I promised myself to update all my stories on Memorial Day. I was lazy and nothing happened. Didn't even type a single word. And then, the next day, karma struck.

I stepped on me own toe…

So, I wrote a bit.

A bit. Then I stopped because I was lazy.

Almost a month later, I was running away from my sister because I happened to awake the beast inside her. And now she's threatening me as she reads this over my shoulder. But anyway, I ran into the bathroom and tried to shut the door behind me to lock her out but the Beast is quick when angered. She managed to hold the door handle in such a way that I could not lock it and I was pressing all my weight against the door to try and keep her out. So my head was almost up against the door but the Beast is strong. She pushed the door and closed in the gap between my head and the door. The door hit my head and I decided that this must have been a warning, divine punishment from the god(s).

So folks, here it is. Chapter the Ninth: The Clan of the Toe Stepper On-ners...

Lily stared at the large hourglass. The red granules of seemed to shine like rubies in the light. Lily stared as the sand moved from one half of the hourglass to the other. She stared some more, her face turning as red as the sand in the hourglass.

You see, the moving sands weren't flowing down. They were going back up. If it had been any other hourglass, Lily wouldn't have cared and would have dismissed it as a simple charm that a weird person put on a time keeper. But it wasn't any other hourglass. It was the hourglass that measured how many points a house had. And at this rate, Gryffindor was soon going to have a big zero.

"POTTER!"

James looked up. Although he was much too far away to hear her, he could sense the vibrations. Not too mention the whole shack was shaking, the table had overturned, and his chair was rattling underneath him. Yup, it was about time he made his way back to the castle.

"Good work, men," he shook the hands of his friends, rolled up the battle plan, and suited himself up in chain mail armor. "We'll meet tomorrow, same time, same place. You're dismissed."

Sirius snorted. "Remember, oh, fearless commander, that's only if you survive Lily. And might I mention the chances of that are slim?"

James growled. "I said, you're dismissed!" Sirius scampered out, muttering something about PMS and James. Moony and Wormtail saluted their commander and then made their way out. James sighed as he finished tugging on a gauntlet. He only needed to survive this night.

James sneaked quietly into the empty corridor. All clear. He sighed as he took off the invisibility cloak.

"POTTER!" James winced at the sound. He ducked as a goblet whizzed by his head, narrowly missing it.

"Yes, Lily dearest?" He cowered. Forget about courage! Forget about masculinity! This was a time for (in)action!

"Explain this!" Lily pointed emphatically at the wall. James stared in shock.

"It's so beautiful," he whispered, his eyes misting over.

"WHAT THE HECK IS SO BEAUTIFUL ABOUT A WANTED SIGN?" For there, on the wall, were four posters with pictures of the four marauders on them. They read:

Peter Pettigrew

Wanted for Thievery, Vandalizing, Contempt of the Law,

And Hanging Around With Miscreants

Wanted Alive (So that the School Won't Get Sued)

Reward: 100 House Points

Remus Lupin

Wanted for Thievery, Vandalizing, Contempt of the Law,

And Hanging Around With Miscreants

Wanted Alive (Because He Is Smart And Brings the School Honor)

Reward: 500 House Points

Sirius Black

Wanted for Thievery, Vandalizing, Contempt of the Law,

And All Around No Good Crookery

Wanted Alive (So that McGonagall Can Kill Him)

Reward: 1000 House Points

James Potter

Wanted for Thievery, Vandalizing, Contempt of the Law,

And All Around No Good Crookery

Wanted Alive (So that McGonagall Can Kill Him Also)

Reward: 1000 House Points

"It has been my life's dream to get on a wanted list!" James smiled blissfully. "For it to be finally fulfilled at such a young age!"

"You idiot! THIS IS BAD! All the other students are searching for you! The other houses so that they can get more points and our house because they want to kill you and hide your body!"

"Wow, that's cool! Will the roast me over a fire? Or will they stab me in the back? Or will they use poison?" James wandered around the hallway getting more and more excited with each idea.

"Watch out!" Lily pushed James out of the way before he walked into a trap set by the Slytherins (a strange green, smoky shape that resembled the dark mark was emitted by it). They both fell heavily onto the floor. Lily was lying on James in a most compromising position, complaining about the sharpness of elbows that jabbed people's stomachs. James muttered something along the lines of, 'ack, heavy!' Unfortunately for James, Lily had very sharp hearing and thus this remark prompted a thwack upside the head.

"Why, Lily-pie, if you loved me that much you could just tell me so," James tried to smile winsomely and was rewarded with another thwack upside the head. Lily got up and dusted herself of "stupid Potter pathogens".

"So… how did you idiots manage to lose this many points at once?"

"Idiots? We prefer the term 'The Clan of the Toe Stepper On-ners'."

"Pardon?"

"I am Mr. Chief-of-the-Clan-of-the-Toe-Stepper-On-ners. We go around smashing people's toes." James smiled innocently and promptly received a third thwack upside the head.

"Do you mean to tell me that this has happened-" Lily pointed at the wanted posters "-because you went to another level of stupidity and made a toe-stepping clan?" She glared daggers at James.

"Why yes, of course!" James gave her look that said, 'isn't-that-the-most-obvious-thing-in-the-world?' This look did not go past Lily's hawk-like eyes and she thwacked him upside the head for the fourth time. James rubbed his head and pouted. "If you're jealous you could just say so. You know this clan would never come between us! You are my sun, my moon, my- Ow!" Lily thwacked James upside the head causing him to pout once again.

"That's nice to know! NOW GO FIX THIS!"

"But Lily, dearest-"

"GO!"

Professor McGonagall sighed. Those Marauder boys were going to be the death of her. And now they were getting head hunted. Somebody knocked on the door.

"What," she snapped peevishly. She didn't want to be bothered. She wanted to cry because somebody else was going to get the house cup this year by capturing her students, her students!

"We've come to collect the reward for turning in the Marauders!" A muffled voice came from the other side of the door. McGonagall wondered how many people this person had told this news to. Maybe she could kill them and hide their bodies so that she could free the boys! She didn't want to lose the house cup!

"Come in," she growled angrily. Her anger dissipated and turned to disbelief when she saw who walked in. It was the Marauders! That was not surprising. What was surprising was that there was no captor! "What are you four doing here! I'm NOT going to hide you in my office just to get the house cup!"

"We don't want to hide." James explained and turned to Sirius. "Padfoot, you may have the honors."

"Why don't mind if I do. We're turning ourselves in."

"WHAT?" McGonagall shot up and out of her chair, nostrils flaring. Remus smiled.

"That way Gryffindor can have the reward."

"And we can win the house cup!" Wormtail chirped enthusiastically. McGonagall fell back into her chair. She smiled slowly as realization dawned on her.

The End of the Year Banquet…

"…And coming in first place with a record 3,164 points, Gryffindor!" Dumbledore smiled benevolently at the Marauders in the crowd who were slowly fading away. They were actually dolls stolen from first year girls (actually, Sirius's doll was stolen from a male but we digress) that were charmed to look the real Marauders and programmed to move. The real Marauders had been hiding in the shadows all along and when Dumbledore awarded the house cup, they set off all sorts of rockets and flares inside the Great Hall. Ten paper planes were flying about, trailing behind them a banner that read,

"SAY YOU'LL MARRY ME, LILY-PIE!"

What Lily said is unknown as there was lots of cheering from the Gryffindors but we know it has something to do with becoming 'Mrs. Chief of the Clan of the Toe Stepper On-ners'.

I tried to add a little Lily and James fluff in this chapter because one of my lovely reviewers wanted 'a little more ROMANCE'... Interesting how stepping on one's toe can give you inspiration. Thankfully, the knock in the head wasn't too hard or else I would have lost what precious little sanity I have left. Hehe... My ninth chapter... of weirdness. The number nine has a special meaning to me. Why? Because I was nine when I began to slowly grow crazy. Since this is the ninth chapter I'd like to thank everyone and anyone who reviewed! You people are my sun, my moon, my life! (That's what James was saying before Lily hit him... For awhile, I was considering calling this 'Hit me, baby, one more time' because Lily kept hurting James... but then I decided that the clan had much more to do with this chapter.)