Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters or settings from Lord of the Rings or Xena the Warrior Princess

Author's Note:

Be Aware: Concepts contained in this chapter include nudity!

This is a LegoRomance (slow-burn)

~ XXVIII: Cushy Naked Disasters ~

Imladris, 3018 TA, December 23

Fall was drawing to a close; the golden light gradually faded to pale silver, and the last of the autumn leaves dropped from the bare trees. From the Misty Mountains to the east, a wind started to blow cool. The moon waned in the night sky, displacing all the minor stars. However, down toward the south, a single crimson star blazed. Each night, when the Moon began to wane, it shined much brighter.

The future, whether good or bad, was not forgotten, but it lost all influence on the present. The selected company grew strong in health, and they were satisfied with each pleasant day as it came, relishing every meal and every speech. Thus the days passed, each morning bright and sunny and each evening cold and clear.

The scouts started to return. The lord of Imladris had sent them out to scout the area and find news before the fellowship would depart. Some had travelled north past the Hoarwell's springs into the Ettenmoors; others had travelled west and sought the territories far down the Greyflood with the assistance of Aragorn and the Rangers. Numerous people had travelled east and south; some had crossed the Mountains and reached Mirkwood. Elladan and Elrohir, Elrond's sons, were the last to arrive; they had travelled a long trip, travelling down the Silverlode into a distant nation, yet they would not speak of their mission to anybody but Elrond.

The messengers had detected no traces or news of the Riders or any servants of the Enemy in any location. They have received no new information from the Eagles of the Misty Mountains. Nothing of Gollum had been seen or heard, but the wild wolves had gathered and were once again hunting far up the Great River. The scouts had only seen orc troops that were often sighted near Imladris's boundaries. However, those orcs were not looking for the one ring or for Frodo.

The time had come, and it was time for the fellowship to depart. It was decided to start at dusk on December 25, for Elrond counselled them to journey under cover of night as often as they could until they were far from Rivendell. The Company took little gear of war, for their hope was in secrecy not in battle and they packed a great number of supplies. Half of the supplies were returned as the poor pony could not handle the weight.

She had been at the House of Elrond for about two months, and November had passed with the final vestiges of autumn, and December was almost over. In the last month, nothing much had happened. She spent her days talking to the members of the fellowship, Elrond and his children as she was trying to understand a little better Middle-Earth and their mission.

She had spotted the elf a few times dining with Aragorn or conversing with the twins. However, he was not seen for the remainder of the days or nights. She eventually inquired about him with Arwen, who informed her that he was still recuperating and needed time away from everyone and everything. She never spotted him around the opening like she used to, and that absence slowly started to make its presence noticeable.

Legolas was weary; he was relieved to be safe in Imladris, where he could rest and mend. Legolas had already seen hardship, most notably when he lost his mother. In Imladris, he rediscovered himself and the will to live. This month's tiredness, on the other hand, was not as severe. He felt better during the second week, but Elrond and Gandalf insisted on his complete recovery.

As a consequence, the young prince was irritated, bringing out his spoilt nature. While he appreciated the peacefulness of Imladris, having nothing but peace for a month was his particular hell. Without Aragorn and the twins to keep him occupied, he would have ended up challenging the human to a fight. That was the extent of his desperation.

"Will you join us in the Hall of Fire, where the majority of the company will be for a last meal and farewell?" Elladan asked Legolas, knowing he would agree after spending too much time in solitude.

"Perhaps," he said, knowing that his faithful friend would wait for him to accept, urging the sons of Elrond was constantly assisting his fiery to calm down.

"My dear brother is amusing himself with the human," Elladan mused as he watched Legolas. When it came to teasing the maidens, his twin was always prepared, expecting to meet his mate along the way. However, this did not imply he was incapable of entertaining himself. When Legolas was younger, he would join in, and the two of them would flirt and tease.

Legolas shifted his gaze to Elladan, stopping for a long while at the prospect of Elrohir flirting with Xena. "Is that so?" he said, his look bemused, knowing full well how it would end.

"Indeed," Elladan grinned, "and he is succeeding!"

This section drew a brief frown from the Prince of the Woodland Realm toward Elladan. That could not be; her responses were usually rash when someone approached her in this manner. He was perplexed as to why it affected him. "I do not care," Legolas said coldly. "I need to prepare..." And with that, he went to his chamber to get a towel and his clothing in preparation for a long soak in the hot springs located within the bathhouse next to his quarters.

The water poured down; it dripped by Legolas' side as his mind faded into dullness and everything was a foggy illusion. He decided not to give in; he tried to keep his calm feeling. 'A bit longer,' he thought and reached for the soap. The sensation of the steamy water calmed him; it took his mind off things. All the things he honestly cared about. His mind swirled, and it was like he was standing under an everlasting waterfall. Ever so beautiful, but he knew it wouldn't last for long.

It was just minutes ago when Xena escaped Elrohir without injuring him. She snatched up a new towel, her gown, and a fresh pair of panties and dashed out of the bedchamber before the noisy twin discovered her. She made her way down the hallways and towards the bathing areas. Each bathtub was enclosed in a private room, and when a bath was used, the user placed a little red towel on the door to indicate that it was occupied.

In her irritable mood, she discovered the bathing halls and barged into the first available room, closing the door behind her. Prior to that, she ensured that the crimson towel was draped over the entrance; the last thing she wanted was for someone to walk into the bath while she was bathing. Steam was still filling the chamber, and it seemed as if it had been used before.

Legolas reclined against the cold tiles, his eyes closed to the sound of the water. He'd missed the luxury he'd had as the prince, in his own quarters in Mirkwood complete with an incredible shower and hot tubs. Naturally, as he rode out, he would wind up bathing on the banks of chilly rivers or under waterfalls. At the very least in Imladris, warm water from the spring was used to shower and maintain basic cleanliness.

Xena arranged her items on the little counter next to the sink; she saw a pair of garments in the corner and assumed they had been left there by the previous owner. She hanged her long gown, which Arwen had given her. Again, dressing as an elf maiden became second nature to her while living in Rivendell. Nonetheless, it was the last night they would dine together as a group since they would depart from Rivendell in two days. She eventually granted Arwen's desire, and here she was now attempting to be ladylike.

She removed her heavy velvet robe letting it drop against the floor, grabbed her towel, and skipped over to the shower. Then she stretched out to open the shower wooden door, which was rather hefty and covered the adjoining room's showers and bathtub.

Legolas shut off the water supply, and drop after drop the waterdrops fell on the shower's porcelain floor. He stretched his arms to reach for his towel, and it was only then that he realised it had been left outside. He shook his head incredulously at his actions and took a step forward, opening the door and exiting the shower. His mind was wandering, savouring the sense of well-being he hadn't had in days. The prospect of the approaching adventure had brought him back to his senses.

The human never managed to pull the door open as the door suddenly opened on its own, and there she found a very naked Legolas stepping out of the shower. She easily spotted his silver blond hair like a white flame on a rainy day. He towered over her tall and well-built, an elf who obviously was trained in battle and at the same time seemed like a royalty.

Xena stood there frozen as she watched in awe at his expression. Her mind was trying to process what had just happened. Why did the running water stop? Why did the door open on its own? She thought and jolted her head at her stupid questions. That was not the point; why was there a very naked wooden elf standing in front of her?

Her cheeks flushed as she studied every part of his nude figure. His muscular structure was remarkable in that it was substantial flesh but not overbuilt. His skin was pale and nearly gleaming. It was unsettling to see wounds and slashes on such flawless skin; some scars were ancient, while others were brand fresh. And she was perplexed as to why she had missed them the first time she saw his nude torso.

His legs remained still, too taken aback, too humiliated by his response when he realised the naked female in front of him was Xena, and it was not a dream. Blushing would not have been an issue, but what he did was make his face crimson, and he was unable to deal with what was occurring. He prayed that the ground burst open and devour him entirely. Why was she there in the first place? Why was she completely naked?

However, for a moment his eyes lingered along her naked body. Her brown long hair was twisted up in a bun allowing the elf to have a better look along her upper body. Her skin was white like the early snow of the first winter storm. The prince was daring, he did not turn his gaze away, on the contrary, he studied every inch of her naked body finding it mesmerizing.

Suddenly both of them faced each other speechless for a second. They stood there, staring at their naked bodies without taking any action. Then they were both upset and tried to find something to cover themselves. Legolas had not a towel with him, and Xena had dropped hers from the shock. There's that moment between action and consequence, eternal and fleeting. But that moment was their topmost embarrassing moment, their personal hall of shame.

"Get out!" Xena shrieked a split second later when she regained her voice. She fought to reclaim the towel that had fallen to the floor. "What are you doing here, you pervert?" she asked as she attempted to wrap the towel over her torso.

The prince was likewise in a state of alarm; his hair was dripping and he was unsure how to respond to this scenario. "There is no room for mistake; the shower was empty when I stepped in," he exclaimed, fully certain that he had done nothing wrong.

"I don't know! Were you?" said Xena with a louder tone and took a step towards him. She was ready to knock some sense into him as he kept staring at her. "You didn't lock the door or even hang the red towel, You freaking pervert!"

Legolas tilted his head, attempting to absorb what she was saying. "Are you a fool, or what? You didn't hear the water running even if the door was unlocked!?" He screamed, closing the gap between them.

Xena halted and inhaled deeply to recover her composure; she turned and looked at the door, then at Legolas "Are you serious? Who bathes with unlocked doors?" She inquired, well aware that the majority of individuals she knew bathed without locking the doors since not all residences had locks.

Legolas gathered his fingers into a fist; his eyes were deadly pinned against the human. He never felt so embarrassed and irritated in his life. They both have forgotten they were naked quarrelling inside the shower. "This is not my problem. It would be best if you even were not here!" he uttered in a deeper tone.

"Get out of here, you pervert!" She spat fearless as she couldn't contain her rage any anymore and slammed her head on his, breaking his nose and causing it to bleed.

Legolas ended up bleeding from the nose and in a rage, ready to strike her senseless. He grabbed her arm as firmly as he could, coming dangerously close to scooping her up and dragging her out. Xena strained forward to regain her footing and stumbled. The elf attempted to apprehend her. She drew back and lost her footing. She stretched out and grasped upon Legolas as she realised she was about to fall on her back. He, too, lost his equilibrium and fell forward, colliding with her. For the first time in her life, the human was so befuddled that she lost control of her own body.

She opened her eyes again in shock when she figured out that she was falling. Her perception of time distorted; everything slowed down until there was nothing, only her and him, the shower room that seemed to swallow them whole. Her hand reached out, grasping anything she could find. Everything was a blur, a blur that swirled out of existence. Suspended in the air, she closed her eyes and surrendered herself into the fall.

The world rushed by in a blur, and Legolas knew the fall was coming. It went by fast, yet slow, almost suspended. Then impact. He felt his bones move, his skin reached the cold ground, but most of his body felt like he fell on something soft. Without looking, he knew the outcome would be messy because he ended up crashing against Xena.

Her body twirled and jerked as she fell. The wind in her face made it impossible to breathe; she felt like she was suffocated. She was trapped under something heavy. But at least she knew she was no longer falling, and she wasn't hurt. She opened her eyes; blue eyes met dark grey ones, their faces red and confused. Xena had fallen on her back against the ground; the towel dropped next to them. Legolas was above her; his body smashed against hers. She felt his soaked skin, from the shower he had taken, touching against hers. There was a moment of silence. Both had a look of mild shock on their faces and their cheeks that flushed pink after that chaos was unleashed.

"Get off me," the human cried out and trying to push him off her and struggling to escape under him.

"Wait," he pleaded as he was trying to balance and pull away from her. But the floor was slippery, and the elf couldn't pull away his feet slipping, and he would only end up smashing his frame against hers.

Xena's tension grew in her face and limbs, her mind replaying the fall and naked Legolas, who was on top of her. Her breathing became more rapid, more shallow. "Don't," she said through gritted teeth. "Get off me!" Her cries came louder now, echoing all over the bathing halls.

Legolas was trying to calm her down, he didn't want to remain above her, but he couldn't get up as she kept struggling under him and made him lose his balance over and over again. He had to reach and place his hand and muff her mouth to get her attention. "Stop," he uttered, gazing at her. "If you keep struggling like that, I cannot get up."

Suddenly, the door opened, and Arwen and Aragorn stormed inside, finding a very naked Legolas above Xena holding her mouth and an equally naked Xena under him. "What happened?" they both asked in bemused as they tried to aid them both without staring.

Xena was mumbling something under Legolas's hand, and the elf sighed at the unbelieving scene that was happening "The human accidentally, entered the shower, that I forgot to lock, and we both were startled and ended up like that. Please get us a towel and aid me to stand." Legolas managed to explain calmly trying to overlook the broken nose.

Arwen immediately hurried to fetch them clean and dry towers; the ranger assisted Legolas and then Xena in ascending. Arwen reappeared, and both grabbed a towel and wrapped it over their body. Everyone took a minute to regain their composure.

"You caused us a heart attack," Arwen observed the duo, who were both furious and humiliated. "How did you both end up like this?" she added, trying not to laugh.

Legolas had had enough of this and was at a loss for an explanation as to how something so foolish could happen to him. He was never known for making mistakes, and yet here he was, forgetting to shut the door. He was dumbfounded; he was unable to provide a plausible answer to Arwen or Aragorn. He collected his clean clothing. He chose to change to another room.

"I thought the shower was empty... " She cast a glance towards Legolas. "The pervert was here..."

Legolas took a step back, preparing to escape but delaying; her words irritated him since he had never imagined such a thing would happen. "It's not as if I want this," he remarked mockingly. "Additionally, do not flatter yourself. Your body is not deserving of all this hardship only to view it!"

Aragorn and Arwen were taken aback by the prince's behaviour, particularly Arwen, who had known him since he was an elfin. Legolas had never talked to a maiden in that manner before. Even while teasing them with her brothers, he was always conscious of his tongue. However, not today. It seems as if the human had discovered his dark side.

Xena clasped her hands about her waist, her gaze fixed on him. "You...wait a minute... what?" She inhaled deeply and examined her body in astonishment. "What is wrong with my body!" she said as she admired her shape. Without hesitation, her hands grasped her breasts and she began murmuring to herself.

An odd warmth touched Legolas' cheeks, and he stepped back. "Whatever!" he murmured and walked outside the shower leaving the half-naked girl to get dressed. Arwen and Aragorn hooked their heads and stepped away as well. They weren't sure how to explain what they had just seen. But they agree to erase the memory.

The elf walked to the next available room, whipped the blood from his nose and closed the door behind him as he was trying to calm down. Today's morning was the oddest he ever had in his life. His mind would go into the gutter from time to time, and he would remember Xena's naked figure. Yet he would shake the thought out of his mind and hit his head for having such thoughts. He even wished to have his painful memories back, to escape from today's fiasco.

The human was also in shock. She acted bravely and didn't lose her coolness as long as she was fighting with Legolas. But deep down, she was troubled. How could she be so naive and stepped into a busy shower? Her mind froze as an image of a very naked Legolas crossed her mind. 'Whose the pervert now?' her inner voice asked, making her blush. She breathed in and out, ignoring her thoughts and vivid memory.

After a long time, both managed to dry themselves and get dressed. They agreed to forget and ignore today's accident after all both had seen naked bodies before, while would it bother them. It was time to attend the dinner, and perhaps it would aid them to forget what had just happened.

((Upcoming Chapter Twenty-Nine))

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