Heaven's not enough…you think you've found it and it loses you… -- Steve Conte/Yoko Kanno

Leaves sighed as the wind swirled past them, trees appearing to be breathing by this natural trick of life. Sitting in the sheltering shade of a grand oak, the gang had settled around Cheza, trying their hardest not to notice her labored breathing. Plastered smiles, fake twinkling eyes, failing hope. This was a much harder disguise to keep on than creating the illusion of being human.

Unlike Cheza who seemed to have a flawless façade of being blissfully ignorant of her illness. And that was the trick: pretending to not realize that her friends were hiding something. And she knew what that something was. But that was who she was; an innocent, wise young flower that feared nothing now.

She was not sick, she was dying. And she knew it.

But unlike them, so very unlike them, she was not afraid of doing so. Cheza knew it would come, knew what to expect. Yes she was saddened by the fact that she had to leave her wonderful friends but she had prepared herself for this many a times. After all when one dies and is born again a myriad of times, one adapts to the cycle. And it was that time again. But this time…paradise was pure, was clean. Not a single drop of malice had trickled onto the green grass of Paradise and so…was the cycle broken? Now that they had reached the perfect haven, would that be the end of Cheza? Paradise was life after death but what came after Paradise? Not for them…for her. Would she stop resurrecting, would there no longer be a need for a flower maiden and a chosen wolf? She was unsure…and that it was saddened her the most. Would she never see her friends again? Never see Toboe's bright, smiling face again. Never have the chance to laugh at Hige's comical stunts once more nor see Blue become more than just a strong female wolf but a heroine. And what about Tsume, would Cheza be there to see the rebel of the pack be the most protective ever again? And Kiba…

No words could describe the utter pain she felt when she saw him cry; those tears formed by denial, desperation and devotion. What he held inside, the emotions seething silently, Cheza had felt in her. She felt his longing for an answer, could almost taste his tears of sadness on her lips. She would miss him more than miss the endless blue skies and open fields of perfect flowers. No type of physical pain could ever amount to the shattering of her heart, knowing she was hurting him. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me was a lie. Words could slice through your very soul and rip it to threads. Three words could change your life forever, make you adore life or make you loathe the very idea of living. And what was worse than words was silence. Silence was a killer, ate you up from the inside out. Being ignored and unheard to others was a slow torture, no wonder the cold shoulder is so powerful. Making someone fidget around – wondering what you were thinking and why you felt a certain way about something – to the point where it simply drove them insane, that was pain. And that was exactly what she was doing to Kiba. She was practically giving him the silent treatment by keeping him in the dark, by not telling him what those veins symbolized. She was hurting him and it hurt her so much to do it.

"Cheza," Toboe's voice awoken her, Cheza having drifted off in thought. She placed her eyes on him and noticed a frown being the proxy for his smile. And then she realized that they were all frowning. Staring with saddened eyes. "Yes, Toboe?" She asked, her smile never faltering. Toboe seemed to be uncomfortable with what he was going to say next and all of a sudden tears whelmed up in his innocent eyes. "Cheza…why is your hair falling out?"

Cheza looked stunned for a moment and almost instinctively, her hand went to the root of her head and she felt the smooth hair, her fingers gently combing through her pink bob…only to reveal several strands of her hair in her hand. She looked at it, stared quietly, almost wondering whether or not she lie and say that it was normal this time of the year. But Cheza could not lie, it wasn't in her.

She looked up at them meeting their curious and concerned eyes and smiled faintly. Smiled sadly...and said what she could only say. "Like the leaves fall...when they are withering...this one hair's falls too."

There was silence for a while, the truth now having come out after so long. The wind whistled through, carrying her words through the valleys, the fields, the heavens. So she was...she was leaving. Dying is such a horrible word...means you're lifeless, you're empty inside and Cheza none of those.

She was leaving and she would be back. As always, yes? She'd wither like a flower then be born again, blossom and wither. That was her life cyle afterall, she was a flower.

She was leaving and would return...right? Like she always did for years and years that have passed and centuries to come. That was the greatest part of Cheza – her resurrection...right? She would always come back...she could always come back.

But not now. Not this time.

In their minds lay that theory, that haven of an idea that Cheza would forever return, a smile on those rosy lips, ruby eyes twinkling like no other stone could ever. Even as the silence settled between them that moment, their pain was faintly soothed by the idea...the assumption. And so as they sat down, eyes staring at the withering beauty, it was finally a little easier to breathe. They weren't holding their breath anymore. Yes, they had all come to the conclusion that Cheza was..."leaving," and of course it hurt to think that they would lose her – and painful, oh so painful, to watch her slowly descend towards...the inevitable – but it would be well once again, smiles would come true once more and their sorrow would vanish. It was the middle of the story that hurt so very much; the mourning of her parting. To watch her suffer...but she would come back...in their minds. That comforting thought would simply stay there...nothing more than a comforting thought.

Cheza smiled faintly and let the strands of her hair fly away with the wind. She would have to break their hearts...

"But this one does not do what leaves do...not anymore..." Her distant eyes turned to them and she continued down the path of shattering all of their hopes with words that cut and burned like a blazing sword. "...This one...will...will die. But not...not come back." So soft spoken came those words that weighed a million tons on their backs. She would not...come back?

Tears in Toboe's eyes brimmed, daring to spill over as Blue turned pale, her eyes gray as the skies when rain was near. Hige could only stare blankly, stripped of any will to laugh, to think of better outcomes. And Tsume...Tsume did what he would always do. He would not show his sorrow, would not show any other emotion. And so he simply bowed his head, closed his eyes shut to hold back the tears and stayed quiet – not to silence a growl of anger for this damned event but...for the sob that would escape his throat; that sob that held his longing for Cheza.

What was this nightmare! Was paradise was this if the heart of it all would die!

"...Do not be...do not be sad for this one...do not be sad for this..." She could not finish her sentence, suddenly choked up. Her lip quivered and suddenly her eyes were shimmering with water, her smile lost. Seeing that she too was in grieve, seeing for once their indestructible and forever hopeful flower maiden crumble like that...well the feeling was indescribable. Felt as though God himself, whatever God one believed in, had turned his back on you.

Before a single tear fell from those beloved eyes, Toboe rushed to his little big sister and threw himself over, embracing her as to never let go. He held back his own sobs but his frame shook from the force of those captive sobs that wanted to come out. Tightly he held her but ever so gently as he felt the others come over, their bodies keeping one another warm, keeping her safe. Even Tsume. Tsume's strong, tense arms were so soft all of a sudden; that facade of being endlessly cold and stoic died the moment he felt her sadness pour through him.

Cheza tried as best as she could to hold them all together, her fragile arms trembling for reasons unknown...She could not keep it inside, this sorrow that she felt so deeply. And so..the little flower maiden let tears run down their paths on her porcelain face. Broken, sad quiet sobs came from her and it was then...that it became no longer a nightmare. But the living truth.

Cheza would leave...and never return.

And the wind carried the message through the valleys..through the fields...and into the shattered soul and broken heart of a lone white wolf...somewhere letting out his angst at the heavens above.

A/N:

After a century, I have updated! And I'll update some more! Read the reviews and got started up again, I'm just stuck on some parts but fear not! I shall get this thing really started and soon….someone shall mend Kiba's heart. Don't worry, this won't die. I won't leave it unfinished. Hope you enjoyed it!

Sincerely,

Your lazy ass Maiden Cheza