Disclaimer: I do not own Family Guy, any of the characters therein. I also do not own Adult Swim, FOX, or TBS (yeah, they play it there, too). I do not own Eminem, and I don't own any of his songs.
Monkey In My Closet
Have you ever seen hate
From a tiny primate like this?
I have that little monkey,
He scares me out of my wits
Evil shines in his little eyes
That monkey's my
Sleepless night and cautious day hyperactivity drive
I get this notion emotions just send him into convulsions
But no one's carin' I'm bearin' this fear of him on my shoulders
I have done nothing to no one, gives me hell long as he's breathing
Scaring my ass in the morning, still scaring me in the evening
Growling at me with those super sharp ass teeth in his mouth
Points his finger at me, man I'll never figure it out
Looks at me now, he's prob'ly trying to get to me now!
Help me mama! I asked you, but hell, I am begging you now!
Please help me mama
He's gonna try to hurt me
He's gonna try to make me cry
Through the night
That monkey in my closet
One more time
I said
Please help me mama
He's gonna try to hurt me
He's gonna try to make me cry
Through the night
That monkey in my closet
Most kids see monsters inside their closet
But they can just go and close it
This monkey's gonna put me in a coffin, I know it
Not hard to show it, I wonder why he's fin' with me
I never ever did nothing to that stupid ass monkey
Why not the baby? He always has some big guns, swords and bombs
My fat ass father even, or maybe my retarded mom
I got it! Meg, that dumb girl, no one would miss her! Alright!
Hey, I know she's my sister but I really don't want to die
I see that monkey and I just imagine how I might die
And if I evaded him, he'd just show up and I'd die anyway
Another way, like when we moved to Chinatown
A Chinese version of him was waitin' for me on the street with those sharp teeth
Now, I know I'm stupid
No doubt that I'm dumb
But I do know I see that monkey, and when I see him I run
Cause he will kill me, hell, he'd prob'ly kill Meg and me both
Family Guy
Who the hell came up with this violent ass show?
Please help me mama
He's gonna try to hurt me
He's gonna try to make me cry
Through the night
That monkey in my closet
One more time
I said
Please help me mama
He's gonna try to hurt me
He's gonna try to make me cry
Through the night
That monkey in my closet
Now, I'd never make up a monkey just to get some attention
Take a second to listen 'fore you think it's just superstition
Put your self in my position, just try to envision
Witnessin' your closet taken with a monkey bent on killin'
Wishin' that you could just go to sleep and one day he'll be gone but
Realizing that that's just a dream and that dream it's so far and all
The nightmares, made me believe I was dyin' when I wasn't
First I threw up, then I blew up and woke up sick to my stomach, cussin'
Why don't you ever listen to or believe in me ma?
Cause I could really use the peace from you relievin' me ma!
Cause guess what? His woman left him now, so he's old and he's lonely
And that just gives him more time to plot about how he's gon' throw me
Off of a building or cliff, spike all my food with Albuterol
'Til I overdose, then he'd prob'ly laugh at my funeral!
You see, what scares me the most is that he is there all night long
He's like Killer Kong, how can you not help me? How can you mom?
Cause he scares me when he growls at me starts to throw fits
And shake his fists, I hope he burns in monkey hell for that (stuff)
You remember all the laughs and times that you had with me?
Well there done. Cause I'm dead because of that monkey!
Please help me mama
He's gonna try to hurt me
He's gonna try to make me cry
Through the night
That monkey in my closet
One more time
I said
Please help me mama
He's gonna try to hurt me
He's gonna try to make me cry
Through the night
That monkey in my closet