PLEASE DON'T SUE ME GEORGE LUCAS! OK? K THX.
Beast Boy quickly flipped the switch on his lightsaber, finding comfort in the low hum of his weapon. It had a glowing green blade, the exact hue of his skin, with a polished metal hilt that gleamed in the light.
"Ah yes, so you do have a lightsaber." Darth Freak said through his black mask. "The Doom Patrol has taught you well, Beast Boy, however, you are not a Jedi yet."
Beast Boy scowled at the Sith Nerd.
"Dude, don't even go there. I've seen all six movies at least 30 times AND I even own the Christmas special!" the changeling replied, as he clutched his lightsaber in his hands. "And dude, my name is not Beast Boy...I am...LUKE BEASTWALKER...JEDI KNIGHT!"
Raven just sighed, wishing for this whole fiasco to end. "And I'm seriously disturbed." she added in her normal dry monotone.
"Very well then, Luke Beastwalker and Seriously Disturbed. Today is the day you shall die!" Darth Freak said, and raising his lightsaber, charged while aiming at such an angle as to decapitate Beast Boy.
KRRCCCCCHHH!
The green and red lightsabers collided as Beast Boy threw up his weapon in a classic defensive maneuver. Darth Freak attempted to over-muscle Beast Boy, but the Titan wouldn't give up so easy.
"This is futile, young padawan." Darth Freak said. "You are destined to die."
"The only thing that's destined to happen to me dude, is kicking your butt!"
With a mighty heave, Beast Boy pushed off the glowing crimson lightsaber away from his person and spun around with an over-head blow that was way stronger that it should have been. Darth Freak managed to block it, but found himself scooting back a foot or two from the pressure Beast Boy was exerting.
"Face it, dude. You're no match for this Jedi. Just let Raven and I go home and we'll call it even..."
Beast Boy emphasized this point by pressing harder with his lightsaber, bringing the red blade inches from Control Freak's face. Darth Freak roared with rage and, using the Dark Side of the Force, Force-pushed Beast Boy to the other side of the room, a mere foot or so from the edge of a massive drop into the reactor core of the Freak Star.
"Impressive, but not enough. Your Makashi fighting style is advanced, this is true. However, you are still no match for the dark side, and my Vapaad style is too strong for you to handle." Darth Freak said.
Beast Boy slowly made his way back to his feet and picked up his lightsaber, effortlessly twirling it around to form a defensive position.
"Trust me on this dude, nobody knows Stars Wars like I do."
"You lie!" Control Freak shouted back in his normal voice, "I'm a 12th level Space Samurai! You're nothing but an avocado that talks!"
"I may be an avocado, but I'm a sexy avocado." Beast Boy said with a smirk.
Fuming at such insolence, Darth Freak charged at Beast Boy ready to resume combat. Beast Boy flipped over the nerdy Sith's head with Force-induced acrobatics and, landing right behind him, swung the green blade off his own lightsaber. Darth Freak spun in a blur and parried the blade away and lunged his own weapon towards the feet of Beast Boy.
Beast Boy leaped 10 feet or so in the air in response, and upon returning to the ground, brought the blade straight down aiming for right between the eyes of Darth Freak.
KRRCCCCCHHH!
The red and green lightsabers connected again, sending a small shower of sparks in response.
"Give it up, Control Freak!" said Beast Boy "You can't win! You don't stand a chance!"
Darth Freak again Force-pushed Beast Boy out of the way, but this time the changeling Jedi master was ready and back flipped to a defensive position, his lightsaber illuminating the contours of his face.
"You are a worthy foe, Luke. However, both you and I know your one weakness. Someone you despise even more than me."
"Colonel Sanders?"
"Even more so! I present to you...your greatest enemy!"
A side door opened and walking in was, in fact, Beast Boy's greatest enemy. He stood about six and a half feet tall, with a very lanky appearance to him. He had long, floppy, wide brimmed ears, and two eyes which sat upon fleshy stalks from the top of his head. His body has sort of an amphibious appearance to him, resembling a cross between a duck-billed platypus and a dinosaur. He wore simple leather pants, bare feet, and a leather vest.
"Meesa yousa weesa hellos!" he said, in an annoying high pitched voice.
"YOU!" Beast Boy shouted, now filled with nerd rage. "You...you...SUCK!"
"Meesa sucka? Noose meesa nota sucka. Meesa yousa lika yous!"
"You like me?" Beast Boy said indignantly. "You LIKE me? Dude, don't even go there!"
"Meesa gonna beesa around for dawhile!" the creature said. "Meesa make lotsa monies!"
Reaching his breaking point, Beast Boy let loose a battle cry and charged at the creature, who desperately tried to run away. The creature didn't make it very far as with one VRROOOM of a swinging lightsaber, the creature was cleaved in half.
"Ooohh meesa hurting..." the creature whimpered, before finally kicking the bucket.
Beast Boy shut off his lightsaber and reattached to his belt, relishing in his victory.
"Sorry dude, but you almost made me become a Star Trek fan."
Luke Beastwalker should have never let his guard down, as seeing that the jade skinned Jedi was distracted in his vigilante justice, Darth Freak fully extended his arm with open palm and concentrated with his mastery of the dark side. By the time Beast Boy felt his lightsaber tug on his belt, it was too late.
The jade skinned Jedi's lightsaber flew across the room and smack dab into the open palm of Darth Freak. With the all too familiar ZSHRNOOM, the green lightsaber switched on, arming Darth Freak with two lightsabers.
Beast Boy turned around as fast as he could, only to see the green and red blades aiming straight for him.
"This is it..." he thought to himself. "...I'm a goner."
KRRCCCCCHHH!
Beast Boy opened one eye, wondering if he had made it to heaven, but instead all he saw was blue.
The blue blade of a lightsaber, to be exact. At the end of this blade, holding her own lightsaber, was Raven. The pale empath had swung her own blade at just right moment, blocking Darth Freak's double handed attack.
"Wha-wha..." Darth Freak stammered, the nerdy Sith Lord in complete shock. "You...you're a girl! Girls aren't supposed to know how to be a Jedi..."
"I'm NOT a Jedi." Raven said with a voice cold enough to cause flurries in Hell. "And neither are you, nor Gar. This is all a sick, demented little nerd fantasy that you're carrying out because you want Starfire." the empath scoffed, clearly failing to share in wonderment of a galaxy far, far away.
"It's deeper than that!" Control Freak said, lifting up his black mask to show his face. "I can get all the Tammaranian booty I want, for your information."
"Then what is it?" Raven said with an arched, curious eyebrow.
"It's...you see...SHUT UP!" he bellowed, shoving the mask back on his face angrily and blindly charging at Raven, having fully intended to dice the empath into bite-sized chunks.
Calmly, Raven waited until Darth Freak was a foot or so away from herself, before casually taking a step to the side and extending her ankle. The Sith Nerd tripped, and unceremoniously fell flat on his face, skidding a foot or so on his belly.
"It's over, Control Freak."
"ARGGGHHHHHH!"
Darth Freak spun around with his dual lightsabers, the blades slicing through the air and aimed for Raven's neck.
"AZARAH METRION ZINTHOS!" the empath shouted, summoning a wall of black energy that shot up straight from the ground, causing Darth Freak to smack right into it with a loud "OOMPH!", all four of his limbs splayed around like a human starfish.
"Bug on a windshield!" Beast Boy said, roaring with laughter.
Darth Freak's mask cracked open, causing his lips to press against the black shield, leaving a small trail of Ramen tinged drool as he slid down to a heap on the metal floor of the Freak Star.
"This is pathetic." Raven said. "I didn't think it was possible to soil the name of being a nerd, yet somehow you've managed."
With a sudden jump, Darth Freak mustered his dark Force powers and launched in the air, becoming a spinning whirlwind of lightsabers. The whirlwind spun in place for several seconds, before zooming in on Raven at a blinding pace and speed.
Raven disappeared into the floor, seemingly melting into a black vortex that appeared at her feet. Darth Freak's lightsabers struck the solid metal floor seconds after she had disappeared, sending a shower of sparks flying, and leaving two dark burn marks in their path.
"Argggh! Stay still!" the Sith Nerd said with irritation...but the irritation quickly turned to panic when he realized the pale sorceresses hadn't reappeared yet. "Umm...w-where are you...exactly?" he asked meekly. Beast Boy just grinned.
"You know dude, at first, I was like all into this Jedi stuff, right? But I gotta admit...it's really funny watching Raven hand you your butt!"
"Shut up! That scruffy nerf-herder is nothing to me, I am merely toying with her...yes, of course...I'm toying with her...haha, yes! Because I am so EVVVVIIILLLLL!"
Beast Boy's mood suddenly soured, his eyes narrowing into thin slits.
"Dude...don't ever call my girlfriend a NERF HERDER!" he shouted as loud as lungs could muster.
"Oh yeah?" Darth Freak said with a malicious glint in his eye. "Whatcha gonna do about it? I got all the lightsabers.."
"THIS!" Beast Boy replied ferociously and morphed into a bumble bee, zigging and zagging in the air towards Darth Freak.
"Ahhh! A BEE! Getitaway! GETITAWAY!" he screamed breathlessly, blindly swinging his lightsabers in the air. "It's gonna sting!"
Though the bee did not sting. In fact, the bee morphed into a kangaroo in mid-air and lunged his over-sized haunches at the Sith Nerd, sending him flying into the other side of the room, dropping both his lightsabers in the process.
"OHMMFFFNNGGGGHHH!" managed to escape from his lungs, his gelatinous body leaving a small dent in the wall.
"Lightsabers? Lightsabers? We don't need no stinkin' lightsabers!" Beast Boy taunted.
Darth Freak struggled his way back to his feet, breathing deeply to take back in the air that had been smashed out of his lungs from the Kangaroo Kick of Death.
"Lucky...(cough)...shot...(cough)..."
The Sith Nerd was a bit wobbly on his feet, but he was holding out well enough to focus one last Force attack on Luke Beastwalker. Force Lightning.
It took everything he had, every last drop of the dark side he had left his bulbous body, but he was ready for it.
"And now...(cough)...my young Padawan...(cough)...this ends..."
Outstretching his hands again, Darth Freak's hands crackled and snapped with evil electronic impulses, his eyes seemingly becoming a sickening shade of yellow, his skin becoming white and pasty (even more so than usual.)
"DIE!" he croaked, the Force Lightning zooming from his finger tips towards the jade Jedi.
"AZARATH METRION ZINTHOS!"
Up from the floor came Raven, now clad back in her leotard and cloak, instead of the Jedi robes she had been in before. Her hands, which were now glowing with black orbs, sent a solid wave of her own dark energy out at the Force Lightning and completely engulfed it. The electrical current danced and tangled itself inside it's black confines, almost as if it were trapped in a glass bottle.
"Ha, do you really think you can overpower my Force Lightning?" Darth Freak scoffed.
"Actually...no." the empath replied dryly. With ease she managed to snake long, black tendrils from beneath her cloak, trapping all of the Force Lightning in it's mystic prison. The tendrils danced in the air, till they were all around Darth Freak, the Sith Nerd too cocky and arrogant to notice what was going on around him.
Before he could grasp the severity of the situation, the black aurora had surrounded him and with the Force Lightning nowhere else to go, it bounced off the walls of the bubble and shot right back at him, frying him to his very core.
"AaarrGgHHHHHHaaahhhhhgghhHHHH!"
Raven let her shield down, Control Freak now smoking like a freshly lit cigarette.
"Fine..." he said weakly. "...you win."
"Took ya long enough..." Beast Boy said, shaking his head.
"We're going home."said Raven, wrapping Control Freak up in dark energy chains and reaching for Beast Boy's hand, clutching it in her slender, pale fingers.
"Whoa whoa whoa, wait...you could have gotten us out of here whenever you wanted?" her green beau inquired.
"Not exactly. When I phased through the floor, I found myself back in the bookstore. It appears whatever Control Freak used to suck us into his book is purely electronic in nature...there's nothing psychic or super-natural about it."
Beast Boy nodded, not grasping entirely what she said, but just happy to be holding her hand. An 'Azarath Metrion Zinthos' later and the three phased up through the floor at King's Books, stunned on-lookers staring in shock.
"Uhh...hey..." Beast Boy said, waving to the ground, still wearing his brown Jedi robe. "When they said I'd get sucked into a book, I never thought they really meant it!" Raven rolled her eyes.
"Finished with the Beast Boy Comedy Hour?" she asked coolly, but the shimmer in her violet eyes let him know she wasn't serious. Entirely serious, at least.
"You got lucky, that's all!" said Control Freak. "I'm not done with the Titans yet! Oh mark my words, there will be a reckoning!" Raven just shook her head.
"Whatever. You can play Star Wars with your cell mate for all I care."
A quick call to the authorities and the cops arrived to take Control Freak off to jail. Raven and Beast Boy made their way outside the store, happy to have the whole incident over with. Beast Boy yawned and stretched his limbs, thinking the Jedi robe was way too thick for a summer in Jump City.
"Well...I dunno about you, but I'm ready for a nap...ready to fly back?" he asked his Azarathian goddess.
"Actually Gar...how about we just walk back? It's...a pretty nice day out." she said with a slight smile.
"AWESOME!" he said, shooting back his toothy grin that she enjoyed so much. The two walked down the sidewalk, side by side, not saying much as they just let their silence allow them to enjoy the other's company As always, Beast Boy was the first to break the silence...
"Hey Rae..."
"Yes Gar?"
"Remember back when you saved me with that lightsaber?"
Raven nodded.
"I remember, why?"
Beast Boy blushed a bit.
"Well...umm...first off, thanks for saving me like that..."
"Your welcome." she said with a smile.
"...and second, you looked totally hot as Jedi!"
Raven sighed for a moment, before leaning over planting a quick peck on Beast Boy's cheek.
"What was that for?" he asked.
"For being you." she said with a smile.
"Alright, get in the back, scum bag." Officer Harvey said, stuffing Control Freak in the back of the cruiser.
"Watch the head!" Control Freak shouted. "I'm a Jedi master!"
Cuffed and stuffed, Control Freak was sitting the back of police cruiser 7182, heading to the slammer for some hard time...or so the public thought. In reality, these were merely police androids Control Freak had use to pose as police officers.
"Here. You. Are. Master." the 'Officer Harvey' bot droned in a robotic voice, unlocking Control Freak's handcuffs.
"Excellent my pawn! Go back into the city and await further orders!"
"Yes. Master."
Control Freak trudged back up the stairs to his apartment and, locking his door, collapsed on the couch. He was exhausted and sore from head to toe. After a moment or two of self-loathing, he stood up and wearily went to the medicine cabinet, grumbling to himself.
"Stupid Starfire...so hot and won't even give a real man like me the time of day.."
"Stupid Cyborg...thinks he's so cool because he's half robot. HA! What a newb."
"Stupid Raven...who takes goths seriously, anyways? Probably has a whiny LiveJournal..."
"Stupid Beast Boy...thinks he got out-nerd me? HA! I am King!"
He angrily fiddled around inside the medicine cabinet, trying in vain to find his over-the-counter pain pills. Finally, his meaty paw found a box of Valu-Rite 24-Hr Pain Pills. He ripped open the box and produced one of the red gell pills...
...and a wicked smile creaked it's way on his face.
"So Robin thinks he's the one, eh? Well I'll show him! I'll show him just how deep the rabbit hole goes!"