Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling. I make no profit from writing this.
Watching It All Disappear
Harry looked at the rain clouds. Had he been a normal, regular boy, he would've thought it a coincidence. However, being the wizard he was, he knew it was no such thing. It was just too fitting to have the decisive battle with Voldemort in a rainstorm.
Ron was standing at Harry's right and Hermione at left. They had been through thick and thin together when hunting for the Horcruxes all over the world, but it was over now. Each and every single one of the disgusting objects were destroyed and the final confrontation was about to begin.
A lightning flashed and the thunder clapped right afterwards. The whole staff of Hogwarts was standing in a neat row in front of the school's main entrance. No dark wizard would get through. The house elves were guarding the younger students in the main hall but the teachers and older students would give their lives to keep the battle away from them. The air was thick with anticipation.
"Here they come," Harry said when he felt Voldemort's presence coming closer. Ron was still a bit uneasy about Harry's recently found talent at sensing the dark wizard but he said nothing. Everyone was squeezing their wands tightly in their hands. The moment was near. The nightmare was finally reaching its conclusion, one way or the other.
Harry looked at Voldemort's approaching figure. On its left was the unmistakable, curvy form of Bellatrix Black and on the right the person Harry hated most after Voldemort. Severus Snape. The traitor, murderer and all-around bastard of the dungeons. Only, the bat hadn't been residing in its usual haunt for the past year. Harry found he couldn't possibly care less what the greasy git had been up to recently. Probably scheming with his dark wizard friends.
Then Harry had no time to think about anything. Voldemort fired the first curse and the battle started. The usually peaceful yard of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry turned into a bloody battlefield. Curses were flying in every direction and agonized death screams filled the air.
Harry was distantly aware of Ron and Hermione fighting beside him but they were in the background. Harry's sole concentration was on the three characters leading the attack: Bellatrix, Voldemort and Snape. However, soon it was only Voldemort and Snape since Bellatrix left the two to go hunting. Harry didn't know what the madwoman was after nor did he really care. She would pay for what she did to Sirius, but defeating Voldemort and Snape came first.
The battle raged on and lives were lost on both sides. Harry was facing off Voldemort and Snape. Or, to put it more accurately, Harry was trying to hex the Dark Lord while the said Dark Lord was laughing so hard his sides must be aching.
"Pathetic, Potter!" he hooted with laughter. Harry's every hex was thrown almost casually aside the very second it left his wand. Voldemort had yet to attack.
"Avada kedavra!" Harry finally tried but it didn't work. Voldemort didn't even bother to do anything to try and stop the Unforgivable that never came.
"Honestly Potter, you have obviously learned nothing in that old building," Voldemort sneered and pointed at the castle. No Death Eater had breached the line of defence yet but the teachers and Order members were tiring. The fighting had to stop but Harry couldn't do it. He did not have the strength, knowledge or hatred required to do so.
"Guess you take after your mudblood mother," Voldemort laughed and that was the final straw. Only, it was not Harry who reacted but Snape.
"For crying out loud, Potter, can't you even hate properly?" Snape said as he tossed his mask aside and grabbed Voldemort's wand. The Dark Lord threw him a look of utter hatred and betrayal and tried to shake his wand free but Snape whispered some kind of incantation. As a result, a bright light shot out of Voldemort's wand and Snape's hand, connecting the two.
"Now, Potter, I can only hold him for a few moments, kill the bastard who killed your parents, that disgusting mutt Black and numerous other people. Just hate him from the bottom of your heart and DO IT!" he howled. Sweat was beading on Snape's forehead and he was shaking violently.
Harry was confused. What on earth was Snape doing? He was a backstabbing bastard. Why was he helping them? Harry swallowed his confusion and concentrated on hating. He pictured every single person he knew that had been killed by Voldemort and imagined how they had died. He pulled forth all the pain he had ever felt. It was all Voldemort's fault, every ounce of it. He took a deep breath and screamed at the top of his lungs:
"AVADA KEDAVRA you fucking bastard!"
A bright green light shot out from Harry's wand and hit Voldemort square in the chest. He was thrown back with a look of utter disbelief on his face and then he was no more. Quite literally: the dark wizard exploded to a million pieces.
Snape, who was still holding Voldemort's wand, was thrown back by the power of the explosion and he slumped limply to the ground. A few moments passed without anything happening. It seemed like no one dared to believe that Voldemort was truly dead. Then the Death Eaters' arms started to explode.
Harry looked around in alarm when revolting, wet, meaty pops were sounding all around him. It was then that he truly noticed Ron and Hermione for the first time since the battle had started. Ron was lying on the ground and Hermione was holding his head in her lap and petting his red hair.
"Hermione! You two okay?" Harry asked.
"Yeah, he's just unconscious, but what did you do? What's happening?"
Harry felt like the sky had fallen. Hermione didn't know. He had wished she could explain it all to him. However, it was Headmistress McGonagall and deputy headmaster Flitwick who came over and helped him make sense of the situation.
"Fascinating, absolutely fascinating," Flitwick muttered as he kneeled by a random Death Eater and looked at the mess of blood that was all that was left of his left arm. McGonagall cleared her throat meaningfully and Flitwick was startled out of his observations.
He then launched into an explanation about how Voldemort had been as evil as can be, but also a genius. The others cringed at that but didn't interrupt the short man. He marveled at how much stronger the Dark Mark had been than he had thought. He had studied Snape's Mark until the Potions Master physically kicked the smaller man out of his rooms, but Flitwick had never sensed that the Mark could work even after Voldemort's death. He stopped his monologue when he noticed everyone around him was cheering and laughing and crying.
"What?" he asked.
"Don't you get it? This means he is truly dead this time and never coming back," McGonagall said with more cheer than Flitwick had ever heard in the stern woman's voice. Then it hit him home as well. It was over now.
"There's one thing I don't understand," Harry suddenly said. He kneeled by Snape and turned the thin man over so that he was lying on his back. "Why did he help me? He was killed by the same spell that finished off Voldemort and he must've known it would happen. He was a Slytherin bastard and they don't sacrifice their lives for anyone, so why did he do it?"
McGonagall sat on the ground next to Harry. She put her hand on the young man's shoulder and looked down at her ex-colleague. Severus Snape had never been beautiful in life and neither was he in death. He had died with his face scrunched up in pain. His left shoulder ended in a bloody stump that wasn't bleeding anymore if it indeed had at all.
"What you must understand, Harry, is that there is more to people than what House they used to belong to. Did you even know that the Sorting Hat contemplated on putting Severus to Hufflepuff?" she said and enjoyed the look of utter disbelief on the youngsters' faces.
"No frigging way," said Ron who had just woken up to hear news that nearly put him under again. McGonagall only smiled but soon continued.
"I spoke with Dumbledore's portrait. I now know more than I ever wanted to. Severus was with us to the very end. Or who do you think gave you all the clues to find the missing Horcruxes? Who do you think called anonymous bomb-threats to muggle places only minutes before they were to be raided by Death Eaters?"
Everyone around the Headmistress was absolutely dumbfounded. Sure, they had wondered about the cryptic clues they kept finding but never had they thought Snape could be leaving them.
"But, but, but he was evil," Harry said in his last defence but it was feeble. He looked at the fallen man. Whatever Snape had been doing for the past year, it certainly hadn't agreed with him. He was thinner than before and there was grey in his hair and new lines in his face. It was easy to believe him to be evil. Harry certainly had, ever since the first moment he had laid his eyes on the black-haired man. Now, however, Snape just looked – well, apart from dead – really tired.
"I guess I owe you a long-overdue apology," he finally said to Snape's unmoving corpse. "You have only ever tried to help me, in your own sometimes twisted way. I never appreciated it, calling you a bastard instead. I'm sorry."
"My, Harry, you have really grown this year," McGonagall said, beaming with pride. Hermione had tears in her eyes but Ron was looking slightly nauseous. Harry might've had some moment of enlightenment but he certainly had not. However, he kept his thoughts to himself. He was too happy about their victory to be sour over Snape of all people.
"Wait, what's that?" Hermione suddenly asked. She was pointing to something glassy that was peeking out of Snape's only remaining sleeve. Harry closed his hand around the object and pulled it out. It was a small glass vial with an envelope wrapped around it. Harry used his magic to shake the envelope loose and everyone around him – including Harry himself – drew a quick breath.
"Lupin?" Harry was the first to recover the ability to form words. There was no mistaking the name or the familiar scrawl that it was written with. Snape had indeed left a letter for Remus Lupin. It was only then that Harry realized he didn't know where the said werewolf was.
"Someone called me?" Speak of the furry creature. Lupin came over, brushing something red and organic-looking from the front of his robes. He had been right next to a Death Eater whose arm had exploded.
"Yeah, there's a letter for you," Harry said after everyone in the small group had made sure everyone else was all right. Lupin looked at the envelope for a few moments before he swallowed and opened it. Nothing extraordinary happened and Lupin picked up a simple folded paper from the enveloped, looking slightly embarrassed. He started to read out loud.
"Lupin, I certainly hope you have not managed to get yourself killed. If you are reading this, however, I most probably have snuffed it, but hear me out before joining the victory celebrations. I want you to eat my heart."
"Whaaat?" the whole group seemed to shriek as one. Lupin shuddered but continued to read, somewhat reluctantly this time.
"The look on your face must be priceless; it is most regretful I am not there to see it. Nevertheless, you undoubtedly found the vial on my corpse, unless you have managed to break it, regardless of the three anti-breakage charms I put on it. Do not open the vial. At least not yet, read the instructions through first. Now, I need you to crack my chest open and find my heart. Yes, contrary to popular belief, I do indeed possess the aforementioned organ. Take a hearty bite out of it and chew it thoroughly. Then spit it into the vial, put the stopper back on and shake it."
Lupin stopped to look at Snape's corpse. He was looking positively nauseous.
"Go on, Remus. I want to know where all of this is leading," Harry said. The others were nodding their heads. Lupin took a deep breath and continued reading.
"Now all you need to do is drink the potion. Mind you, drink all of it and in as few sips as you can. Then you will have five minutes in which to wonder whether this is my idea of sick revenge before you will be convinced I poisoned you. I have never actually tested this potion on anyone, but the theory shows that your next few moments will be…quite painful. However, the pain will be worth it in the end, I think. You will not see the results straight away. In fact, I believe you will fall asleep after the pain has passed. Even then, it will be some time before you realise what the potion does. I am not telling you: consider it my final revenge if you like, or the ultimate show of trust. I hope that if I am dead I have fulfilled my plan and it is plain even for the thickest Gryffindor where my loyalties truly lie. Now it is up to you whether you trust me or let this once-in-a-lifetime potion go to waste.
"This is probably the last thing I will ever write. The Dark Lord informed us of his attack on Hogwarts yesterday and you have hopefully received my owl by now. In any case, goodbye, good luck and all that."
Lupin stopped reading. He felt numb. He had a good idea what the mysterious potion would do and he couldn't believe Snape would do that for him. He almost didn't dare to hope it was true. He looked at the paper and saw a small scribble at the end he had overlooked earlier. Somehow, it didn't feel right to read it aloud so he didn't tell anyone else about it.
"This is it, the Dark Lord is calling us now. I won't survive this confrontation and I ask you: after getting the final ingredient to the potion, could you burn my body? I don't want either side defiling it. Stupid, I know, but I'd like my ashes scattered to the winds. At least they will get a taste of what freedom is like. Ah, time's up and I suddenly find myself reluctant to go. Ironic, eh?"
The question mark at the end was a bit wonky, a concrete testament to the fact that Snape had, indeed, written the letter only mere seconds before attending the battle. Lupin could feel tears forming in his eyes. Snape had always presented such a hard cover to the world that it was easy to forget he was a man with feelings. Lupin looked at the body lying at his feet. Of course he had been afraid to die.
"Goodbye and thank you," Lupin whispered to the slightly maimed corpse. Tears were freely running down his face now.
"Remus? You okay?" Harry asked when he noticed Lupin's tears.
"Yeah, it's just…you do realise what that potion probably does?" Lupin said, wiping his eyes. Harry nodded and offered the older man a tissue.
"Yeah, it's really hard to believe. But hey, you might soon be free, eh?" Harry said, trying to cheer up himself and the older man. Lupin smiled at Harry's efforts but kept thinking about Snape's final words. Freedom. The word seemed somehow inadequate to convey all the meaning and emotions behind it. He might be finally getting it, after years and years of living in the shadow of the beast. And yet, he felt so guilty about it, since Snape had also been living in the shadow of a different beast for nearly as long but he would get no release in this life. Maybe it would be better for him in wherever it was that he now went.
"Thank you, Severus," Lupin whispered once more. "Your sacrifice will be remembered and honored."
After that, he followed Snape's instructions and finished the potion.
AN: I know, this has been done a million times before but I just had to get it off my chest ;) Anyway, English is not my first language so I would really appreciate your comments on my grammar, especially if you find huge mistakes. So click that nice review button, even if it's just to tell me how much I suck ;)