Author's Note: This is very interesting to write, I hope it is just as interesting to read.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
By lunch I was able to form coherent thoughts again and scold myself for my moment of weakness this morning. I was able to put up my icy wall of hate towards Edward before entering the cafeteria. I walked towards the line to get my food but was intercepted by him all too soon.
"I already bought food for you," he whispered, I glared at him.
"I don't need your help, I've been doing this by myself for a while now," I whispered. I pushed him out of the way and continued to the line. I was surprised that he let me. Once I got my tray, I walked towards an empty table at the far end of the cafeteria. It was best that I had some peace and quiet to gather my thoughts. I sat down and closed my eyes. I felt and heard someone sit across from me. Great, why can't people leave me alone? I opened my eyes and saw the Cullens all facing me.
"We thought that since you wouldn't come and talk to us, we'll come to you," Jasper said sending waves of calmness towards me. I resisted and he frowned in frustration.
"Bella, please tell us what happened." I couldn't believe it, Rosalie was talking to me. I stared at her in confusion, she just smiled at me. After a moment, I recovered.
"It really isn't any of your business. Stop Jasper," I exclaimed. He stopped instantly looking a little scared.
"Bella, please?" Alice pleaded. I gave in and sighed. Alice reminded me that I didn't hate all of them, just Edward.
"The day after you guys left, I came to the house and found nothing," I didn't feel the need to mention the rose and the crying. "Then I went to the meadow and got lost. I don't know who attacked me but I woke up alone. I faked my death and left Forks." I finished and looked up meeting their eyes.
"Is that why I saw a fire and Charlie crying in a vision?" I winced at the name but nodded. "Bella, we thought you died. I didn't see any more visions of you so I thought that confirmed it," Alice said. There was one person that I haven't even glanced at since this conversation began and I suddenly let my eyes dart to him. His eyes were pitch black, a sign of anger. He kept his eyes on the table, not once did he look at me.
"Bella, we're so sorry. If we had known, we would've come back," I laughed at this. A confused look crossed their faces.
"If, do you know how long I pondered on the word if?" The bell rang signaling the end of the first lunch. I got up, dumped my tray, and exited the cafeteria. I knew I had to face Edward in History, but for now, I just don't want to look at him. I was the first one to reach class, I took my seat and put my head on the desk. I heard the chair next to mine move but didn't look up. Edward stayed silent all through the class. He took notes and never looked at me. When the bell rang he was out of his seat and out the door before I was. I wondered what was going on but decided it didn't matter.
Henry was waiting for me when I got out to the parking lot. He opened the door for me to get in before getting in himself. He drove to the only movie theater this tiny town had and bought tickets and refreshments for the two of us. I couldn't concentrate on the movie, my mind kept wandering back to Edward and his behavior in class. Beside from that, I had to casually shrug out of Henry's attempts to put his arm around me. Five minutes before the movie ended, I gave up and just stared forward as his arm wrapped around my shoulders. My mind kept reminding me that I was moving on so I would have to do it right. When the movie ended, I let Henry take my hand and lead me to the car. He seemed to be enjoying himself because he had a huge grin glued on his face the whole time.
"Thank you Henry, I had a great time." I sort of lied, but I had an okay time. He pulled into the driveway and turned off the engine before turning to me.
"Bella, I have been waiting for this for eight years. Thank you," I gave him a smile and got out of the car.
Once I was in the safety of my own room, I let out a breath and collapsed on my bed and closed my eyes. The silence brought back the arguing voices inside my head. You didn't give him a chance. You don't have feelings for him. What are you still waiting for? It didn't feel right. I didn't know what I was waiting for and I didn't know why it didn't feel right. It just didn't. I my window creak and a small breeze blew at me. That's weird, I didn't open my window. I propped up and went over to the window and pulled it closed. I turned around wanting to go back to bed, but I stepped on something. I looked down and saw that I had stepped on the stem of a red rose that was attached to a piece of paper. My name was written neatly at the top, I recognized the perfect elegant script. I leaned down and picked it up, separated the rose from the paper and placing the rose on my dresser.
Bella,
You asked whether or not I knew how long you pondered on the word if, but what you didn't know was that I did too. I did since the day I left you and the possibilities tormented me for ten years. I left you wanting you to live a normal, happy, human life. I never intended for my decision to be the cause of all this. At the news of your death, I wanted to end my own miserable existence in order to be along side you again but couldn't bear to hurt Carlisle and Esme. When you reappeared, I was overhelmed with happiness and disbelief that I haven't lossed you. I understand why you never wanted to see me ever again and I will honor your decision. From now on, I will simply gaze at you from afar and wallow in my own regret. I will never again disturb your life again. Happy birthday Bella. I will always love you no matter where I am.
Edward.
My breathing became jagged and I dropped the letter sinking to the floor myself. Why? Why did you have to go and write me this stupid letter? Happy birthday? I looked at the calendar hanging on the wall by my bed. It was only September 12th, tomorrow is my birthday. I glanced at the clock on the wall and realized it was past midnight. He knew. After all these years, he remembered. I got up and picked up the rose off my dresser. Was this one to say goodbye too? I placed my nose onto the rose, inhaling its scent. I got back into bed and closed my eyes in order to think of what it is that I were to do next.
Author's Note: What do you think she should do next!