Wheeliefan101: *reads script and shakes head* tsk tsk tsk
Ratchet: what are you going on about now?
Wheeliefan101: young writer me made SO many spelling errors!
Ratchet: young writer you is better at spelling than current you is
Wheeliefan101: ;0;
Wheeliefan101: she is not! I'm good at speling now!
Ratchet: what's the fancy word for a fast food place?
Wheeliefan101: oh you mean a restuarant
Wheeliefan101: restuarant
Wheeliefan101: reastur-that's just one example ok?!
Ratchet: what's someone who was born during the 90's called?
Wheeliefan101: milleinial
Wheeliefan101: millieneiul
Wheeliefan101: millieneil
Ratchet: that's what I thought
Wheeliefan101: *crying* I don't own these stupid mean transformers...
#91 Jumping into my arms is not advised
So you know how you sometimes get scared of something and jump into someone's arms?
Yeah, well turns out Bluestreak is afraid of beetles
The beetle started coming after him
He jumped into my arms
I'm one of the smaller 'bots
Who don't have super strength
So you can imagine how that went
"Bluestreak...get down before...I...go squish!"
After that the weight was too much for me
We fell like a rock
Then the beetle started to crawl over Bluestreak
He REALLY got scared then
My poor arms have never felt so much strain
#92 If you are a human, do not kick an Autobot
This is pretty self explanatory
But still
There are SOME PEOPLE who ignore some of the simplest of things
*coughcoughmecoughcough*
I got really mad at Cliffjumper
So I said "YOU STUPID BUCKET OF BOLTS!"
And then I kicked him
And then I proceeded to hold my foot, hop around, and say "ow"
I don't kick the 'bots anymore
I get someone else to do it for me
#93 Quit playing the "Imperial March" when I walk by
It was funny the first few times
But after about the 265th time...
It got REAL annoying
I finally took an axe to the place where it kept playing
I have yet to find out who did it
Seriously guys
I'm not THAT bad
…am I?
#94 I am not allowed to have any more sugar, Ratchet's and Prowl's orders
I had gotten some candy from school (there was a party)
I happily devoured all of it
And then Sideswipe offered me a cookie
I took it, ignoring the fact that I was already REALLY hyper
I went into a sugar induced coma
Ratchet was NOT happy
He freaked out
Prowl was not happy either
He got mad
They then banned all and any sugar from me
(Although they'll never know about my secret stash)
Prowl: I do now! We have the place surrounded! Surrender the contraband!
Me: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE IT WHILE I'M ALIVE! *hugs stash* WE'RE IN LOVE! YOU CAN'T SEPERATE THE LOVE!
Prowl: Release it. NOW!
Me: *begins chucking cookies at him* NO WAY, PROWLER!
#95 Always pay attention on monitor duty
I was bored
Nothing was happening
So I checked the tapes from a few days ago
I saw something that interested me
Unfortunately, I was so engrossed in it that I failed to notice the 'cons creeping in on one of the screens
There was an all out war at the base
I never noticed
So, I ran into the rec room (where the fight was happening)
And I yelled to everyone "GUESS WHAT! SANTA CLAUSE IS REAL! HE'S REAL! I CAUGHT HIM ON TAPE!"
I then noticed there were some 'cons around
I'm now monitored when doing monitor duty
#96 Do not tell the 'bots that they have phobias
I told Sunstreaker "I think you have Amychophobia"
Unfortunately I told that to him in one of the rare times that he was driving me somewhere
We crashed
I told Red alert he had Panophobia
He now has Phobophobia
When Sideswipe was driving slowly (which for us is at the speed limit, normal speed is usualy above the speed limit) I told him he had Tachophobia
I instantly regretted it
The speeding tickets we got after that...
I told Tracks he had Cacophobia
He threw a buffer at me
I said Bluestreak he had Entomophobia
He started babbling on about something I didn't understand
I told Ratchet he had Cherophobia when he stopped our fun (although that fun did involve painting Optimus pink)
He then told me I had Enissophobia
Once I had figured out what he had said I told him he had Cenephobia
He shot back that I had Gnosiophobia
I said he had Chaetophobia
He told me it was absurd and that he was not scared of it
I stated he WAS scared of it because he didn't have any
He exclaimed that I had Viscumphobia
I said I did not have Viscumphobia
I had Philemaphobia
#97 No watching Cybertronian horror movies
It was Sides and Streakers fault
They wanted me to watch it
I screamed louder than the bots on there
And I thought HUMAN horror movies were bad...
*shivers*
I ended up as a whimpering pile of tears on Sideswipe's lap
You shoulda seen the look on my face when they told me it was all real because nobot had time to film that stuff for entertainment
I'm almost positive my entire face turned white
Even though I was in Cybertronian mode
I now sleep with the lights on
#98 No trying to make Prowl crash on purpose
(Jokes work really well)
"What did the porcupine say to the cactus? 'Are you my mommy?'"
"Where should a 500 pound alien *coughcoughJazzcoughcough*-
Jazz: Hey!
"Go? On a diet!"
"Why can't your hand be 12 inches? Because then it would be a foot!"
"Why did Billy go out with a prune? Because he couldn't find a date!"
"Teacher: What is the shortest month? Student: May. It only has three letters."
These and many more have caused Prowl to crash
FUNNY. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!
Unfortunatley, some 'bots pitied him
And the devious masterminds came up with a genius plan
I walked up to Prowl and said "Here's a joke, Prowler. Teacher: I want you to think of the longest sentence you can think of. Student: Life imprisonment."
I smiled and waited
Prowl grinned back at me
The bottom fell out of my smile
LIKE A ROCK
Something was seriously wrong with the world
Prowl was...SMILING
Turns out he had turned down his audio receptors so he couldn't hear me
And he then proceeded to drag me-kicking and screaming-to the brig
For harassing a superior
Just between you and me,
*looks around and whispers*
It was SO worth it!
#99 Do not walk around with scratches in your paint job
I thought repainting myself was pointless
I mean, I would just get scratched up again
But I then started to get REALLY scratched up
Sides and Streaker (A.K.A. my guardians) began to notice
They asked me to repaint myself
I told them "Go fall in a hole!"
They then left me alone
But I walked into my room
And before I could turn on the lights, I got suckertackled by two figures
Before I could scream, someone clamped a servo over my mouth
The lights then turned on
Turns out Sides and Sunny had tackled me
Sideswipe then sat on me
And Sunstreaker repainted me (and even waxed)
Despite my protests
It tickled
They said no charge of theirs would be scratched up
I shot a death glare to anyone who said I looked nice
#100 If you have any value for your life at all, do not call Ratchet "The Candy Cane of Death"
*holds up hands in defense* hey, he looks like a candy cane!
He's red and white
And I just call 'em like I see 'em
Ratchet was coming after me for a check up
So I yelled "HELP! THE CANDY CANE OF DEATH IS AFTER ME!"
Whoo boy!
Did Ratchet ever get mad at that!
He put a whole new meaning to "running for your life"
I kid you not when I say I was seriously thinking of hiding with the Decepticons
The only thing stopping me was Sides and Streaker
And they were stopping me by sitting on me
Luckily, the finally sedated him
And no, no matter what you say, I am NOT coming out of this closet!