Top Girls!

Nine

"Welcome, welcome, to another episode of Top Gear!" Misato declared cheerfully as the tightly packed crowd in the hanger roared.

"Evening, everyone," Ritsuko smiled wryly.

"Hello, all," Maya waved.

Misato waved for quiet, then as the noise dropped she said, "Change of plans! I'm sorry, but the Across Japan run has been postponed..."

There was a loud groan from the audience. They clearly had been looking forward to the planned boat/rail/car race across the country.

"The Bullet Train route was actually damaged in the last Angel attack," Ritsuko explained to them politely. "However, Japan Rail expects repairs to be done in a week."

"However, we've got something BETTER." Misato revealed, pausing for dramatic effect. "I get to ride a real TANK!" Misato said as she grinned.

"We're doomed," Ritsuko sighed.

"Yeah..." Maya agreed.

"Hey!" Misato pouted as the crowd laughed. "So we're off to a testing ground not far from old Tokyo..."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"So, when were you going to tell me you were a spy?" Gendo asked seemingly casually as they met in his office.

Ryoji Kaji shrugged eloquently as he explained, "I wasn't. And my answering to the UN doesn't make me a spy... at worst I'm keeping a eye on you for your bosses."

"While working for both me, the UN and... other parties," Gendo noted flatly. He didn't name SEELE explicitly, but both men got the subtext.

"So what are you going to do?" Kaji wondered mildly, "shoot me?"

Gendo paused for a moment, enjoying Kaji's nervousness. "No, I'm leaving you exactly right where you are," Gendo finally shrugged.

"Huh?" Kaji blinked.

Gendo looked at him thoughtfully. "If I remove you or eliminate you, they'll just recruit another agent. This way I can keep an eye on you," he explained.

"Ah," Kaji nodded thoughtfully.

"Though we will be closely observing you and what data you access, obviously," Gendo added. He smiled, "I may even channel information I want the UN to have through you."

"Understood," Kaji nodded willingly. "Can I go, now?" he asked.

"Dismissed," Gendo nodded.

Of course both men knew that they would continue to maneuver against each other. Gendo was also certain that Kaji would keep digging into NERV. But controlling a agent like that was more useful than just trying to eliminate them...

Besides... Gendo liked the man. Damn it.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"WHOO HOO!" Misato yelled happily as the tank went up to and then drove right over a line up of wrecked cars tnat had been set up for them.

"ACK," Maya whimpered as she held on to a safety bar just behind her in the tank cockpit. The other Top Gear hosts had reluctantly agreed to ride along. Right now, Maya was regretting that.

"This really is no different from riding along with Misato NORMALLY," Ritsuko cheerfully snarked, while also holding on for dear life.

"I heard that," Misato replied cheerfully as she turned the tank, grinding over another car and turning it into chunks of wreckage.

"So as a Top Gear host, how would you rate this?" Maya asked curiously, aware they were all on camera.

Misato just laughed. "Well, the zero to sixty is AWFUL, and it handles worse than a US super car," she noted frankly. Then she grinned as she added, "But it doesn't stop for ANYTHING. POWEEEER!"

This time they bounced over the wrecked Porche that Ritsuko had bought for the Tokyo race earlier. It crunched most satisfyingly.

"Ha!" Ritsuko grinned.

"Payback's a bitch," Misato agreed as they also crunched her car that had also been wrecked in that episode. It flattened very satisfyingly

"Is that my VW bug?" Maya noted, alarmed.

"Ha ha! REVENGE!" Ritsuko noted cheerfully as they also crunched the victor of the last race, even as poor Maya groaned pitifully.

"My poor bug...," Maya sighed.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"You are SO lucky," Toji noted, the slightly taller jock sitting beside Shinji at school.

"Huh?" Shinji blinked.

"You get to help with Top Gear," Toji, a developing car nut, noted with a happy sigh.

"And you get to live with MISATO," Kensuke sighed enviously.

"Ha," Shinji smiled wryly.

"What?" Toji asked.

Shinji thought of all the empty beer cans and cooking he had to do, not to mention the general looking after of Misato he did. On the other hand, he wasn't sure he wanted to burst their imaginary bubble on Misato...

"Never mind," Shinji waved it off.

Both boys looked at him curiously, but decided not to push. "Are you still taking a few days off next week?" Ken asked curiously.

"Yeah, I'm helping out with the across Japan race," Shinji admitted. "Barring any unexpected complications or Angels," he added.

"You, Asuka, Rei and Mari," Ken said enviously. "Is it true Mari is the Stig?" he asked.

"They haven't told me," Shinji said honestly.

"I think it's Asuka," Toji noted, "she has the viscousness you'd need to drive like the Stig."

THAT was something Shinji hadn't considered. Personally he thought the Stig was Rei, but... who knows?

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Some say they are a secret military project," Misato declared to the studio audience, "and that their very existence is a war crime! We just call it: the Stig!"

"Today the Stig will be attempting to take a armored Personel Carrier around our track," Ritsuko told the crowd.

"I really don't think this is going to work out well," Maya predicted.

The bulky armored vehicle appeared on the screen as Misato declared, "And they're off!"

Everyone watched as the boxy armored vehicle kind of... lumbered along.

"Oh geeze," Misato winced. Clearly this wasn't going to be one of those exciting races.

"Eeep," Maya 'eeped' as the APC nearly fell over taking a turn.

"I don't think they're BUILT to go that quickly," Ritsuko added as the Stig clearly was flooring it.

"Think it'll actually tip over?" Misato wondered.

"It's certainly POSSIBLE," Ritsuko observed.

They watched as it did another turn, going up on two wheels. It thumped down, then charged down the straightaway.

"Two turns..." Maya narrated. "It's VERY wobbly... but they made it! And across the line!"

"We'd NORMALLY post a time. but...," MIsato shrugged.

"It's very, VERY slow," Ritsuko agreed.

"We'd like to thank the Japan Self Defense Forces for cooperating in the making of this episode," Maya said warmly, then bowed.

"Thank you!" Misato and Ritsuko echoed, also bowing.

"And good night, everybody!" Misato added, waving.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

After filming the episode, the three women tiredly met up before going home. The bar, one of many in Tokyo-3, was used to seeing them and didn't fawn over them or anything.

"I'm kind of wondering WHY Gendo had us do a episode with the military," Misato wondered as she drank her beer.

"Especially since we've practiced war games with the army invading NERV," Maya agreed as she delicately sipped a wine cooler.

Ritsuko gave both of them a look. "We're assuming that once we win against the Angels, the Japanese government will send the army after us," she reminded them.

"Correct," Misato agreed.

Maya guessed where Ritsuko was going, "So after working with us on a episode, they'll see us more like people, not possible targets."

"And therefore more hesitant to shoot us," Misato finished.

"That's the hope," Ritsuko nodded.

To be continued...

Notes: Slightly more broken up than usual. I wanted to switch between various bits.