Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam SEED. Any similarities that this fic might have to anything are purely coincidental.
Volume 1 Issue 4
Message from the Editor
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Another week, another issue. We're still following the cursed ship, the Archangel. The Desert Tiger finally meets his demise, as well as the Morassim Team. There's a new team in hot pursuit of the jinxed ship, two guesses who it could be! For our feature section, Miss Murrue Ramius' entries seem to be getting angrier and angrier every time! And for 'ASK FLAY', even though some readers find it less than amusing and helpful, I'm sorry but Miss Flay Allster signed a contract. We're stuck with her, unfortunately. And for those who like it, well, here's good news for you! You can send in your letters to mumyou (underscore) nanashi (at) yahoo (dot) com (dot) ph. For those anxious about Orga's column, the wait is over! Mr. Sabnak will be reviewing a piece from Miss C-Town Chica, a very talented author, if I do say so myself. Well, we were supposed to have an interview with the Princess of Orb, Cagalli Yula Athha, but she seems to be AWOL. The same goes for one of our regular columnists, Miss Aisha Waltfeld. She hasn't been reporting for work and her duties are piling up! For comments, suggestions, contributions, etc. please leave a review of send me an e-mail!
Well, as always, I would like to thank our dear readers! Thank you for supporting this newspaper!
PS. To Miss (?) Sinful Tears, I apologize for giving you the erroneous e-mail address. I was not aware that the .ph was relevant. Please send in your letters at the above-mentioned e-mail add. We'll be waiting patiently for it. Thank you!
NEWS
DESERT TIGER KILLED IN ACTION DURING ENCOUNTER WITH CURSED SHIP
by Mayura Labatt
Commander Andrew Waltfeld, more commonly known as the 'Desert Tiger', was killed in action during a fight with a mobile suit of the cursed Earth Alliance ship, the Archangel.
After almost two weeks of hostilities, the Archangel's curse seems to have finally rubbed off on the Desert Tiger. According to reports, the Waltfeld Team was completely wiped out. However two members of the Le Creuset team who were asked to assist the Waltfeld Team, Yzak Joule and Dearka Elthman, had survived the battle.
They were unavailable for comment as the blond Coordinator was busy calming down his silver-haired comrade who kept on cursing someone named, "Stu-raiko."
The Archangel is now headed to Alaska via the Red Sea. Anyone within that vicinity, civilians and soldiers alike, are advised to stay clear from the dreaded ship's path.
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MORASSIM TEAM WIPED OUT AFTER ENGAGING CURSED SHIP INTO BATTLE
by Shani Andras
After the Desert Tiger, the Morassim Team was the next victim to fall prey to the Archangel's wings. Headed by Commander Marco Morassim, the entire team was annihilated without a single trace.
"Well, I did warn him, you know," Commander Rau Le Creuset sneered. It was reported that Le Creuset was the one who informed Morassim that the Archangel was headed their way. Morassim was advised to damage that Archangel and not get killed in the way, so instead of a medal, he is being searched for failure to carry out orders…even though he is technically dead.
The Archangel's course is predicted to pass through Orb.
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LE CREUSET CALLED BACK TO THE PLANTs, NEW TEAM LEADER MISSING
by Juri Wu Nien
Commander Rau Le Creuset, Order of the Nebula awardee and current leader of the Le Creuset Team designated to pursue the Archangel, was reportedly called back to the PLANTs by National Defense Committee and ZAFT Head, Patrick Zala.
In line with this, a new team was formed consisting of the original members of the Le Creuset Team and headed by Patrick Zala's son, Athrun Zala. The Zala Team is now the assigned hunter of the Archangel.
Several complaints about the rearrangement of the team were reported to have come from Yzak Joule and Dearka Elthman. Outbursts of "suck up" and the like were heard in their sleeping quarters. Captain Zala was advised to watch out for impending coup d'etat's.
However, on Zala's first day as the team captain, he was reported missing prior to their transfer to ZAFT Carpentaria Base. Any individual with information regarding Captain Athrun Zala's whereabouts are encouraged to come forward.
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ZALA RUNS FOR SUPREME COUNCIL CHAIRMAN
by Crot Buer
Patrick Zala, current Head of ZAFT and the National Defense Committee and co-founder of the Zodiac Alliance now known as ZAFT, announced yesterday that he would be running for Chairman of the Supreme Council of the PLANTs in the upcoming elections.
His friend and ZAFT co-founder, Siegel Clyne, also expressed his desire to be re-elected as Chairman. But as Senator Zala puts it, the neither the campaign nor the election would put a dent in their strong friendship. Chairman Clyne also confirmed Senator Zala's statement.
And this will, by no means, affect the upcoming Clyne-Zala nuptials. Lacus Clyne is behind her father 100 and has started recording campaign jingles. Athrun Zala, however, was not available for comment.
ADVERSTISEMENTS
FOR SALE: Quaint little coffee shop with a BIG, white mansion behind it. Used to belong to a famous war veteran. Interested parties may contact Martin DaCosta.
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MISSING: Anyone who has seen a blonde girl who looks like a boy, please call Ledonir Kisaka at the Archangel. She was last seen fighting in a Skygrasper. Please contact me. Without her, I might as well say goodbye to my ORB Citizenship and Retirement Plan.
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Got a nasty scar you want removed but don't have the time? That's easy! Use ZAFT Scar Removing Cream. It's simple as 1-2-3! Just apply it and in two years time (by the time SEED Destiny unfolds, for that matter), you're sure to get results! It's magic!
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MISSING: Athrun Zala. Blue hair and green eyes. Last seen falling down the ground in breakneck speed inside a Mobile Suit that can't fly. Contact his able subordinate (who has more sense in his supposedly thick skull than to get lost on his very first day as the new team commander), Yzak Joule at the Carpentaria Base. (On second thought, don't contact me! Maybe if Athrun really gets lost, I'll be the new commander!)
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In need of jumpsuits with flattering colors for infiltration purposes? Looking for scuba suits that are appropriate for long-distance diving? How about fake I.D.'s to ensure you're entrance to any compound? Then come visit us here at the SPY DIVISION of the ORB Military! We have everything, and we do mean everything that you might need for all your top secret needs!
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(To the tune of "HAPPY"… You know, "Happy… (shalalala)! It's so nice to be happy!")
Patrick! Zala-lala… You gotta vote for Patrick! Zala-lala…
VOTE ZALA FOR CHAIRMAN!
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Anyone who can tell us the whereabouts of Miss Aisha Waltfeld is encouraged to contact this newspaper ASAP. Anyone who can recommend someone who can replace her is also encouraged to contact us. We'll be waiting…
FEATURE
HOW TO SURVIVE MILITARY LIFE
By Murrue Ramius
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Like every other human being on earth (or in space), the crew and I had our fair share of ups and downs for this week. Good news first, we managed to kill the Desert Tiger! Yeah! That's what he got for ever messing with the black ship of the EA! Although, Kira has been moping around more than usual… I think he's about to snap. What the hell's the matter with him? He should be freakin' happy we managed to get out of that one in one piece! The Bad News: Natarle, well, she's still PMSing. Go figure. I don't know what's the freaking matter with her but she's always contradicting my decisions! Who's the CAPTAIN anyway? If she doesn't like how I run things here, she'd better start swimming to Alaska and ask for a transfer. The nerve of that flat-chested woman! And then there's that team that's been chasing us! When will they stop? They already have four of the GAT-X Mobile Suits and still they want their grubby Coordinator paws on the Strike? Talk about selfish! I swear, they're becoming more and more annoying each and every time we encounter each other. Why won't our curse rub off on them? I've just noticed something, ah, disturbing. Flay seems to become more and more attached to Kira and more and more (for lack of a better term) deranged. Security cameras have shown her in her bras saying over and over again that the ship won't sink because Kira will protect her. Ego much, huh? Well, I really can't complain since Kira's been performing (read: killing) more efficiently, ever since he's been swamped by girls. So for this week's lesson, I suggest:
E - ncourage
V - ile and
I – rritating
L - ady (?)
T - o be
R - escued
I - diotically and
C - oncernedly by
K - ira
EVIL TRICKS! If you want your subordinates to follow you, or more specifically, if you want Kira to kill for you, you have to resort to this schemes! Thanks to Flay, we'll still be safe! Hooray! But if Kira disappears or gets KIA, I'll kick Flay out of the ship, she's too…-evil-… for my tastes! I very well can't keep her around if she's planning to overthrow me! And I have a feeling that that's -exactly- what she wants… The Archangel is -mine-! No one can take it away from me!
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ASK FLAY
(This is a no-nonsense, straight-to-the-point advice column by Flay Allster)
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So, someone doesn't like my column, huh? Well, too bad for you, punk! I got a contract with this newspaper! Unless I get kidnapped or roasted in a fire while riding an escape shuttle, you won't get a new advice columnist! HAHAHAHA! On a more cheerful note, at least other people have shown an interest in my advice-giving skills. OF COURSE, you may send in your letters. Just e-mail them at mumyounanashi (at) yahoo (dot) com. OR you can include it in your review!
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Dear Flay,
Normally, I don't write to columns such as these. Ugh. I don't even read them. I just heard some guys down at the factory talk about it. You can tell that I'm very, very desperate. I don't know who to talk to! I mean, most of the guys I know are, well, -guys-! And I don't really want to talk about this to anyone. They might think I cracked or something. Everyone thinks that I'm a tomboyish brat and well, maybe I am! Well, moving on... I got stuck with a guy on an island a couple days back. No, nothing happened. Well, something did happen; actually, I tried to kill him. It was kind of romantic, really. The fighter jet that I was flying crashed on some deserted island. And I met this amazing, wonderful, funny, good-looking, drool-worthy, intelligent guy. He tried to kill me at first (since we're sort of enemies), but when he found out I was a girl, he stopped. Yeah! He actually though I was a BOY! Argh! How many times do I have to tell everyone that I'm a girl! You know, that just pisses me off! Anyway, we talked about some nonsense stuff, and then I tried to kill him. Well, to cut a long story short, we became sort of friends (but we're still kind of enemies because we belong to different sides). I think I like him.
Tomboyish Brat
PS. You think you can lay off Cagalli a little, she's really nice once you get to know her. She, um, told me that there was no way in hell she would go for someone as crybaby-like as Kira.
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Dear Tomboyish Brat,
That's not a very good first impression you made there, I just wish you wouldn't do it again. A lot of people are getting affected (in a bad way) by this war. It kind of holds personal lives on hold, right? So, what you have to do is get him to join your side. It's that simple. If you tried to kill him and you like him, and he tried to kill you, too, it must mean that he likes you too! Get my logic? Stick to this guy and if you see him again, don't ever let him out of your sight! That kind of guy is hard to come by nowadays!
Love,
Flay
PS. If you please, I would like to keep my personal life in private. Who I hate is up to me; it's not that I hate Cagalli because it looks like she likes Kira. I just freaking hate her! Leave me alone, if you still want me to answer your stupid questions! And you wouldn't want to make me mad either!
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Dear Flay,
It's Aegis again. I promised to keep you updated so here. Strike, my fiancée-stealing, comrade-killing 'friend', is still alive. It's kind of a touchy subject for me and I don't feel like talk – er – writing about it. Anyway, I feel kind of guilty... You see, I got stranded on a deserted island with an enemy. Worse, she was a girl! Well, you might scoff and say, "So?" and tell me to do the Flay-thing to do: sleep with her to make her do my biddings! Gods! But she was so pretty and if ever I did sleep with her, it might be -me- who would end up doing what her heart desires. You can say that I'm pretty love-struck as of now. At first, I thought she was a boy! We tried to shoot each other's head off and she got me on the shoulder. Now, if I wasn't so gung-ho about her, I'd get annoyed. How could a supposed civilian-girl manage to shoot me on the shoulder? Anyway, I managed to turn the situation to my advantage and the end result was, I landed on top of her. I was going for the kill when she screamed and that was when I realized it was incredibly high-pitched for a boy and that my arm was on top of something soft. She was a girl! I tied her up and I didn't notice how pretty she was until I saw her standing in the rain. I think I'm going insane just thinking about it! She looked so…feminine! I undid her bindings and even gave her food. The rest was a blur… Her trying to kill me again, me threatening to kill her too… a blur I tell you! (I think it I owe it to the fact that I was so freaking tired…) The next day, we split paths as our respective transports arrived. Something tells me we'll meet again. I feel confused. My fiancée is pretty and more lady-like than the brash, tomboyish girl I met on that island. As much as I would like to celebrate over finally finding the possible love of my life, my rational side forces me to confront certain issues. Am I having gay tendencies? I mean, how could I possibly forget about my fiancée because of -her-? I'm so confused…
Hope you could -finally- help me this time…
Aegis
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Dear Aegis,
Okay, I'll ignore your and Strike's differences for the mean time. That's a very difficult question. Although, if we look at it logically, we'll get the answer that you're hoping for. Boyish though this girl might be, she's still, through and through, a female. It didn't seem that you liked her the instant you saw her, you liked her -after- you knew she was, in fact, a she. So, I don't think you're having gay tendencies. It would be a shame if you turned out to be gay, you seem so cute! Anyway, we'll see in the future. Good luck to your blossoming relationship. Even if you didn't ask for it, I'm sure that you're thinking, "How can we get together if we belong to different sides?" Stop worrying! The answer is so simple! Why don't you join -their- side? It would also help if you could suck up to her father a little. I mean, that's what Sai did. I hope I -finally- helped you!
Love,
Flay
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Dear Flay,
Waaah! I've been crying since last night! My boyfriend, Calamity, decided that we should 'lie low for a while' because of his genocidal boss. Why can't he defend our love for once! Between his new column for this shitty, sorry little magazine and harsher training, I'm not so sure I fit in his life anymore. Doesn't he love me anymore? I'm afraid to make him choose. What do I do?
Yours truly,
Soon-to-be-the-ex-future Mrs. Calamity
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Dear Soon-to-be-the-ex-future Mrs. Calamity,
I'm getting ready for a 'date' with Kira and can't think straight, so I decided to forward your letter to our new columnist and a good friend of mine, Orga Sabnak.
This is his advice: "Your boyfriend's a loser, girl. Away on training, my butt! Why don't you give him a dose of his own medicine? This war can be beneficial for you. Join the opposing side and kick his ass in the battlefield! That way, he'll regret ignoring his little girlfriend for the rest of his life!"
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FANFIC REVIEW
By Orga Sabnak
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Photographs of War
by C-Town Chica
For this week's issue, I will be reviewing C-Town Chica's 'Photographs of War.'
It's a nice change from all the 'shonen-ai' stuff that's been swimming around in the section. Don't get me wrong, I'm not dissing those yaoi supporters. To each his own, as I always say. But I'm bloody, goddamn straight (thank you very much) so I don't enjoy those types...
Back to the review. I have no qualms whatsoever about Dearka-Miriallia fics, but you should try making fics about me and Asagi sometimes!
Photographs of War is about Miriallia and her life after the war. After the war, she and Dearka got separated and is currently living alone as a photographer. Due to her profession, she becomes a target of a politician (can't say who, I don't know if I'm allowed to give spoilers…) and one of her former shipmates is ordered to kill her. But that certain shipmate does not carry out the order and instead sends her to his friend for her safety. It's still unfinished at the moment, so come on Chica!
Plot is everything in a fic... well, almost everything. For this fic, it's fairly easy to follow. It has a nice touch of mystery. I think it's for all audiences...if you ignore the slight violence. The fight scenes are fairly acceptable and believable. It's interesting to see Athrun's, Yzak's and, especially, Dearka's dilemma. Will they continue helping Miriallia even if it means disobeying a direct order from a superior? And how will Dearka and Miriallia get together while a war is unfolding in their very eyes? What about Athrun and Miriallia? I think you're trying to start something here, Chica… Well, some people managed to do it in the series... As I said, it's still in progress, so I can't say much for the ending. Hopefully, this will have a happy one.
Now let's go to the more technical aspects of the fic. Nobody's perfect, as they say. Typographical errors are sometimes negligible. Grammatical errors, however, could be avoided. I'd advise you to use all caps for abbreviations like ZAFT, PLANTs and other such words. And you should use a comma after speech instead of periods, for example: "Coordinators should go to hell," Azrael said insanely. Question marks and exclamation points are used as they are. And something kind of bothers me; Miriallia is using -films- for her camera. I think it would be appropriate for her to use a digital camera (the professional kind). She's using one in Destiny, and because of the timeline, films would be more likely to be extinct.
I'm looking forward to the future chapters and I sincerely hope that Dearka and Miriallia end up together on this fic!
Next issue: Well, aside from C-Town Chica, nobody seems to trust me to review their fic. So I might be criticizing one of the editor's fics until someone brave enough decides to submit his/her fic!
MESSAGE BOARD
To Mwu La Flaga a.k.a. the -Chicken- of Endymion,
Stop flooding the message board with your idiotic threats (sneer).
Rau Le Creuset
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Tell my mom, Heinz (Tomato Ketchup) Westen-fluke, and you'll wish you've never been born. Wow! I really AM improving! If it was the old me, I'd have punched the guy straight in the face! And now, I've resorted to bad name-calling and giving out not-so-empty threats! Cool!
From Yzak Joule
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Lord Uzumi,
I regret to inform you that Cagalli is missing. She forced the head mechanic to allow her to fly the spare Skygrasper to aid the Strike, despite the fact that during her first ever flight, she barely, just barely, flew out of death's clutches. We lost the signal from her Skygrasper and we haven't received any distress signals. Don't worry; we're currently searching the oceans for any sign of her.
Kisaka
PS. I hope this doesn't affect my Pension Plan in any way…
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Commander Le Creuset,
We're sorry you couldn't get any word out of what we were reporting, so we decided to just write to you. It's just that the one you chose to take over the team has been missing! Hahahaha! On his very first day! What a moron! What a complete moron! Yes, we would most likely capture the legged ship now! NOT. HAHAHAHAHA! We -TOLD- you, you should've chosen one of us as team leader, but -no-... you chose ATHRUN! Just because you wanted to suck up to Representative Zala… Anyway, Nicol's out there looking for Athrun.
Dearka and Yzak
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Athrun,
Well, it wasn't like I had a choice! -She- undressed in front of me! I never forced her to! Pink-chan has a hidden camera! Wow! You're sure getting better in devising annoying robots… Anyway, I'm still not joining your team. I heard your annoying teammate got a scar? Hah! That's what he got for shooting that innocent escape pod. (I knew I should've insisted Sai to board that…) And haven't you heard? I'm going out with Flay Allster now! At least I -THINK- I am…
Kira
PS. Have you seen a blonde girl who looks like a boy who looks a lot like me, but a me with blonde hair and amber eyes and is a girl? If you have, well, can I bother you to take care of her? I -DID- take care of Lacus…
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To Dearka, Yzak, and Nicol,
Well, seeing as my comm isn't working… I'm safe here in an uncharted island. Yzak, don't even -THINK- of staging a coup d' etat! And Dearka! Stop giving Yzak those dumb ideas! Nicol, you're the only one I can count on. And if you start getting any ideas of joining Yzak and Dearka, remember that I was the only one who attended your slumber party, I mean, your concert.
Athrun
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To the Archangel,
I'm safe, so you better not be declaring me MIA or else! As I said, I'm safe here with a totally cool and cute guy! So there! I'll be waiting for your rescue team!
Cagalli
SEED WEEKLY STAFF
Editor-in-chief: mumyou nanashi
News Editor: Ledonir Kisaka
Feature Editor: Erika Simmons
Writers: Shani Andras
Crot Buer
Asagi Caldwell
Juri Wu Nien
Mayura Labatt
Regular Columnists: Murrue Ramius
Flay Allster
Aisha Waltfeld
Orga Sabnak (finally, gundamnit!)