy dude." I looked at the TV. The doll was speaking on it. I reluctantly turned off Queen.

"… panel will open both doors. Detective Tapp, you must first find the object in the toilets to unlock the panel. As for the panel, I've gathered refuse from the obsessions of drug users..."

"Oh fuck you Kramer." I turned the music back up. "Why do you have such a shit obsession? Does every trap have to involve searching through literal shit? Ugh. At least with Adam it was in the bowl."

I pulled the paper trash from out of my backpack, and went to the toilets. They smelt of stale urine, shit, and all things nasty. I sighed again at Kramer.

I tried the toilet on the far wall first. Using the trash paper, which quickly got soggy and disgusting, I yanked out all the syringes, tossing them on the floor. I stepped away as some got on my naked feet. "Ew, toilet water."

Nothing.

I went to the middle one next and repeated. Success! There was a dirty fuse lying around the no doubt HIV and hepatitis covered syringes that Kramer had dutifully collected.

I wandered how he had done it. I briefly had an image of Kramer skulking behind some druggie, a greedy look on face. The druggie would drop the syringe, and he would leap forward with a shit eating look on his face and add it to the bag, fantasizing about Tapp digging through a toilet filled with syringes.

I had fuses already from the TV. I didn't need this one.

I left the HIV covered fuse on the ground, wiped clean my hands, and walked to the door. Next to it was a timer, counting down from a minute. I took out a fuse and put it in the fuse hole. It clicked, and the timer stopped.

I had expected killing Kramer to be hard, but no, he literally left me with explosives to take. I ran my fingers over the wires. He was a master of mechanical engineering, and made some pretty amazing traps, but I was pretty sure he was crap with electrical stuff. There was a wire that I was pretty sure would set it off if I cut it-

Really, it would be a lot easier if he left me with a red wire to cut. I would revive if I died, but I might be injured too badly to disarm my trap… but I was pretty sure I could disarm this bomb without it going off. Looked like he had taken a common mining explosive, ANFO, and done some wiring around the top.

I could disarm this, maybe. I was pretty sure there was another way.

"Mama, I don't want to die…" Using the glass, I sliced open a hole in the bottom of the explosive, very gently, and let the contents drip out into a paper container I had made. I quickly drained all the explosive powder and stored it.

I looked for a way out. After a bit of searching I found it. In my now dead companion's room (I hoped he wasn't a good dude) there was a switch. I probably had to press it. Video game logic.

The way was barred with pipes. I activated Pipe Slayer, and my ninja body, and strained against the Pipe.

Strength check succeeded. 36/24.

The pipes bent before my strength, old metal cracking and fracturing and I forced my way in. I took the explosive powder in my ally's room, and pressed his switch.

The door opened? I turned to the corpse lying near me.

"I am getting your shoes." I yanked his shoes off, and they were the perfect size. I pulled them on. I then stripped him of his clothing, and advanced onwards.

Two queen songs, and I was ready to kill John Kramer.

Explosive power. Durability, 3/3. Damage, 2000.

I had entered Saw 1 shoeless. Finally I had shoes.

Macgyver flexes on the saw dungeon.

This chapter was designed partly to show how far he had come. He smashed his way easily through challenges, ripped apart pipes, rapidly constructed a function taser, disarmed a bomb, and most importantly got shoes. All within the span of two queen songs.

And just as I in roleplay games seek to bypass all the traps to go kill the big boss, now he shall attempt the same.

Frescko. I have, he would enjoy not having flesh torn from his body and just having to deal with mental horror. If you have an idea for a psychological horror tale, do say. That said, he does generally have to win these things with wit, lies and sociopathic horror. He tried to outfight Saw 1, but only won by manipulating Gordon into action and almost died. He tried to outfight resident evil, but only won by manipulating Eve and Ethan into being his meat shields and almost died. In Saw 2 he faced a superior equipped team of sociopaths, and had to win by skilled use of traps and social manipulation and tactical planning. In IT he faced a godlike clown and had to win by deceit, sociopathy and wit to a man hating lesbian, and by persuading a divine turtle to help a bro out. He's generally faced steep odds, and hasn't been able to brute force his way out.

Guest. Saw 3 is coming. I just needed to recharge, rewrite his character sheet, and do some tweaking. Saw 3 will be a hard one for him as well, so grinding first is good. His enemies are now aware he exists and can enact countermeasures.

Obssessed. A prison breakout horror would be great, got any ideas of which one?

Guest. I know, I hate games which don't let me play a dude. This story is an ode to my hate. I want a man option in all games. Except Tomb Raider, that's pretty sweet.

Shawnofthelitter. The blue white stuff is actually a myth, annoyingly as I discovered. There are not two separate ways to wear it, that's a myth.

Guest. Yes, he can go into any Saw media.

Next time, Macgyver vs Kramer, the violent showdown.