DISCLAIMER: I dislaim it. Really I do. I even spelt 'disclaimer' right.

((A/N Hurray! Dyeh, if you are reading this, and have not yet given me that address, then you shall die. I shall throw you to the lions. I wrote this chapter for you, and you will now give me what is mine))

Stalking Kyo

Shigure had noticed recently that Kyo had been getting all flustered over normal, everyday objects, like bandaids. Now, your average, every-day adult wouldn't connect a teenager's occasional blushes and stuttering to anything perverted… but, Shigure wasn't your average, every-day adult – as we are all very much aware. After all, since when were novelists ever ordinary…? Point proven.

So, Shigure used the power of observation (ie. Stalking Kyo) to find out more. He was, at times, just as curious as a cat. And he intended to find out why Kyo had been so distracted and embarrassed when Yuki had asked him to pick up some lotion for cuts – as they had run out. As a novelist Shigure had a lot of imagination, sometimes more than is good for him (for example, his perverted thoughts about Kyo's reaction to a demand by Yuki to get something from the shops).

The other day, Shigure had finally felt like he was ready to give up when something interesting happened. Ayame seemed to have lost his sewing container, and was very distraught about its disappearance. Hatori returned it the day after without giving a reason, further stimulating Shigure's imagination. But… it was probably nothing. It would probably be nothing had not Hatori started blushing over random objects as well, like knitting needles and spools of thread.

Shigure would stop at nothing to find out what was going on.

Kyo rolled his eyes as the black dog behind him suddenly stopped at the same time as he did. Shigure had been following him for a few days now. It was annoying as Kyo couldn't go to Hatori's or anywhere with that mutt following him. All his actions would be worldwide news if he did. Ok, so he was exaggerating a bit, but Kyo couldn't stand Shigure knowing what he did with his spare time.

And, with Shigure stalking him, he couldn't continue his 'extra-curriculum' activities. Such as… well, heaps of different kinds of things. Kyo was very versatile. And felt horrible from far too much lemon. Because you can't eat grilled fish without lemon, and Kyo liked grilled fish. A lot. Didn't help that the cat was allergic to the yellow fruit. Kyo should have listened to the doctor's advice when he said that eating lemons would make him sick. Why didn't Kyo listen to anybody? Both questions shall remain unanswered.

Red eyes darted toward Shigure, imagining going to Hatori's with Shigure looking on… wait, why shouldn't he go to Hatori's with Shigure looking on? It wasn't going to hurt anybody if he went to Hatori's to beg some medical attention off the doctor… would it?

Hatori opened the door, not expecting a very sick looking Kyo with a poorly hidden Shigure in the background.

Anyone would have been proud of his reaction. The door was shut in Kyo's face without missing a beat.

So Kyo tried the back door. Which was locked. He tried the windows. Which were also locked. And considered barging through a wall in imitation of Kagura in his desperation… then realised that Hatori obviously didn't want him to come in. This realisation had Kyo paralysed. Why wouldn't Hatori want Kyo to come in?

There were heaps of possible reasons. But… Kyo didn't know Hatori that well. Nobody really knew Hatori except Aya and Shigure… The very Shigure who was following him! Wow, Kyo Sohma was intelligent!

"Shigure! Come out of hiding and tell me why Hatori won't let me in!"

"Who? Me? I'm not here! I'm at home working!"

"…"

"What are you looking at me like that for? You aren't meant to see me! Stop it!"

"…You are an idiot."

"Anyway… What did you want?"

"Tell me why Hatori won't let me in."

"Tricky question. There are many possible answers. But first, why do you want to know?"

"…You are a terrible spy. Fine, I'll tell you. Only because you are so pathetic: I'm sick. And have been trying for the last half an hour to get Hatori to let me in."

"You don't say. I didn't know that. Possible reasons for this occurance are: 1. Hatori has an irrational fear of red heads. 2. Hatori likes to keep his house in one piece. 3. Hatori doesn't like having sick people near him-"

Kyo figured that he would just have to listen until Shigure came up with a reason that sounded viable.

"Ayame just get away from me," Hatori hissed. "I'm telling you, returning your sewing box did not mean that I stole it, so I don't have to suffer 'Punishment of the Worst Kind'. Besides which, you are keeping a patient waiting..."

Ayame looked angry. "I'm not going until I get my pin cushion. I know you have it. And I want it back. So you will give it to me."

"Go away! Kyo has gone and eaten lemon again and needs medication. And I don't have your pin cushion!"

"You do."

"I've been telling you that I don't have it for the past hour, Ayame."

"And I can tell that you are lying."

Shigure was still reciting a list of idiotic reasons when Kyo was removing tiles from the roof. Hatori didn't particularly like it last time he didn't remove the tiles last time he had came though the roof, so this time he took the time to take them off.

Following the sounds of voices, Kyo ended up in the living room, with Shigure following two steps behind. Then suddenly the floor collapsed beneath Shigure's feet. He fell into a pit of lions but was saved by Ayame, who, being in the living room at the time, jumped into the pit of lions after Shigure to fetch his pin cushion… when suddenly the lions turned vegetarian. However, this didn't change Shigure and Ayame's predicament, as the lions were very violent vegetarians…

"Uh…" Kyo ached all over as he woke from the fever dream.

"Kyo? Kyo, can you hear me? Ok then. You fainted, Kyo. I hope this persuades you not to eat lemons again." Hatori wiped the sweat off Kyo's face with a damp cloth. "And would you please leave that pin cushion in a really obvious place for Ayame to find? He is obsessed with the idea that I stole it…"

Everything was once again right in the world. Except for the mysterious trap door in Hatori's floor fitted with cave lions in the case of anyone ever breaking into the dragon's lair…