This One's for the Bunnies presents-
THE ALL ORGANIZATION XIII CHAPTER! PART ONE
Characters- Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Zexion, Saix, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene, Roxas, Namine, Olette, Fuu, Usjintx, Akrdx, Stickyx, Mr. Frosty, Old man Jenkins# 5064, Vivi, Seifer, Rai, Crian, Rapper Sora, Gay Riku, Horny Kairi, John Cena, Rey Mysterio, White Room, Snarkle, Naminoy, Roxies, Drunk Snarklebeast, Cool drunk snarklebeast, Donut Snarklebeast, Pence, Hayner, Yuffie, Aerith, other horny chicks in Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy, xplaynamine13, Inuyasha-Xtreme, Maj, and others. Contains brief lemons and large Yaoi, Yuri, and mature content for some characters, so you have been warned, or have you? Comes in later paragraphs and next chapter.
DISCLAIMER- I DON'T OWN ANYTHING ECCEPT USJINTX, AKRDX, OLD MAN JENKINS#5064, CRIAN, SNARKLEBEASTS, NAMINOY, ROXIES, STICKYX, MAJ, AND OTHER PEOPLE LIKE PIEMONSTERS.
Saix and Demyx were eating pizza under the tree that never was. "Hey Siax, do you know what cheese is made out of?" "Uh, no, I don't. How about we find out!" "Yeah!" Demyx and Saix then started their never-ending quest to find out what cheese is made out of.
MEANWHILE IN CHAIN OF MEMORIES……
"What should we do about this Sora kid?" asked Axel. Everyone thought for a moment. "I know, I shall go and fight him!" shouted Larxene. All of a sudden, an explosion came and Axel appeared. "Wait, why are there two Axels?" asked Vexen. "I'm here to warn you about Sora. He's going to kill most of you today, unless you trap him. Here's what you do. Vexen, you will fight him, and he will kill you." "Why me?" "Cause no one likes you! Anyways, Larxene, get a big boulder and place it over Sora. Then you drop it and boom, no more Sora!" "Wait, won't that ruin the plan of opening Kingdom Hearts?" "I think Roxas would be glad to help us, but we won't help Xemnas, cause he made fun of my pony, Steve. Now go!" Everyone got into position. Vexen appeared in front of Sora and fought him. Sora was losing, but he knew Vexen's weakness. He froze time, went on E-bay, bought one of Axel's Chakrams, and then unfroze time. He then stabbed Vexen in the back, which killed him. "Bah HUMBUG!" shouted Vexen as he disappeared. "That's the power of the keyblade down in my pants!" shouted Sora. He was then crushed by a boulder. All the nobodies in Castle Oblivion then had a karaoke party, though the songs were not karaoke.
"The winner takes all. It's the thrill of one more kill. The last one to fall will never sacrifice their will!
Don't ever look back, on the winds closing in. The only attack were their wings on the wind, oh the daydream begins.
And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, and it's ours for the taking, it's ours for the fight. And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, and the world is ours to follow.
Sweet, sweet, sweet victory!"
The nobodies then took out wine and started drinking. Little did they know, this party would lead to hellish consequences.
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THE LIVES OF ORGANIZATION XIII.
DAY 1- NOBODIES HAVE MORE FUN!
Vexen was playing go fish with his inanimate friend, Mr. Frosty. It was a fine day until the doorbell to Castle Oblivion rang. "I'll get it!" sang Marluxia. He opened the door and saw a stick figure. "Hi, my name's Stickyx, can I join the Organization?" he asked. "Uh, sure, I'll call Xemnas and find out, but he's still pissed that we were going to overthrow him, he made me let him and the other members to get rooms. Someday my flower monkeys will cut his throat, infect his penis, rip out his eyes, and send him back to the depths OF HADES FROM WHENCE HE CAME!" "Sure, zou do that, can I have a room now?" asked Stickyx. "What does Zou mean?" "Stick figures can't pronounce the letter Y if it's at the beginning of a word that has two or more letters." "Fine, I'll create a 14th floor." Marluxia snapped his fingers, a 14th floor was created, and he called Xemnas' cell phone. Stickyx ran upstairs. He stopped at the room on the 13th floor. It was all white. "What ya' doin' here sucka?" he heard a squeaky voice ask. He realized the white room was talking to him. "Hello?" "What ya' doin' here? This is a girl's room. Oh, I get it, you're here to raid her panties, NICE!" "Aah!" screamed Stickyx as he ran to his room. He sat on the bed and took out a Nintendo DS. He opened it, pressed the power button, it turned into a suitcase, and he took out an Inuyasha DVD. He pressed Inuyasha's nose and numbers appeared. He then called someone. "Boss, I'm in." he said. "Good, now get those panties like I require and I will finally take over the world!" They then laughed maniacally.
DAY 2- LEXAEUS'S BIRTHDAY
Lexaeus was going to have a birthday, but his name was so hard to spell that he blew up and got eaten by a roasted pig.
DAY 3- ZEXION'S WEDDING
No one saw this day coming. Zexion was getting married to none other than…… Namine! He was gonna give his heart to her, if he had one. But some nobodies didn't like this one bit.
"What's the plan?" asked Roxas. "I say we kill Zexion!" shouted Lexaeus. "I thought you were gay." said Vexen. "Shut up!" "How about Lexaeus comes and beats Zexion up, and I come and save Namine. It's got to work!" shouted Roxas. "Okay!" said Vexen.
An hour later, the wedding started. "Hey ya'll, I'm John Cena, and I'm the guy who tells the people if they're married or not. Now, may the groom and bride come out now!" said John Cena. All of a sudden, Sora, Riku, and Kairi came in. "Hey yo' mamas, raise yo' hands cause Sora's in da house!" Yelled Sora. "Sora, I'm pregnant." said Riku. Riku's water then broke and Stickyx carried him to an ambulance. "Weird, hey Kairi, do you want to be pregnant?" asked Sora. "Hell yeah, this ceremony is making me horny!" They then walked behind the desk that holds the bible and moans could be heard throughout the church. "Okay………. who wants to hear me make fart noises with my armpits?" shouted John Cena. He then made inappropriate noises with his armpits. Zexion and Namine then entered the church. Okay, like, do you, Zexion, take Namine as your lawfully wedded wife?" asked John Cena. "Do I take her as a WHAT?" asked Zexion. "Do you want it to be legal that you force her to have sex without her being your concubine?" screamed John Cena. "Of course!" "Okay, and do you, Namine, take Zexion as your lawfully wedded husband?" Before she could answer, Lexaeus jumped from the sky, slammed into the ground, squeezed out an air- piercing fart, and attacked Zexion. Namine started screaming. Out of nowhere, Roxas fell from the sky, hurt his ankle, said "Shit!" in as many languages he could, and grabbed Namine. "I shall save you!" he yelled as he kicked Lexaeus. Lexaeus then died. Everyone then stared at the two dead bodies on the floor; Zexion and Lexaeus. Roxas ran away, still carrying Namine. A fat guy in the crowd stood up. "Does this mean that there's no cake?" he asked.
"What the hell happened?" Namine screamed at Roxas. "Why were you marrying him?" asked Roxas. "Because, he's not an idiot like you, he's safe and caring, and you're gay for Axel." "Hey, it's not my fault that he had a baby because my semen flew into his ass!" "What was your semen doing IN HIS ASS?" "Hey, it was a long winter." Roxas then heard a scream. "Be right back!" he said. He put Namine down and ran to the 14th floor of Castle Oblivion. He opened a door and saw a guy with bloody horseshoes standing over Xemnas. "Who are you?" asked Roxas. "I will be a member of this Organization, or MY member will be down your commander's bleeding THROAT!" the guy said. He then disappeared. Xemnas ran away, crying, and Vexen poofed into the room. "Hey Roxas, why did you place Namine at the edge of the cliff?" he said. "I did WHAT?" Roxas screamed. He then jumped out of the window. "FOURTEENTH FLOOR!" Vexen screamed at Roxas. "Hingerdinger…. AHH!" Roxas screamed.
Roxas ran towards the cliff in back of Castle Oblivion. He saw Namine hanging on for her life. If she fell, she would have to be melted in lava and eaten my rabid Snarklebeasts. "Hang on!" Roxas shouted. "Why can't I marry someone other than you or Vexen; I heard Stickyx was sexy." "Because then we can't have sex with you!" "You cancelled my wedding just so you could HAVE SEX WITH ME?" "Yeah, and is it working?" "You're impossible." Namine then jumped into the lava. "Crap, oh well, time to call all the babes for a little party in a Jacuzzi while skinny-dipping." Roxas then called Fuu, who was conveniently having sex with Olette.
DAY 4- LUXORD FICTION- EPISODE 1
Luxord walked into the basement of Castle Oblivion. Stickyx told him that Xemnas and Marluxia were creating a strange machine. And Stickyx was right. Xemnas and Marluxia were talking about the machine. Little did Luxord know, his random life would never be the same again, but even more random. Here's what happened…. IN SONG!
LUXORD FICTION THEME SONG……
Yo, Luxord Fiction, he was just 30, when his leaders built a very strange machine.
It was designed to view a world unseen. (Gonna catch them all cause he's Luxord Fiction)
When it didn't quite work, his leaders just quit, and Luxord took a look inside of it.
There was a great big flash and everything just changed.
His molecules got all rearranged. (He's Fanfiction, Fanfiction.)
When he first woke up, he didn't realize
He had charcoal-black hair and glowing red eyes.
He could write on walls, eat a pear, and fly.
He was much more unique than the dragoon guys.
It was then that he knew what he had to do.
He had to stop the fanfics that were coming through.
He's here to fight for Xaldin too!
Gonna catch em' all cause he's Luxord Fiction
Gonna catch em' all cause he's Luxord Fiction
Gonna catch em' all cause he's…… Luxord Fiction!
Luxord walked into the portal. It looked like a computer screen. He saw an arrow pointing at the word 'Games'. Luxord looked up and saw the words 'Fanfiction-unleash your imagination and free your soul.' The arrow clicked on the word 'Games' and a different screen popped up. The arrow then clicked on the word 'Kingdom Hearts- (11600)'. A new screen popped up again. The arrow went to a search bar and changed character 1 to Namine, the rating to all, the category to Romance, and character 2 to Roxas. A page opened up to reveal no search results.Luxord touched the word 'results' and a ball of light appeared. It quickly flew away."What the hell, there was a bunch of stories under this search yesterday!" Luxord heard. He looked up into the sky and saw a kid using the computer. "Who are you?" Luxord shouted. "What the hell, Justin, come here, The Computers TALKING!" Another kid then appeared. "Whoa, it must be a virus, click the X button above his head." "Ahh!" Luxord then went back to the homepage and left the portal. "I'm never going back there again, but I should tell Xaldin about this." Luxord thought aloud. He then went upstairs, not knowing that a very evil group of people emerged.
DAY 5- DO YOU THINK MILKSHAKES ARE NICE?
Namine walked to the white room to go to sleep. It was the middle of the night. "Hi Namine, what's the password?" asked the White Room. "Uh, piemonsters like pie." "Correct! Please enter before I have to call the Snarklebeasts!" The door swung open. "Oh, Namine, one more thing, Xemnas commanded you to have sex with Stickyx 5 times." "WHY?" "You know the rule, if an Organization member doesn't have sex with Namine 5 times, they're not a member." "I don't remember that!" "That's because the person who took your virginity bashed you on the head with Axel's cat." "Ew, does that mean Xemnas took my virginity?" "No, Fuu and Olette did." "WHAT?" "Yeah, it was cool, I got it on DVD, wanna see?" Namine then ran into the white room. "I'll show it to Roxas, I'm sure he'll love it!" the white room called. He then fell asleep. Namine walked to her bed, only to find someone laying on it. "Roxas, is that you? I already told you, we'll have sex in the Jacuzzi later." The person spoke up. "How dare you insult me by calling me ROXAS! So, he's not in the hospital in this world." "Who are you?" "Just call me Crian. I have to disguise my name as long as I'm not in the alternate high school universes." "Why are you here if you're from an alternate universe?" "Listen Namine, we may have just met but you're pretty much the same as the other world version of you, except for a different fashion sense. Will you……. go to the prom with me?" "I'm sorry…… Crian… but I'm going to a dance with Roxas." "So, I must cross this path again. Fine, but I'll be seeing you pretty soon." Crian then jumped out of the window. "THIRTEENTH FLOOR!" Namine shouted to him. He crashed on the ground and ran away.
DAY 6- THE PROM THINGY (THE RIPOFFS BEGIN)
"Hey Luxord." "Yeah Xaldin." "When you went into the portal, did you see anything suspicious?" "Yeah, besides the arrow, there were no fanfictions about Namine and Roxas." "Crap, this isn't good." "What isn't good?" "Maybe, when the portal opened, all the fanfics escaped!" "What's bad about that?" "Don't you realize it, if the fanfictions escaped, and they give to much information about their origins, we could get sued from ripping them off." "Crap! I only have 8 thousand million dollars!" "Wait, is there a prom tonight?" "Yeah, why?" "Most alternate universes have proms. There must be a bunch of characters there!" "Yeah, let's go, but first, we make a company." "YEAH!"
THE FANFICTION POLICE- ENSURING YOUR HARD-THOUGHT FANFICTIONS AREN'T BEING CHEAPLY RIPPED OFF, OR WE GET SUED BY THE STATE OF LAW!
At The Prom Homecoming……
Axel and Roxas were sitting on the chairs. "Hey Axel, why are we having a homecoming prom?" "Because, Castle Oblivion is going to be a school." "Crap that sucks." "Yep." "Hey, where's Namine." "I think she's by the punch." "Okay." Roxas walked to the punch table, where he found Namine. "Hi Roxas." She smiled at him. "Hi Namine, do you want to dance?" "I'd love to." Roxas and Namine started to dance. After ten minutes, Roxas went to the bathroom stall. Meanwhile, Xaldin and Luxord searched the dance floor. "Nope, no fanfics over here." said Luxord. "Let's look in the closet." said Xaldin. Luxord opened the closet door and saw Fuu licking Olette's clit. They immediately took notice. "Uh, we can explain." said a nervous Olette. Luxord shut the closet door and heard the moans continue from the room. He ran to Xaldin only to find him knocked out. "Xaldin, what happened?" "Oh Luxord, it was terrible, not only have fanfictions been released, but they're trying to turn us into fanfictions!" "Aren't we technically fanfictions?" "Yes, but we're not fanfics in our point of view." "What do we do?" "Uh, I have an idea!" Xaldin then dropped onto the ground and lifted his arms and legs up while saying "Photosynthesis" repeatedly.
Meanwhile, Roxas went to the second stall, heard a growling noise, ate some magic tuna that came from the toilet, and pulled down his pants and started to pee, only to find that a Jawa was using it and got pissed on. The Jawa shot Roxas where the sun don't shine and blew up by the purple invisible elephant. Roxas then walked to the sink. As he washed his hands, he heard a stall creak open. Standing there was a kid with a clenched fist. "Who are you?" asked Roxas. "My name's Crian, you fucker." "That's not a nice thing to say!" "Give me my girlfriend." "Who is that?" "Namine you ass!" "Does she even know you?" "She does where I'm from, so if she won't love me in my universe, she'll have to love me in this universe." "She's mine, along with the other girls who have sex with me, but they're just for fun." "You are a major slut you FUCKER." Crian then ran towards Roxas to smash his head into the mirror, but Roxas ran to the door. When he opened it, he saw a boy in a black dress and a girl that looked suspiciously like him. They grabbed Roxas and dragged him back to Crian. "Excellent work Naminoy and Roxies, you have learned well, being original characters and all." Crian told them. The boy in the black dress then walked to Roxas. "Where'd ya' put Snarkle, you donkey-porker?" he asked in a viciously angry tone. "What the hell are you talking about, and who are you and who's Snarkle?" Roxas asked. "I'm Naminoy, and you sure as hell know Snarkle." "No I DON'T!" "Yes!" "NO!" "YES!" Before Roxas could reply, Crian started to choke Roxas and tossed him towards the mirror. To Crian's surprise, Roxas ducked and karate chopped Naminoy. Roxies lunged towards Roxas and they broke out into a wrestling match. Crian watched in utter confusion since he didn't expect Roxas to miss hitting the mirror.
The fighting was brutal. Roxies pulled Roxas' hair, Roxas punched her in the gut, she tickled his penis for a short while and then painfully bit it, and they farted at each other. At the end of the fight, though, only one person made it. And that one person was Vivi. Roxas and Roxies were blown up by Xaldin because he thought they were ripping off a fanfiction, and Crian danced with Namine as the two blond-haired kids fought. So in conclusion, life sucks when you're a member of your own universe, but ball biting can make all the difference in creating the stigma of time as a new origin of humanity.
THE LIVES OF ORGANIZATION XIII- TO BE CONTINUED, BUT FOR NOW………
TIME FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!
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MEANWHILE IN CHAIN OF MEMORIES…….
All the nobodies in Castle Oblivion were still having their wine drinking party when someone upstairs woke up. Larxene was the first to notice. As she swallowed her 87th glass of wine, she heard light footsteps walking from floor 13. She knew it was Namine's because she had hot and brutal sex with her many times before, so she knew what the footsteps sounded like for some reason. And Namine was a tattle-tale. If she found out about this party on the first floor, she would tell DIZ, and then the word would get to Xemnas, and then Xemnas would know that the nobodies in Castle Oblivion were traitors, and then they would all be turned into dusks, and they would have to be Roxas' children for some reason! And that was a fate worse then having to play go fish with a drunken Luxord. "Uh, guys, we should stop the party before we get into trouble!" Larxene tried to tell everybody. But they didn't listen. "Heyyyyyyy ya' babecakes! Why doncha show us some skin!" said a drunken Axel. He spoke with terrible grammar. Before Larxene could respond, she felt her cloak slip off, revealing her bra and her thong. Zexion slipped them off. She was surrounded by Axel and Zexion, who were stripping. She couldn't resist; her dream was to always have sex with Axel and Zexion at the same time, and she always liked having sex with Namine, but this was different. Larxene led both of them to the closest bed…
WHEN CONTINUED, THERE WILL BE A LEMON! You have been warned.
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Demyx and Saix went to their dreadnought ship. They decided to go to Radiant Garden to find what cheese was made out of. As soon as the ship took off, Saix fell out of the ship, got abducted by an alien ship, frightened a giant eyeball controlling the ship, and got kicked out back into the dreadnought. The ship was about to land in Radiant Garden, but Demyx farted which turned a lever causing the ship to go into hyper speed. It blew up Radiant Garden to smithereens and flew to a world far away. The ship crashed onto the land and exploded as soon as they stepped off. They were in a small village. "Where are we?" asked Demyx. "I don't know, but there's a chicken; I hate chickens!" said Saix. He then repeatedly kicked a chicken until he heard a large amount of clucking. He looked in the sky and saw tons of angry chickens flying towards him. "AHHHHH!" screamed Saix as they attacked him. Demyx then saw an old lady calling guards to capture a boy in all green. The boy used a sword to kill all the guards and then barged into an opened door. "Why does this place remind me of Super Nintendo?" Demyx asked himself. He asked nearby villagers where he was, but they didn't answer. He then saw a sign saying 'Welcome To Hyrule!' "Ah crap." Demyx said flatly.
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"Welcome to 'Dr. Nobody'. Today, we talk to a couple original characters about their take on life. Now, welcome your host, Dr. Nobody!" A huge dusk then walked onto the stage. "Hello, I'm Dr. Nobody, and welcome to my show!" he said in a squeaky voice. "Now, for our first guest, let's talk to the one but hardly only original character, MAJ!" The crowd cheered as a girl walked onto the stage. She looked exactly like Fuu, except she had all orange clothes and orange hair. "Hello Maj, now what do you do in your spare time?" Dr. Nobody asked. "I have sex with sexy boys, but I'm really fond of women like Namine, Kairi, and Roxies. They're fighters!" she yelled. "Ah yes, but in a different question, do you feel unused by your creator?" "I sure do. I only appeared in chapter 2 of this story, and I didn't even do anything! I was only one of the girls Sora had sex with that wasn't Kairi. Did you hear me speak? CAUSE I DIDN'T!" "Okay, well, I'll come back to you. Now let's speak with Snarkle the Snarklebeast!" A 6- foot tall Snarklebeast walked onto the stage. "Hello Snarkle!" "HOGWASH!" "Sure, now I understand you wrote the bestselling book 'So You Got Yourself a Keyblade.' Correct?" "HOGWASH!" "Uh, different question. Do you feel underused?" "HOGWASH!" "Okay, that's enough of you, now let's talk to Naminoy!" Naminoy then walked onto the stage. "Howdy dusk." "My name's Dr. Nobody!" "Whatever." "Ok, do you have something to complain about your creators?" "Yeah, just look at me. I'm a replica of a blond witch from a different universe. Why'd I have to be a guy replica of a girl? And, to make matters worse, I'm wearing a freaking black dress." "Why is this so bad?" "WHY? Just look at me. I look like I'm dead and I dress like a homo." "And what does this mean?" "I MUST BE EMO!" Naminoy then jumped up and started to sing 'The Emo Song.' "Well, that's all the time we have today. Tune in tomorrow for our episode titled 'I woke up with my grandmother naked- Hayner's story. Well, see you again; I'm off to rethink my life as I slit my wrists with a keyblade. BYE BYE!" The show then ended.
SUPER RANDOM HALF-TIME SHOW! THOUGH IT'S AT THE END!
"In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps to-…" Jack Sparrow blew up the world with a very sharpened pencil.
Organization XIII met in the locker room that never was. "Okay boys, we're gonna take down those somebodies. Understand?" Xemnas told his team. "Yeah, down with those heart- people!" the team shouted. MEANWHILE…..
"ESW! ESW!" shouted the team of somebodies. "Okay boys, let's murder these nobodies! This is for Even Somebodies Wrestle!" shouted Riku to his team. "YEAH. ESW! ESW!"
The wrestling match was underway for 30 minutes. To be eliminated, you had to be thrown over the top rope. Close to the end, only Roxas, Namine, and Larxene were left on the Organization side, while only Riku was left on his side. Larxene charged towards Riku, but he countered and threw her over the rope. Riku was so relieved that he didn't notice that Namine charged towards him. He fell over the rope. The organization had the match won, until Roxas ripped off his shirt which revealed a new one that said 'ESW'. He dashed towards Namine and threw her over the top rope. Roxas had crossed over to the heart side. And this is truly how Roxas betrayed the Organization. Well, now that you heard this, review and GET THE FUCK AWAY UNTIL THE NEXT CHAPTER COMES, WHICH COULD BE ANYTIME. NEXT CHAPTER IS PART 2 OF THIS! NOW, GET OUT! GET OUT! GET…… OUT!
We think the point has been made. Now, do what the narrator told you to, or else the calico-colored guinea pig will eat your other leg. He already has the first one, you just don't know it yet………
"THE END!" shouted Piemonster13 as he was devoured by Snarklebeasts.