Probably cause I've been cosplaying as her for 6 years... trust me, you'd love anybody after cosplaying them...
So for what I do to you in this chapter, I apologise Shampoo...
Spatulas and Bandannas by Shikoku
Chapter Ten: Shampoo's Bad Day
Ukyo stood near the ring at the St. Herebeke High, watching the crowd gather. She sighed, wishing she didn't have to do this but knowing she couldn't let her friend down. Uncomfortable wearing such a revealing leotard in public, Ukyo vainly tried to pull the tight green leotard down over her backside better. She didn't seem to notice that half of the guys were now staring at her with lust in her eyes. She was too busy looking in the crowd for one face in particular. Where is he... If he's lost again, I swear I'm really gonna have to hurt him...
"Are you ready, Ucchan?" Akane asked her. Akane was acting as her second and assistant during the match.
Ukyo sighed and nodded. "Hai... Let's get this over with." The two stepped onto the small ring as the announcer introduced her, and the whole crowd burst into applause.
Just outside the building, P-chan finally caught up with the comatose Ranma. Shampoo-cat was nowhere in sight, but that didn't matter to the pig at the moment. He was more concerned about his unconscious friend.
"BBBWWWEEEE! Bweee! Bweee!" The pig snorted, trying to wake up the martial artist by pulling on his pigtail. For those who couldn't speak pig, P-chan's sentence could translate to: "Wake up, Ranma. If we're late Ukyo'll kill me! Come on, wake up, stupid!"
Slowly, thanks to P-chan's prodding, Ranma woke up. "Huh? What...? I'm awake!" He sat up and glanced at the pig. "What is it, P-chan? Did little Timmy fall down the well, again?"
P-chan sighed, exasperated.
"C'mon, let's go change you back." Ranma picked up the little porker and made his way to the nearest men's room.
P-chan sighed, in relief. He knew Ranma could be trained.
Ukyo was really starting to not like this Kodachi lady. Not only had she tried to poison her with those roses before she had even changed into her costume. (THAT had certainly woken her up), but she had made this grandiose entrance into the ring, making kissing faces at the audience and ranting on and on for ten minutes on how she was going to defeat this 'lowly wench'. Ukyo could definitely see the family resemblance between Kodachi and Kuno, now.
Then after the announcer had announced the rules, Kodachi had tried to shake hands with her with tacks hidden between her fingers... If Akane hadn't stopped her...
Ukyo sighed. Kodachi was ranting again. Don't these Kunos ever stay quiet?
Suddenly, Kodachi stopped in the middle of her speech to point at something behind her. Ukyo turned to see... nothing. When she turned back she found that Kodachi had attached a chain to her wrist. Attached to that chain was a cat. A familiar cat. A familiar PINK cat.
"Shampoo," Ukyo murmured, wondering how the amazon got into this situation.
"With that cat attached to you, you shall be greatly hindered in the upcoming fight." Kodachi declared, laughing under her breath then out loud, insanely.
Hmmm, I'm gonna be in a fight with my least favorite person attached to me on a chain in her most weakened state.. Ukyo grinned evilly (for her anyway). This should be fun...
And the match began.
In the men's room, Ranma dumped a bucket of hot water over the pig, turning him back into a deliciously naked Ryoga. Unfortunately for us, Ranma had found Ryoga's clothes and backpack, so the handsome martial artist began to get dressed. Sigh Well, we can't win them all. But there is always next time. The author grins, evil-like
Uh, where was I...? Oh, yeah.
Ranma sighed as Ryoga dressed. (Not because he was disappointed, too, you hentais. ) But because he was embarrassed for the way he reacted upon seeing Shampoo's curse form. "Uh, you're probably wondering why I freaked out like that, huh?"
Ryoga glanced up at him, as he was putting on his pants. "Well, the question did cross my mind..."
Ranma hesitated. Should he tell his greatest secret to Pig-
boy? Did he have a choice? "I'm deathly afraid of cats."
He finally admitted.
Pika Pika Ryoga blinked. "Really? How did that happen?"
"My stupid father, was trying to teach me this powerful technique that he found in a book. It's called the Nekoken. To learn it, the trainee, covered in fish sausage, must be dropped into a pit full of half starved alley cats."
Ryoga winced. "Ooh, harsh."
But Ranma wasn't finished yet. "Pop dropped me in five times."
Ryoga winced again. "Mega harsh"
Ranma sighed. "Tell me about it. I can't so much as look at a cat before I start to freak out."
"So, did you learn the technique?" Ryoga asked curiously.
Ranma nodded, "But I can only do it, if my fear surpasses a certain point. Then I'm practically unstoppable. Or at least I've been told..."
Ryoga made a mental note to never be around to see this. Being completely dressed, he stood up. "Well, I guess we'd better go... They've probably started by now..."
Ranma stood up to, and the two boys made their way to the door. But then Ranma stopped. "Oh, Ryoga,"
Ryoga turned to look at Ranma. "Yes, Ranma?"
"Uh, can you uh, keep this to yourself?" He asked, hopefully.
Ryoga smiled a fanged smile. "Sure, Ranma."
Having completed their "male bonding", the two left the bathroom to make their way to the school's gym.
Ukyo and Akane would have been proud.
Relief showed in Akane's eyes, when the boys finally made their way to her side at the ring. "There you are! What took you, guys so long?"
They glanced at each other. "Kuno was trying to 'vanquish' us 'evil sorcerers' again." Ryoga answered. Ranma sighed in relief.
"So what have we missed so far?" Ryoga asked, quickly changing the subject.
"Well, so far Kodachi has managed to perform every cheap trick in the book, and then some, but Ukyo's holding her own."
Ryoga glanced at the fighting girls in the ring. He had finally gotten used to the sight of Ukyo in a tight leotard, but something on her caught his eye. "Is that..."
Akane nodded, "Yeah, somehow Kodachi caught Shampoo in her cursed form and chained her to Ucchan at the beginning of the fight."
"Where? I don't see Shampoo." Ranma glanced around, blankly before Ryoga forced his head down.
"It'd be better if you didn't see her." Ryoga told him under his breath.
Akane didn't notice this exchange, and the three continued to watch the match. Ranma made sure he didn't look to closely at what was chained to Ukyo's wrist.
Ryoga cringed, as a sound of impact and a cat's cry came from the ring. "Uh, Ukyo's not exactly being careful that Shampoo doesn't get hit is she..?"
Akane grinned. "Nope, she sure isn't." She didn't know why but she was taking great pleasure out of watching the cat/amazon get hit... +
"MEEEERRRRRRRROOOOOWWWWWWWW!" Shampoo-cat yowled before she narrowly missed a spiked club. She was not having fun. It wasn't bad enough that she was now stuck in her cursed from. It wasn't bad enough that she was stuck in her cursed form and chained to her rival. But she was stuck in her cursed form and chained to her rival, who was now using her as a shield.
WHAMMO! Shampoo-cat was used to block a gymnastics' ball.
Shampoo-cat growled in pain. Ooooh, when I get back to my real form... She left the threat open, not being able to think of something painful enough to threaten Ukyo with.
Shampoo-cat had tried to come up with ways to take advantage of the situation. She had tried to trip Ukyo up or held her back. And when Ukyo had her locked tightly under one arm, she had tried to bite and claw her way out. But nothing she did seemed to mess up Ukyo or distract her for long.
But Shampoo-cat vowed to think of something. There was no way she'd let Ukyo win this fight. Especially not with her as a weapon!
As the fight continued, the contestants became more and more creative with what weapons they used. At one point, they had used the announcer's table, the microphone, and Kodachi had even used her own brother. It was when Kodachi tried to use a nearby teakettle, that things grew interesting.
From his place in the stands, Ryoga's eyes bugged out when he realized just what would happen if the kettle should hit.
Akane seemed to realize the implications, too. "Uh, is that what I think it is..."
"We can't let that thing hit!" Ryoga cried. He really didn't want to see what would happen if Shampoo should return to her human form. In the state she was in, she may even do something drastic. Besides, the last thing they needed was a naked lady to appear on the stage. Not with this crowd of perverts.
It was too late to stop the thing, but Ryoga found the next best thing. A fire hose. He turned it on and aimed it for the girls just as the teakettle hit. What resulted was a giant cloud of steam which effectively covered both girls.
"Akane, get the cold water!" Ryoga ordered, not wasting anytime should the steam evaporate.
"Right." Akane nodded.
Inside the cloud of steam. Two girls glared at each other. The brunette was dressed in a tight leotard, while the lavender-haired girl was buck naked. "Stupid Spatula Girl pay for what she do to Shampoo!" The lavender girl growled at the other.
Ukyo glared back at her. "I didn't do anything to you, you Purple-haired Bimbo!"
"Shampoo kill-" But she never finished her sentence, as a bucket of water suddenly drenched her. She once again changed back into a cat, just as the steam disappeared and the crowd was able to see once again.
Ukyo threw herself back into the fight, while Shampoo-cat once again tried to stop her.
Kodachi cackled once more as she dived at the okonomiyaki chef with her razor sharp hoop. Ukyo struggled to dodge each swing after finding out, almost the hard way, how sharp the simple looking hoop really was. At one point she had blocked with the chain that bound her to Shampoo. The hoop had cut right through the chain, effectively releasing Shampoo, much to the relief of both Shampoo AND Ukyo. Ukyo now was free to move easily again, but all she was able to do was back up until she had no where else to turn to.
Kodachi's laugh grew, as she too recognized Ukyo's plight. She raised up her hoop for the final strike.
Ukyo cringed and looked away. It was no use she had no where else to go. She had failed.
Then she saw him. Ryoga was standing in the audience staring at her intently. She immediately recognized the look in his beautiful brown eyes. It said that he believed in her. That he knew that she could do it. That he was rooting for her.
Ukyo briefly closed her eyes and vowed that she was not going to fail him. He believed in her; she must now believe in herself.
The razor hoop made its way towards her, but Ukyo wasn't there. Quickly, she dove under and between Kodachi's outstretched legs and rolled again to her feet, catching the surprised gymnast from behind with her ribbon.
The crowd cheered for this sudden turn around, and from the audience a small smile was found on Ryoga's face. That was his Ucchan up there kicking butt.
Needless, to say no matter what trick she pulled, the match went downwards from then on for the "Black Rose"
Like lightning, Shampoo-cat raced through the school desperately searching for some means to change back before somebody else tried to use her in some creative way. Luck was with the poor cat-girl when she found a locker room. Sure, it was one of St. Herebreke High's few Men's Locker room, but beggars can't be choosers, right?
Shampoo dashed inside and began to run the hot water in the sink. She hopped in as a cat and hopped down as a woman. She sighed in relief, glad that her ordeal with Ukyo and the crazy rose girl that had started this mess was over. She still vowed to pay both back ten-fold for what they had done to her, but there was little she could do now, especially in the state that she was in.
The pretty amazon then started to check out her injuries. She had managed to get out of the mess intact, but there were bruises all over her body from where various gymnastics weapons and a few creative standbys had hit her. She sighed, again.
Stupid curse.. She thought, bitterly, in her native tongue. It has been nothing but trouble since the day I caught it. It had been a long time ago, so she was basically used to living as a half cat, but there were times she'd really like to beat the daylights out of the boy who had caused her to fall into that spring...
Guess what!
Yep, another flashback!
The little purple-haired girl raced over the hills of her homeland with the little black haired boy racing after her trying to keep up. "Wait up, Shan pu!" He called after her.
Little Shan pu grinned back at him. "Hurry up, Mu tsu! Why do you always have to be so slow?" She giggled and raced down the mountain faster, coming to an abrupt stop when she saw what lay before her.
Little Mu tsu slammed on the breaks next to her. He too gazed out at their destination. "Wow, so this'-"
"Jusenkyo!" Little Shan pu finished for him. "Isn't it amazing?" The whole valley before them was covered with small pools of water each with a pole sticking out of it. A small shack rested at one end of the valley, but the children didn't notice it finding it uninteresting. "So this is where the grownups used to go to train." Shan pu gasped, still awestruck by the sight of all of the pools.
Mu tsu gazed at the pools, with a small worried expression on his face. "Shan pu... maybe we shouldn't be here. The grown ups told us it isn't safe here." He warned.
But Shan pu ignored her best friend, instead running to one of the poles. "Ah, you're no fun. Com'on, Mu tsu last one on that pole is a dopey duck."
Mu tsu shrugged but once again raced after her, not realizing how right ShanPu was about the dopey duck thing...
Oh, sure it was fun at first, but then he slipped off one of the poles and fell into the spring of drowned duck, which surprised me enough to fall into the cat spring. She laughed when she remembered the expressions on the village elders' faces, but cringed when she remembered the whipping she had received for punishment afterwards...and the fact that she was forced to keep the curse as an added reminder of her disobedience and lack of responsibility...
She sighed, once again, as she stood up to look for any kind of clothing. That was when the door opened, and who should stride in, but the 'Blue Thunder' of Furinkan High himself. He stopped and gazed at her in shock. Shampoo did nothing but stare back at him.
Once Kuno came back to his senses, well, what senses he had anyway, he pulled out a bouquet of roses, and got down on his knee. "Ah, sweet angel sent to me from the Heavens above. Cast thine eyes down upon me so that I may bathe in their beauty. I am, Tatewaki Kuno, often times called the "Blue Thunder" of Furinken High. Whilst thou date with me?.."
Pika Pika Shampoo blinked. What kind of language is he speaking? Confused, she pulled out a Japanese to Chinese dictionary from Hammerspace (Well, where else could she keep it, being in her birthday suit and all) and thumbed through it trying to look up the nonsense that is Kuno's typical dialect.
Kuno, of course, was unaware of the language barrier and was just finishing up his typical "I shall date with thee" speech."
"...So if you defeat me in combat, I shall allow thee to date with me, but if I so win...I shall date with thee."
Shampoo tossed the book over her shoulder. Now THIS she understood. "You can try, stupid boy."
Kuno smiled, prepared once again for a victorious fight.
Five minutes later, Shampoo strolled out of the men's locker room, dressed in full Kendo gear. The blue kimono and baggy/skirt-like pants wasn't really her type and color, but they would do for now. She then hurried to leave for her restaurant, glad that her bad day was almost over.
Inside the bathroom, a crumpled bleeding Kuno laid in a heap. He sighed blissfully to himself, for his unconscious dreams were now filled with four lovely goddesses.
The next day, Nabiki added Shampoo's pictures to Kuno's growing tab.
Somehow she knew that this was going to happen...
Next time: What is Sasuke and Gosunkugi's plan? Will Kuno
ever be able to make up his mind, now that he has FOUR
loves?
Find out in Spatula and Bandannas chapter eleven. Whew!
All characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi!