DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN! It's the day you've all been dreading! I, Wheeliefan101, HAVE RETURNED!

Okay, so you're probably wondering: WHEELIEFAN101, WHERE THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN?! *virtual slap*

First, *rubs face* ow. Violence is never the answer! Except for when it is.

Second, Prowl put me in the brig for a while because I was being a smart aleck (why won't you just accept who I am, Prowl?! WHY WON'T YOU LOVE ME?! *shrug* Ah, well. I'll get over it). Then I went on a wild goose chase for a wild goose who wasn't actually a goose, it was just Tracks in a bunny suit who fell in a lake and then Red alert had to babysit me because the bots had to leave for a little while and they didn't trust me alone and then when they got back Prowl threw me in the brig even though I hadn't really done anything but The Lego Movie was coming out so I snuck out and then after watching it I got caught by Red alert so I was stuck in the brig for a little bit longer then someone threw a package at my head that said "writer's block" but I didn't know who it was from so I didn't open it and I later found our it was a bomb, which makes me think someone's trying to get rid of me but I can't imagine why and then I got sick.

Red alert: *looks at run-on sentence and shakes helm in disgust* Amd you call yourself an author...

Wheeliefan101: *shrug* I never said I was a good author. I just said I was an author. Oh, oh yeah. Wheeliefan101 does not own transformers no matter how much she wants to and this is not intended for offense. I'm tired. I'm going to go to sleep no-*collapses*

Red alert: *blink* ...wow...

Chapter 5: Just plain stupid

#40 Trying to sneak out when Ironhide is on duty is not advised

I was quieter than a mouse

How could he possibly have known?!

But he found me

Then he hogtied me

HOGTIED!

It got worse when he duct taped my mouth

And started dragging me to Prowl

Ever been hogtied, duct taped and then drug to Prowl?

Don't try it

It is no fun

AT ALL!

My arms and legs cramped

The rope rubbed my wrists and ankles raw

And my back got rug burn (or tile burn if you want to get technical when we changed terrains)

Prowl was not happy

Neither was I

Duct tape hurts when it's ripped off your mouth

Especially when it's done by Prowl

That guy can be mean and nasty when it comes to punishments

THE VERY NERVE OF BEING HOGTIED!

#41 When a large ship comes with new recruits, do not run around screaming "THE SKY IS FALLING!"

Red alert may have had a sparkattack

And, of course, the newbies (or oldies, should I say. They just recently found out we were on Earth and just now decided that they should help us so technically they've been working longer than me, even though that really isn't saying much, even so-this is getting way too long for paranthesis...I'm stopping now...), thought I was very weird

Anything less would be shameful ;)

But seriously, I never knew there were so many other Autobots that were there and not here!

I don't really like the grumpy green guy, though...

Ah, well

Can't really blame him

Poor guy's named after a dish!

#43 (me: *in whiny voice* Do I really HAVE to do this one? Prowl: Do you really want a repeat of last time? Me: *momentary flashback* *shudders* Fine. I'll do it) New mechs/any males, flirting with me is strongly advised against

Heh heh

Being the only femme (or in my case, half femme) around has it's drawbacks

This is kinda awkward

Well, uh...*rubs back of neck nervously*(do I really have to do this? It's so embarrassing!)

Prowl: *glare*

Me: Fine, fine! *nervous swallow*

Yeah, we'll one of the new mechs was named Hot rod

Hot rod must've thought I was a mini-bot or something

Anyway...

I was in my Cybertronian robot mode

And then he...flirted with me

0/0

And he ended up with a large dent in his helm

Courtesy of Ratchet

Who then yelled at Hot rod for hitting on a youngling

Ya shoulda seen the look on his face ^_^

You really should've seen the look on his face when I transformed to my human mode

He stuttered and nearly glitched

I had to explain the whole thing

Shockwave, you ruined my life }:(

#44 Don't call me short if you ever want to see daylight again

I was feeling kind of self-conscious after the whole flirting incident

And when Tracks started teasing me about my height...

Well

...I get stronger when I'm angry...

He ended up with a whole lotta dents

I only stopped when Ratchet knocked me out

Then, of course, I got lectured about controlling my anger

I'M YOUNG, NOT SHORT!

#44 Don't lock me and Cliffjumper in a room together

Cliffjumper and I got off on the wrong foot

Scratch that

We both tripped on each other and had an all out brawl

But enough of the sad metaphors!

Back to what happened in the room

We nearly killed each other

There is one thing Cliffjumper and I can agree on

We will terminate the person who locked us in there (and if you're reading this, learn to sleep with BOTH your eyes open and your door locked!)

#45 Do not ask the twins to teach you Jet Judo

I was positive I could get it right this time!

I mean, I was going to be taught by the masters (or at least the 'bots who made it)!

But...

Skyfire didn't appreciate the Jet Judo as much as we thought

And I ended up with a broken arm

Ratchet was mad

Skyfire was mad

Everyone else besides me, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe was mad

It was not a happy day

#46 No more name calling contests

"Fraghead"

"Glitched sparkling"

"Oil breath"

"Slagger"

"Cherry bomb"

"Freaky half 'con"

*big gasp* "YOU TAKE THAT BACK!" *tackles him*

Yeah

Cliffjumper and I had a fight

First verbally

Then after his commemt about me being half Con...

It became more of a fist/kick/bite/every-man-for-himself fight

It did not turn out pretty

Prowl made us stand in the brig facing each other 'til we apologized

We're still there

#47 When you are cracking your knuckles, do not tell any 'bot, "that's the sound of my bones breaking"

Red alert freaked out

I was just joking

He didn't believe me

I was wheeled over to Ratchet A.S.A.P.

When Red alert told him what happened, he started to panic, too

I suffered many scans

They hurt

A lot

Then they both got mad when they found out there were no bones brutally shattered

Ratchet personally drop-kicked me to the brig

It was just a joke!

#48 Do not hide somewhere then shoot spit balls at passing 'bots

I got a straw

Too many sheets of paper for a normal person to have and not get their sanity questioned

And spit

Lots and lots of spit

You shoulda seen the Bots

They kept looking around

Then they just shrugged and walked off

XD

It was all fun and games until I tried to hit Hound and Mirage

They snuck up behind me and caught me in the act

Turns out the first Hound and Mirage were just holograms

The ones that snuck up behnd me were all too real

Dang, I got it bad

The punishment is too severe for anyone under 279

Rated CAU

For Cruel and Unusual

#49 No public displays of mating

You guys know who you are

I won't name names

*coughSpringerArceecough*

One word to you guys (meaning mechs AND femmes)

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

I found them...flirting with each other and (dare I say it) KISSING

*shivers*

I screamed and ran to get Prowl immediately

He banned it

Yay ^_^

At least he's good for something

#50 No red pens, markers or paints

I had been doodling with a red pen

Then I noticed it had gotten ALL OVER me

I merrily went on my merry way to merrily wash it off

Ratchet saw me being merry, and minding my own business I might add, and for some reason though I was covered in blood

I mean, I was only bathed in a red, shiny liquid!

Sheesh

He rushed me to the med-bay

I suffered many tests

He then yelled at me when he realized it was just ink and not a life threatening situation

Well, at least I know the old Doc bot cares for me ^_^