Disclaimer: Yugi-Oh GX does not belong to me neither its characters or rights over the story.
Warn: This story may have heavy and uncomfortable themes/situations like use of drugs, violence, abuse, sexual harassment, rape, depression, trauma and bad language. If you do not like such, Do not read this.
presea221: Hm, the psychologist is really shady XD the connections will be explained, but we will see how much Ryo will find out and how he will react to it, but he is in for a bigger plot he is imagining.
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Chapter 5: Doubtful
The lecture is monotonous, even after the bell rings, she finishes scribbling some things the teachers said in a sheet of paper, her hand moves on its own, she is not paying attention to it, she can't. Her awareness is raised when she listens to that same group of girls gossiping about her again.
"Shouldn't we have her pay you for the damage? She pushed you away..."
"I know right? That girl has some screw loose."
"What is she even writing anyways? I thought she got dumb, does she even know how to write or talk?"
"Yeah, I heard she had to do tests to even come back to the obelisk dorm, but why would she even be allowed to be with us? It's disgustingly unfair."
Upon hearing those poorly intentioned words, she grabs all her things and quickly goes out of the classroom, biting her lips. The wounds on it open again and bleed, while thinking back on the words of her psychologist, she almost stumbles into someone.
They back off at the last second, avoiding collision, and startled, she does the same. She is even more surprised after seeing the familiar face, Kaiser Ryo in person. He blinks in astonishment seeing a small bleeding on her lips, a grave frown forming on his face as he questions:
"Did someone hurt you?"
She abashedly wipes out the blood with her hands and gestures frantically in denial, bowing in a rush, she walks past him without affording another glance.
"Wa...it..."
It is useless. He watches her disappear in the corridors. She is so fast to run away, but why is she still avoiding him? He thought she'd tell him what happened this time. A voice irrupts his thoughts:
"She looks like she is always in a hurry, that girl. She even left before you said anything."
"Asuka…"
"I came to greet you and I also got what you asked me." she reports, handling him a small notebook with a girly pink design and a pencil wrapped around the cover. "Though, I would be lying if I said I'm not curious to know why you need something like this."a drop of sweat delineates her jaw line.
He takes it and stares at the object for a moment, in deep thought. She also ponders, connecting the pieces, with a rather inquisitive expression and a faint smile.
"Are you gifting it to that girl?"
His gaze switches immediately to her, and she chuckles at the reaction, he couldn't have been more obvious.
"I've heard rumors a girl confessed to you and was rejected, I disregarded them, but is it possible there was some truth to it?"
"Preposterous." he vents out in a slightly annoyed voice.
"I thought so, our Kaiser would not play with the heart of a maiden after all. You wouldn't be gifting her if you were not willing to accept her feelings, right?"
"That is not it either..." his voice comes out in an abashed tone, sweating in some amusement for theory. "I am focused on my dueling career."
"If you wanted to give it to her, you could also have chosen something, you know? I'm sure she'd have accepted it with joy regardless if it's pretty or not." she seems even more confused.
"This is not it at all." he strengthens the grip he has on the notebook "This is about..."
He hesitates on saying the words, but the blonde friend assumes the words that would fit the most. Jokes aside, she can feel a heavy mood installing.
"Is it still regarding what happened some weeks ago? That night I didn't go to the lighthouse…?"
He sighs profoundly and the inexpressiveness is back to his semblance while he looks at the girl whose brows curl worriedly in front of him.
"Yes."
He'd like to say he might have a clue of what happened to Fubuki finally, but he holds the words back. He must confirm it first, whether it is true or just an unrelated situation. Seeing there are other people around, he invites her over to a quieter place, as they walk to the lighthouse in plain daylight, she wonders what is bothering him:
"Hm… May I ask what happened that day?" Her reluctance demonstrates she doesn't mean to pry.
They stop in front of the vast sea ahead, the sound of the waves hitting the rocks around is calming, yet there is this sensation of tension in the air.
"Have you ever thought of taking away your own life…? After Fubuki, I mean..."
"No!" the question is so shocking she replies almost in a second, eyes wide open "I never… No, that is not what my brother would want, and if there is any chance he is somewhere out there, I will search for him until I find him. I would never do that..." she seems somewhat saddened.
"What if… You did? If you tried to do it and someone like me stopped you in your attempt, would you hate me?"
"What? No, I wouldn't… I would not hate you for that, if that was the case, I would try to keep living on, knowing someone at least cared about me to prevent me from disappearing forever from the world…" Those questions were so unexpected. "Why are you asking such things?"
"I am sorry. I didn't mean to make you so uncomfortable." his glance lands on the notebook again "But I thought a lot about all this and I can't come up with a definite answer..." he sighs in dismay, staring at the ocean.
For him to be like this it must have been a very wild situation. In all their time together, she rarely saw him expressing such emotions so openly as concern over someone else than her, her brother, and even with Shou his emotions were rather bland. Why was he asking that when all she asked him was about what happened weeks ago? Then sudden realization enlightens her mind.
"Ryo… Don't tell me, that girl..."
He just glances at her for a second and his eyes are led to the horizon forward, there is still much to be considered. Putting a hand to her chest, she questions why a girl from the obelisk dorm would be like that. She should be brilliant to be even at that dorm, still...
"She can't speak."
"Then those rumors… About the student that came back to classes after many months of absence and became unable to speak, were they… About her?"
"Yes. I thought that at least this should work." he looks at the notebook.
"Even if she might come to hate me for mindlessly opening her wounds like this for the sake of my own wishes..." he keeps this line to himself, on the back of his mind.
"I-I see… This might be a good idea to give her time to talk… But… Why do you want to know what happened to her? Is it because… Of that night?" he can see her fists clenching softly with a side glance. "Did something awful..."
"I don't know…" he lies fully aware and in good conscience "It is not in my place to say. But I think it's for the best if she has the means to speak without sound words."
"Ryo..."
He smiles faintly to soothe her concern, she nods firmly and smiles back with a half worried expression, leaving the place to think alone. He also sets off, this time with the intention of finding Rie on his own, he didn't expect he'd find her so soon.
From the top of the cliff he can see her again, this time under the sunlight. He gasps with the sight that fills him with uneasiness. Without a second thought he dashes up to the cliff.
His steps halt so abruptly his feet slide making a small cloud of dust, startling the girl, even more when he asks with an intense, grave voice:
"Don't jump!"
She looks at his scowl that seems to be rooted in anxiety rather than anger and looks back at the cliff, then as if she understands his actions she gestures aplenty, shaking her head and steps away from the cliff.
"Why are you here?"
She opens her mouth gathering air, he could swear she just tried to talk, but then her lips close shut without making a sound and she averts her gaze.
"Did you forget about what we discussed back then…?"
She denies it with her head, still having her gaze low. His expression relaxes and softens, approaching her and stretching his hand with the notebook.
"This is a fortunate timing. I wanted to give you this."
She takes a peek at what his hand holds, and stares at her face before taking it, still looking at him as if she was waiting for his approval.
"I said I wanted to hear your story in detail, but I am aware you are not able to speak currently, still you should still be able to write it down and tell me, right?"
She gazes at the object for a long minute, stunned with it and his actions. Her brows come closer, in a sorrowful gaze, her eyes flicker so wildly and tears swell up on her orbs, falling down. He flinches, why is she crying now? Did he say something rude or wrong?
"You can take your time…" he is unsure of what to say, internally wondering if this is making her situation worse "But I would like to know whether you are willing to tell me everything… I'll be waiting for your answer..."
She wipes her tears and nods firmly, bowing a bit before him, much to his surprise. Noticing how he stands there in some sort of tension, she opens the notebook, quickly writing something and showing it to him with a conflicted expression:
"I need to think about it, how to best describe all that happened. Can you give me some time?"
He can't hide his amusement in seeing her so openly talking through the notes, was the right approach to it all she really needed to talk? He agrees and leaves, casting a last glance back. He can see her back, she just stares at the horizon, her hair flowing with the wind.
He can't see her expression, but he can guess she is not happy. Will he find out any clue about Fubuki by asking her? Or is her case completely unrelated and he is simply poking fresh wounds?
She casts a glance back, discreetly, he is out of sight. With a worried expression, she looks at the notebook, holding it with both hands, then she frees one hand and takes her medicine out of her skirt's pocket. The bottle pills prescribed.
His words are still in her mind. Can she really tell him the truth without being distrusted? Or mocked? Will he believe her? Even with all those doubts, after having that tiny bit of kindness, having someone stretch a hand out to her, she couldn't let it go and forget it. She had already forgotten about how it feels to be treated normally by someone else.
Her eyes oscillate with tears falling down. Her hands tremble while holding those medicines. If she takes it, her memory will be all confused again and she will have those horrible nightmares. She won't be able to think properly or feel like herself.
Enough of that! In a spur of emotions, she throws the pills into the ocean and watches as it disappears among the waves, sinking down, her eyes filled with aversion.
"I will not… Hide from the darkness anymore, I will face it myself..."
With the determined thought embracing her heart, she turns around, getting away from that place leaving behind her tears and the part of her that is so afraid of facing the truth. Time to get rid of the ghosts in her life.
Some time after
The pink hair flows as she walks through the corridor, some boys cast a glance blushing with the sight and some girls look annoyed.
"Who is that?"
"Isn't she a student that came a while ago?"
"Eh? That is not possible, wasn't she a weirdo? She looks normal now."
She passes by, ignoring the comments about her and goes to the annex building, her appearance is more neat than before. She doesn't have the bags under her eyes or the gloom shade cast over her blue orbs. Ryo casts a brief glance too, but concentrates on his own way towards the classrooms.
"She looks a lot better than before, but… It's been over a week and I haven't heard from her again. I suppose writing everything down would take some time… I shouldn't be impatient."
In the psychologist's office, she takes her usual seat and looks at the man. He seems struck with admiration, adjusting his glasses.
"Kinomoto-san. How are you feeling today?" he pushes the device close to her again, with a smile.
"Better."
"I can see that in your expression. Are you taking your medicines properly as advised?"
"Yes." she quickly types, dismissing the question.
"Hm…" his lips twitch for a moment, but it turns into a larger smile as he announces "I have good news for you!" he chuckles to lighten the mood "This…" he presents to her a student PDA "You can take it with you. I know yours broke, but I have made an order for a new personalized one since you started frequenting classes again"
Her eyes open wide in surprise and her lips move a bit, but she doesn't say a word. Her expression engenders another chuckle on the man.
"After a lot of work, your personal device is finally ready and it arrived on the island just this morning. With this, you can lead a more normal lifestyle and communicate with people."
Taking it with both hands, her eyes flicker and melt into a conflicted expression that hinted at some fondness towards his actions.
"Aren't you happy? Well, you can play with it as much as you want later, for now, we shall go on about our objective here, right?"
His voice startles her, bringing her back to the matters she came here for, she nods in agreement and they continue.
A few days pass
Among classes and other duties, he has been too busy to entertain the idea of searching more thoroughly for info on the abandoned dorm. Besides the rumors, he has nothing else to go by.
His thoughts disperse, but as soon as he steps outside the classroom, his senses come back, blinking in confusion, he looks at the side. Kinomoto is resting her back on the wall, she flinches upon his sight and adjusts her posture.
"Kinomoto..." his eyes land on her hand she holds the notebook, does that mean she finally wants to talk? "I understand. Let's go somewhere else."
She nods and follows behind him. They arrive at one of the outer walls of the academy main building, there are some woods on the horizon and no one else in sight, it is a good spot to have a reserved conversation.
She hands the notebook to him, he is about to open, but she interrupts by placing a hand on the cover, calling his attention. She takes some device from her pocket and types.
"Before you read..."
"You can talk like this now…?" He seems slightly surprised. "Do you not want me to read it yet? Why?"
"Can you promise me you won't be angry at me when you read it?"
"Angry? Why would I…?"
He is even more astounded, but seeing her blue orbs so filled with expectation, he answers calmly, unsure of how to even say it:
"Yes. I won't be angry at you."
"Also… Do you believe in shadow duels…?"
"Shadow duels? You mean like the ones people believe happened during the legendary city tournament?"
She nods, her eyes waver worriedly awaiting an answer from him. Why does she feel such uneasiness when questioning him? Isn't she taking those rumors too seriously, maybe?
"I am not one to easily believe things like this. But I will give the benefit of the doubt if something like that ever happens with me or with people I know."
She sighs in slight relief, but her brows curl forming wrinkles on her forehead. Then she turns around, he wonders why she is going away so easily. Does she still feel uncomfortable being around him?
"Where are you going?"
She glances at him confused, and types some words, her brows furrowing upwards in some sort of concern.
"If people see us together, they will spread bad rumors again, this might harm your reputation."
"My reputation?" He is amused with those words, but the seriousness on his face aggravates "I don't care about any rumors, it's not like those people know us, besides, I will tell them off if they say anything strange about you... If that worries you."
Her eyes oscillate in sadness for a moment, she types reluctantly and shows the display of the screen.
"Why are you being so kind to me?"
"Why? Does anyone need a reason to be kind…?" he is genuinely stunned with the question.
Pondering about it, he remembers how others would treat her and how straining it must have been to go through a lot of mentally deterring situations.
"Though, if you really want a reason: I am yet to hear from you what happened, and after I read this, I will probably have questions to ask, so I'd like to be on good terms. I don't mind if you really want to go, but I'd like to read it as soon as possible and find out the truth."
"I see… If you don't mind… It's not like I'd make noise anyways…"
This girl… What has she been thinking this whole time? Just how low opinion of herself did she have? Who did that to her? Just considering those doubts made his blood boil with indignancy underneath his skin.
"I don't mind."
She averts her gaze for a moment and sits on the grass ground, embracing her knees, he casts a sorrowed gaze at her, somehow her silhouette looks lonely. Changing the focus of his mind, he rests his back on the wall and opens the notebook.
First, he skims fast through the pages, there are quite a few, but since they are small, it's not as much as he'd expect. Her handwriting is more polished here than on the notes she showed him before. It is pretty, but some parts are rougher as if she paused many times while trying to write.
The lines he reads tell a story like in a book, a somber tone to the words, he can see some words were erased and some pages have watermarks. Was she crying even as she wrote it all?
Last year, shortly after Fubuki's disappearance…
A brown haired girl in an obelisk uniform holds the lantern illuminating the way ahead, her long strands of hair flow on the wind when she turns her head back calling her friends:
"It's here!"
"Oh, this is spookier than I thought."
Another girl, with medium black hair and a Ra yellow uniform shivers. Tapping on her shoulder, a boy with short brown hair and an uniform of the same color:
"It's okay, no ghost would be interested in someone as bland as you! They'd certainly want pretty girls like Rie or Ayame." Rie and Ayame chuckle.
"Don't be mean to your girlfriend, Sousuke. You're just jealous that the ghost will take her away from you, isn't it right, Rie?"
The pink haired chuckle again, but the sound of leaves rustling scares her and she flinches, shivering. The leader of the group comes back with the lantern and putting an arm around her shoulders, she jokes:
"Come on, Rie, don't be so afraid."
"But..." her voice is softer than her friend's and calmer. "Aya, the dorms… It's where..."
"Sheesh, isn't the reason we are going there to find out what happened to Fujiwara and the others? He was studying there when… Forget it, let's go before someone finds out."
She hurries with a fast paced stomping to the front of the group. The darkness and dust floating in the air give an old vibe to the building. She pushes the door open with a creak, then suddenly a shadow passes by. Everyone jolts back.
"Di-did you see that?!" the yellow Ra girl clings to the boy and he clings to her.
"I-I saw it too! Ayame, she is right! There was something just now..."
"You all are a bunch of scared kittens, you know? Do I have to do everything? Ah!" she rolls her eyes.
"Aya, this place has an oppressive feeling to it." her blue eyes scan around in uneasiness, the somber aura of the place seems to invade her thoughts, sending her heartbeat's rhythm in disarray.
"Of course it has! Many students disappeared right here. There has to be something, maybe that was one of the said students, we will never know if we stand around!"
She rushes ahead, they follow after her, that shadow passes by again, it guides them to the lower parts of the dorms, to the basement where the strange seal is engraved on the ground.
As soon as they arrive, they see a shadow in the shape of a human, its aura spreads around like flames, deforming its humanoid shape, their red eyes are maddened.
"W-what is that?"
Its smirk grows and out of nowhere shadows engulf the space around, making a half dark sphere around the students. They are terrified. The Ra yellow boy punches the dark matter, but his hand is bounced back and electrified.
"Argh!"
"Sou-kun!" his girlfriend supports his body.
"What is this…?" Ayame looks around, the dark covered room compels them to stay.
"This is a realm in which we all can be together."
"Your creep, let us out!"
"You want to leave? I can do that, but to leave, you must win. Let's have fun in a duel!"
The distorted voice shouts, their duel disks react, activating on their own. Their hearts are filled with panic as the shadow draws cards from a disk materialized from dark matter.
"What is happening?! Who are you? We never agreed to..."
"I am an emissary of darkness! Duel or your souls will be imprisoned here forever… But since you are friends, how about you share your pain too? You'll feel like you are one."
The word "souls" more than raised their awareness. Sousuke draws the first card, his hands tremble. Rie and the other girls are also in shock. His starting hand is awful, he draws no monsters in the first turn, and the enemy attacks directly.
The pain of the damage spreads through them, it hurts so much, as if he was pierced in real life by the blade of the monsters. All of them share the pain. Rie falls to her knees, touching her heart.
From then on, the story becomes unclear to Rie's eyes. The duel proceeds, but the more they try, the more life points they lose, when Sousuke loses fully, his eyes become empty and muddy dark hands come from the ground, dragging him down.
His girlfriend tries to get him back, but she too is taken. Ayame is the last standing, dueling the shadow. Rie can feel her fear just by looking at her back. She gulps. Her friend looks back at her with a bitter smile.
"Rie, I'm sorry..."
By using a trap card, she inflicts damage on both her and the enemy, but faints from the pain, the terror that fills Rie's eyes is unprecedented. Her scream is absorbed by the darkness inside the shadow realm.
Ayame is slowly swallowed by that place too. The pink haired reacts on instinct, she steps back, the shadow of that strange creature drawing closer with a smirk, he raises his hand, shadow claws coming out of it, Rie tries to escape, but she stumbles and falls to the ground.
"This can't be happening, this can't be… Why? Everyone is… They're all..."
Standing on her feet, she tries to run again, but it's too late. The shadow is behind her and deals a blow, it stops in the middle-way and she looks in front, there is a faint light, a crack in the dark realm, she sees a transparent spirit, it is…
"Magician Valkyria?! That card..."
She remembers she has it in her deck, but why is it there? The valkyria strikes the dark wall and opens a path outside. Dashing past Rie she confronts the shadow. The creature disguising as a human destroyed the valkyria, Rie's hand stretches to the light, but when she looks back a last time the angered shadow of her opponent hits her.
His claws cut through her throat and she is sent flying away with the impact, outside the realm. Her body falls to the abandoned dorm grounds with a thud, her dizzy eyes can only see the shadow trying to pass on to her world, but the gap closes and the shadow realm entrance is forcibly shut off.
She is in pain, it feels like all her vocal chords were torn apart, she opens her mouth, but no sound comes, and without energy to keep her eyelid open, she faints. The next thing she remembers is crawling back to the forest, where some passerby students found her and after that, she was hospitalized, but her voice was gone.
Back to the present
Ryo's eyes linger on the last line of that page, his mouth slightly open in shock of all that he read, he then casts glance at Rie, narrowing his eyes in distrust. Does she really believe all this happened? Did she hallucinate it all? In the end, there was nothing about Fubuki, but is it possible something like this could've happened to him too?
"Are you saying that your voice and your friends disappeared in a shadow duel…? This is..."
She gets up in an instant, approaching him in while typing something on her device slightly nervous, almost desperate:
"I know it sounds crazy! I know it! You can look at me with those eyes, but this is the truth!"
Her hands tremble, his eyes are filled with pity. She is certainly unstable, maybe it was not his greatest idea to ask her after all. What did he expect? His voice is collected:
"I am not saying you are lying, but if what you say is true, wouldn't it make even more sense to go back there and check? Is that what you were doing that night?"
"Yes! I mean, no… I..."
She stops her hectically typing fingers for a moment, the scenes of that day coming back vividly to her mind, a feeling of dizziness takes over her, her legs are weakened and she falls sitting to the ground.
"Are you alright?"
He kneels down, a drop of sweat rolling down his face in worry. Did he pressure her mind too much?
She lowers her head, her hair covers her eyes as she types on her shaking device showing it to him:
"I left all my friends there… I left them all there. Do you think I would forget that? That I would lie about that?"
He flinches at the words, furrowing his brows in concern even more. She continues typing, but her fingers quiver, some tears fall down the display.
"I was a coward, I ran away without even trying. I left them all there and they were all taken by that darkness. I… Don't deserve to be here… I shouldn't be… I should've been there and they should be here in my place..."
Dropping the display she covers her face crying aplenty, but it doesn't make a sound. At this point he curses himself mentally for causing all this and not knowing what else to do.
"Calm down..."
He is hesitant to even touch her shoulder, it feels like she will just fall apart more and more if he does. However, not doing anything won't solve the issue. Closing his eyes, he breathes deeply, placing his hand on her shoulder, getting her attention.
"Kinomoto, I understand you must have felt terrible, but if what you say is really true, crying here won't do any good." her eyes melt even more while looking deeply at his. "If someone took them away, then this is a reason to go there and try to get them back, right? Wouldn't you want to get your friends back?"
Her eyes open wide with the suggestion, her tears stopping, she wipes them away and immediately denies. He stands up clenching his fists.
"I may know why you wouldn't want to go back there, but if it's about dueling, I won't lose to anyone! And if this gives me the chance of finding out what happened, I will try it!"
Their eyes meet at different heights, she is amused, but worries at the same time. Quickly grabbing her device, she types fast:
"No! You can't go there! You should stay away, that palace is dangerous! You will..."
"After reading all this, I can't come to decide whether I believe it or not, but I will know for sure if I go there myself. You can come along if you feel like it. But, Kinomoto standing here crying on the ground will neither save you or your friends."
He stretches his hand towards her, offering help, she reluctantly accepts his hand and he lifts her with ease. She lowers her gaze again, struck by his last words.
"I will go regardless, but if you come, perhaps you may overcome the fears in your heart."
Her blood is sent violently through her veins on the mentions of him going too. She knows the terrors that lay silently, trapping everyone that approaches that place. She can't allow that to happen again, and like he said, going there might help her overcome this fear, plus if there is a chance, just a slight chance she can see her friends again and regain her voice…
She looks at him with expectancy, if it's the Kaiser, then maybe he can win that duel is what she thinks from the bottom of her heart. He is the best duelist in the academy after all, right? No way he'd lose.
Desperate, she fails to notice some bigger play is in motion, the communicator she has been using all along beeps and a red light blinks.
At the office of the psychologist, the said man sits on his fancy cushioned chair, he has earphones connected to the exact same type of device she held, his device shows sound waves on the superior left corner and displays the last message Rie sent.
His smirk is wicked, pulling out one of the earphones while standing up. Grabbing Rie's psychological and biological profile. He takes a lighter and burns it down, menacingly, throwing it outside the window as the papers engulfed in flames are blown in the wind.
"Bye bye…" his grin enlarges, a muffled laugh coming from his throat. "Those won't be necessary anymore..."
"I need to prepare the area. I will soon receive more visitors. Maybe, I should make a surprise..." under the glasses, his eyes become red, just like those of that creature "I should keep the secrets about darkness after all..."
His smile enlarges and he laughs in a low and vile tone, he bends over on the chair, enjoying his espionage. Which sort of plans does he have?