Is Revenge Worth It?

Disclaimer: Nothing Supernatural is mine; I have borrowed for a while. I'll give them back, I promise – apart from passing a little time with them, I have made no profit from this endeavour – so please don't come looking for me.

Summary: Sam seeks revenge.

Warning: Character Death (lots of Dean and Sam angst)

Rating: some swearing (naughty boys! Wash their mouths out)

Author's Note: Thank you to the kind people who have reviewed so far. Further constructive comments are appreciated.

Chapter 5 – A fresh start in the morning

Awww! Come on Sam, wake up! How long you gonna stay sleeping?

Light was actually seeping through the window, but the likelihood of it waking Sam up was minimal given that saying it was 'seeping' was almost an exaggeration when you looked at the dismal weather and combined it with the thick layers of grime and filth covering the window. In fact, as Dean stood at the window trying to see out, it was difficult to make out what was happening outside. It was in reality easier to walk through the wall to find out. Mind you, given the amount of dirt on the walls and windows of this particular motel, he didn't fancy walking through the layers of filth, which was odd really because so far he hadn't found anything that seemed to effect him, but he had never liked it when he got sick and he didn't want to catch some ghostly equivalent if there were such a thing.

He'd had to come in that way last night as it was because Sammy had done as he'd been told and had gone to bed. He'd tried showing off earlier by opening the door, well unlatching it anyway, hadn't quite managed the opening part yet but… well he could have another try at that now, Sam would be sure to wake up then. It was fortunate that Sam hadn't actually salted the doors and windows or he'd have been stuck outside all night – hadn't thought of that until he was on the other side of town. He'd have to start thinking like a ghost and not like… like he had done for years.

He flopped down in the chair and concentrated. The TV came on and he flicked through the channels until he came to something he could happily sit and ignore. He leant back and closed his eyes for a minute.

What are you doing here? Dean said I thought I told you to leave us be at the last motel. He opened his eyes and turned to look at the other figure in the room. He's sleeping so leave him be. It's taken me ages to train him into sleeping again without nightmares and me dying won't have helped.

You were trying to wake him up before.

None of your business. We'll be along to see you eventually, you just don't know anymore. It won't be long or I won't but he's not going to come with me or not straight away. You know it wasn't that long ago that you would have known you didn't want this.

Dean, baby, Please listen to me. It'll make him feel better and then we can be together again, all of us, as a family.

You know something. I'm not even sure you are my Mom. The last thing she would have wanted was for Sammy to be dead, hell I don't even believe she would have wanted Dad to go before his time, but you…

Dean, it's been so long. I've been waiting for so long alone. I want my family.

Well you know what. This isn't the way to get it. Mom, I love you, I always have, I always will but what you're suggesting… it isn't right. We won't be together if Sammy does what you say and I'll go with him wherever.

I don't want to be alone anymore, Dean.

Mom, I'm here. Can't that be enough for now? You're not alone now, you've got me. We can look out for them both, make sure they're safe. Mom, can't I be enough just for now? He could hear the desperation in his own voice. He didn't want to examine it too closely, but couldn't help it when he did. Was he worried that he just wasn't good enough for his Mom or was it desperation to save Sam and Dad? One thing for sure, it sucked.

We could be a family, Dean. You remember how much you want family?

Stop Mom. I'm not going to help you bring them to us any quicker. I will try to stop you. I make you this offer, I will wait with you, only going to watch over them, keep them safe. I will wait with you for as long as you want and you leave them alone and don't try to bring them quicker or I walk away and I try to protect them from you and your family will never be complete.

Dean, can you help me? Help me! I've been so alone for so long and I just don't know…Dean…I can't manage on my own anymore.

Mom. He rose and took her in his arms, comforting her, soothing her loneliness, hoping he could help her find her way again.

Both sets of eyes turned to Sam as he began to stir, gradually wakening. Dean and Mary stepped apart slowly, her fingertips grazed their way along his, she touched his cheek and walked through the door. Dean spared her one lingering look before turning his attention back to Sam.

Morning Sleeping Beauty! Rested and raring to go now are we? I thought I'd let you drive today, you know. Do we know where we're heading? Have you decided?

'Dean? It's a relief, you're back. I was worried about you last night. I'm sorry about what I said, it was just…'

Sammy, enough. We were both grumpy as old men, we'd spent the day cooped up in the Impala and much as I love her, sometimes even I need a little more space and a leg stretch, dude. We're okay. So today?

'Dean, thanks. I was thinking maybe I could go talk to Dad.' Sam was pulling clothes on as he spoke and throwing discarded items back into his duffle bag.

No deal.

'What? Why not? I only want to talk.'

You always were a lousy liar, Sam. I am not going to let you go anywhere near him until I know you're alright and right now, you no more want to talk to him than I want to... go and see Missouri.

'Very funny. You and Missouri had made up.'

Oh sure! And she's gonna be fine with me being dead, the insults she came up with when I was alive were bad. What do you think she'll have to say now? Plus she might decide to exorcise me and I'm not ready to be exorcised, I'm staying put. The woman has a mean old tongue on her and she keeps it in practice with me, not you, so… I rest my case.

'Okay no Missouri.'

No Dad!

'Fine, for now, but we could head that way then I'll be in the area when you change your mind.'

Sam, have you been talking to anyone other than me?

'Anyone other than you? Like who? The motel check-in guy? I didn't even stop for anything to eat last night. Which reminds me, I'm hungry. Are you going to wait here or come with me to find some food?'

Answer the question first.

'Dean, who would I have been talking too?'

Stop deflecting.

'Well, same to you.'

Mom.

'Mom. Right, why would I have been talking to Mom?' he kept his voice even, so Dean knew she was around, it was no big deal. If he had to ask, he obviously wasn't certain that Sam could talk to her.

Dean recognized the even tone of voice that Sam used when he was hiding something but the biggest give away had been the way his eyes had widened when Dean had said Mom.

We need to talk about that.

'What? What do we need to talk about?'

Your conversation with Mom. She and I spoke before you woke up, she's changed her mind, and she agrees with me, you shouldn't be going after Dad. I'll explain more later but we need to decide where we are going to head and we can talk about it over breakfast, so come on, Lazy Bones.

Sam shook his head and opened the door, shoving the key and his wallet in his pocket as he walked through.

Hold up dude, let me out too.

'I thought you could go through doors and stuff now. Why am I holding the door for a ghost?'

Sam, look at the filth on the door, window and wall. Would you want to walk through that? I feel positively contaminated every time I have to go through the grime. Remind me to ask Mom if I can catch any ghostly sicknesses from stuff like that.

Sam smiled with affection. 'You are one strange guy, Dean. In all the years of hunting, have we ever come across a ghost with a cold or a bug?'

Not obviously so, no. But then did you ever stop to ask them? Or had we filled them with rock salt before it became apparent?

He couldn't help himself, he had to laugh. It was good to have Dean around. He wasn't in any hurry to exorcise him or have anyone else exorcise him either, so maybe for now it was better not to go and see Dad in case he didn't see it the same way.