"I've been having these weird dreams lately, like why the pizza man never came and what the groans and moans in my parents' room really mean. Like is any of this for real, or not?" Unfortunately, Riku came and shot Sora in the face claiming that he 'smacked his bitch up' so Sora never found out the answers.
"I'm hungry." "I know" "Ok………..I'm hungry!"
Sora was walking down the street one day and was having fun until he got hit by an 18 wheeler. Everyone was sad for 4 minutes but then forgot about him and played Monopoly. Riku beat Kairi, Namine, Roxas, and a hobo they found down the street. Namine wanted revenge so she drew Riku without a nose. Fortunately, her drawing looked more like Roxas and his nose came off. "Ahh, I can't breath, Ahh!" Roxas dropped dead on the floor and landed on Kairi. Kairi called him a pervert and tossed his body off of her. His body flung out of the window and landed in front of Tidus. It confused him but before he got to touch it, Wakka and Selphie came to eat the body. They thought Tidus was going to take their lunch so they both pulled down their pants and farted at him in unison. He exploded and destroyed Kairi's house. Kairi watched in horror as the town was engulfed in flames. She stabbed herself with the Monopoly game board and crushed the hobo eating a sandwich. "Riku was confused as hell at what just happened. Everyone besides Namine and him died. "Oh well." Said Namine and then she jumped out of the building into the streets and flames below. Riku was the only one left. He ripped off his and Kairi's clothes and had some live on dead action until he got shot by scavenging Jawas.
Organization X were going to do the impossible. They were going to be the first nobodies to climb Mt. Everest. But they would soon or never know that some things are really impossible. "Charge!" yelled Xemnas. (It was Organization X because Axel, Demyx, and Roxas weren't there.) "I got a splinter… waah!" cried Marluxia. "Watch out Marluxia!" "Ahhhh!" Marluxia got hit by a snowflake and fell to his death. "Noooo!" Vexen got stabbed by a twig and also fell to his demise. "Should we turn back?" "No Saix, we can do this, we can, Woohoo!" "I'm king of the world!" yelled Zexion as he stood on the tip of a ledge. "I'm still king of the…ahh!" Zexion fell and was no more. "Forget them, keep moving men!" Shouted Xemnas. (Organization VII now)
"Kairi guess what!" "What?" "I just had sex with women hotter than you." "WHAT!" Kairi slapped Sora across the face. "Who are they then?" "Okay ladies, you can come out." The first one was a ninja named Yuffie. The second was a girl named Olette. And there were many others. There was Aerith, Tifa, Maj, Namine, Yuna, Rikku, Paine, and Selphie. "They all have one thing in common, they're all hotter than you, unless you're in a bikini or your school outfit, then you win." Kairi punched Sora in the face and talked to them. "Selphie, why the hell?" "He offered me his ear, I couldn't refuse." "Hey, you know, only 1 of you can have Sora, you can't share." All the girls agreed and decided to fight Mortal Kombat style. Aerith bit Rikku's head, Olette kissed Yuffie on the lips to distract her and then attacked to make the kill, Namine drew Yuna and Paine making out which caused them to explode, and Selphie ate anyone in her way. Riku, who happened to just be walking by, watched the fight which filled him with happiness. It was so hot to him. But his enjoyment was cut short when he got killed by a rampaging watermelon. At the end of the fight, everyone blew up and Kairi was about to take Sora for her own when she learned that it wasn't him. "Hey you're not Sora!" "Sora, of course not, I'm captain Jack Sparrow. He then went into his pirate ship and brutally crushed Kairi.
"Hey were alive!" shouted Donald. They were in an airplane now. "Yeah we all lived except for Pluto. Oh well, live and let die." Said Mickey. "I'm invincible!" Shouted Goofy. A window of the airplane broke and Goofy was sucked through the small thing which killed him.
Kairi heard the phone ringing so she picked it up. "Hello?" "Are you the only one in the house?" "Riku, is that you, yes, I'm alone, and yes, I would happily have a three-some with you and Sora if that's what you want." The phone hung up so she did too. It then rang again. "Hello?" "What's your favorite scary movie?" "Hm, I think that would have to be The Lion King." "What the hell, that's a kid's movie made by Disney, never mind." "Why do you ask?" "Answer the questions I'm going to give you. If not, I'll DO him and you." "Who?" "Uh, your friend with the gray hair." "Old man Billybobby, the World of Warcraft fanatic?" "NO! Just look out the window." Kairi looked out the window and saw Riku tied up to a chair with tape over his mouth. She waved. "Is this some set up for a porn movie, cause it's hot!" "First question: Who killed Mufasa?" "Uh, Freddy Krueger?" "What the hell? NO! Next question. Who was the killer in Friday the 13th?" "Uh, Jason." "No! It was his mother in the first one. Third question, what is the circumference of pie?" "I don't know!" "Wrong, it's 3.14 you slut! At least it should be. Last question. Remember what happens if you lose. What year was the Disney movie Peter Pan made?" "Uh, 1993?" "No! It was made in 1953!" "1953? Disney was around that time?" "Yes you freakin' asshole!" "At least my asshole looks better than yours." "Hm, you got a point there. Oh well." Kairi looked out the window and saw a guy in a mask and a black cloak having sex with Riku. The guy in the mask ran when he saw Kairi. "Hi, Riku, how's it going?" "It hurt so much, it hurt, but it felt so good!" Riku then dropped dead. "I guess no three-some then." Kairi looked behind her and saw the guy in the mask standing there. "Hi there!" she said. "Aren't you gonna run?" "Hm, nope!" "Oh well, easier for me to rape you." He then knocked Kairi out and dragged her to the closet.
"In you and I, there's a new man.
Angels on diet.
(Wonk uoy naht snoitcerruser erom deen I)
My obituary, my obituary, yeah
Where beers and pies, melt away.
Bury inside
What's left of me, what's left of me, now…"
"Demyx, shut the HELL UP!" "But that's my favorite song to sing." "Those weren't even the right words!" "Oh…….. This is awkward… Wait, how long have we been falling?" "Probably for 12 hours." "How long does it take to fall off the Grand Canyon in a bus?" "Who cares when we have playboy." "Yeah, Axel, I have something to tell you." "What?" "I WISH I COULD QUIT YOU!" Demyx then kissed Axel on the lips. "Get the hell off me you freaking sicko!" Axel shouted as he pushed Demyx away.
"I like SOUP!" "I like more." Sora and Roxas were yelling gibberish at each other, and they had bad grammar. "Well I have a keyblade." "Well, I have a keyblade down my baggy pants!" Kairi walked by. "Hi guys, what ya talkin' 'bout?" "Hey Kairi, can I stick my keyblade up your keyhole? asked Roxas. "WHAT YOU SAY?" She punched Roxas in the face. "YOU'RE A FREAKING PERVERTED SICKO! YA' KNOW THAT?" She then farted in Roxas' and Soras' faces. "Hi Kairi, how's it goin'?" asked Tidus. She farted in his face and his corpse was eaten by a moogle's pompom. Kairi then became a prostitute and after each time she had sex, she farted in her partner's face which murdered them. She continued her life like this for 2 minutes until she got eaten by her own pink panties cause she never wore them anymore.
"What do we do?" asked Minnie. "I don't know, but let's have smoothies!" shouted Mickey. The Disney characters then took out beers and liquors and got drunk. "The applesauce is purple…… when once I were wittle bug, momma ate me flesh and purple is pwetty!" said a drunk Jiminy Cricket. He then pressed the emergency evacuation button and he shot out of the plane and was about to fall to his death but he was eaten by snarklebeasts and wildebeests, got crapped out, got abducted by Martians, received an anal probing, and blew up by extreme flatulence.
"Can anyone stop me?" shouted Cloud. Fortunately, Sephiroth was in the area and heard Cloud so he decided to brutally slaughter him. Sephiroth then became the king of the shoopuffs.
Sora, Riku, and Kairi were sitting on their favorite log. "Do you think things will ever change?" asked Kairi. "Nope." Said Riku. Sora, who was a mutant tree frog of the sea, let out a huge growling noise and ate Riku's shoulder. "Blahglobhingerjibbyingerblaghtergkingbder!" shouted Sora as Riku bled to death. "Good, Sora, don't ever change." Kairi then ran to the seaside shack but was eaten by a badly drawn circle. "That's what ya' call a true circle of life!" said Leon before he was engulfed by Jack Skellington.
It had been a week since Sora was buried in the toilet. Riku was eating when he was about to get poisoned by bird flu if he ate the rest. He gave the food to Kairi so she would die, but she gave the food to her dog. Meanwhile, Roxas rented the video The Chaingun of Memories. He turned it on but instead of seeing a rip-off of Sora's adventures in Castle Oblivion, he saw a video that started by showing a ring and then random videos. When it was over, the phone rang so he picked it up. "Seven days." Said the voice on the phone. "What's in seven days, the carnival? I love popcorn." "Uh, no, death." "Who dies, no, not my pet gerbil, Philip, please, take Namine instead. "Ya' know what, I change my mind, seven seconds!" The TV screen turned to static and then a well appeared. "Hm, I saw this show before, boring." A girl came out of the well, came out of the television, and killed Roxas.
Roxas' funeral took place a day later. "Kill me, whatever lies beyond this morning, I don't care from now on. Regardless of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at all, I'm already dead……When you die away, you don't hear me say, 'damn, oh baby, you're dead.' Simple and dead is the way that you're making me feel tonight, you already let go!" sang Namine, Kairi, and Tidus in unison. "Hey, who should mourn Roxas first?" asked Riku. "Let's forget about Roxas and have a farting contest!" shouted Kairi. "Oh, I'm getting out of here." said Tidus as he took a flying pig to escape." Hey that's my pig!" shouted Leon as he farted at Tidus. Tidus' corpse fell to the ground and blew up the world. Riku was the only one left. He was hanging on to the last piece there was of Earth, about to fall into hell. "HELP ME!" shouted Riku at the top of his lungs.
WILL RIKU HANG ON? WILL ANYONE HELP HIM? WHAT IS THE EVIL MASTER VIVI PLANNING? FIND OUT THESE ANSWERS NEVER IN THE NEXT CHAPTER.
The end……………………………. Maybe………….and is the applesauce really purple?
R&R before the badly drawn squares get me. They're coming closer…