Top Girls!
Chapter 10
"Good morning, Japan! I'm Shinji Ikari," the young man said nervously, standing on a beach nearby a waiting car.
"I'm Satsuki Ooi," the busty woman waved, "and this is the Stig."
The shorter Stig just stared ahead, helmet and jumpsuit on.
"And tonight, we're racing across Japan!" Satsuki continued.
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Back at the hangar studio, the three Top Gear hosts were holding forth. "Yes, tonight's race is supercar vs bullet train, vs boat!" Misato declared cheerfully.
"Maya and I, of course, will be taking the bullet train," Ritsuko said calmly.
"Misato gets the boat," Maya smiled.
The three hosts walked over to a map of Japan, where they pointed out various features. "The car, and our two train goers, will be starting out here," Misato pointed then gestured to the north, "and race up Japan to here."
"Of course, this will be somewhat different than the original race on the first Top Gear series," Maya added.
"Because of the flooding after Impact, several rail lines had to be moved," Ritsuko pointed at areas of the map, "as well as various connections. While in some parts it will be easier to connect routes, in others it will be harder."
"Ha ha. I just get to race around Japan in a boat!" Misato smirked.
"Don't gloat," Ritsuko scolded.
"Besides, you'll be on a boat. In rough waters. Possibly bad weather. Thankfully you don't get sea sick...," Maya teased.
Misato paused before conceding, "Point."
Quite cheerfully Maya added, "We DID consider also racing an Evangelion across country too, but... well..."
"The Japanese government objected. Strongly," Ritsuko deadpanned.
"So, studio audience... enjoy the show!" Misato smiled.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Back at the starting point, the Stig calmly ignored the hosts and strode to the car.
"Uhm..." Shinji blinked.
"Get in before they drive off!" Satsuki ordered and they all climbed in.
"Okay," Shinji said as he climbed in the front seat, Satsuki in back, "uhm, this is the first time I've narrated a trip like this, so excuse any mistakes."
"You apologize too much," Satsuki noted mildly.
"Sorry," Shinji smiled wryly.
Satsuki chuckled softly.
The Stig just ignored them, calmly following the road. They checked the signs then turned, before reaching the main road.
"The good news is, we won't have the issues Clarkson had with the language and signs," Shinji noted cheerfully. During the first Top Gear Japan race, Jeremy Clarkson had no ability to read any of the signage, relying on satnav. And when that failed, he got lost.
"You're assuming the Stig can read," Satsuki noted.
Shinji paused. "Uhm..." he started.
The Stig looked away from the road long enough to give them both a withering look, then went back to driving.
"We're good!" Satsuki added cheerfully.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"For our international fans," Ritsuko puffed a bit as she jogged along to the station, "our trains run on time. Even a delay by a minute is considered 'late.'"
"Which is why we're running. As it goes nearly immediately!" Maya added much less breathlessly than her.
"I hate you," Ritsuko muttered.
Maya teased, "We clearly need to get you out of the lab more, senpai."
Ritsuko just growled.
The two rushed into the station, quickly checked the signs then hurried to the ticket counters. Everyone paid, headed to the train platform, then boarded.
"Oh sweet relief," Ritsuko sighed as she flopped into a seat.
Maya just smiled as she sat. "We'll be on this train for roughly an hour, then we'll switch," she said, "and after that we'll be on the bullet train itself."
"Here's hoping no more running," Ritsuko muttered.
"You just jinxed yourself, ma'am," Maya noted mildly.
"Ugh," Ritsuko sighed.
(They were, of course, followed by a film crew. In this case, sadly, one guy with a video camera, who was wheezing worse than Ritsuko. Poor bastard.)
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
"Ok, I'm off," Misato dashed away as the car roared off and Maya and Ritsuko hurried off.
Misato was self-narrating as she went, "We've set up a dock on the shore for the motorboat, as there were no marinas nearby. I expect Ritsuko to complain later that it gave me a unfair advantage."
Misato jogged to the waiting boat, where a familiar face waited. "Hi, boss!" Kaede Agano waved from where she was standing in the cockpit.
"Nice to see you," Misato recovered quickly. "I thought we were getting a pro captain?" she asked curiously.
"They cancelled unexpectedly. However, I'm qualified for this," Kaede said as she helped Misato aboard and they buckled in.
Kaede started the engine as a crewmember untied them from the dock. Then they eased away from shore, moving carefully.
"You'll note we're moving out very slowly," Misato narrated as they moved out to sea, "that's because we have to be careful. There is a lot of submerged stuff in and around Japan, and we don't want to risk hitting it."
"Once we'll get farther out to sea, we'll hit the gas," Kaede agreed.
"oof," Misato grunted. The waves were fairly steady, and the speed boat bumped a fair bit. The lack of stability was a trade off for higher speed.
"Easy there," Kaede warned.
"At least the weather is good," Misato noted, "sunny and warm. I would not want to be out here when it was stormy."
"To be honest, I'd refuse to take this boat out in a storm," Kaede observed. "It's too light weight, it'd capsize."
"There's a happy thought," Misato agreed.
"All right, we're far enough out!" Kaede smiled, "Engines, go!"
"Whoo-hoo!" Misato cried as they raced off, wind blowing through her hair.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0
Meanwhile, back at NERV they were monitoring goings on while also keeping a eye on any possible Angel activity.
Makoto Kyuga pushed his glasses up as he sat at a bridge terminal, "You ever feel like a useless side character?"
Shigeru Aoba pushed back his long hair, "Every day, my friend."
Aoi pouted as she complained, "Why are both Kaede AND Satsuki helping with Top Gear? I want to be on TV too!"
Everyone just kind of ignored that.
"So who would win in a fight: astronauts or cavemen?" Makoto wondered aloud.
"That AGAIN?" Shigeru asked, rolling his eyes.
To be continued...
Notes: I kind of realized I never used Makoto or Shigeru, the two Bridge Bunnies.