As Sam drifted into consciousness all he could think was "This is the Life." The sun was beating down on his broad shoulders, and he'd had the most peaceful sleep Sam could remember in months. Rolling over and checking his watch he saw that he'd been out for about an hour. "Boy did I need that. It feels like I got a 8 hour R.E.M cycle rather then just an hour." Peering to his right he saw that Dean's towel was empty. Sitting up and scanning the horizon he quickly found his brother down by the water chatting up two very attractive ladies in indecent bikinis. Smirking at the fact that for all of the changes he'd finally accepted about his big brother at least some things stayed the same. Dean Winchester was an unstoppable flirt. "Looks like we have dinner company anyway." Thought Sam as he watched Dean charm the girls into simpering piles of goo. Thinking of going out with his brother brought a smile to his face, but Sam couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt at the thought of going out with another girl.
Flopping back on the towel Sam stared up at the sky and tried to get control over the sudden onslaught of emotions. "God Jess, I miss you. Everything would be so much easier if you were here with me and Dean." Not for the first time did Sam think about what his life be like if he'd just told Jess the truth. Knowing her as well as he did Sam couldn't help but believe that Jess would have been supportive of Sam and his family's vendetta. Ironically Jess had also known Sam better then anyone else, with the exception of Dean. She may not have known the truth about Sam's past, but she knew Sam. She knew what made him, happy, mad, sad, hyper, and irritated. Jess might not have known the circumstances, but she knew the outcome they had on Sam. He missed that about her with a painful intensity that often left him breathless. Sam was the type of person who needed to talk things out, in order to make sense of them in his head. Otherwise Sam was likely to over think the situation, and come to the wrong conclusion anyway. Jess would always allow Sam this luxury; she would sit on the couch and allow Sam to pace around the apartment voicing all the thoughts running through his head. Occasionally she would voice and opinion or idea to help Sam out, but generally she would just let Sam vent and be there for him when he was done.
As much as Sam loved his brother, Dean was not the type to talk about things. Repress and move on, was more Dean's style, and whether he knew it or not it was slowly driving Sam crazy. Sam didn't have an outlet anymore and the pressure was building. It had already exploded twice now with disastrous results, between the Asylum and the Vanir. Sam knew that he and Dean needed to find a compromise to their conflicting ways of dealing with emotional stress before things got as bad between them as they had been between Sam and John. That thought alone caused Sam to shiver and goose bumps to form on his arms. After finally realizing the years of emotional abuse he'd heaped on his brother, Sam certainly didn't want to make the situation worse. The problem was how to mend not only the past, but fix the way they dealt with things in the future. "That idea of handcuffing him to the bed, might just have to become a reality." Sam mused as he tried to think of how to get Dean to listen to him with out Dean telling Sam that he didn't want to talk about the subject.
Watching Dean head back towards him waving goodbye to the two ladies Sam was once again hit with a painful epiphany. Dean loved him and would do anything for him; all Sam had to do was ask. "Well, here goes." Sam thought preparing himself the painful subjects that he knew he needed to discuss with Dean before he burnt out.
"Yo, dude bout time you woke up. This place is utter paradise, man. Did you see those girls? Ohhh man they were so hot. Whoever invented the bikini should be given a noble prize, no question. You have a good nap Sammy boy, cause it seemed like you were out like a light?" Dean rattled off as he plopped next to his brother. Looking completely relaxed and hyper from all the thoughts of how much fun this vacation was going to be. "Becky and Kim gave me the name of a great local seafood joint we have to check out for dinner. I haven't had fried fish if forever, and this place is a local hotspot not one of those over priced tourist traps. So watta ya say ready for a night on the town with your big brother? I promise to leave a few of the gorgeous girls for you since I'm a great big brother." Dean smirked.
Grinning at Dean's excitement Sam decided the heavy stuff could wait a little while. "Whatever you say jerk. I can get my own women thank you very much so please don't bother with trying to pass on your sloppy seconds." Sam joked as he threw an easy punch at Dean's head. "Hey when we checked into the motel I saw some pamphlets for deep sea fishing charters. Do you want to go out tomorrow? Spend a couple of hours just you and me and the deep blue sea?"
"Sound awesome Sammy. How much does something like that cost?" Dean queried.
"Don't worry about it, man. I've got some money stashed away I've been saving for a special occasion." Sam replied thinking about the money he had put away to buy an engagement ring for Jess. As that money would never be put to it original intent Sam thought "Might as well spend in on giving the other most important person in my life a great day."
"Okay first, you've got money stashed and you haven't brought it up before now? Second what were you saving money for; your new lawyer's wardrobe?"
"We haven't needed to use the money yet, and you get such a kick out of earning our living hustling pool and cards I didn't want to take that joy away from you." Sam joked knowing that he didn't want to lie to his brother anymore and also knowing they were veering into deep emotional baggage with his upcoming answer to that question. "The money was going to buy Jess an engagement ring." He said quietly.
"Oh damn it Sammy, why the hell…I'm sorry man." Dean said mentally kicking himself for asking.
Not wanting to lose the easy relaxed nature of their outing so far Sam told Dean with the utmost seriousness. "Dean it's okay. I'd like to use this money for us to have a great vacation. Yes there's stuff we need to work out, or more importantly I need to work out, but not right now. Today is just about us having fun and decompressing. We'll get to the hard stuff later. Maybe tomorrow or the next day; we're in no hurry here. So just don't feel bad you didn't know. Like I told you last week I want to tell you about Jess, you would have liked her."
"Whatever you say Sammy boy, whatever you say." Dean answered. Appreciating Sam's desire to enjoy their vacation as well as share information about the beautiful girl Dean had only met once, but who had changed his and Sam's life forever. " Fishing sounds wicked. I mean we're at the beach might as well make the most of it. I don't know about you Sammy, but I'm ready to head back to the motel. Grab a shower and a nap before we head out for a night on the town."
"Yeah I think I've soaked up all the rays I can for a day." Sam said stretching his long frame before standing and gather up their stuff. "A shower sounds great, that diving roll I did earlier got sand in places where sand is not supposed to be." Sam groused trying to shake the left over sand out of his recently purchased swim trunks.
"See what happens when you start shit with me. When will you ever learn Sammy boy, it will always lead to getting your ass handed to you." Dean smirked watching Sammy shake one leg then another, like a dog with an itch it can't quite scratch.
"Fuck off, jackass. You were totally sucking my wind. I let you stay in the game, so you wouldn't feel so bad about getting out distanced by your kid brother. And it's Sam." Sam smirked right back giving as good as he got.
"Oh so that's how you want to believe it was. I see you really should get those pesky mental lapses checked out by a doctor bitch. They can't be healthy. I was kicking your ass." Dean fired right back gearing up for the upcoming verbal Olympics of barbs and insults. Preparing to defend his rightful title as King of Smart Asses.
"I'm sorry, but how could you possibly kick my ass with those short little legs of yours. I mean seriously you might have kicked the back of my kneecaps, but I pretty sure that's as high as you could get without a stool." Sam smirked determined to remind Dean that he'd taught Sam everything he knew about verbal sparring, and Sam was always and excellent student.
"Oh your funny, I guess you wouldn't mind waking back to the motel then on those freakishly long legs then bitch." Dean snarked right back loving to see his brother behaving so happy and relaxed.
"Whatever you say, shorty." Sam laughed at Dean's inability to accept the fact that Sam was taller.
"You know you can be tossed overboard tomorrow. You know that right? I mean Jaws would chomp your fugly ass right up." Dean fired right back.
"Of course he would unlike with you I would be more then a mouthful." Sam volleyed back as the boys reached the car and began loading their stuff in the back.
"See it's the difference between filet mignon and hanger steak. The hanger may be bigger, but the filet's the better quality." Dean shot back climbing into the driver's seat.
Sam's reply was cut short by the music blaring out of the stereo as Dean started up the Impala.
"I'm sorry Sammy." Dean hollered over the pounding drums of Metallica. "I can't hear you music's to loud."
Sam's smirk at his brother's antics for winning an insult war between the two brothers never failed to amuse. Rolling the window down and enjoying the breeze on his face Sam knew this is exactly what the brother's needed. "We'll figure it out, we always do. It won't be like when we were kids, but hopefully it will be better." With that thought firmly in mind Sam began to sing along to "Disposable Heroes" and looked forward to the week ahead.
To be continued.
Yay! Chapter 2's done. I can't believe I got as much done today as I did. I'm utterly exhausted. I had the worst case of insomnia last night. It was 3:30 before I got to bed, and I had to wake up by 9:00. Please please please please please review. I need positive feedback. Not to mention grammatical help. I know I'm not the best writer as far as grammar is concerned, so please offer suggestions. Let me know what I did wrong. I want to improve. I've enjoyed fan fiction for years, and I want to help make sure quality fan fiction exists for everyone to enjoy. Please let me know what you think. I can and will hold future chapter's hostage for reviews. Sorry if this sounds cranky and desperate, but I'm tired and moody, so review and cheer me up please. Thanks for reading.
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