Utilitarian measures
Harry went to classes, making a habit of eying girls from other houses. Even girls in the common room.
Greengrass glared at him. But… nice arse.
"Potter?" asked Zabini, as Harry was cleaning his teeth before bed "Are you very slowly flirting with Greengrass?"
Harry stopped brushing and eyed Zabini. "She's not the safest witch at Hogwarts." said Harry.
Zabini nodded "So are you? She watches you like there's something going on?"
Harry shook his head "No. I've seen a healer about the injuries she's given me – that's all."
Zabini nodded at Harry's groin "The boys all right?"
"Flattered you care" said Harry sarcastically "They're fine, if excessively scarred."
"How did you end up such a sarcastic prat?" asked Zabini.
"Dorms with you for years? Helped me find my inner prat?" asked Harry sarcastically.
-==0==-
At breakfast, instead of bacon, Harry got a parchment letter; it just appeared on his plate. Harry poked it with his fork; it really looked like a letter, not bacon.
Harry picked it up, and on the back was written 'Harry Potter.' Harry opened the letter.
'Dear Harry Potter,
We need to talk.
My office, 7pm.
Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dubledore. OM, Dip Theur, Chief Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, Headmaster of Hogwarts.
P.S. I like raspberry rabbits.'
Harry read the letter, and stuffed it into a robe pocket. What was this going to be about, Harry wondered. Did Dumbledore suspect Harry of some of the things he'd done. Or, worse, the things he hadn't done, which might be … no, Harry was fairly sure he was all right. He didn't remember doing anything terribly illegal.
After dinner, Harry went down to dorms, cleaned himself up, put on a clean shirt, and went up to the entrance to the headmaster's office. A gargoyle-like statue blocked the passage.
"Um" said Harry "I've got an appointment?"
"Harry Potter to see Professor Dumbledore?"
Finally Harry wondered about passwords. But Harry couldn't thin of any. Unless… Harry took the crumpled letter out and read out "Raspberry rabbits". The statue moved to one side with a single hop, revealing a tight spiral staircase with a statue of a Griffin behind it. Harry stepped onto the staircase, and the staircase spun, depositing Harry in front of a closed door. Harry lifted his hand to knock and Dumbeldore's voice called out "Do Come in, Mr Potter."
Harry went open the door, only for it to swing open just ahead of his hand. The office was… well it was round, and crowded with occasional tables covered in magical devices, and a desk covered in paperwork. Behind all of that, in a golden chair, sat Professor Dumbledore. Squeaking noises from the wall drew Harry's eyes to painting covering the walls; all of old wizards and witches.
The headmaster looked up over his half-moon glasses. "Mr Potter" he said "Do take a seat."
Harry picked up a pile of paperwork form one chair and added it to the pile on another, and sat.
"We need to discuss most serious business. " said Professor Dumbledore.
Harry stared out the window. "What?" he asked, without, he thought sounding nervous.
"Our mutual enemy. Tom Riddle." said Professor Dumbledore. Harry involuntarily relaxed.
The Professor continued: "While he made horcruxes, it's now more likely that he hid at least one by giving it to loyal followers. To be resurrected, the horcrux needs to be used in a ritual. While the late Mr Malfoy almost certainly is to blame for the Diary being released, I believe his other closest followers may have , or know of the location of others."
Harry nodded. That seemed logical.
"The problem is that his most loyal followers still alive are in Azkaban." said Professor Dumbledore. "Which poses a problem for questioning them."
"You're quite important, can't you just approve your own visit?" asked Harry.
"I've tried" said Professor Dumbledore "I've appealed to their better natures, offered them some minor comforts. They refuse to tell me, quite… virulently. I'm very unpopular with them."
Harry nodded again. This made sense. Harry wondered if Professor Dumbledore had a plan. A plan occurred to Harry, one Harry didn't like the sound of. Harry being falsely imprisoned, impersonating someone who hated Dumbledore, befriending the worst Death Eaters, and wheedling the secrets from them. As plans went, it sounded like a lot of time in Azkaban to Harry.
"What's your plan?" asked Harry, unable to hold his voice steady.
"I really don't have one, Harry"said Professor Dumbledore "Maybe you and Alastair can come up with one."
"Is he still not speaking to you?" asked Harry.
"I've apologised, I don't know why he can't forgive me" said Professor Dumbledore.
"Um, the plan would basically involve me going to Azkaban?" asked Harry.
"Well, the Minister will approve you visiting, you're distantly related to Mrs Bellatrix LeStrange anyway" said Professor Dumbledore. Harry let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding in.
"I think Alastair and I can work something out" said Harry, more optimistically. "You're not coming?"
"I fear" said Professor Dumbledore "That Alastair would regard me as more of a hindrance than a help." Harry mentally agreed. A couple of curses came to mind.
"I will need an exemption from the underage magic laws" said Harry.
Professor Dumbledore nodded "Obviously." he said "I'll get Alastair to cast that on the way there."
Harry left the headmasters' office with a permission slip to leave Hogwarts, off to the Hogs Head tonight to see Alastair Moody. Harry left, feeling… the embryo of a plan. Voldemort had always said that Death eaters just needed some torturing to get them to comply.
-==0==-
A week later, on a Saturday, having had a very dismal boat ride, Harry looked at Azkaban prison. It was a huge black stone triangle on a small island, windswept, cold , and thronging with Dementors.
He took a calming draught. He still felt terrible, but at least he'd hear his mum soon.
Harry waited with the Aurors, then was let in through an iron gate. He handed over his wand to the prison commander, and was led down frigidly cold black stone hallways by Aurors casting patronuses to a meeting room with two chairs, one table and a barred window.
Harry drew Voldemort's wand and cast a quick spell on the Auror from behind. A mild confundus.
There was a witch in tattered, stained prison robes chained to the far chair with dark matted hair.
"Mrs LeStrange" said Harry politely. The witch in her ragged prison uniform, covered in matted black and grey hair looked up and screamed at Harry.
The Auror next to Harry apologised "They get like this" he said.
Harry nodded "Can I have a few minutes alone?" he asked.
"Don't get within reach, she'll attack you" said the Auror. Harry nodded what the hoped was reassuringly.
Once the door shut Harry tossed a vial of calming draught over to the witch. "It's a calming draught."
A hand covered in blackened claws snatched it and she sniffed the vial's contents then drank.
"Who are you" she asked a minute later.
"Harry Potter" said Harry politely.
"Little baby Potter, all grown up" said Mrs LeStrange tauntingly.
Harry drew Voldemort's wand and cast a silencing spell.
"You've got a wand. Big brave baby" said Mrs LeStrange tauntingly.
Harry held the wand in two fingers where Mrs LeStrange could see it.
"I have Lord Voldemorts' wand" said Harry "And I spent years listening to him."
"Give me the wand little boy" said Mrs LeStrange intently, calmly, staring, suddenly utterly still and not acting mad at all.
"I killed Sirius Black" said Harry, trying to sound casual.
"Sirius?" she said, sounding confused. "He was in here."
"He escaped, came looking for me" said Harry "And now I'm the head of the Black family. You were Bellatrix Black before you married. There's no need to bow, but, really, bow."
Mrs LeStrange did not bow her head. She sneered instead, her teeth were dreadful.
"Did Lord Voldemort give you, or your husband or your brother in-law a special object to keep safe?" asked Harry politely.
"I wouldn't tell you how many times we shat" said Mrs LeStrange.
Harry held the wand properly and cast 'torguedo intestino', and as he'd expected, Mrs LeStrange screamed in pain, clawing at the table, her blackened nails breaking.
"Such a handy spell" said Harry, stopping the curse. Mrs LeStrange pushed her messy hair away from her pale face, her sharp nose, high, sharp cheekbones and violet eyes looking like so many Black family portraits.
"You'll die for that" she panted.
Harry shook his head "You'll talk, or I'll torque. Do take your time deciding, I did confound the Auror."
"I'm going to cut your skin off slowly, with a blunt knife" said Mrs LeStrange intently.
Harry shook his head "No, you're going to tell me what I want to know, then swear an unbreakable vow to recover the object. Then you'll go do some 'community service' and afterwards, you, your husband and brother-in-law will be transferred into minimum security. Professor Dumbledore and I are working together, he is, of course a bit squeamish, but as I've known Alastair Moody since I was four… I'm not squeamish."
Mrs LeStrange laughed, her blackened teeth quite awful "You might have lasted a day in Slytherin" she said.
"I'm in Slytherin, Mrs LeStrange, and quite secure, thank you." said Harry cheerfully.
"You... but you…" said Mrs LeStrange.
"Mrs LeStrange, may I call you Bellatrix?" asked Harry. She spat at Harry.
"I have a backup plan" said Harry as calmly as he could "If you, your husband and brother-in-law all die, as the head of Black, I inherit everything, and search it at my leisure."
"Don't be a fool, their aunt Florence will inherit, then... Ostara, then Gerald." said Mrs LeStrange. Harry took out a muggle notebook and made notes with a ballpoint pen.
"Three unsuspecting LeStranges" said Harry "Easy meat," honestly how she survived Slytherin, thought Harry. Must have been all respect of the Black family name.
"Easy to say little boy, hard to do" said Mrs LeStrange dismissively.
"Oh please, I've killed dozens of people, including my own uncle. A few people between me and what I want is no problem. I have a very special invisibility cloak, you see. Goes through protections like I'm not there. Family heirloom apparently." said Harry.
Harry smiled, and Mrs LeStrange frowned.
"You're… telling the truth?" she said uncertainly. Harry nodded cheerily.
"So, mass deaths for you and your in-laws, or you spill the beans. Lord Voldemort made Horcruxes, you see, soul anchors that keep him alive. He made his first one when in his sixth year" Harry paused and smiled sincerely "I made mine in fourth year, and I have his wand. I summoned Slytherin's monster and used it to settle some scores when I was twelve. Speaking Parseltounge was so very helpful."
Mrs LeStrange sat back in the wooden chair, and blinked in surprise, not able to summon up spit or obscenities. Harry smiled toothlessly.
"You're…" she said quietly.
"Oh please, Dark lord?" said Harry dismissively "Dark cloaks and high collars? That's not me. I'm taking every elective, and I am accused of being the Ravenclaw Slytherin. Knowledge, power and a chance to spend my life learning magic." said Harry truthfully. "Anyone that gets in my way is just an obstacle" he added coldly.
"You're recruiting" said Mrs LeStrange.
Harry shook his head, she really didn't understand the paradigm at all, "I don't want followers. I'm not political. I want his horcruxes. If you know where one is, you will tell me and help me recover it."
"I am loyal" said Mrs LeStrange irrationally.
Harry smiled "He always had the most interesting advice" said Harry "Death eaters like you, he'd just say… just torture them until they obey." Harry was quite confident that if Mrs LeStrange was a mind-reader, she'd see the truth in what he'd told her.
"I am loyal" repeated Mrs LeStrange, sounding a little nervous.
Harry cast the organ-twisting spell again, Bellatrix LeStrange screamed in agony, and Harry waited a minute then stopped "And it's not even unforgivable" he said casually, as Mrs LeStrange slowly lifted her shaking head from the table-top.
"You're a monster" she croaked. Harry smiled "Now, gifts from your dear dark lord?" he asked.
"Golden cup" croaked Mrs LeStrange. "It's in my Gringotts vault."
Harry nodded, and took notes "Now, you can swear a witch's oath to recover the cup for me, and return to minimum security…. Or I make the LeStranges extinct… and as a favour to a friend, I'll plant a nasty little seed in your intestines. Neville Longbottom was my friend, and he really loved Herbology. Some plants are so very dangerous, but Neville loved them. A Dementor took his soul, protecting me. He'd be happy to think you died in agony over years from a blood-sucking briar rose.
Harry took a vial out of his robe pocket, and showed her the rose-hip. An innocent looking little thing.
Mrs LeStrange laughed "The Longbottoms are extinct!" she cackled.
Harry cast the torquedo curse again, and left it on till the witch fainted, then lifted the curse, and rennervated her.
She became conscious slowly, very groggy, and looked up at Harry.
"Why are you so cruel?" she asked tiredly.
"Never had anything but hate" said Harry frankly. "Terrible upbringing, Voldemort whispering to me in my sleep. I'm sort of ... the next version of Voldemort… but with less wasted effort."
Mrs LeStrange bought Harry's bullshit. Honestly she'd been gullible enough to serve Tom Riddle, she didn't exactly have the greatest critical facilities.
"I'll do it." she said. Or at least thought she might be able to escape.
Harry turned a page in his notebook and started reading aloud "I, Bellatrix LeStrange swear a vow most puissant upon my life to recover the cup from my Gringotts vault and return it the same day to Harry Potter. I will not attempt to escape, or harm Harry Potter, and I will return to custody in Azkaban once Harry Potter has the … cup." read Harry. Mrs LeStrange looked disgusted, but swore the vow anyway.
"Obliviate" cast Harry, and Mrs LeStrange's purple eyes glazed over.
"You don't remember this conversation. You remember Harry Potter coming and asking you to return the cup, to make reparations for your crimes. You remember swearing an unbreakable vow to... recover the cup from my Gringotts vault and return it the same day to Harry Potter. You swore not to attempt to escape, or harm Harry Potter, and swear to return to custody in Azkaban once Harry Potter has the cup."
Harry finished his obliviate, and Mrs LeStrange laughed "Baby Potter needs to try harder than that. I'm a witch of the Black, we've got strong mental defences."
Harry smiled, and obviated her again, pushing all the magic he could into the spell. Mrs LeStrange's mouth opened and she started to drool over her blackened teeth.
"You don't remember this conversation. You remember Harry Potter coming and asking you to return the cup, to make reparations for your crimes. You remember swearing an unbreakable vow to... recover the cup from my Gringotts vault and return it the same day to Harry Potter. You swear not to attempt to escape, or harm Harry Potter, and swear to return to custody in Azkaban once Harry Potter has the cup." said Harry firmly, and ended the spell. Mrs LeStrange still looked dazed.
"Close your mouth" said Harry, and Mrs LeStrange did, and blinked and frowned.
"I'll escape" she said.
Harry nodded "The calming draught was poisoned. The antidote is exotic. You have just days to live."
"Little Shit" she swore. Harry smiled. And laughed manically. Nobody would know just this once.
...
Alastair Moody held the chain fastened around Mrs LeStrange's neck "Come on Bella, you crazy bitch, we're going shopping" growled Alastair.
The Gringotts goblins insisted on dosing Mrs LeStrange with a potion to ensure she was acting of her own free will in making a withdrawal.
Once in her vault, she snatched a golden cigarette case and ate the bezoar it held and looked smug. Harry simply smiled and shook his head.
The cup felt awful when Harry held it outside Gringotts. He put it into a cloth bag.
"Where's my antidote" said Mrs LeStrange.
Alastair Moody smiled at Harry. "Clever boy" he said.
"Well, there's not an antidote except phoenix tears" said Harry "Enjoy dying. Payback for the Longbottoms."
"Moody" said Mrs LeStrange "He's a murderer."
"He saved me from dying in a prison cell" said Alastair Moody "And I never did like any of you LeStranges. Boy's going to donate a third of the proceeds to the DMLE."
"I learnt that trick from Lucius Malfoy " said Harry politely "Donate to worthy causes, win leverage in the ministry."
"You little bastard" said Mrs LeStrange as Alastair Moody activated the portkey to take them back to the docks that led to Azkaban.
Harry took the floo from the Leaky to Hogwarts; the headmasters' office.
"One horcrux in a golden cup" said Harry, and tipped it onto the headmaster's desk.
"Helga Hufflepuff's cup" said the Headmaster sadly "The sword of Gryffindor, Harry?"
"Hat, cough it up." said Harry.
"Fine, but… Helga's cup. Who fouled her cup?" asked the Hat.
"Tom Riddle" said Harry, taking out the sword, which was a lot easier to handle now he was fifteen.
Under the blow from the sword, the cup split cleanly in half, and a black cloud came out, the shrieked in a tooth-rattling way, and left Harry and professor Dumbledore both wincing.
Fawkes woke up and trilled. Harry felt better afterwards, though he did have a vague urge to leave hot chillis on the floor. Harry suspected Fawkes's song was capable of more than just 'cheering people up.'
"Oh thanks Fawkes" said Harry honestly "That was really awful."
Professor Dumbledore held the cup back together and cast a spell. The cup fell back apart.
"Spell-o-tape or glue?" asked Harry "It'll look intact?"
"Perhaps some muggle glue, yes" said Professor Dumbledore thoughtfully.
"Superglue" said Harry "Its um, like a permanent sticking charm, in a liquid. Comes in very tiny containers, because one drop is almost always enough."
"Oh, how terribly useful" said Professor Dumbledore twinkling,"Could one… perhaps stick a goblet to table with that?"
Harry frowned and thought about that for a bit "Um... I suppose so."
Professor Dumbledore looked oddly happy at that, and handed Harry a wooden ruler "The portkey actives with 'school days' and will take you back to Privet Drive." said the Headmaster. "I think the next one will be more an Alastair and I job, than for you, young man. I do have one more that you'll have to help with."
"Have to?" asked Harry.
"An underage helper is required. Voldemort set a trap that only allows one adult wizard through… and you, while resourceful and very capable are not an adult. We can go in tandem, and defeat his trap." said Professor Dumbledore.
"When?" asked Harry.
"We'll get the next item tomorrow, so leave the sword out" said Professor Dumbledore.
"The sword goes back inside me" said the Sorting Hat indignantly "I'll keep it safe till someone needs it."