Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. The Harry Potter universe was created by JK Rowling and consequently belongs to her and her various publishers. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Note: Over the last days I had severe proplems with uploading new chapters. Sorry for the delay. There is one quote from the film 'Reality Bites'. Whoever finds it will get a virtual cookie. Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter. Also many hugs for my beta readers.
chapter two: the events leading to a fortunate outcome
Remus had spoken the truth, he was thinking about it. Constantly. The lie had been that he already knew the answer.
First and foremost, Sirius was his friend; his unfortunately very attractive friend. For five weeks Remus had postponed telling Sirius that he wouldn't, couldn't risk their friendship. Their meetings had become more and more awkward because neither of them could forget their one-night stand. Only four days ago, James had asked him directly if Sirius and he had a fight and it had taken all of Remus' power of persuasion to make him let the topic rest.
The fact that he was a werewolf was part of the problem, but not the way Sirius thought. Back in sixth year, three moons after the Incident of Which They Didn't Speak, and the first moon Remus allowed his friends to accompany him again, he had hurt Padfoot really badly. Fortunately, all of them were practised in Healing Charms, so Peter had healed Sirius' wounds and they didn't have to explain anything to Madame Pomfrey. Thanks to Sirius, Remus had learned another painful lesson, he may have forgiven Sirius but if his subconscious hadn't, the wolf wouldn't hesitate to act accordingly. If Sirius ever hurt him – and he undoubtedly would – Remus would forgive him as usual but he was afraid of what the wolf would do. Telling Sirius to stay away would be futile since the reluctant heir of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black had a remarkable lack of common sense.
Sirius; who would promise the world and believe in his pledge right until he broke it, who had turned the art of apologising without actually saying a word into an art form, and who could charm Remus only by looking at him.
Then there was this one night to consider and consider it he did. For the first time since he had started working there, Remus was actually grateful to have an incredibly dull job at a Muggle post office. He was able to do his work properly, despite his mind being otherwise occupied. His memories were blurred but clear enough to remember Sirius' lips and tongue, his teeth on his neck, his cock in his hand. Remus couldn't remember to have ever wanked more often in his life. All he really wanted to do was Floo over to Sirius' place and tell him that, yes, he, Remus Lupin, was in love with Sirius Black and wanted to be with him, no matter what. And still he faltered.
Sex was truly the quickest way to ruin friendship.
The owl arrived when Remus returned from work. Fabian and Gideon Prewett invited him to one of their infamous parties. Almost all of his friends and acquaintances were in the Order of the Phoenix, fighting death and chaos on a regular basis. Remus suspected that this was the reason the Prewetts, and sometimes even James and Sirius, gave wild parties. They all had to be reminded that life was worth living. Remus, grateful for every distraction, decided to go but knew it wasn't necessary to write a note back, since there would be numerous guests.
When Remus Apparated in front of the Prewetts' large house three days later, he was welcomed by loud laughter and the screeching music of THE WANDS. The door stood open, a sign of defiance and boldness, a reminder of happy days. Remus smiled at the sight of a chocolate frog hopping hastily out of the house.
"Oi, Moony!" called Peter from the kitchen, waving excitedly.
"Hey, Wormtail," Remus greeted his friend amiably. Peter's face was flushed from the punch he was holding and his blue robes were already blotted. He was apparently having a great time. "You still alone?"
Peter shook his head hastily. "Nah, Prongs is talking with one of the Prewett brothers – I always forget which is which – about the punch. They added something obscurely illegal you know, and Prongs wants to know what. It's great, you should have some," he said and offered his drink eagerly, spilling some of the pink fluid in the process.
"No, thanks, I'll get my own," answered Remus, thinking of Caradoc's Firewhisky and its consequences.
"More for me," said his friend and took a large mouthful before he continued. "Frank is playing some stupid drinking game with Caradoc. Well, Lily is somewhere off with Alice so you arrived just in time when I was getting bored," grinned Peter.
"And Sirius?" asked Remus before he remembered that he didn't particularly seek his other friend's company.
"Oh, he's here as well but has had his tongue in his date's throat since he arrived. Hasn't talked to me one bit," sulked Peter.
"He doesn't mean it," Remus assured him but felt the familiar pang of jealousy, which was ridiculous since he knew that Sirius was never long without a girl and switched them as often as his robes. He decided on the spot to tell Sirius tonight.
"Remember Sinistra Clearwater?" asked Peter, disrupting his thoughts.
"Sure."
"She is here, too, and still damn pretty. I wished I had a chance," said Peter, slightly miserably. Remus looked at his chubby and rather plain friend and felt pity for him.
"C'mon Pete, she's all looks and such. She couldn't appreciate you. Let's get more drinks, yeah?"
Peter smiled gratefully and they made their way to the punch without being stepped on once. The music was deafening, the guests were exuberant and even the food was good. For about half an hour, Remus enjoyed himself but then he made the mistake of leaving the kitchen and going into the adjacent living room, where his eyes fell on a familiar figure indulging in a good snog. Sirius! Well, this had to be expected. What did not have to be expected was the fact that Sirius' date was another bloke. Remus felt the colour draining from his face and there was suddenly an empty place where his stomach had been. Still, he couldn't stop staring.
Remus didn't know the other man. From what he could see he had curly dirty blond hair and was very attractive. All of Sirius' dates had been attractive. (Except the one time in fifth year when James dared him to go out with Rosa Bulstrode.) One arm was slung around Sirius' shoulder while his other hand rested on Sirius' hip and was therefore entirely too close to places his hands should never be.
"Disgusting, isn't it?" asked a female voice next to him. Remus turned his head and saw the beautiful shape of Sinistra Clearwater. Her brow was furrowed in disapproval, which made her not so pretty. "Two blokes going at it in public, it's abnormal. I almost dated Black when I was still in Hogwarts. The mere thought makes me sick now, I can assure you."
Remus didn't know what to say. Clearwater had obviously mistaken his look for disapproval. Well, on second thought she hadn't, only his motives were different from hers. He was still in shock, so he just gaped at her. Sirius was dating a guy. Sirius was dating a guy!
And that's when Remus Lupin learned another painful lesson taught by Sirius Black. He really couldn't stand seeing Sirius kissing another man. It hurt. It hurt more than ever watching him with girls. While the beautiful woman beside him went on ranting about how disgusting Sirius and his date were, he realised that all his reasoning had been a lot of airy crap. He wanted Sirius.
"Excuse me, you're Sinistra Clearwater, aren't you?" he asked brusquely because it was enough.
"Why-, yes, I am." She looked surprised.
"You are the most beautiful woman I ever met," Remus said and a smug smile flickered over her face. "But that doesn't matter because you are also the stupidest woman I ever met. Whatever they are doing is not disgusting, so please do me a favour and shut the fuck up, will you?" It was her turn to gape at him. "Thank you," he smiled coolly and turned away to resume staring at the last thing he wanted to see.
The pain he was feeling must have been written all over his face because when Sirius looked up for a moment and saw him he froze. Remus couldn't hear him, the music and the voices were too loud, but he saw his lips forming his name. The guy, whose arm was still slung over Sirius' shoulder, noticed him as well and Remus had never felt so naked in his life. He did the only reasonable thing; he turned on his heels and left.
Remus made it to the door before Sirius caught up with him. His friend gripped his shoulder and forced him to stop.
"Moony, I--"
"It's alright. I'm leaving." Remus looked up at Sirius, who was slightly taller, and wondered when his life had become a play.
"No, you're not," said Sirius roughly, his jaw set, his grey eyes glinting with something Remus couldn't decipher. Not that he had ever been good at reading Sirius.
"Excuse me," slurred a drunken witch and pressed herself past them. Sirius took his arm and dragged him into the garden, not minding Lily and Alice calling after them.
"Well?" asked Sirius after he let him go under a large oak tree.
Remus rubbed his arm, his mind working fervently. What was he supposed to say?
"Remus?"
"What do you want me to say?" asked Remus sharply.
"Let me think," started Sirius, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "You don't talk to me properly for weeks, because you don't have the balls to tell me that to you, this night has been a big mistake. Then you come here and look at me as if I committed adultery and gelded you at the same time. I'd really like to know the truth. What the hell do you want from me, Remus?" Sirius had been walking irately up and down in front of him and was now staring him down, breathing heavily.
Remus could have said that he wanted guaranteed happiness and friendship, wanted the knowledge that nothing would go wrong, that nothing would change. He could have said that he didn't want Sirius to snog every beautiful body that moved, neither man nor woman, because it hurt every bloody time.
Instead he said, "You."
Sirius gaped at him, dumbfounded. His grey eyes were moist and seemed huge in the darkness. His thick black hair, the silky hair Remus loved to touch, was dishevelled from the hands of another man.
"Look," said Remus to end the silence, "I still think that it isn't a good idea and frankly, I know that either you or I will mess this u-"
Sirius moved very fast, almost stumbled into him, and broke his monologue with a kiss. He held his face between his hands, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs, as if Remus was the most precious thing he ever had. The kiss was a little desperate, but sweetened by the words it replaced. Sirius' tongue licked over his lips and explored his mouth, pressing in urgently. Remus forgot what he had wanted to say, it didn't seem to be important anyway. His arms slid around Sirius' waist, his hands found their way up his friend's back. Sirius moaned, his teeth nipped at Remus' lower lip and he sucked on it gently before he ended this kiss. Remus looked at him, completely dazed.
"You really mean it?" Sirius asked throatily. "It's not just a spur of the moment decision you're going to take back? It's not just because you didn't like me kissing Dave?"
The name ended his stupor abruptly. "Dave?"
"Yes, he has a name but no, he doesn't matter," answered Sirius dismissively. They still stood very close and Remus could smell smoke, dog and Sirius' aftershave.
"Why?" asked Remus. It wasn't necessary to elaborate.
Sirius shot him a scrutinising glance and grunted huffily. "Because you were busy persuading yourself that we were a bad idea. I…I never dated blokes before 'cause I was waiting for you. And now that I had you and you still didn't want me I thought it…you know, it was time to--"
"I love you," said Remus, surprised how easily the words came out and how right they felt. Sirius made a strange strangled noise and pressed their lips together once more. He slightly tasted of alcohol and chicken wings, in other words better than the last time they had kissed. Somehow, Remus found himself pressed against the tree and Sirius' warm and hard body leaned against him. Remus' hands developed a life of their own, grabbing, touching and roaming wherever they could. That's how it always was with Sirius, whether he was smiling or raging, sulking or kissing him. He made Remus let go.
They were both getting carried away, fumbling with each other's robes, trying to get them off, when they heard a twig snapping, followed by girly giggles. Sirius raised an eyebrow.
"My place," whispered Remus. It was only fair. Sirius bestowed a roguish grin on him and kissed him hard on the mouth before they Disapparated.
"What about Dave?" asked Remus between kisses, hastily peeling the dark red robes from Sirius' gorgeous body.
"He can have it off with someone else," mumbled Sirius into the juncture between Remus' neck and shoulder, before biting down and making Remus moan. Hearing the words was satisfying and Remus felt euphoric. This was Sirius in his arms! Their robes were discarded where they stood and both were a little breathless when they made it to the bed.
The room lay in darkness and there was a lot of accidental bumping of elbows and knees before Remus managed to light the candles on his bed stand. When he turned his head his breath hitched. Candlelight flattered everyone but it made Sirius downright irresistible. Shadows moved over his handsome face, accentuating his sensuous lips, his immaculate neck, the perfect chest.
"Will you come over here already?" Sirius asked in a husky voice, his eyes hungry and directed on him. His body reacted immediately.
"Eager, aren't you?" smirked Remus but skidded over very quickly. Lying side by side, they pressed against each other as close as possible. Lips crushed together, limbs were entangled, hips were ground together. Remus pressed open-mouthed kisses on Sirius' neck, savouring the salty taste and the moans of pleasure they evoked.
"Wanted this for so long," whispered Sirius urgently and pulled Remus into another bone-melting kiss while his hand found his way to Remus' ass, urging him closer and thrusting into the contact.
Right then and there Remus decided that this time, he would make it right. This wasn't going to be an unfortunate accident and he wouldn't let Sirius out of bed for a long time.
fin
I really hope you liked it. Please let me know what you think and review!
Note: In terms of plot this is where this story ends. I'm going to write a third chapter of adult content for LJ. Whoever is interested and old enough may check my LJ over the next week. Cheers!