A/N: grins I got my first flame! And it was literate too! Weird thing to be excited about, but angry reviewer has 1. Given me my first flame! 2. Given me valuable feedback, though it had to be gleaned from fire and ashes, and 3. Made me realise that some things I have said do not come across as I mean them. Of course, all I meant by my previous comment was that I'm considering dropping the story, so don't get attached, as I have other engagements, and updates will be slower than dial-up, as ideas are running dry. I apologise if it seemed like I was holding anyone for ransom in order to gain reviews – that was not my intention. I just wanted to know if anyone was interested, 'cause while I'm enjoying writing, it's becoming a challenge.
What's odd, is that I was flamed for my Author's Note. So basically said flamer hated me rather than my story. Which is fine, but kinda weird, seeing as though I've never met them, or talked directly to them. Ah, well. If Johnny Howard can handle, so can I!
Now, on with the fic!
Three dead marines found in a forest to the west. His team was given the case.
Gibbs growled. It wasn't like he didn't have enough to handle. Despite popular opinion and numerous office polls, he wasn't Superman. 'All hands on deck' was the call given. Everyone in his team had to be working this one case.
Everyone.
Work would go twice as slow, he just knew it.
It was raining.
Not a very acute observation, but an observation nonetheless. And Gibbs had said 'observe'. He hadn't specified in what manner.
Tony sighed, slouching in the back seat of Gibbs' car. Everyone was out doing something except him. So what if he blanks out every once in a while? He can still work a scene! Ah, well. At least he didn't have Palmer's job.
You think pulling your foot out of mud is tough? Try pulling three bodies.
Tony shifted left. Right. Cross legs. Uncross. Look out left window. Look out right window. Roll down window and inform Kate that it is an opportune moment for mud wrestling. Dodge mud. Clean shoes.
You do not stick a Tony into a car without amusement. Just… no. It's one of the basic rules of life. You want to live? Give him air, a nice ball, perhaps, a meadow to frolic in. A nice juicy bone. But not this. This is inhumane.
He sighed. At least it was mostly back to normal. It was all like it was before, the joking around, stupid, sexist remarks. There was even a paperclip fight last week.
Gibbs, however…
He acted like Tony was dead weight, and he couldn't wait to get rid of him. The monosyllables, the gruff brush-offs. Tony missed his head-slaps. He needed to feel the harsh, rough hands of Gibbs rattle his brain in his skull again. Not in a macho sort of way. It was because when Gibbs hit him, he was correcting him. And when people bother to correct you – they care.
He cared, right?
Of course he did. You can't train a guy for this long and not care. You can't care for all this time and just stop. But… it's Gibbs. Superman. The man of steel. He can do anything. Anything. Maybe even…
Tony frowned, turning to stare out the left window. Why'd he come along, anyway? He could do more at the office. Help Abby, or at least keep her company. Well, he could do that here.
Picking up his mobile, he started poking the little buttons, trying to recall the magical code that made the thing work, until he remembered he had her number in his address book.
"Oh, yeah, because I got a new 'phone, and I had to use the… Shut up, Dinozzo."
Hearing those words out loud made him feel a little better. But he drew the line at a self-inflicted head-slap.
"Hello sir, we have several gorgeous blondes just dying to talk to you – "
"Uh… I'm sorry, I think I have the wrong number."
Oh, Abby was so going to pay.
"Hello, NCIS Forensics Lab, Abby – "
"ABBY!"
"Tony! Hi!"
"Abby, what was the big idea?"
Abby grinned, twirling her pigtails and slurping her Caff-Pow as she listened to an infuriated Italian ranting on the other end.
"I have never been more mortified in my entire life! The woman wouldn't let me hang up!"
"Why did you? I thought blondes were your thing."
"But I wanted to talk to you!"
"Aw, that's sweet. How did you get this number, anyway?"
"I vaguely remembered it."
"Vaguely?"
"I may have made a few calls to Australia in the process."
"Well, at least you're making new friends."
"Not funny, Abs."
Abby giggled, twirling in her chair. Any amusement while the team was out was welcome. And this was by far the best amusement she had had in a while.
"I think it is."
"You would. What if it had been an emergency? What it – for some odd, unexplainable reason, we needed to contact you right away, and my mobile was the only one that…"
A pause. Abby frowned. Another seizure?
"Tony?"
"Hold that thought, Abs. I think I saw something. I'll call you – "
"HANDS UP! GET OUT OF THE CAR!"
"TONY! Tony, what's going on?"
"Alright, I'm getting out. I'm unarmed."
"You'd better be. Come on!"
"TONY!"
Tony quietly cursed under his breath in all the languages he could speak (four, if you included gibberish). It was just his luck. The mud had been too thick to park close to the scene, and the car was half hidden by shrubs. They'd have finished up with the scene and pulled the bodies out by the time they noticed he was gone.
His kidnapper hadn't brought him far from the car. He wagered that if he made enough noise, Gibbs' super-hearing could pick it up over the rain. So. You're in a muddy forest, defenceless, with one known attacker wielding a gun. Now… what in that situation could be used to make a very big noise?
"YOU GOING TO SHOOT ME?"
Great. Just great.
"Keep your voice down."
"I'M SORRY MISS, I'M A BIT HARD OF HEARING, PARTICULARLY WHEN IT RAINS. WHY'D YOU THINK THEY LEFT ME IN THE CAR?"
Alright, not the best of plans. But it was the only one he had. Tony bit his lip and continued, thankful that he had listened to at least a few of Ducky's rambling stories.
"IT DOESN'T AFFECT MY WORK, THOUGH. I CAN WORK ALL DAY AND NOT HEAR A THING – MAKES PEOPLE THINK I HAVE WONDERFUL CONCENTRATION."
"Shut up!"
"I'M SORRY, WHAT WAS THAT?"
The woman pointed her gun at Tony's head. "Speak again, I shoot."
As much as Tony wished to be found, he did not want to play with those odds. He nodded, silently.
"Good. Now, what is going to happen, is we are going to get into that car, and you are going to drive me where I direct you. If you do not comply, I will shoot you. If you try to escape, I will shoot you. If you make a wrong turn, I will shoot you. Alright?"
Wow, talk about a strict driving instructor.
They made their way silently back towards the car, Tony listening carefully to the woman behind him. He knew she would have trouble walking through the mud – that was what he was pinning his hopes on.
Sure enough, as they reached the car, he heard a curse, and a satisfying squelch.
Alright. Mud wrestling time.
Mud wrestling, he discovered, isn't as much fun when your opponent is nowhere near naked, and actually does want to kill you. Plus, she was freakishly strong. It made him feel sadly emasculated. But that was an issue to be tackled in therapy later. Right now, he needed to get the gun from her.
They rolled over each other, punching and kicking furiously, down an embankment, through some bushes – straight into the crime scene.
'Oh… bugger.'
Well, now he knew that either way he was going to die.
"NCIS! Freeze!"
The woman kneeled in the mud, and pulled Tony to her, gun pressed to his temple.
"I'll kill him."
"Go ahead."
'Ouch.'
Kate, McGee and Gibbs stood in a semi-circle around them, Ducky and Palmer having scampered off to hide. They had just been discussing which way each one would go in search of Tony after McGee received a call from Abby – he had gone missing, a quick check of the car confirming that. Each of the agents aimed their weapons carefully. It seemed they hadn't needed to go searching. Gibbs watched the woman closely, looking for any opening. She seemed well trained – he'd have to be careful.
"Is he not one of yours?"
"No," lied Kate smoothly. "A petty crim we caught on the way here. Entering a gay bar naked."
Tony glared at her. If he died, she would be so sorry.
"Alright then."
He knew she'd pull the trigger. He could tell from his brief conversation with her before – she wasn't one to make idle threats. And if she was going down, someone – anyone – had to go down with her.
Even if it was an exhibitionist from a gay bar.
He jammed his elbow into her stomach as hard as he could, and he shot went wild, off into the tree-tops. A punch to her face, grab and twist her arm, and he had the gun.
"NO!" she snarled, lunging for him. She wouldn't go to jail. For her, it was either freedom on earth, or freedom in heaven. Or hell.
Three shots rang out.
Her body fell to the ground.
Tony just stared, through a thick mud mask, as if he had never used a gun before.
"Tony? Are you alright?"
The team holstered their weapons, Kate pulling Tony up while McGee called Abby to assure her that Tony was fine, and that they had found him – or he had found them – in time. Gibbs just stood and watched Tony, in quiet reflection.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Never thought I'd do that, though."
"What?"
"Participate in mud wrestling instead of just watch it."
"Pig."
"Hey, I got the suspect, didn't I?"
Gibbs frowned. Dinozzo did an alright job, he'd give him that. Maybe he did intend to stay.
"I'll bet that once I brush up on my hand-to-hand combat skills, I can keep up with you. Plus, I'll have a body to die for."
"You do realise how gay that sounded?"
"What's wrong with that? Are you being prejudice?"
He was staying. And he had plans to work even harder. Maybe Gibbs had been too hard on him. Maybe – maybe it wasn't an excuse. Maybe… he was wrong. He was wrong. The doctors were right. His team was right.
He didn't waste time feeling guilty. He had an opinion, and if that opinion turned out to be wrong, so what? At least he had one. Guilt didn't fix anything. Action did.
Gibbs strode past the bickering agents, somehow managing to look dignified whilst covered in mud.
And head slapped Dinozzo.
END
A/N: YAY! balloons, streamers, and party cake come out of no-where It's done! My first chapter story! And that, my friends, is why I never do chapter stories. I end up torturing you poor readers by never updating. So this shall be my first and last chapter story. From now on, it's one-shots. I hope you're not disappointed with the end – I know I should have put more focus on Gibbs, but I think it turned out alright. I couldn't do that without slowing the story down, see? Oh, and just to cover all my bases - I have nothing against gays or nudists. Gay people have a right to choose, and nudists, I believe, are extremely open-minded to let us walk around in odd, artificial skin, and appreciating thatsome others mayfeel uncomfortable watching them walk around without artificial skin. Have I said too much? Sorry. Anyway, thank you for reading! Thank you all! I'll miss this story, and I'll miss you! Bye!