Spatulas and Bandannas by Shikoku Chapter Three: Two Against One: Ranma's in Trouble
By the time school was finished for the day, almost everyone at Furinkan High had heard about the upcoming fight between Ranma and the new kids. Nabiki even knew more than the fighters themselves. Don't ask me how she does it.
Furinkan's yard was filled with people, students, teachers, and every bored person in Nerima. It seems these people have nothing better to do with their time but watch the neighborhood martial artists bash each other's heads in. Go figure. The fight wasn't ready to begin yet, so they were busy entertaining themselves, talking, poking around at the giant wrestling ring that had suddenly appeared in the schoolyard, and taking bets with Nabiki. For once the odds were not all in Ranma's favor. The statistics just didn't think he could take on two new opponents at the same time. Many of the people were there to see the Great Ranma Saotome lose for the first time.
Akane was one of the people who believed this. She was worried. Stupid, I can't believe he thinks he can beat them! Stupid, stupid, stupid.. With a worried look on her face, she glanced at Ranma, who was casually leaning against a tree. He looked like he had nothing to worry about. Why won't he take this seriously! He doesn't really think he has a chance to win, does he? She sighed, deciding to take a walk in hopes of feeling better.
As she walked she happened to see Ryoga and Ukyo both preparing for the upcoming fight. Ukyo was busy setting up various ingredients at his place in the wrestling ring. Ryoga stood by, stretching his muscles and limbering up. He glanced at Ukyo and said something, but Akane was too far away to hear him. Ukyo answered making gestures at the ring and then at Ryoga, who shook his head and gestured back at him, urging him to go on. Ukyo relented and smiled, turning away to prepare further. Akane guessed that they decided Ukyo was up against Ranma first. She then watched as Ryoga reached out and grabbed Ukyo's hand. Ukyo turned back to Ryoga, surprised. Ryoga said something, which caused Ukyo to blush. Akane could see the boy turn red from clear across the ring. Abruptly, Ukyo grabbed the lost boy and hugged him, in a uh, very questionable way.. It was now Ryoga that was blushing beet red, as Ukyo finally got back to his preparations. Akane, too, was blushing embarrassed that she caught this private moment. Who knew... She thought to herself, quickly walking away. I wonder if Ranma knew about their... uh, preference...
Finally, the moment everyone had been waiting for arrived. Ranma, finished with his own preparations. (Some basic stretches, warm ups, and quick psyching up for another win.) stepped into the big clearing the crowd had left for the fighters. Some of the people that were paying attention cheered for him, but most were still rushing to their place or switching their bets around at the last minute. Ranma glanced around for his first opponent. He saw Ryoga standing silently by himself, but the fanged warrior shook his head, indicating Ukyo, who was by his new okonomiyaki cart, selling snacks to the spectators.
Ranma sighed, but waited patiently (for him) for Ukyo to finish. To his surprise Ukyo walked passed him and jumped into the ring. "Coming?" He asked. Ranma nodded and entered the ring, too. The fight had now officially began.
Ranma looked at his once friend. He didn't really want to fight him. Maybe he could talk him out of it... "Hey, Uuchan, how's it going?" Hey, he couldn't actually talk him out of it. He didn't want everyone to think he was a coward.
Ukyo growled at him, clutching his battle spatula tighter. "Enough small talk. Let's fight!" He began swinging his spatula at the pigtailed martial artist, who dodged each swing, casually. "Come on, Uuchan, why can't we be friends?"
"I already told you! You almost ruined my life!" He reached into his shirt and pulled out a small bag. "Flour Bomb!" He shouted tossing the bag to the ground. Ranma watched in mild fascination as the bag burst with a puff of flour like smoke. Ranma looked around for Ukyo in the fog but couldn't see him, (which was the whole point of the flour bomb attack) until a large spatula came out and slapped him in the chest. Surprised Ranma rolled backwards, finally catching himself... by putting his hand palm down on the shiny metal floor surrounding the ring. The HOT shiny metal floor. Ranma screamed in pain, clutching his burned hand.
Ukyo grinned and went to attack again with his spatula. But
Ranma wouldn't let him get near him as he started punching
and kicking, while blocking Ukyo's attacks. Ukyo fell back
surprised. For he just found out what Ranma fought like when
he was serious. He was mad now, and everyone knew it. A mad
Ranma could be a scary Ranma.
"I held back because we were friends, once, but you're
gonna pay for burning me!" Ranma shouted as he tried to get
past Ukyo's strong defense.
Ukyo desperately tried to keep Ranma at bay. It would be bad if Ranma got too close. Ukyo was better at fighting at a distance. He was also good at yelling. "It was supposed to hurt, you JACKASS!" He shouted back, as only Ukyo Kuanji can. He grabbed a bowl on a nearby table and threw it at Ranma.
The mixture hit and blew Ranma up. "Just a little tempora flakes mixed with gunpowder!" He announced. He took advantage of Ranma's confusion and pulled out another bowl. This time soba noodles were thrown and wrapped around Ranma. He struggled to break loose, but the noodles were too strong.
"Hey, let go!" Ranma shouted.
Ukyo grinned. He got him right where he wanted. Now for the cleanup! He grabbed the noodles and began to twirl it bringing Ranma with it. Around and around Ranma swung, until Ukyo let him go. Ranma found himself flying out of the ring.
"Tag, Ryo-chan!" Ukyo shouted, "You're it." Worn out, he sat down to watch.
Ranma flew through the air falling. He concentrated on breaking loose from the noodles but still managed to dodge the umbrella that was thrown like a top at him from the ground. Still he took advantage of the umbrella's sharp edges to cut himself loose. Skillfully, he finally landed on the ground just in time for Ryoga to tackle him. Ranma rolled with Ryoga's force and momentum and kicked the fanged boy off of him.
Ryoga landed just as easily as Ranma had. Quickly, he turned and rushed at him again. The two boys traded kicks and blows faster than the spectators could follow, but from the sounds of the 'oohing' and 'aahing', the audience was impressed with their fighting.
Ranma flipped over and away from another of Ryoga's roundhouse kicks. He sensed motion behind him and ducked just as Ryoga's umbrella finally returned. Ryoga easily caught the thing and closing it began using it as a sword. Ranma was forced to play defensive but still managed to sneak in for a punch or kick. But these were few coming for Ryoga's defense was strong.
Finally, Ranma managed to kick the umbrella from Ryoga's grasp. It flew far away from him, near where Akane and some of the other spectators were sitting. Ryoga ignored this loss and kept fighting.
In the sidelines, Akane sat closely watching the fight. She showed no emotion, although inside she was still nervous for her reluctant fiancee. During Ukyo's part of the fight, Akane had been silently edging Ranma too take the fight seriously. For it was obvious (too her anyway) that Ranma had been holding back. Once Ukyo had the advantage, forcing Ranma to become serious, Akane began cheering him on. Has this been what I've been reduced to? She couldn't help thinking to herself, slightly bitterly. A cheerleader? She seethed silently to herself but soon found herself caught up into the fight between Ranma and Ryoga.
Her attention was broken, however when she noticed Ranma's friends, Hiroshi and Daisuke, trying to lift Ryoga's fallen umbrella.
"Geesh, this thing's heavy! How much do you think it weighs?" Hiroshi remarked as his friend struggled to lift it. It didn't budge at all from its place on the ground. Daisuke sat down, panting. "It must weigh a ton!" He answered.
Akane approached the two and tried her hand at lifting the umbrella. It WAS heavy. She could only lift it up partway. She remembered seeing Ryoga carrying this thing with one hand...
A shadow fell on her, and she looked up to see Ukyo standing above her. He must have sensed the thoughts going through her head. "Ryo-chan was always a strong boy." He remarked almost casually. smiling a little smile.
Fear pushing her on, Akane stood up and began shouting: "RANMA, WATCH OUT! He has the strength of a monster! DON'T LET HIM NEAR YOU!" She hoped he would listen to her for once.
The boys were grappling each other for control, (Why does that sound bad?) as Akane yelled her head off. At her remark, Ryoga grinned with a scary dark look on his face. "It's nice of her to notice," He remarked, almost casually. He threw a punch at Ranma who bent backwards with it, causing Ryoga to stumble forward, until Ranma was riding on top of Ryoga..(That one didn't sound good either..) Ranma had successfully pinned the other boy.
"So much for 'the strength of a monster'," Ranma smirked down at the trapped martial artist.
Ryoga glared at him. "Shut up, Ranmmaa! I won't let you defeat me!" With that he pushed himself up with one arm, until he had his whole weight...and Ranma's supported with that one arm. The crowed 'oohed' and ahhed' louder, amazed at this new martial artist's strength. They were even more amazed when Ryoga threw himself and Ranma in the air with the same arm. Once airborne, the boys twisted around. Ryoga swung at him with his powerful legs but missed. Ranma's kick, however, didn't, and Ryoga was thrown across the schoolyard. As he fell, he shouted: "Ukyo! Tag!"
Ranma received a kick to the gut as Ukyo Kuanji once again entered the fight.
Ranma was starting to get tired of this, but he still turned to take on Ukyo. Ukyo struck at him swiftly with his giant spatula. Ranma avoided each swing, ducking and dodging away from the sharp piece of metal. He tried to get near him to play offensive, but Ukyo's defense was too strong, making it hard to even touch him. I have to get rid of that thing. He thought flipping backwards away from another spatula jab.
Thinking about this distracted him long enough for Ukyo to get a clean hit in. He successfully managed to whack Ranma on the head with the flat of the spatula. Ranma stumbled backwards, clutching his aching head. This made him mad. He lunged forward and grabbed the spatula and pulled it away from him. Ukyo watched in horror, as Ranma bent his spatula out of shape, and threw the useless thing away. He then turned to Ukyo ready to continue the fight.
Ranma wasn't surprised when Ukyo backed away from him with a fearful look in his eyes. He figured that Ukyo would be helpless without his weapon of choice and be no longer able to fight. Grimly, he turned away from the okonomiyaki chef in preparation for the attack he was sure Ryoga was going to give him.
Unfortunately, he turned away too fast to see the sly smile run across Ukyo's face. He also didn't see Ukyo kick at him until the front kick hit him in the back knocking him forward. He rolled forward with the kick, quickly returning to his feet. He turned and met Ukyo as the boy flew at him with kicks and punches almost as fast as Ranma, himself, could throw them.
From the sidelines, Akane was silently ranting at him. Stupid baka! He should know better than to turn his back away from an opponent! However, she watched in silence as the two fought. Ukyo appeared to be as fast as Ranma but not as strong. Still, Akane was impressed with the okonomiyaki chef's speed. "He's so fast." she whispered.
Ryoga, who had been standing silently to the side, turned to her. "Ucchan's also a fast learner. I taught him everything I know."
Akane froze at that statement. She was suddenly worried for
Ranma all over again. She wished there was something that
she could do to help him. She couldn't personally get
involved in the fight, so that was out. But in truth Ranma
was handling his own pretty well, it was only when Ryoga and
Ukyo switched places that they got their best hits in. But
if there was some way, she could warn him before they
switched.
She began to study Ryoga, looking for some clue or sign that
he would attack. She noticed that throughout the fight he
always kept his eyes fixed on Ukyo. It was as if he, too, was
looking for a sign but from his partner.
Akane didn't actually see the sign Ukyo gave him, but she did notice it when he began gripping his umbrella and prepared to charge. She was positive that Ryoga was now gonna enter the fight.
Her cry overlapped Ukyo's. "RANMA! WATCH OUT FOR RYOGA!" But the tag was made. Ryoga was now Ranma's opponent, and this time Ranma was ready for him.
Ranma tried not to reveal how tired he felt as he and Ryoga traded blows. All of this opponent switching and constant fighting was taking a toll on him. Unfortunately no matter how much he tried to hide it, it was pretty obvious he was slowing down. It wasn't long before Ryoga got a good hit in. A hit with his umbrella across Ranma's chest which ripped open his shirt. Ranma glanced down in horror then back up at Ryoga. "That was my favorite shirt!"
Ryoga grinned at him, mockingly. "Ah, quit acting like a girl, Ranma."
If calling Akane a 'tomboy' is bad, it's nothing compared to what happens if Ranma's man-hood was questioned. In other words he saw red. And for the first time during the whole fight, he was mad. Okay, except for those other times, I said he was mad... "You take that back, Ryoga!" He shouted, slamming a roundhouse kick into the boys chest. This blow knocked Ryoga back onto the ground. From there he looked up in horror to see Ranma dive onto him from above in preparation for another kick. Ryoga knew when retreating would be a good idea. But there was no way in hell, he'd let Ukyo take Ranma on in that state. Best to just get away.
With that, Ryoga leaped over a giant wall of the schoolyard with Ranma right after him.
Akane watched in fascination as the fighters left. Around
her the crowd began to pack up, too. Some planned on
catching up with the martial artists to see the ending of
the fight. Others decided to call it a day and go home.
Behind her, Akane watched Ukyo race to the wall and leap
over it, too.
No one was watching, so Akane did the same. Well, somebody had to take care of the baka of a fiancee.
Ukyo managed to catch up with the pair first. They had ended up just outside the schoolyard near the water fountain. A bad place to be, considering Ryoga's uh, problem.
He found the two switching blows, Ranma just starting to cool off but not completely. He leaped into the air to dive kick Ryoga, but Ryoga saw it coming and dodged away. Ranma ended up kicking the fountain instead. Completely smashed, the fountain erupted, spraying water all over the place. With dread, Ukyo began searching through the mess for Ryoga and soon saw him as he ran out, his umbrella completely blocking the water.
"Close call, eh, Ryo-chan," Ukyo remarked to his friend, casually.
Ryoga only scowled at the water with hate in his eyes. "Too close."
"Uh, where did Ranma go?"
As if in answer a figure leaped out of the fountain of water and kicked Ryoga in the head. Ryoga staggered backwards from the blow, staring at his attacker in shock. It was Ranma... but not Ranma.
"Uh, Ra- Ranma?" Ryoga stuttered clearly shocked, "You're
a"
The redhead pigtailed girl wearing Ranma's clothing looked
up at them in confusion. Well, until she looked down at her
chest which was playing peek-a-boo through the tear in her
shirt. Ranma at least had the decency to blush, as she
covered her massive cleavage with her arms..
"Uh, Ranma, when did you become a girl?" Ukyo asked tactfully.
Ranma sighed preparing to explain. But Tatewaki Kuno then chose that moment to appear out of no where to glomp her. "Pigtail girl! I love you!" He crooned, just as Ranma booted him to kingdom come. She then turned to face her old friends/new enemies. "Go ahead and laugh at me. I don't know why you guys hate me so much. But my life's already ruined as it is cause I'm cursed with this stupid body."
Her enemies stared at her in shock, before each battle aura flickered on.
Ukyo found his voice first. "You call THAT a curse?" He questioned him darkly. He began pulling mini spatulas off from his bandoleer.
"You don't even know the meaning of the word 'cursed'," Ryoga added, growling. He began taking off his bandanna, but it never left his head.
Laughing nervously, Ranma backed away from the two. This was not how he had expected them to react. They were supposed to feel sorry for him and stop trying to attack him... not attack him more!
Each with their own choice of weapon in hand, began throwing hundreds upon hundreds of spatulas and bandannas at the pigtailed martial artist, until the sky was filled with them. Ranma eeped in shock, then began dancing to try to avoid them.
Thwunk! A spatula impaled itself on a tree behind him.
Bzweee! A bandanna cut its way through the wall!
And more Thwunk!s and Bzweee!s followed. Ranma was doing a good job of dodging them, but he can't out maneuver them forever can he?
"OOOOOWWWWWWW!" I guess not, as one of the spatulas found its way into Ranma's shoulder. He clutched his shoulder in pain, but the projectiles kept coming.
"An opening!" Ryoga cried, throwing his umbrella like a javelin to finish his hated rival off. Ranma so tired and in so much pain didn't even see it coming...
as it came closer...
And Closer...
AND CLOSER
Ranma turned to see in horror as... Akane jumped down from the wall and kicked the umbrella away, saving him from becoming Ranma on a stick. Ranma glared at his savior. "Akane! This is supposed to be a fight among men! Butt out!"
Akane swirled on him. "What are you talking about? I just saved your life, you ungrateful jerk!"
Ranma glared at her. "I could have taken care of myself! I don't need no help from violent tomboys like you!"
Akane slapped him.
Then the yard was filled with the late spectators. All of them talking at the same time. "Did ya hear that?" "Akane saved RANMA!" "I don't believe it!" "It's true!""...
Nobody noticed as Ryoga and Ukyo slowly walked away. They did turn back one last time to see Ranma trying to heal his bruised ego, as Akane happily told everyone what happened. But it was clear the fight was over... for now.
Next time: Has Ranma seen the last of Ukyo and Ryoga?
Will his ego ever heal?
Find out in Spatulas and Bandannas Chapter Four!
After I finish writing it.
All Characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi!