So this is basically a chapter full of smut, I give you fair warning.

Enjoy

Arizona POV

I'm scared to go to sleep, not for myself, but for Amelia. She was so strong in opening up to me, and she told me today was going to be hard, and I know I've seen her in tough situations before but she never felt the need to truly warn me about an event. As such, I am sat here, refusing to close my eyes to be here for her. She is sitting with a sketchbook on her lap and a pencil in her hand, just quietly drawing. I have a book open but I keep reading the same line over and over, flicking towards her in between to make sure she is okay.

"That book isn't going to read itself, you know that right?"

"Hm what?" I flick my head up to look at her properly.

"You have been on the same page for the last 20 minutes, and the book is upside down. You okay?" She asks with a small laugh, putting her pencil down and placing a hand on my leg.

"Yeah, I'm just distracted, you're very distracting"

"In a sexy or worried way? Amelia asks raising an eyebrow with a smug smirk.

"I don't know. Both? I mean I would love nothing more than to remove all your clothes right now but I am worried about you. I just wish I could take your pain away."

"Orgasms are pretty good pain relief, I wouldn't be opposed if you, a doctor wanted to prescribe one."

"I would love that, really I would, but I don't want to cause a nightmare. I know tomorrow is going to be tough and I don't want to make anything worse." I explain honestly.

"You're not going to. Really, I'm fine right now and I'll tell you the moment I'm not. I had a nice day, and normally that is something to celebrate. So what do you say Robbins? You up for some celebration sex?"

"I'm sure I could make that happen. You sure you're okay?"

"Please, just stop asking that. I'll tell you if something is wrong, I promise?"

"Okay, then what are you waiting for? Get over here." I tell Amelia, summoning her with with my hand gestures, calling her toward me. I make sure to let her control the pace, choose how far she wants to go. She climbs on top of me, her legs straddled as she traces her hands down my sides to rest on my hips. She pauses for a moment and looks straight into my eyes. I see a wild combination of love and lust take over her body. She looks beautiful, but so vulnerable and all my instincts tell me to check she is okay but she has asked me not to so I hold back. Instead, I move my arms towards her, placing one hand on the back of her neck and the other to gently cup her cheek. She takes the hint and leans down to kiss me, but instead of our usual hurried pace it's slow and gentle. Her lips gently caress mine and her tongue swipes gently at my bottom lip, requesting access into my mouth. I accept without thought, kissing her not with speed but with depth, showing all of my love through a basic act of affection.

It doesn't take long for Amelia's hands to find the base of my shirt, fumbling with the material as a request for it to be removed. I move my own hands and place them over my girlfriends, picking up the hem of my top to pull it over my head revealing my bare chest. Her pupils expand further as she takes in the sight, almost as though this is the first time all over again. She carefully moves a hand to cup my breast, caressing it gentle and I feel my nipple harden beneath her touch. The gentle touches and pressure from light squeezes leads to fluid forming between my legs. I clench my thighs, something Amelia notices which causes her to smirk but still I find no release. Her touches stay as slow as they started, switching hands to caress my left breast with the same attention it's twin had been offered. Gentle kisses make their way down from my mouth, past my jaw and neck, keeping going until she attaches her lips to my breast, gently sucking it while kneading the other. Before long she has switched sides once more, making sure both breasts receive equal attention, but that isn't a current concern of mine.

I continue to squirm beneath her until she gets the idea and repositions to take off my panties, allow me to open my legs ready for any attention she is willing to give. Just as I expect her to finally make her move she takes my hand and moves it down to the place I want her most.

"Small circles around your clit. I want to be the one who causes your release so tell me when you're close okay?" She asks in a quiet voice, but I can hear her perfectly due to the silence that surrounds us. I nod to show my understanding, too turned on to focus on words right now. I follow the instructions she has given, slow circles around my clit, not speeding up despite how much I want to. I try to pretend my hands are hers as I keep eye contact with my lover. These moments we have, they're the best moments. Complete trust in the room, and so much love. It's undeniable.

She continues to give my chest all the love and attention she has in her body, her hands studying ever inch of me, like she has never seen my body before. I never feel as sexy as I do with Amelia's eyes on me. It doesn't take long for my hips to be rising, trying to get more pressure from my hand but I keep my touch slow and light as Amelia instructed. When the pressure starts to build in the pit of my stomach, I attempt to lock eye contact once more.

"A- Amy, I'm close" I mumble, waiting and begging for her to help me achieve my release. She swats my hand away from my clit but instead of continuing the movement she presses two fingers into me. The unexpected touch creates a groan from deep within me. She fucks me slowly but her movements firm, not allowing herself to get distracted. When I don't think I can take any more, she uses her other hand to draw quick loops around my sensitive bundle of nerves. I almost immediately begin to quake, her fingers still deep inside me. She doesn't stop her movements while my orgasm takes over which increases its power and the time. After what feels like forever, her movements finally come to an end and I flop backwards onto the bed.

"I'm going to remove my fingers okay?" She explains, giving me notice of her movements. The sheer thought of her removing her hand causes a groan to escape me. But Amelia quickly makes up for it, placing her lips over my own.

"I love you."

"I love you too, but how is it in totally naked and you're still entirely dressed?"

"I don't know. Take them off." Amelia says with a smirk, reaching to remove her top so I can more easily remove her bra.

"Can these go too?" I ask her, keeping my hands on her hips over her underwear. She gives a small nod and I know it's okay, slowly pulling them down her legs.

"Now it's my turn to make you feel good. Top or bottom?"

"Can I stay top?" Amelia asks becoming slightly timid with each passing second.

"Of course. Come here silly." I say with no hesitation in my voice, reconnecting our lips to pick up where we left off.

I hold my hands at the base of her back, pulling her hips down towards my own and placing my thigh between her legs. She grinds lightly against it, keeping her lips on my own, gently continuing our kisses.

"How do you want this?" I ask, not wanting to make the wrong move, knowing how vulnerable she is feeling at this moment. "Do you want to touch yourself or do you want me to?" I follow up, unsure whether what she asked me to do was a hint of what she wanted to follow.

"You please" Amelia responds desperately so I place my hands on her breasts, carefully kneading them for a moment before moving on. I take one hand away and gently stroke it down her body, feeling her tense above me as I reach her folds. I stroke my fingers between then to gently part her lips and she suppresses a guttural moan. I trace small, light circles over her clit, not enough to make her come but enough to increase her sensitivity.

"Az, inside, please." Amelia asks me, and of course I oblige. I carefully press two fingers into her opening, curling them slightly before straightening them once more. Her hips rise with the movement so I begin to pull them out before pressing my way back in, creating a rhythm to which her hips rise. I use my thumb to swipe against her clit as my fingers keep working, but I place my other hand on the back of her neck, pulling her closer to keep our gentle kisses going. It doesn't take long for her to stop responding to the kissing, her body begins to tighten over me.

"Come for me, I love you so much, you're amazing." I whisper quietly as she quakes over me before collapsing on top of my body.

When Amelia gets her breath back, she rolls to the side, now only having an arm and her head resting on my chest.

"What are you thinking about?" I ask her simply, really wanting to ask if she is okay but I have been banned for using such words.

"You asked if I wanted to touch myself." She states with no follow up information.

"I did, because you asked me to touch myself, and I didn't know if that was something you wanted to try or not." I explain.

"I've never, I mean I tried, but I can't do that."

"What do you mean?"

"My hands always turn into his. I've tried so many times across the years but it always ends badly. It's like, I trust you to touch me, but I don't trust myself." She admits, her words becoming quieter as the sentence comes to an end.

"Y'know it's nothing to be embarrassed about right?"

"I know it's just a weird topic to talk about, I can honestly say this is my first discussion with anybody about masterbation."

"Maybe it'd be different if I was here, I mean you could look at me, and pretend your hands are mine. It's not like I haven't seen you naked before and it's a perfectly normal thing, I don't see why you would miss out on if its something you're interested in trying."

"Maybe. Can we not decide right now though?"

"Of course."