Sora walked into the seaside shack where he found Riku. "Hey Riku, look what I can do!" Sora put his tongue into his nose, growled like a chimpanzee, and farted his A,B,Cs all at the same time. "What the hell is wrong with you?" shouted Riku. He ran out of the shack and hit his head against a poapu tree. "I should show Kairi this!" Sora left the shack and found Kairi in the secret place. "Kairi, guess what I can do!" "What?" Sora showed her his hidden talent and Kairi passed out. "Hey Sora, what's going on." Tidus said as he entered the cave. Sora pulled down his pants and farted in Tidus's face. Tidus immediately dropped dead on the floor. Sora then walked out of the cave and got hit in the head by a coconut.
"Ooh, flesh, lets eat him!" "Yah" Wakka and Selphie started eating Sora until Leon came. He pointed his gun at Wakka. "Wakka, you're Jamaican, I hate Jamaicans." He shot Wakka in the face. "And you Selphie, well, I just hate your face." He then shot Selphie in the face. "Wow Leon, thanks for saving me!" shouted Sora. "No problem kid, now get out of my face or I'll be hanging your face on the wall above my fireplace." Leon whistled and summoned a flying pig and got on and flew away until he got shot down by a terrorist gang led by the pure evil ruler, Vivi.
2 days later, Sora woke up in somebody else's room. He couldn't remember anything. He looked next to him and saw a blond haired girl. None of them were wearing clothes. The room was all white. "I slept with someone other than Kairi. I must be a slut!" He started to remember. He and Riku went to Disneyland for a vacation. They went on the ride "It's a small world after all" and fell into the water where they found a hidden bar. He and Riku had about 50 glasses of beer each and then got severely drunk. They then met 2 hot girls; one named Namine and the other named Aerith. Riku went with Aerith and Sora went with Namine. Namine, who never became drunk, used Soras' drunkenness to her advantage of having hot and brutal sex. They then stripped naked and the rest was blurry.
Sora got off the bed and saw Roxas tied to the table. Roxas was naked. "Hi Roxas!" "Why did you do that to me Sora, why?" Roxas' eyes were bloodshot and he had fear in his voice. Sora didn't want to start to think about what Roxas was doing here or what he meant. Sora was about to call Kairi on his cell phone, when Namine woke up. "Sora, why don't you come back to bed with me, I have a gift I want to give you." "No, I really think I should get back home." "No, You should come back to BED!" "No, I really should…" "Get into the DAMN bed, you slut!" "Okay, I'm comin'." Sora then crawled into the bed and got on top of Namine like she told him to.
"Where are we?" Mickey mouse, Donald duck, Goofy, Daisy duck, Minnie mouse, Jiminy cricket, Pluto, and Pete were in this weird room with blood stains on the wall. A voice could be heard from somewhere. "Hello, you people may not know who I am, but I sure as hell know who you are." "What do you want?" asked Minnie mouse. "I wanna play a game. You all are parts of new hit television shows- Survivor, Unan1mous, and Lost. You people will be aired on a survivor version of lost, which everyone will have to make an unanimous decision on who lives. Sounds like fun, right, well, enjoy." The room turned into an island.
Riku turned on the television and went to the channel FOX. "Now it is time for our season premiere of LOST: WITH DISNEY CHARACTERS." "I hate this show."
Namine was still forcing Sora to be a concubine. She also enjoyed watching Sora and Roxas Yoai. But after a month of being captured, Sora and Roxas finally knew how to be free. They took knives and stabbed themselves in areas so uncomfortable that I won't include what they were. They figured that if they couldn't have sex, Namine would set them free. But she was smarter than that. Since they couldn't have sex, they were of no use to her anymore so she threw them into the fiery pits of hell were they died of sunburn. She then captured a girl named Olette and took her as a concubine. For some strange reason though, Olette kind of liked it.
2 more days went by and everything came back to normal and everyone forgot what happened. "Hey Kairi, look at this porn movie I made, it's an anal film between me, Riku, and Roxas. Want to watch?" Kairi thought that he asked her if she wanted to watch The Lion King, so she said yes. Once the movie started, Kairi passed out from what she was seeing. "You like it, Yayyyy!" Sora then jumped out the window from the top floor of his house and landed on the sand where he was eaten by a hermit crab.
"Hm, we have survive on this island, this should be easy!" yelled Pete. Pete then spontaneously combusted. "What are the odds of another one of us dying? I mean, were safe, right?" asked Minnie. A shark then leapt out of the water, got hit by a boulder, the boulder got crushed by a foot, and the foot had a random heart attack. "Yeah, we're safe." Said Daisy. Daisy then got crushed by the Statue of Liberty. "Time for the National Anthem!" yelled Donald. "O say can you see, by the dawn's ear…." The island exploded.
Sora, Kairi, and Riku went to the book store. They were looking for Playboy magazines (requested by their parents) but they didn't know where to look. Sora asked the store clerk. "Ma'am, do you know where the playboy magazines are?" "How old are you, you know that those are intended for adults, right?" "I'm 15, woohoo!" "Ah, good enough. Here you go." Sora thanked her and walked to Riku and Kairi. "Here are your parent's porn, Yay!" "Woohoo." "Security, security, kids buying porn, get them." A guy with spiky, yellow hair and a big sword fell from the ceiling. "You guys are buying porn? Why didn't you ask me? I'm a sexy beast." He began to strip off his clothes. "Riku, Kairi, let's run." "No, you guys go ahead. I want to be punished for being bad." Kairi said as she had a smile on her face. Sora and Riku ran out of the store but blew up because their magazines were time bombs.
5 days passed and since they are idiots, they forgot about the past events that happened. "Let's have a farting contest!" yelled Sora. "Yeah!" yelled Riku and Kairi together. "Winner get's to share a poapu fruit with someone." said Riku "Yeah!" Riku went first. His fart lasted for 12.8 seconds, but wasn't that loud or smelly. Kairi went second. When she farted, she killed Tidus who was just walking, minding his own business, Tidus's body knocked into Sora causing him to fall and drown in the ocean, and then their bodies exploded by a bomb sent by the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. Since the fart was better than Riku's and Sora died, Kairi won the poapu fruit. She shared it with a rock and started making out with it and telling it that she loved it. When she started stripping off her clothes for it, Riku decided he seen enough and he killed himself by stabbing himself with a coconut. It took at least 5 hours for it to kill him when it was jammed in his stomach which made him feel extreme pain.
2 days passed and Kairi and the rock had kids and decided to get married. But then rock left Kairi for a woman named Yuffie. They then had 5 kids and were inseperatable until rock met a hotter woman. Kairi decided to go to the beach but blew up by a land mine.
Sora, Kairi, and Wakka went to an opera.( Riku died of constipation and Wakka threatened to do something to Sora that Kairi would not like if they didn't bring him.) "Welcome to The Hobo of the Opera." The show will never start because you will all be slaughtered by the fat guy in the corner. "Hi Pence!" shouted Sora. It was Pence, but it seemed like he had too much sea-salt ice-cream. Pence jumped up, ate everyone besides Sora and Kairi, and then farted to death. The poisonous gas reached Sora and Kairi and they made out with each other until they were eaten by a mutant squirrel.
"I'm hungry." "I don't care." "I'm hungry." "Shut up." "I'm hungry" "Let me freaking draw this damn picture and SHUT THE HELL UP BEFORE I TAKE AWAY YOUR FREAKING HEAD WITH THIS COLORED PENCIL!" "Waah! Namine doesn't like me!" Roxas burst into tears and jumped out of the window. He must've forgotten that they were on the 13 floor of Castle Oblivion. "Damn, who will I have sex with now?" "There's always me." Said Marluxia. "Oh well, sure!"
Axel and Demyx were riding a bus to Detroit, Michigan. "The Yankees are gonna win!" shouted Demyx. "Demyx, were going to see a freaking football game. Wait, what are you doing back here. Aren't you supposed to be driving?" "Oh yeah." There was an awkward silence. Finally the bus drove off of the Grand Canyon. "How'd we get here?" Axel yelled in confusion. "This is all your fault Axel." "How is this my fault?" "Because you're stupid and gay!" "No, you are!" "How could you say that to your only friend?" "You're not my friend, I hate you!
Sora ate pumpkin pie one day. Then he ordered Chinese food, but it was poisonous, which killed him. Riku, Kairi, Roxas, Namine, Wakka, Tidus, and Selphie went to the funeral. They were going to bury him in the toilet. "Who should speak first?" asked Namine. "I will! Shouted Riku. Sora was a good friend, yes, a very good friend. I really enjoyed making that porn movie with him with us as the porn stars. Don't you agree, Roxas?" Namine and Kairi both looked at Riku, then at Roxas. "Uh, got to go!" shouted Roxas. He ran into the ocean but remembered he couldn't swim and drowned. "Okay…. Who speaks next?" asked Kairi. Wakka raised his hand. "When can I eat ya mon?" "What?" Kairi yelled. Wakka and Selphie jumped into the air and chewed up Kairi like the cannibals they were. The gory site that Riku was looking at made him blast a full force fart which brutally killed Tidus. Wakka then farted in Riku's face to stun him and Selphie jumped in to make the kill. "I'm getting out of here." Said Namine. She was about to take a flying pig but Leon came and turned her gothic. She then cast Hellfire on Leon and he turned to a girl.
Hell broke loose like this for 1 minute until the universe blew up. Then captain Jack Sparrow created a new universe full of pirate hippies and ruled until the ants turned against the world and slaughtered everyone.
HAPPY END! THE END?