Chapter 3
March, 1998
Narcissa paced incessantly around the chairs in the music room. Usually the perfect picture of elegance, she now furrowed her brows and pursed her lips, practically searing the plush carpet with her stare. One arm hugged herself while the hand of the other was at her mouth, so close to nibbling on her thumbnail. She mumbled to herself and shook her head before she would turn to pace the other direction.
"Mother," Draco drawled from his place on the chaise, his eyes closed to try to hide his irritation at her pacing. "You're going to wear a hole in the carpet if you keep this up."
The Malfoy matriarch halted and whipped around to face her son, the skirts of her black dress twirling around her legs before settling. A perfectly sculpted eyebrow arched as her expression schooled.
"My son," she spoke softly but with a telling edge of frustration, "we have limited options and will run out of time if we do not-"
Draco's sigh cut her off and he opened his tired eyes to look at her, "Yes, mother. I understand. But what good is fretting about it until they send you an answer?"
Narcissa dropped her hands to her side and held her son's gaze, "Until I have the answer we need, I am going to worry. It is what a mother does. I did not think it would take the Order this long to decide."
Her son huffed a laugh and smirked, hoping to ease his mother with some light humour, "You asked the world of them. To trust your Death Eater son. That's going to take quite a bit of deliberation, don't you think?"
Draco ran a hand through his hair, the short blond locks falling right back into place as his mother sat gingerly on the loveseat across from him.
"Well…I suppose I was hoping Minerva could sway them to a decision faster than this. I had suspected hesitation–I would be more concerned if there was an immediate answer. At least they are debating it, I hope. I just worry, my son. I cannot help but worry."
Draco nodded and gave a small smile, hoping to calm her, "It'll be alright. As you said, we shouldn't worry right now. I'm sure we'll get an answer soon. They need all the help they can get, even if it's from their friendly neighbourhood Death Eater."
Narcissa's nose scrunched, "I wish you would stop referring to yourself as that."
"It's the truth."
She huffed, "I wish it was not. Your father…"
"No," Draco sat up abruptly, leaning towards her but speaking softly, "Don't make excuses for him. He is not the same man, you said so yourself, remember? You asked me to remind you of that. The man he has become is not deserving of your concern."
Narcissa shook her head once and raised a hand to wipe away tears brimming in her eyes, disguising it as smoothing her already perfect hair.
"Yes, yes you are quite right. But I will still worry. He was a great and caring man until that snake poisoned him."
Draco noted how her voice cracked just slightly at the last few words. His heart ached for her. Quietly, he moved to sit next to her and held her trembling hands. His thumbs rubbed soothing circles on the backs of her hands. He remembered the version of the man his mother referred to. Lucius Malfoy had been a wonderful father–kind, caring, doting, perfection—until Draco was around seven years old. Then he noticed the changes.
The affection he had witnessed between his loving parents had started to disappear. The praises he used to receive became less and less until they were the rarest of occurrences. Narcissa had tried to shield him from most of it but he vividly remembered when he had stumbled upon one of the fights.
No, not fight.
Beating.
That's what he had found.
An echo of slaps heard down the hall.
A small Draco peered through the cracked open door.
His mother…she was holding her face, looking downcast. His father towered over her, snarling insults. The small boy had watched silently as tears trailed down her cheeks. Her shoulders shook but no sound escaped her. Draco's mind raced, not knowing what to do. He was frozen. Narcissa's eyes lifted and widened as she met Draco's stare.
Lucius had turned away and so had not seen as Narcissa barely turned her hand to Draco, motioning for him to leave, to not do anything. His fists clenched at his side and he tore his gaze from his mother to glare at the back of his father. He could feel his magic sparking under his skin. It was boiling, ready to lash out. Hot, angry tears fell from his eyes and he looked back towards his mother. He felt his chest squeeze as she silently begged him.
No, she mouthed, I am okay. Go.
But she wasn't.
He knew she wasn't.
But he obeyed her and tore himself away from the door, running down the hall to escape to his room. She had found him later, curled up in a ball under his comforter, holding back his sobs. Not a word was said as she simply crawled under the comforter with him. And they held each other, silently crying.
She ran her fingers through his hair, murmuring to him that everything would be ok.
That they would be okay.
That she loved him.
Her dragon, her son.
Draco was only ten years old at the time. He had felt powerless and weak, unable to protect her. That changed when he reached fourteen. He became tangled in a fistfight after finding his father with his hand around her throat. Lucius was careful after that. Draco was a fierce protector and found his knuckles covered in his father's blood several times over the next few years.
Now he sat next to her, attempting to comfort her anxiety while waiting for a simple answer from the damned Order. A week ago Narcissa had secretly sent a message to Minerva McGonagall offering their services to the Order.
How long was a debate needed if they wanted their help in tearing down this revolting regime?
He supposed Potter and Weasley had to be consulted and were refusing to accept. That was causing the delay. He wondered if they would include Granger or if they would cast her aside as they seemed wont to do. Draco still couldn't fathom what she saw in those dunderheads to consider them friends, but that was none of his business…
A sharp tapping on the window pulled them from their reveries. Narcissa rose fluidly from the loveseat and walked to the window to allow the Greater Sooty owl in. The sleek owl swooped in and landed gracefully on the arm of the chaise. It hooted softly around the letter held in its beak. Narcissa stroked its head, offering a nearby biscuit before taking the letter. It hooted softly again before flying out the window.
Silently, Narcissa broke the wax seal and unfolded the letter. Her eyes quickly scanned the page before she breathed a sigh of relief. Draco quirked a brow and waited until she held the letter to him.
"They've accepted," she smirked triumphantly.
He slowly read the elegant script, committing it to memory.
Cee,
Wonderful to hear from you, it has been far too long.
A dinner date is a wonderful idea.
And of course, please bring your pet.
I have the perfect friend for him to meet.
I will call on you in two weeks.
Minni
"Interesting," he walked towards the fireplace and tossed the letter into the flames, "so she will be coming here to collect us."
Narcissa stood next to him, watching the flames as the letter curled into ash, "So it seems."
The two weeks passed by dreadfully slow for Draco. Anxiety was his constant companion while waiting for the impending meeting. Who was the perfect friend McGonagall mentioned? Where would they be carted off to? Was it all a ruse to just capture and cage them?
Draco played softly on the piano in the music room. Taking slow, deep breaths, his eyes closed, he focused his mind to Occluding. McGonagall would be arriving any minute and he couldn't help the sudden dread that settled in the pit of his stomach. He trusted his mother. He trusted McGonagall. He was not trusting of the possibility that they wouldn't be cursed at his mere arrival, depending on who else was in attendance.
Oh, wouldn't that be a fun way to start this little coup.
Draco vaguely registered Narcissa entering the room and standing next to the piano, waiting for him to finish the piece. As the last chords sang out, he opened his eyes and looked up at his mother. Her gaze was soft as she looked over his face, taking note of the tight set of his jaw and his rigid posture.
"Time to go?"
A soft smile curved, "Yes, she's just arrived and is waiting in the library."
Draco nodded and closed the lid of the piano. He walked with his mother through the maze of shelves to the front of the library. Near the door stood Minerva McGonagall. His old professor smiled genuinely as she looked him over.
"Mr Malfoy. I wish it were under different circumstances that I am seeing you again. Narcissa, how lovely to see you, it really has been too long," she clasped hands with his mother briefly before reaching into a pocket in her robes. She pulled out a ball of red cloth and began unfolding it.
"I assume Lucius will not notice you are missing for a short time?"
"You assume correctly," Narcissa said, her chin raising a fraction, "he does not bother us when the library is locked."
He knows better, Draco thought as he kept his lips pressed together tightly.
McGonagall raised a brow but said nothing and revealed the object in the red cloth— a black and silver harmonica. Draco noticed engraving across the top.
For my little one
"For the first trip, we will travel by portkey. The wards are set up to allow you entrance only once for now. They will be adjusted after the meeting."
The Malfoys nodded and felt the tug in their navels as they all touched the harmonica.
The view before them could only be described as straight out of a fairy tale. Draco stood with Narcissa and Minerva in front of an A-frame house. It was partially hidden by foliage and vines, blending into the thick trees around it. To the side of the house was an area showing new growth from a freshly planted garden. It was serenely quiet with only a few birds singing in the trees.
As they walked up the small, tread-worn path, Draco couldn't shake the mix of calm and anxious that he felt. He took a deep breath and focused on his wall and locked books, feeling the anxiety ebb to numb. Minerva knocked three times before opening the door and beckoning them to follow her. A small entryway greeted them, opening to a large open sitting area. He could see an open doorway to a kitchen off to one side, a hallway on the other side of the sitting area, and a staircase leading up to a loft that had curtains drawn. In the sitting area were several couches positioned around a fireplace and a bay window next to the doors leading out to the small garden.
Footsteps on the stairs caused all three to turn their heads as Remus Lupin greeted them with a smile.
"Mrs Malfoy, Draco," he nodded to each of them and gestured to the couches, "let's have a seat, shall we?"
Draco stood behind a couch as Narcissa primly took a seat, Remus and Minerva sitting on the couch across.
"It's been a while," Remus smiled again.
Narcissa nodded, "It has. You look rather well."
"Yes, well, Tonks has helped quite a bit, along with some other help. We're just waiting on one more person to join us but we can begin if you'd like?"
"One more?" Draco raised a brow, "not Potter and Weasley?"
Remus grimaced a little, "Actually, neither of them are aware of this meeting. They have their own tasks to focus on and this would undoubtedly cause them to be- "
"Absolutely stupid," said a voice across the room.
Draco's head snapped to the side and saw her.
She was standing on the last stair, leaning back against the railing with her arms crossed. Barefoot and wearing black lounge pants and jumper, her hair pulled up into a high messy bun with some curls framing her freckled face. He studied her face, noticing she looked pale and her eyes were tired but fully alert. As his eyes trailed over her, he took note of a few new things: a red line marred her skin near her collarbone and disappearing under her jumper, a bruise under her jaw that would be invisible if she wasn't so pale, a notch was along the edge of her left ear. He watched as her amber eyes scrutinised him in just the same manner. She scowled when her eyes rose and locked onto his.
"Hermione, come join us," Remus said without turning to look at her.
She didn't move.
"I agreed to host," her voice was flat as she held Draco's non blinking stare with her own, "I didn't agree to actually participate."
"Miss Granger." Her eyes flicked to Minerva who only gave her a stern look.
Hermione said nothing and pushed off the railing. Instead of joining them, she quietly turned away and padded into the kitchen. Draco quickly glanced at Remus and Minerva, analysing their expressions–or lack thereof. His former professors shared a quick look before turning their attention back to the Malfoys.
"I suppose we should start with any questions or conditions the two of you may have?" Remus offered.
Narcissa nodded, "Will it continue to only be the three of you? I had thought Mr Potter would be involved."
There was a scoff from the kitchen followed by the clatter of some utensils.
Remus took a breath before answering, "Only the three of us. As I was saying, Harry and Ron have some other tasks that require their apt attention. Given the delicacy of this situation, Minerva and I decided it was best to keep the list of people who know very short."
"The safest option, for all of us," Minerva added.
"I see," Narcissa thought for a moment, "I appreciate accepting our offer. While this will surely increase the stress on all of us, it will be a relief to help end this debacle."
Remus nodded in agreement as Hermione padded out of the kitchen, carrying a cup of tea. She made her way to the bay window as they continued talking. She didn't acknowledge the group sitting on her couches, appearing oblivious. She simply adjusted a pillow and sat down with her legs pulled up to cradle her tea as she looked out the window.
Narcissa continued, "Meetings will need to be sparse for a while, so we do not draw suspicion. Draco will be the main contact. If I am gone too often from the manor, Lucius will become suspicious."
"And Draco won't be missed?" Minerva asked.
"No. Lucius and Draco are part of the higher ranks but do not work together. Even though they are the same rank, Lucius does not have authority over him."
"That's interesting," Remus leaned forward, elbows on his knees, chin on his clasped hands, "would you mind if we discussed the rankings more later? It would help answer some questions I have."
"Of course," Narcissa said as Draco gave a single nod. "Will this home be the meeting point?"
"Unfortunately," Hermione grumbled from the window.
Minerva and Remus shared a look again. Draco found that intriguing as they had done so twice now. What was causing them to be skittish about Granger and her quips? She was usually quit-witted and her sass and sarcasm seemed to know no bounds. But he remembered her also being kind. He remembered a moment of comfort several years ago–he mentally shook his head and forced that book closed again. He refocused to the present and knew that there was something…odd going on that seemed to cause his former professors to be ready to spring.
"Problem, Granger?" Draco's voice rumbled and he raised his brow when she turned to look at him.
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Malfoy. I'm overjoyed to be spending quality time with a Death Eater in my home," her voice dripped with sarcasm but her expression remained passive.
"Miss Granger, I apologise for any hostility my son unfortunately gave to you-"
"Mrs Malfoy, please don't. Your son is a grown man who I'm sure could apologise himself if he truly felt any remorse. My irritation with this situation is amplified due to several other factors. I am not one to hold grudges as some people do," she raised her chin slightly as she turned her gaze back to Draco. "Give me reason though, and I will rescind that kindness."
Draco held her glare. What had caused this side of her, he wondered. He had known her to be stern in her opinion but not almost blatantly disrespectful to her former professors. That wasn't her at all.
Interesting.
"This house belongs to Miss Granger," Minerva continued as if there had been no interruption, "She has agreed to host any meetings and will be the main contact for the Order. She'll pass anything along to Remus or myself. As questions will arise eventually on where this new intel is coming from, we will deflect as much as possible and say that we have an anonymous source. We won't give the rest of the Order any indication that there could be a leak in You-Know-Who's followers."
"We'll adjust the wards around the area to allow you to Apparate going forward. You will not need to worry about anyone unexpected being here in our stead. Only Minerva, Hermione, and myself know of this house."
Narcissa nodded, "When this is all over, we do not expect any favour to be given to us for this. We simply want to help."
"You seem very sure that this will end in your dark lord's demise," Hermione piped up, looking curiously towards Narcissa.
"My dear you are mistaken; he is not now, nor has he ever been my lord of any kind," Narcissa's voice was firm as she eye'd Hermione, "We have unfortunately been forced to be part of a difficult…situation. If we had a choice–and no, we did not have any–that foul viper would have never been able to infect my family. I wish for nothing more than this disgusting regime to be gone."
The room was quiet as Narcissa and Hermione held eye contact. After a few moments, Hermione nodded and her gaze on the Malfoys softened, "Alright, I believe you."
"Excellent," Remus smiled and addressed the Malfoys, "Back to the matter at hand if we are all in agreement?"
No one objected.
"Right. Hermione and Draco will discuss timing for their meetings, I trust the two of you not to squabble too much over it. We will figure out a way for you to alert us immediately if you require assistance. Obviously, there will be certain instances where we will need to tread carefully but we'll cross those bridges when we get there. My biggest concern is keeping you both safe. If anyone finds out, we will need to extract and relocate you immediately."
"Of course," both Malfoys replied.
Narcissa, Remus, and Minerva moved on to discuss some new intel that Narcissa could provide. Draco was already aware of these details so he took to walking around and surveying the rest of the house that he could see. He kept note from his periphery of Granger still sitting at the bay window, turned back to look outside at the darkening sky. He peered at her from the corner of his eye, cataloguing every minute detail that he could. This was a new puzzle that he was intrigued to solve. As he made his way to the window, seeming to take in the view, he caught her shoulders tensing for a split second. Draco kept his hands in his pockets while he stood at the opposite end of the window. Hermione seemed content to feign ignorance at his presence.
"So Potter and Weasley don't know about your little hideout?" he said quietly, so only she could hear him. He watched her bristle but pointedly ignored him. "Did the Order ground you? Disobey orders?"
"No." Nothing else left her lips. How interesting…He would need to push a little more but tread carefully.
"So they just left you behind for whatever tasks are so important for Boy Wonder and his sidekick to take care of?" He raised a brow but kept his expression blank.
She returned it with her own, "Malfoy, you have the rest of your life to be a prick, can you take a day off for once?"
There she was.
He smirked and leaned against the window frame, looking back out to the stars now adorning the sky through the clearing. His face changed back to indifference when he looked back to her, "I'm sure you already have a form of communication sorted out?"
After a moment of studying him, she reached behind the pillow next to her and pulled out a small, black velvet drawstring bag. She pulled the cords open and poured the contents into her hand. There were two small obsidian bands glistening back at him. She held her open palm to him and he picked up one of the bands, careful to not touch her skin. The ring was small, barely large enough to slip onto his index finger.
"If you tap against it while wearing it, mine will warm for a few seconds. If it's urgent, tapping more will cause the warmth to stay longer and increase until it's practically burning. It won't be noticed except by those who know it's there," she explained as she slipped a ring onto her right ring finger. She tapped twice quickly and Draco felt the ring between his fingers warm gently.
"You created this?" he asked as he slipped the ring onto his right index finger.
She nodded and turned her attention once more to the window, "It took awhile to perfect and I think there could still be improvements. But the rudimentary charms on it work for simple purposes."
"Impressive," his hands returned to his pockets, "Meeting days then?"
She shrugged, "My social calendar is currently bare. But I don't see the point in meeting more than every other week."
He nodded but couldn't take his eyes from her. She looked pained as she looked out the window. It was the smallest show of emotion on her face but he could read it plainly as if she had said it herself. He didn't see anything outside that could warrant that feeling, so what was worrying her?
Why was Granger such a complexity for him?
"Draco," his mother called for him as she stood near the front door with Remus and Minerva.
Draco said nothing to Hermione as he moved to join Narcissa. She stayed at the window, her gaze fixed outside.
"The Apparition point is back where the portkey landed us. Be safe, both of you," Minerva squeezed one of Narcissa's hands briefly.
"Of course," the blonde smiled and bid them all good night. Draco simply nodded and turned to follow her. They walked to the Apparition point in silence. Draco couldn't help but scrutinise his interaction with Granger in almost microscopic detail. He didn't know what it was but she was currently captivating to him. So different from the girl he knew at Hogwarts. Before he could delve any further, he swiftly locked the memories away in a book to prepare for the pending arrival back to the Manor.
I am too sober for all of this, he thought wryly as the crack of Apparition echoed, leaving behind two figures in the open doorway and the third still sitting at the window, tears silently trailing down her cheeks.
He bolted upright, his legs tangling in the navy silk sheets. Sweat trailed down his face and his chest heaved. Wide eyes darted around the moonlit room. Everything was still except for the gentle breeze coming through the opened balcony doors. He swung his legs over the side and gasped, trying to take deeper breaths to calm his racing heart. His mind raced, shelves being knocked down and latched books falling open. His hands flexed and clenched into fists on his knees. His eyes were scrunched close as he reorganised his shelves. After everything was back into place and his heart finally beat a normal rhythm, Draco opened his eyes and slumped over, hands raking through his hair.
What the fuck…?
He thought he had been dreaming but no, he had managed to make it fully through the memory of that fateful night meeting Granger. For some reason, his mind wouldn't let him linger in any memories involving her. As if protecting itself, it would force him out of the memory and a panic attack would ensue. From researching and stubborn refusal to see a Mind Healer, Draco determined that his Occlumency had caused his subconscious to develop a self-preservation mode. And apparently the memories of Granger were traumatic enough to make it go haywire. He found this strange but interesting considering it didn't happen with any memories containing his father or Voldemort.
You're not even around and you're fucking with my head, Granger, he thought with a smirk and huffed a laugh.
He finally rose from the bed and stretched out the panicked muscles which fought the offending action. Quietly, he walked to the balcony window and leaned on the frame with one arm, hand cradling his head. The light from the full moon illuminated the grounds and he could see the stillness out in the expansive fields. Draco breathed deeply, taking in the calming scents from the gardens below. Cloves and citrus filled his senses and his eyes fixed on the tattoo of vines that crawled from his right wrist up his forearm and wrapped around his shoulder. The ink charmed to stay as dark as the day it pierced his skin. His gaze scanned up and he lowered his arm with his hand in front of his face.
On his index finger still sat the offending ring. It hadn't warmed since she left. Draco had tried to convince himself that logically he should take it off, that it would never warm again. He had tried using it for months, tapping it incessantly at times. He thought maybe, just maybe, if he was persistent enough, she would come back.
The ring stayed cold.
Draco shook his head and blinked quickly, refusing to let any tears fall. When was the last time he cried? No, he wasn't going to start now. He looked back out over the quiet landscaped and watched a shadow run through the tall grass of the moonlit field. He implicitly trusted Theo's wards and let out the breath he'd been holding.
The werewolves can't come onto the grounds, you bloody idiot.
Draco sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he turned and walked back to his empty bed. He couldn't hold back the grimace when he looked to the other side as he lay back down. He closed his eyes and willed himself back to sleep, hoping his books stayed latched this time.
She swiped furiously at the tears drenching her face. She refused to turn and look at the other two. She wouldn't do it. They were forcing her into this situation and she couldn't help the disdain she felt towards them.
"Hermione," Remus had an edge to his voice, "was the attitude really necessary?"
She scoffed, "Really Remus? You're going to chastise me for my attitude towards a Death Eater and his mother? I think you've lost your mind."
"I know you don't-"
"You know and yet you don't care. If you did, you wouldn't ask me to do this. You wouldn't have even contemplated making this request of me. And yet you did. Spare me your pity because you're full of shit."
"Oh Hermione," Minerva whispered and put a hand on Hermione's shoulder, "we wouldn't ask this of you if we didn't think you could handle it. You're my brightest student–quite frankly, my favourite. There is nothing you cannot do."
Hermione shook her head and bit her lip, "I didn't want this. I didn't want any of this. And I certainly didn't want to have to dance around Draco Malfoy of all people while dealing with it."
She didn't look at them when she stood and walked past, heading towards the stairs. She kept her gaze forward when Remus gently grabbed her arm.
"If there was some way we could fix it, you know we would. I-"
"Don't. Don't you dare," she choked back the sob and ripped her arm from his grasp, "I am separated from my friends, my family. You are asking me to keep up this charade for however long and wade through hell while doing it. Don't try to act like I had a choice in the matter either. And stop trying to make promises that are empty."
She turned and her eyes flickered to the window before settling on Remus. He and Minerva had sorrowful expressions and she felt the anger bubbling in her throat at the sight. She bit back the bile and hateful words that ached to escape.
Breath, Hermione, you have control, she took a deep breath.
"I…I need time alone right now, please," she whispered so softly she thought they might not hear her, "It's getting worse and right now, I can't…I don't want to hurt either of you. Please."
Hermione didn't wait for a response. She whirled around and raced up the stairs to the loft area, the damned tears nearly blinding her.