Top Girls: Four!

The studio was a rebuilt hangar on the edge of Tokyo-3, now jammed full of excited people. Several monitors were on the walls, currently displaying animated versions of the Top Gear logo. Around the studio were cars bought by the team and abused in several challenges, including the wreckage of a Tesla they had pretty much destruction tested.

"Welcome, everyone!" Misato waved cheerfully in her usual tight top and mid-thigh skirt, "Welcome to Top Gear!"

There was a cheer from the crowd and Misato grinned even as the camera puled back to reveal the somewhat more serious looking Ritsuko and the smiling Maya. "We have a," Maya paused, "a very interesting challenge for you today."

"Possibly insanely dangerous too," Ritsuko noted dryly.

"Spoil sport," Misato teased.

"We'll also be test driving the new Tesla, the latest in a long line of dubious electric cars," Maya said with a impish smile. "Supposedly, it's the Tesla's attempt to create a supercar."

"But despite the wide spread use of electric cars, we feel they are still rubbish," Ritsuko said. "Now, I would like to be the one testing it, as we all know I would do it properly, but..."

"I got the keys first," Misato grinned as she jingled the key chain and the crowd laughed.

They cut to the track, a specially cleared section of Tokyo-3 roads. The new Tesla Venture had a traditional supercar look, low to the road and with moderate sized headlights. It was a long car, with a almost ovoid look, and it cut through the air smoothly.

"The Venture is the latest attempt at building a supercar using batteries, but it doesn't really FEEL like a supercar," Misato noted as they raced along the street. "There's no engine noise, which takes something away from the experience," she said.

The car raced along, barely humming despite the speed they were managing. She whipped it through a turn, and while the tires squealed, the engine barely blipped. "See?" she gestured, "A supercar should shout! It WANTS to be loud and obnoxious!"

"I will concede that they've managed to give it a fair turn of power," Misato noted as she drove, "zero to sixty in three seconds, and a top speed of two hundred. But while they've improved the batteries, they are STILL heavy as hell."

In a demonstration, Misato accelerated down a straightaway, then went into a tight corner. The back wheels skidded and the car wobbled, the beast nearly spinning out before she could wrestle it back under control.

"As you can see, it suffers from bad under steer, and you have to mentally figure in a LOT of extra room to manoeuvre," Misato said grimly. "On the plus side, they HAVE fixed the charging issues that earlier Teslas had," she said, "if you charge it up overnight, it'll run approximately 500 miles."

Taking the Tesla through another turn she added, "However, you have to let the Tesla finish it's charge cycle before unplugging from the outlet, which can be a pain. If you unplug it early, it will read fully charged, but battery power can die on you unpredictably."

Parking the car Misato got out, casually leaning against the car. "For a car of it's type it has a few other bonuses," she pointed out, "due to the tiny electric motor there's room for a good sized trunk and back seat, as well as all the usual bells and whistles for electronics." Amused, she added, "Sadly if you use them too much, you kill the battery life."

They cut back to the studio, where Ritsuko and Maya were looking over the Venture, Misato standing nearby in the middle of the watching crowd. "You know," Maya admitted, "it isn't even that attractive of a car."

"Well, it's not bad," Ritsuko said thoughtfully. She looked over at Misato and asked, "So, overall what would you say?"

"It's a good try," Misato said honestly, "but they haven't got a system yet that will ape what a supercar can do. They especially need to fix the one ton block in the middle that the batteries sit in. It handles like a boat."

Maya bit back a laugh. "It's not THAT bad, is it?" she asked.

"In the turns, yes," Misato shrugged. "But for a true test of it's mettle, we must turn it over to our tame race driver."

Ritsuko stepped forward, "Some say she is banned from the United States due to a incident involving a water buffalo." She paused to let the crowd chuckle, "And some say the Vice President is afraid of her blank helmet. All we know is, she's called the Stig!"

Out on the track, the Tesla Venture waited on the start line. The jumpsuit clad Stig, in dark visored helmet, flexed fingers on the wheel them roared off. The car barrelled down the straightaway, then into a turn, screeching tires.

"The Stig is off!" Maya narrated excitedly, "We've been waiting to see how high it would go on the leader boards! Wait, what's happening?"

The Venture slowed, then came to a stop. The Stig could be seen fiddling with controls. Finally the door opened, the Stig got out, and then calmly walked away.

They cut back to the the hangar set, where the hosts all looked kind of sheepish. "I guess the car wasn't fully charged?" Ritsuko suggested.

"Tesla is going to scream bloody murder," Misato predicted bleakly.

Maya decided it was best just to forge on. "As quickly as we can, we'll get the Stig into a replacement car," she said quickly, "and now, we'll do the challenge!"

"Right," Ritsuko recovered, leading the camera towards a map of a city, and was followed by Maya and Misato. "Today's challenge is going to be very interesting," she said briskly.

"Or possibly suicidal," Maya noted.

Misato ignored that as she said, "Our producers gave each of us a ridiculously low amount to purchase three used cars. Our only restriction was that they could not be designed for off road or have four wheel drive."

"Watch the monitors, this is going to be interesting," Misato said with a grin.

The scene cut to a damaged car park at the edge of old Tokyo, with a access road hooking into the more recent road systems. A older model BMW pulled up, the black car stopping with a slight jerk. Misato got out, smiling smugly.

"What I got was a 1999 BMW model," Misato said, "good engine. With turbo I might add." She patted the hood, "Not the prettiest car, I will concede, but durable, which I expect we'll need."

As a car was pulling in Misato turned, then blinked. "Is that... damn. That's a Porsche! With Ritsuko behind the wheel."

Ritsuko pulled up in the lot, smiling smugly as she got out of the sleek sportscar. "Hello, Misato. Nice car. Did you buy it from a concrete salesman?" she mocked.

"How the hell did you afford a Porsche?" Misato asked indignantly.

"It was rebuilt after a accident," Ritsuko conceded as she gestured to the red sports car, "but I had it inspected before I bought it."

"You'd better hope you got lucky," Misato shook her head, "you have no idea what kind of hidden flaws are in a rebuilt car."

Before they could continue arguing, they heard a cheery horn honk. Both turned, then froze as the little car rolled up. "You have got to be kidding me," Ritsuko blinked.

"It's a Beetle!" Misato yelped.

"Hello," Maya smiled at them gamely as she got out of the replica Volkswagon Beetle, done in lemon yellow.

"Why a Beetle?" Ritsuko had to ask.

"Because they are the go-everywhere vehicle," Maya shrugged, "it's small, agile and can be fixed with duct tape."

"And it's just your size," Misato teased.

Maya pouted. "Unlike yours..." she started then blinked at Ritsuko's flashy car as she asked, "You got a Porsche?"

"Used, yes," Ritsuko rolled her eyes.

Before they could tease each other any more, a figure in a lab coat appeared. Briskly he walked over to Misato and passed her the envelope. "Here you go," Gendo smiled, then hurried off.

"It always worries me when they smile like that," Maya noted nervously, then saw the look on Misato's face. "Bad?" she asked.

"Yes," Misato said, scanning the page.

"Very bad?" Ritsuko asked. "Bad as the Channel crossing?" she asked.

"Not THAT bad, thank goodness," Misato passed the paper to Ritsuko.

Ritsuko looked it over, "Okay, course through Tokyo, various challenges..." She stopped. "We're running through the flooded sections too?!" she asked indignantly.

Maya snatched the paper and read it, then looked at her Beetle. "My car won't DO that!" she complained.

"Well, looks like we're going to have to try," Misato decided. "Everybody mount up, we're going," she ordered.

"Right," Ritsuko sighed as she hurried to her car, Maya following even as Misato got behind the wheel. Within moments all three cars were going, two engines making throaty growls while the Beetle just chuffed softly, then they set out.

To be continued...

Notes: The Tesla electric car is a 'homage' more or less to something that happened in the original show. They tested the car, it worked okay, then the batteries died. The company that produced the car was understandably pissed and complained that Top Gear had rigged it to fail.

So, I'm bumping Top Gear back in time, if readers haven't noticed. Tho honestly Evangelion's timeline hasn't synched up with the real world for years anyway... so just roll with it. Heh.