A look into Sirius's personal life…
"The Official Sirius Black Snogging Journal" otherwise known as "Sirius Black's Little Black Book" also called "Why Girls Think Sirius Black is So Incredibly Sexy".
Written by the Incredibly Amazing Sirius Black
"My name is Sirius Black.
I live in Hogwarts. It is a very special place.
There is Lily and James, Moony and Peter, and the girls that love me so much."
Editor: WHAT KIND OF STORY IS THAT!
Sirius: But, but, editor! It's the recipe for the perfect story!
Editor: IT ISN'T PERFECT!
Sirius: -turns on the Sirius charm- But I'm perfect…
Editor (who happens to be female): -swoons-
The REAL Editor: CUT! WHAT KIND OF STORY IS THAT!
Sirius: But, but, editor! It's the recipe for the perfect story!
The REAL Editor: IT ISN'T PERFECT!
Sirius: -turns on the Sirius charm- But I'm perfect…
The REAL Editor (who happens to be male): AAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Sirius: EWWWWWWWWWWW! IT'S A GUY!
Chapter the First
I am SO HOT
Chapter the Second
I am SO SEXY
Chapter the Third
I am SO FINE
Editor: That is SO true, Sirius! Please, Sirius. Sleep with me! (At this time, Moony comes in, hears the editor, and yells, "We don't want to know!")
Sirius: I will, oh beautiful editor who happens to be female!
Editor: I love you Sirius!
The REAL Editor: WHAT KIND OF STORY IS THAT?
Moony: WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW!
Sirius: AAAAAAAAAAA! It's a GUY!
The REAL Editor: Didn't we already establish the fact that I'm a guy?
Moony: He inherited short-term memory loss from his mother.
Sirius: Did I mention that my mother is infested by a hundred hairy Bedouins?
Moony and The REAL Editor: -falls over-
Chapter the Fourth: List of All Hufflepuffs I've Snogged
Eliza Smith (Broom Closet)
Emilie Hollingbery (Deserted Classroom)
Alice Wright (Hallway)
Charis Cooper (Library)
John Smith
The REAL Editor and Moony: JOHN SMITH! THAT'S A GUY'S NAME!
Sirius: It's hard to escape your adoring fans when you look this good!
The REAL Editor and Moony: -see John Smith walking towards them- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! -faint-
John Smith: Huh?
Sirius: -snickers- I was just messing with them...
Chapter the Fifth: The Real List of All Hufflepuffs I've Snogged
Eliza Smith (Broom Closet)
Emilie Hollingberry (Deserted Classroom)
Alice Wright (Hallway)
Charis Cooper (Library)
Hope Thomas (Up In A Tree)
Rosa Johnson (Under Her Boyfriend's Nose, Figuratively)
Martha Lewis (Behind Her Boyfriend's Back, Literally)
The list goes on and on...
Chapter the Sixth: Sirius's Wishlist
- A Harem
- Beautful Female Attendants
- Well-Endowed, Scantily Clad Entertainers
- A Hundred Shapely Concubines
The REAL Editor: Hey, Sirius's wishlist matches mine!
Sirius: Really? Maybe we should conduct a search for these women together! Things will go much faster that way!
The REAL Editor: And when we find these women we can-
Moony: I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!
Sirius: Calm down, Moony. We'll just have our mature conversation by ourselves where only those who wish to hear what we say can hear us.
The REAL Editor: WHO WANTS TO SEE MY CALENDAR OF MODELS!
All Males Present, excluding Moony: ME!
Moony: -falls over-
I'm so glad I changed the rating to T. This chapter would be so disturbing to innocent pure-minded people. Who wants to guess how old I really am?