Notes: I didn't beat FFX until several weeks after I wrote this. Eheh... this is an Auron/Tidus one-sided pairing... thing... no, I don't know what I was on. Yes, I an assure you it wasn't lemonade. Maybe it was cream soda... that does some weird crap to your brain. XD
Title: Never Titled Written: January 2003 Rating: K+
Many people have told me of the great things the world has. Love and devotion, friendship and loyalty. They've told me how when you sail the open seas and feel the salty air rush through your hair and against your body how it engulfs you in its warmth and permits the heart to soar so freely and not have a care in the world. How the sun gives us all a tender kiss in the morning to reward us for wakening in time for the breakfast to still be sweet and crisp in your mouth and melt upon your hungry tongue and make you delighted with the sweet tastes on your taste buds. How the sun gives you a goodnight kiss for being good and doing all your chores and not disobeying your parents. They even told me how the moon requests to gain the light from the sun to make my path appear before me and to guide me to where I truly belong. Why, they even said that the summoners that traveled so long and hard to defeat Sin did their duties joyously and brought everyone the Calm.
These people lied to me, and to this day I wish they had not. I grew up believing the sun was there to give you comfort, but as I grew it slowly became more noticable how the sun hid behind the clouds everytime something upsetting occurred. They said the moon guided you at night, but I noticed the moon would die when I needed help. You cannot go on the open seas for Sin is waiting for you, and when you do go on them the fear of being killed by the creature is so great you do not notice the sweet winds and your heart is pounding so badly it cannot go free. I've seen devoted loved ones intentionally sacrifice each other in order to save their own miserable lives, and not regret it. Friends whom you thought were loyal abandon you in the greatest time of need. Alas, and of course the summoners, the biggest lies I've ever known. They go through long, hard, painful, and perilous journeys. The reward? You die, and the person whom you hold the greatest bond with becomes the next Sin, and the Calm you brought is thrown away a few years later. Really, Spira is an endless cycle of death that never stops.
If there is one wish I can have granted, any wish whatsoever. Do you know what it would be? Back in Zanakan, you were so happy, and nothing could bring down your spirits. With the exception of losing the Blitzball Tournament that is. Here though, you've matured and while in some ways it is good, in a way it scares me. And brings upsetting thoughts. Kimahri told me, how you loved Yuna. When he saw you two kissing in the lake he watched you both, and then came to talk to me about it. While it is true I am a man of fewer words, he is one with even fewer. And because of this, he notices everything and had a feeling that he knew more about me than you ever could. I remember it well, because it was something that caused me to start looking at you differently for both our sakes. Kimahri came to me, and stood still behind me for a moment to get my attention. The Ronso knew that I knew he was behind me, he was not someone to fool.
"He is Yuna's." Kimahri said blankly. I stood there looking at him, and said nothing. The Ronso would do anything to protect little sweet Yuna, even if it meant forbidding something to a 'legendary guardian'.
"And?" I ask, testing to see if Kimahri knew what he claimed, or if he just felt like trying to get information from a hunch.
"They love eachother, it is not your place. Kimahri saw them share hearts through a gentle gesture, and he knows that he is Yuna's now." The Ronso continued as if I had not asked a thing. Again, empty staring.
"I never said he wasn't." My reply was the same as it always is, cool and sounding as if this made no difference to anything. But it made a large difference. In fact, it changed many things.
"Do not try to change that. Kimahri knows, he watches everyone and knows more than you think." The Ronso then left with that, and I merely went back to contemplating how we would get to the ruins of Zanarkan. Mind you, the knowledge I had gained was enough to drive me mad, but it was ignored because Kimahri was right. You were hers, and she was yours in a way that I could never obtain with you. Don't think I have no love for Yuna, she is as important to me as you are, but I love her not as I do you. When this feeling came is unknown, but I would say when your father decided it was time for your story. To see you upset… was something that no one would ever care to see. You are someone with such personality that to see you cry is heart-wretching. It's always been that way.
Remember when I first came? Your mother cared not who I was when you first saw me. She was slowly dying on the inside, and for all she cared this man who claimed to be a friend of her husband could have been a rapist. She was thin and pale, and just from looking at her one could tell sorrow would soon consume her soul so badly her life would end in an ungracious manner. Then I saw you, ten years younger than you are now. You too looked slightly unhealthy, but much better than your mother was. One could at least tell you would make it so long as there was someone to show you how to continue taking care of yourself. For the first two weeks I was there, you all but ignored me for I had a relation to the man who done this to your precious mother. You constantly tried to gain her attention, and when you did manage to tear her from the view to the ocean all she did was look at you and break down crying, her weak frame being overcome by anguish and sobs. It worried you and then you would try to cheer her up.
Cheer… how peculair in the future you would learn to use that very magic. Watching the scene, and even though I knew it was a dream of the Fayth, it did not stop me from slowly becoming emotionally attached. You did not cry as often as your father said, but you did cry when your mother slowly started to not even know you existed. You'd yank on her sleeve, then beg her to just look at you. She never did. Two days before she died, she moved to her bed, and then lay there. You never left her side, and I worried over you both. My friend asked me to watch over you both, and there you two were being eaten alive just because one man couldn't help that the Yunalesca could be so cruel.
It was quite a task to make you eat, because you wouldn't unless she did, and she didn't even know what reality was anymore. Before she died, the only word uttered from her parched throat and mouth was 'Jeckt'. It was not you. It was not an apology. It was the name of a man who treated you unfairly and the one who died and caused your mother this pain. You could not understand, and therefore threw the biggest tantrum I've ever seen. I checked her pulse, and was dismayed to find there was none. I called the doctor. They came, shook their heads, and explained the news to her son.
You then shed the most tears. When you ran to me and started punching my abs with your tiny fists, crying for her to come back and not be gone forever I merely stood there. The damage you inflicted was nothing to the sad sight of a small boy losing his mother, much like a young girl who had lost her father. Besides, I had fought alongside with Braska, those little hits were nothing compared to the ones I've received from Imps. Although, the Imps usually just used Thundaga, but this is besides the point. Eventually you calmed down and leaned against me, tears running down your chubby cheeks and the occasional sniffle.
"Why'd she leave?" Your voice sounded so distant and lost, and because I knew the situation and the reasons this happened, made my heart sag.
"She wanted you both." I whispered in reply, and gently placed my hand on top of your hand. Instead of smacking it away, you did not make any movement.
"She didn't need him! She had me, isn't that enough?" Your voice rose, and quavered a little. You were more upset than angry, but this was the easiest way for you to release your sorrow at the moment.
"For her it wasn't. She was so used to having you both around, when one of you left it was very different. When you grow accustomed to something, it's strange to not have it around." I tried to explain without causing your temper to flare. Being as young as you were, this was slightly confusing but it was comforting to know she did not die merely because she loved Jeckt and could care less about you. Thinking back about this now, I have the greatest urge to call that woman a bitch for hurting you so, but then you'd get offended. It was like that later, though over time you began to realize if you got a scraped knee you'd have to get over it, because I wasn't mommy nor was I 'that man'. Pretty much I merely helped you do what was needed, and beyond that if you wanted someone to kiss your booboos you'd have to find somebody else.
You grew up, and the mind-set of showing Jeckt you could be better than him kept you fascinated with blitzball until you too became a player. I went back to Spira for awhile, the last time I saw you your team lost because of you and I told you so. Sin returned. The night all of the people in Zanarkan (the dreamed one) had been waiting for, the one with Jeckt's son one full decade after his father deceased. Ruined by the man everyone had loved with all their hearts. After being gone three months, and I saw you again there was something different about you. No longer were you Jeckt, my best friend's, son. Now, you were a young man being thrown into something way over your head. When we got seperated, at the time it never occurred to me why worry was overflowing, nor why I searched endlessly until I found you.
You're not sure what to make of me, are you? So many times because of what has come forth from my mouth has flared your anger so. The entire fact that I know what's going to happen really doesn't help, but some things must be done. One day, you will understand. We're not far from Yunalesca now, and the closer we get the harder it is to go on. When you learn what I have, because you love Yuna you will most likely challenge the Reaper of Souls, and it will be a hard battle. Just so you know though, that so long as you are there, and Yuna is behind you and you each are happy, whatever you choose makes no difference. Your paths are clouded, but once you learn more for yourselves, I can guide your paths with more efficiency, because the moon cannot stay dead forever. Your love is like the sun in the morning and evening, rewarding. Come to think of it, maybe those people weren't so wrong after all.
Disclaimer: Nope. Do not own Final Fantasy X, nor I have beaten it yet. 0o;;
A/N: Aww… Auron likes Tidus! Does that make him a pedafile? Goes deep into thought then shrugs Aww well, it's like asking if Sephiroth would have been born if Jenova never existed. Likes making references to FFVII Well, not quite but… wonder if this should be a story or a one-shot? Damn Seymour. He ish a pain in the ass to defeat the third time… until you remember after a few battles there's such thing as aeons with overdrives. .0 Me not so intelligent… wheeee for ramblings! You have any? Ramble, rant, bitch, whatever! Or, betterly known as: R&R please! Or R&F!